neurotic Iraqi wife

Two things I warned HUBBY about before getting married, one is my addiction with my hair, and the other my addiction to shoes. I have been through crazy phases during my life, especially when I left to study abroad far away from the complications of the Iraqi society and their stinging tongues....

I found myself free, independent, something I have always dreamed to be. My dad wasnt keen to sending me away to study, he wanted me to enroll in the universities that were close to them, but I filled all the applications behind his back and sent all the enrollment fees. Knowing that when push comes to shove he will succumb to it. The day I got my acceptance was a great day. And dad could not stop me....

The first year was great, and an eye opener to many things. One thing I discovered was something called "SUN IN". A hair spray that claims to "naturally" transform your hair from being dark to a lighter colour by spraying it on, and either going out in the sun or blow drying the hair. Since the UK is known for its horrible weather and the rare sight of the sun, I opted for the latter. And off I went to start my mission, spraying, blow drying, spraying, blow drying, spraying and blow drying, until one day, my hair turned blondish orange,yaaaaaaaaay, I have become a blonde!!!LOL. The problem was that end of term was near and I was due to visit my family for the christmas holidays. So I called up my mom and tried to warn her about the status of my hair subtley:

ME:Hi mom, how are things?
MOTHER: Hi, how are you, we all are looking forward to seeing you here with us
ME: Umm mom, there's something I wanna tell you
MOTHER: sure what is it? are you craving for a certain dish that you want us to cook for you??(I swear I dunno why all they care about is feeding me)
ME: Umm no mom, I just wanna tell you that umm, my hair, my hair has become abit lighter.
MOTHER: Lighter?what do you mean, and how?
ME: Umm theres some kind of a "natural" spray that you put on your hair and it just turns lighter with the sun
MOTHER: what sun are you talking about???There's no sun where you are at, its practically freezing
ME: Oh cmon mom, there is sun but you wont feel the heat cuz of the chill factor, so dont be surprised ok mom
MOTHER: Hmm, ok, we all miss you here....

Poor mom, didnt know what was waiting for her when she saw me at the airport, and the worst thing was that the "whole" family came to greet me, even my dad who never ever goes to the airport. I was waving and waving through the glass, but all I saw were bewildered eyes searching for someone. Hmm, I began to wonder, was there someone else they were expecting on that plane???But then my younger sister started jumping up and down,pointing at me and everyone, I mean everyone stood there with their mouths agape. I guess the sight of me with my new hair shocked them to the core..hehe

My dad started gesturing with his hands for me to go back on the plane, and my brother's face went into convulsions.....Umm what can I say except that I have left them a brunette and came back to them a weird shade of yellowish orange....and I absolutely LURVED it.....

Although it took me quite a while to understand their disgusted views, especially my brother's who said to me that I look like one of those "bad" girls and forced me to go to the hairdressers to "fix" the disaster I had done...Since then, I have become addicted to my hair. I would experiment with every dye I came across, with every style possible. All that done within the confinement of my university years.....I tried bright red, pitch black, yellow blonde, dark brown, aubergine, until I ended up with naturally blonde high lights with a caramel base and kinda got stuck on it.....

Apart from the colouring schemes, I have also discovered the use of the magical scissors. I would watch the hairdressers, and say "wow, thats easy, I can do that, I dont need a degree in hair to cut" and so a star was born,hehe. You know how sometimes when women get angry or depressed they leash their anger on their credit cards???Well my anger was centered around my poor hair. Instead of going shopping, I would hold the scissors and chop until I drop,lol....I would end up with a nasty work of art.

All this kinda stopped when I realised that I wasnt born with artistic fingers and so the hairdresser became my favourate person on earth. I have met so many of them, one in particular was totally nuts. He would keep on saying "eeeet eeez oool eeen zeee cut" hmm, oool een zeee wha'???? I would see him holding the scissors in the air along with some strands but is cutting the bloody air and not my hair.... After 2 gruelling hours, of cutting the air instead of the "hair" he said "oooooooook eeeet eeeez feeneetooo". Feeneeto???huh???I look at my hair its the same, I look at the floor, there's barely anything on it...I looked confused and asked"umm are you done??is this it???"(I was ready to strangle him, there I was sitting on my ass for 2 bloody hours thinking that im gonna turn into one of those ad models with my newest hair cut, FAT CHANCE) He looked at me with triumph in his eyes and said "eeeet eeez ooool eeen zeee cut my deeeeeer"

I got up paid a vast amount of money and left cursing the man, until this day....As for shoes, now thats another story, I am obssessed, totally and utterly.... I love shoes. But I aint going into that just yet. So since HUBBY loves blondes(dunno why all men do) I may pay a visit to a hairdresser and try out the new platinum blonde,yaaaaaaaay, cant wait....Or even better, I will ask for the new craze of Strawberry Red so that HUBBY would realise that his wife has lost it BIG TIME and would stay with me forever to relinquish whats left of the sane moi...hehe

So would it be Platinum Blonde or Strawberry Red???hmmm a difficult choice.....