neurotic Iraqi wife
October 02, 2004
It Aint Funny....
I am sooooooooooooooooooooo pissed off and need to vent out my anger by screaming, here goes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I hope it reached HUBBY in the Green Zone......Sorry didnt mean to deafen you but I AM SO ANGRY I can kill someone, GRRRRRRRRRRR.
I woke up today with a mission on my mind. I had from such a long time decided that I wanted to join an NGO and go to Baghdad, so far so good. Since the war I had contacted almost all the big organisations telling them that I am willing to go to Iraq and volunteer inorder to help the needy. But every single reply that I got was "Sorry due to the security issues we are not taking anyone on" That was 18 months ago, and till this day I get the same bloody answer.
So anyways, I decided today to go to the Red Crescent in the country where Im residing in currently(somewhere in the middle east). It took me a whole hour to reach the place since Im still trying to adjust to the roads here. It felt like I was driving to the final tip of the city, and still no darn Red Crescent building. Finally when I reached there, the guard told me that they would open at 5 pm, so I had to wait another whole hour inside my car in the sweltering heat. I didnt want to put my AC on full blast cuz guess what??Just my luck I was running low on fuel.
So I sat in the car, smoked a couple of cigarettes, called HUBBY to see if he is still alive, and inorder not to seem out of place, I took my CV out and pretended that I was reading some important documents, just so the men staring would leave me alone....Knowing extremely well I know my cv by heart...At 5 pm, I got out of the car and saw the guard still standing, he said "you know what lady, maybe its better if you come in the morning" he said that while eating some sunflower seeds and spitting the skin on the floor, god....I looked at him with pleading eyes and asked him"Umm but you said this place will open at 5, and now its 5" He then asked after spitting another skin,eeewwwww,"what is it that you want from here?". "Well I wanna volunteer to go to Iraq".
At that moment he choked on one of those seeds, and had a bad coughing attack. I didnt know what to do, since I couldnt really hit the back of a stranger to assist him with removing the bloody seed from his windpipe, can I now???So I just stood there like an idiot telling him that a glass of water would probably be helpful. After regaining his composure, he said" Well, I dont think there is such a thing as volunteering for Iraq, but try your luck you never know"
A lady stepped out of the car and the man pointed at her and told me she is responsible for the volunteering activities go with her. She took me up to the 3rd floor, and then asked me "yes child are you here to become a volunteer?"Me child??Hmmm(in Arabic she said literally"aih ya mama aiza ti'milee aih?ayza titawa'ee??) Sorry had to write this sentence in Arabic, cuz its hilarious...Anyways, I just went to the point and said"yes I wanna be a volunteer IN IRAQ". I dunno why but I think she probably thought I was someone from another planet. She smiled and said"Sorry dear, you have to be a national of this country, you cant just go to Iraq, cuz this red crescent represents this country, so sorry I cant help you, but maybe if you are interested in becoming a volunteer here and help out in a certain department"
My face fell, I was speachless, I was in shock....What does she mean I have to be a national of this country????I AM IRAQI bloody hell....I mean I do hold a European passport but I AM IRAQI AND I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOO. But that wasnt all, she then asked me 'which school do you go to??"HUH????SCHOOL???What the hell???ME GO TO SCHOOL???IM ALMOST 30 BLOODY HELL.I looked straight into her eyes and said Im a house wife(a sentence that I really abhore), I have finished with school and university for quite some time now. She smiled and said"oooooooh but you look so young" Ok usually I would have taken this sentence as a compliment but at that moment I was seething. She then went on explaining to me what I need if I do decide to become a volunteer here, then she said "and obviously you need a paper signed by your husband that he accepts you becoming a volunteer" I was like "huh, my husband???why do I need a letter???Im old enough to make my own decisions, and besides my husband is away he isnt here" She said ok then your guardian...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Just because Im in an Arabic country doesnt mean I cant make decisions on my own, but no, things dont work this way here.....and it aint funny....
I grabbed the bloody application form and ran to my car.Even the guard on my way out asked me, that was fast, are you done. I looked at him and just said thanx.......That was my miserable day....I mean, Im so confused, what if I just hold an Iraqi passport and I wanted to help out in Iraq, where do I go to? I have go to Iraq and then wait to see if they will take me????This is crazy. My dream is shattered to pieces and Im sure if I do recount this story to HUBBY he will be laughing his head off, but it aint funny.....
I woke up today with a mission on my mind. I had from such a long time decided that I wanted to join an NGO and go to Baghdad, so far so good. Since the war I had contacted almost all the big organisations telling them that I am willing to go to Iraq and volunteer inorder to help the needy. But every single reply that I got was "Sorry due to the security issues we are not taking anyone on" That was 18 months ago, and till this day I get the same bloody answer.
So anyways, I decided today to go to the Red Crescent in the country where Im residing in currently(somewhere in the middle east). It took me a whole hour to reach the place since Im still trying to adjust to the roads here. It felt like I was driving to the final tip of the city, and still no darn Red Crescent building. Finally when I reached there, the guard told me that they would open at 5 pm, so I had to wait another whole hour inside my car in the sweltering heat. I didnt want to put my AC on full blast cuz guess what??Just my luck I was running low on fuel.
So I sat in the car, smoked a couple of cigarettes, called HUBBY to see if he is still alive, and inorder not to seem out of place, I took my CV out and pretended that I was reading some important documents, just so the men staring would leave me alone....Knowing extremely well I know my cv by heart...At 5 pm, I got out of the car and saw the guard still standing, he said "you know what lady, maybe its better if you come in the morning" he said that while eating some sunflower seeds and spitting the skin on the floor, god....I looked at him with pleading eyes and asked him"Umm but you said this place will open at 5, and now its 5" He then asked after spitting another skin,eeewwwww,"what is it that you want from here?". "Well I wanna volunteer to go to Iraq".
At that moment he choked on one of those seeds, and had a bad coughing attack. I didnt know what to do, since I couldnt really hit the back of a stranger to assist him with removing the bloody seed from his windpipe, can I now???So I just stood there like an idiot telling him that a glass of water would probably be helpful. After regaining his composure, he said" Well, I dont think there is such a thing as volunteering for Iraq, but try your luck you never know"
A lady stepped out of the car and the man pointed at her and told me she is responsible for the volunteering activities go with her. She took me up to the 3rd floor, and then asked me "yes child are you here to become a volunteer?"Me child??Hmmm(in Arabic she said literally"aih ya mama aiza ti'milee aih?ayza titawa'ee??) Sorry had to write this sentence in Arabic, cuz its hilarious...Anyways, I just went to the point and said"yes I wanna be a volunteer IN IRAQ". I dunno why but I think she probably thought I was someone from another planet. She smiled and said"Sorry dear, you have to be a national of this country, you cant just go to Iraq, cuz this red crescent represents this country, so sorry I cant help you, but maybe if you are interested in becoming a volunteer here and help out in a certain department"
My face fell, I was speachless, I was in shock....What does she mean I have to be a national of this country????I AM IRAQI bloody hell....I mean I do hold a European passport but I AM IRAQI AND I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOO. But that wasnt all, she then asked me 'which school do you go to??"HUH????SCHOOL???What the hell???ME GO TO SCHOOL???IM ALMOST 30 BLOODY HELL.I looked straight into her eyes and said Im a house wife(a sentence that I really abhore), I have finished with school and university for quite some time now. She smiled and said"oooooooh but you look so young" Ok usually I would have taken this sentence as a compliment but at that moment I was seething. She then went on explaining to me what I need if I do decide to become a volunteer here, then she said "and obviously you need a paper signed by your husband that he accepts you becoming a volunteer" I was like "huh, my husband???why do I need a letter???Im old enough to make my own decisions, and besides my husband is away he isnt here" She said ok then your guardian...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Just because Im in an Arabic country doesnt mean I cant make decisions on my own, but no, things dont work this way here.....and it aint funny....
I grabbed the bloody application form and ran to my car.Even the guard on my way out asked me, that was fast, are you done. I looked at him and just said thanx.......That was my miserable day....I mean, Im so confused, what if I just hold an Iraqi passport and I wanted to help out in Iraq, where do I go to? I have go to Iraq and then wait to see if they will take me????This is crazy. My dream is shattered to pieces and Im sure if I do recount this story to HUBBY he will be laughing his head off, but it aint funny.....
12 Comments:
Hi, NIW
I'm glad you posted this, I think you read my mind or something. Remember the other day when You told me you wanted to read my Blog, but told me that the country in which you reside did not allow you to access my blog. I said I would try to make it available to you somehow. I Thought about it for a few days, thinking of which blog geek I could get to help me help you.
Then I came to the conclusion that there really was nothing that I should do to my blog, and lots you should do on your side to make sure that you live in a country that allows you access to whatever information that You might desire. Who are they to judge the value of my blog.
And now you present us with this beautiful example of how nothing I do to my blog will help You .
Madtom
Hi,
Nice post. I'm writing from Brazil, from all places, but I like to check on blogs of other parts of the world to find out what's going on. But, hum, aren't you afraid to go to Iraq now? Maybe after the elections it gets better. Maybe.
Sounds like you are in Abu Dhabi, get used to it. They are not the friendliest staff I hear over there, dont worry about local Iraqi politics and gatherings here they have nothing better to do than to talk argue and gossip as u know by now, at least u didnt have to sit through a pro-Saddamee versus pro-American argument....
arg....
Keep your outrage. Don't ever think that having to get your husband's permission is normal. I am old enough to remember a time in the US before equal rights but it was never in my lifetime as bad as the Middle East.
Basically, in a nomadic culture you had no possessions except your camels and wives and with a tribal power system, you became richer if you had more kids ('may your tribe increase'). For this reason...it was good to force kids to marry cousins, which we of course now know causes birth defects.
Be glad you are European. Try to help all the people of the Middle East out of their backwardness but....
be glad you are European. Protect your new culture...give it your allegiance and love and loyalty. Its hard I know to be torn in two but you cannot really go home again in a true emotional sense for you have grown.
You are helping your people with your blog. Do what you can but stay safe.
thinker
.... Yes, I know it wasn't funny. Must have been a very long day for you. My sympathies....
Keep your good humour...which shows so nicely in your posts.
Something to keep in mind if your efforts to go don't succed. All of you that blog, that share your thoughts and concerns are valued and immensly appreciated. Your energies are not being wasted.
.....go, fill out the bloody application and keep us informed.
Partisan Hack 101
Madtom, So I finally got you thinking, yay,lol, just kidding. Its a bummer that I cant read your posts, since I was looking forward to them. The problem is although this country displays a modern outlook on things, at the end of the day its just a display....
From Brazil, thanx for your kind words, Im glad that we have this technology to enable people from this whole wide world to communicate together and share ideas and dreams....And in answer to your question, No I aint frightened to go now, I know its very dangerous,but what is better, to stay where Im at and do nothing???or go and do something that will be of great help???
Iraqi Opinions, Lol, you sound very familiar, and sorry to disappoint you, but I too was subjected to the pro Saddamee, and pro American arguement, it was torture and it still is...
Thinker, yes you are absolutely right about the "tribal" culture, and how backwards they are. But let me say one thing, I can never ever forget for one second that Im Iraqi. Even if I possess another nationality, being an Iraqi is in my blood. No matter how hard one tries to adapt to the certain culture that one is surrounded by, one always tends to go back to his roots be it intentionally or unintentionally,but I do understand what you are saying...
Partisan, having seen the attitude of the organisation, there's no way in hell I will subject myself to the sexual degradation by submitting a paper signed by my husband or "my guardian" inorder to do something. I think I have decided to contact my councilate and ask them if they can help me into finding an NGO that would take me on for Iraq...
Neuro' & Madtom ~
lol, they don't open till 5pm?
That's odd you can't access Madtom's blog, it's just a blogger site, same host as yours and IBC. Can you view his page from this link? Madtom, If it's still an issue, i'd like to help somehow. Let me know.
Emigre, unfortunately, I cant, all I get is "THIS SITE IS BLOCKED", tells you so much about the country Im living in....Although I know pretty well, that the big guys here can access porno sites if they wanted to, but Im just an ordinary expat here, with no rights whatsoever, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Yup neurotic wife, I used to live in UAE and had been treated the same way. That's the beauty of Middle Eastern countries..oh I mean ARAB countries..no matter who you are, you will still be counted a non-local of their country and therefore called 'waafadi'? (as to what I remember them calling us). No matter how long you live in an Arab country, most of the time you need permission or 'mo amila' from a local of the country who has the ability to do anything. It breaks my heart to know that I barely have lived in my Iraqi home. NEVER ONCE did I feel completely at home. NEVER ONCE did I feel comfortable with the people surrounding me all these years. Such is life! I assume you and other Iraqis feel the same way as I do. One day we will all be living in Iraq..with our family and friends, that day I continue to dream of and wait for. One day we will also recount the days we have been through to get Iraq and Iraqis that far to become peaceful. When is that day though? God knows when...
Sara.
NW,
I have an idea, maybe if you get the correct document signed and witnessed with permission form your guardians, and then take it to the information ministries, file the necessary applications and interviews with the appropriate people you can get special disposition to view my blog.
The only problem with all that is that my blog is not worth the efforts.
Good luck
Madtom
"Madtom, If it's still an issue, i'd like to help somehow. Let me know."
emigre
The truth is I would like your help, you have offered the wrong person, I will accept your offers.
No matter what I told NW about being self reliant about your own right's, I still will take any opportunity to stick it to them... If there is something I could do to my blog that will allow it to jump the firewall's of them evil censers without changing the title of my blog, I will try it out.
Madtom
....yes, just exactly what is this 5pm opening about? And that's a maybe!?! I'm guessing it's an all volunteer enterprise staffed with people who have "day" jobs?
You go girl...Whoohooo, don't give em that attitude all at once.....slowly, now...ever so slowly.
Partisan Hack 101
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