neurotic Iraqi wife

I just came back from a family friend's house whose old mother had passed away in Najaf. It was pretty somber. Usually in our culture, if someone dies, the family of that person holds 3 days of mourning,for people to go and give their condolences. The man of the relative would either receive the people at his house or at a specific mosque that has such facilities, and the woman would have it at the house. Men and women are separated. Then you have a sheikh that comes in and reads from the Quran, or you simply put a tape/CD of someone reciting the Quran.

Women would wear black from top to toe, and during their visit they will have a choice of reading parts of the Quran. The men on the other hand are not obliged to wear black. On the third day, the relatives of the deceased would hold a dinner banquet in honour of his/her soul.

I used to refuse to go to such gatherings simply because I never knew what to say on such occassions. I have learnt one sentence I would keep repeating it over and over again. I used to feel quite awkward, especially when I would see the women wailing. Now I tend to go to give condolences only to the people that mean something to me and are close.

I realised that these occassions which are supposed to be part of some soul searching and a reflection on one's life has turned into one big social event. You see women with the latest fashion and make up strutting along with their high heeled stilettos and coiffed hair with one thing missing, a sign that says we are off to a party. The Quran would be in the background and all you hear is the chatter of the ladies discussing the latest news, or their children and some tend to even say bloody jokes. I really dont understand where has the respect gone to???

Today I sat down in a corner, trying to hide myself from women who would come to me no doubt to congratulate me on my wedding and to ask about HUBBY. I just hate it when they pinch your cheeks and say "my Godddddddd you have grown, how are you??, mabrook(congratulations) on your wedding I was soooooooooo happy to hear the good news, where is he now???and cmon when are you gonna have kids???" Hellooooooooooo, I have been a grown up for the past donkey years and please can you stop pinching my cheeks, they are sore already....Geez

I wasnt able to escape the torture, I really wanted to be left alone to reflect on the words of the Quran, and try to assess my life and what I have achieved so far. But I wasnt that lucky, a lady came and sat next to me, with a smile that even displayed the last tooth at the back of her mouth. What do you do when there's a green yucky thing stuck between the stranger's teeth??? I tried to avoid looking at it and forcing back my giggles, but then I just couldnt sit there and allow the lady to flaunt her herbalised teeth so I said "Umm auntie there's umm something between your teeth" The poor woman tried to remove it but no avail, so finally she went off to the bathroom and I think from the humiliation didnt return back next to me, hehe....Thank God

In any case I stayed one hour then left, I couldnt bare the discussions they were having but I started wandering, how many families in Iraq would be mourning today???How many families would have black signs outside their houses revealing the number of martyrs today???I really wander, how many mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, lost a loved one today....

Its sad so sad, that the bloodshed hasnt stopped and is continuing to be spilt. It angers me even more when I hear on the Arabic media how they announce the deaths of Iraqis compared to the deaths of the other Arab nations. For Iraqis they would simply say "such and such numbers of Iraqis got killed today" while for the other nations "such and such numbers were martyred today" Why are other Arabs, martyrs and the Iraqis are just killed????why???What have the children that were martyred yesterday done for them to be just a number on the never ending list of casualties????What was their fault that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time???

People die all the time but whats been happening in Iraq since the tyrants regime until today is a catastrophe against humanity. Everyday I keep asking myself who is responsible, why cant they stop them, why arent they doing anything about it....

HUBBY too was depressed today, I guess its his time of the month. I tried to cheer him up, but didnt succeed... Sorry HUBBY.....What a day, a day of mourning.......