neurotic Iraqi wife
September 01, 2004
Past versus Present
I absolutely loathe it when I ask HUBBY about his past experiences and all I get is a shrug with a mumble of "they meant nuthin" yeah right, and elephants fly...
But I guess HUBBY is pretty smart and has sussed me out pretty well. He knows that if he does say anything I will be at his throat, even though it all happened in the past, but whats the guarantee it wont happen in the present or the future?
There are many reasons behind my curiousity, first and foremost I want to find out what sort of guy he is, ie what sort of women attract him so I can make sure to steer him away from any potential sites..or shall I say parasites!!! secondly I wanna improve on everything he disliked so I can be "THE" WIFE of his dreams not that he has any dreams except ofcourse of space shuttles and Star Trek...
And last but not least, I sometimes have the urge to argue, argue about everything and anything, just for the heck of it, I love picking fights, no wander he left me in no time....I guess I scared him
On our 3 day honeymoon, we went to this beach and oh my god it was filled and I mean filled with women wearing next to nothing, that even I ended up staring, I dont stare to say wowww she looks great, I stare to say "god look at the amount of cellulite she has" or "I wouldnt be seen in that with a body like this" but my dearest HUBBY just stares and stares and does more staring...I wasnt sure if he did it to bug the hell outa me or its just a habbit like all poorsaken beings that are called men...So when I didnt comment he turned around to me and said "hey how come you arent jealous of me looking?" I gave him the simplest verse from one of my great time favourates "The Devil's advocate" where al pacino says "look but dont touch, touch but dont taste, taste but dont swallow"
HUBBY stopped looking for the rest of the vacation...Great tactic no?
No seriously, why is it that men are totally so secretive about their past and we women just to tend to blabber everything in probably the first few minutes?And then there out of the blue he utters a name, um excuse me who did you just say? what was that name,and all I get is urm, she was someone from the past. Aha someone from the past ok, so can you ellaborate?again the"it was nuthin"shrug...hmmm.Ok so was she cute?nope,was she nice?nope,was she attractive?nope,then I start fuming, so if she wasnt nice, wasnt cute, wasnt attractive what were you doing with her, umm,nuthin much, yeah right didnt I say elephants can fly?
So then I use the self absorbance technique, ok so am I cuter?of course you are sweety, great, ok so am I nicer, oh cmon baby you are the nicest person I have ever met, aha sure, ok ok then was she more attractive? oh come here qtpie and hugs me so tight that I can feel my rib cage will break into pieces, helloooooo so is that a yes or a no, the squeeze becomes even more fatal and he whispers in my ears saying I was the bestest and that I should take these silly thoughts out of my head, I told you elephants are surely soaring up in the sky.....
I have always wondered what it feels like being Mrs BOBBIT, what was going through her mind when she decapitated her husband's you know...Will I ever reach that stage, we will have to wait and see, ouch!!! hehe
But I guess HUBBY is pretty smart and has sussed me out pretty well. He knows that if he does say anything I will be at his throat, even though it all happened in the past, but whats the guarantee it wont happen in the present or the future?
There are many reasons behind my curiousity, first and foremost I want to find out what sort of guy he is, ie what sort of women attract him so I can make sure to steer him away from any potential sites..or shall I say parasites!!! secondly I wanna improve on everything he disliked so I can be "THE" WIFE of his dreams not that he has any dreams except ofcourse of space shuttles and Star Trek...
And last but not least, I sometimes have the urge to argue, argue about everything and anything, just for the heck of it, I love picking fights, no wander he left me in no time....I guess I scared him
On our 3 day honeymoon, we went to this beach and oh my god it was filled and I mean filled with women wearing next to nothing, that even I ended up staring, I dont stare to say wowww she looks great, I stare to say "god look at the amount of cellulite she has" or "I wouldnt be seen in that with a body like this" but my dearest HUBBY just stares and stares and does more staring...I wasnt sure if he did it to bug the hell outa me or its just a habbit like all poorsaken beings that are called men...So when I didnt comment he turned around to me and said "hey how come you arent jealous of me looking?" I gave him the simplest verse from one of my great time favourates "The Devil's advocate" where al pacino says "look but dont touch, touch but dont taste, taste but dont swallow"
HUBBY stopped looking for the rest of the vacation...Great tactic no?
No seriously, why is it that men are totally so secretive about their past and we women just to tend to blabber everything in probably the first few minutes?And then there out of the blue he utters a name, um excuse me who did you just say? what was that name,and all I get is urm, she was someone from the past. Aha someone from the past ok, so can you ellaborate?again the"it was nuthin"shrug...hmmm.Ok so was she cute?nope,was she nice?nope,was she attractive?nope,then I start fuming, so if she wasnt nice, wasnt cute, wasnt attractive what were you doing with her, umm,nuthin much, yeah right didnt I say elephants can fly?
So then I use the self absorbance technique, ok so am I cuter?of course you are sweety, great, ok so am I nicer, oh cmon baby you are the nicest person I have ever met, aha sure, ok ok then was she more attractive? oh come here qtpie and hugs me so tight that I can feel my rib cage will break into pieces, helloooooo so is that a yes or a no, the squeeze becomes even more fatal and he whispers in my ears saying I was the bestest and that I should take these silly thoughts out of my head, I told you elephants are surely soaring up in the sky.....
I have always wondered what it feels like being Mrs BOBBIT, what was going through her mind when she decapitated her husband's you know...Will I ever reach that stage, we will have to wait and see, ouch!!! hehe
5 Comments:
Hi,
Two things: 1) As I was going into work today I put a CD with mixd arabic songs, where our (me and my Fiance's) song was on it...(yes i know we're really sad!!)anyway, while the CD was running, Kathem Al saher's song "Budak habibi mushkila" came on and i thought of you staright away. I guess i'm telling you this so that you don't feel alone.
2) I think i have a possible solution for your prob...even though i strongly advise you to not do it, because when you Hubby actually comes back and finds out that it's a lie he might get really upset!. So think about it..what if you were pregnant?! He comes, and then you really work at it and the lie will hopefully turn out to be the truth...
very cunning...
I know....
Doesn't number 2 sound like an Egyptian melodrama?...with all due respect to Egyptian melodramas. maybe i should think of another solution for you...
OMG anon,
Wallah you made me laugh so much when I read what you wrote, seriously, im still smiling big time, I wanna thank you for that tip but as they say great minds think alike and thats why PLAN A was put into action but unfortunately timing was not right. And as cunning as u sound,(which blv me i really liked) I was gonna lie but you know what, hold on, im gonna call HUBBY and see his reaction,LMAO, now that will be a first...will write about it in my post
Hi anon, I just wanted to ask if everything is ok with your fiance?where is he he?is he in iraq?oo btw, me and HUBBY have a song too and its "aint no body loves me better" by chaka khan. when I listen to it,it gives me energy and puts me in a good mood,lol
As for staring, men's brains are not as well integrated as women's. A man can consciously be solving differential equations in his head while staring intently at a woman, unaware that he is doing so. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home