neurotic Iraqi wife
August 28, 2004
Does Anyone Have a Clue How To....
Hmm A question I really need to ask both women and men, does anyone have a clue how to get HUBBY glued to me? I mean I did it ALL, I know its kinda tabboo to talk about these issues in our culture but being desperate erases all tabboo subjects, and besides I havent told any of my friends or family about my blog so no one really knows who is this kookoo WIFE, hahhahahahha. I am sure if they did find out, they will definitely enrol me in the psychotic hospital.
Now back to that question, you see, when HUBBY told me about his R&R and that he has 10 days off, I ran to the shops and got my hands on every piece of se** lingerie I can find, I just thought maybe that will do it, maybe in one unsane moment he will confess his undying love and forget about going back. Here is what happened...
I get off the plane wearing really uncomfortable things (god the things we women do to please our men, if only they appreciate it)I see my HUBBY waiting for me at the arrivals gate, I run to him and hug him so hard, people turned around staring at us, I guess no one is used to public affection now a days...Anyways then we hop in the car and head home, I was sitting silently so i can concentrate on the plans I had to get HUBBY under my spell,(even the Quran mentions how women can be cunning: Inna kaydahunna atheem)
Without getting into the juicy details and cutting the story short, even those se** uncomfortable, horrible items of clothing I had to endure for the whole vacation DID NOT BLOODY WORK!!! So Plan A didnt work let me try plan B which is to get him addicted to my cooking, I cooked and cooked and I even attempted to cook mulookhiya for him, a kind of spinachy like broth, it was supposed to turn slimy, after 4 hours of boiling the darn thing still looked like small leaves swimming in water, but being the nice HUBBY that he is, or probably because he was starving he ate the whole thing, and I guess suffered later, oooops poor HUBBY. But never the less Plan B didnt work either, I guess its because he didnt mind eating Iraqi Kabab, masgoof and fashafeesh, every single day who wouldnt?
So HUBBY left me yet again, and here I am thinking about Plans C through to Z, I say to myself maybe, just maybe oneday one plan will work and I will get my HUBBY back, just for me, myself and I.
So does anyone have a clue how to????
Now back to that question, you see, when HUBBY told me about his R&R and that he has 10 days off, I ran to the shops and got my hands on every piece of se** lingerie I can find, I just thought maybe that will do it, maybe in one unsane moment he will confess his undying love and forget about going back. Here is what happened...
I get off the plane wearing really uncomfortable things (god the things we women do to please our men, if only they appreciate it)I see my HUBBY waiting for me at the arrivals gate, I run to him and hug him so hard, people turned around staring at us, I guess no one is used to public affection now a days...Anyways then we hop in the car and head home, I was sitting silently so i can concentrate on the plans I had to get HUBBY under my spell,(even the Quran mentions how women can be cunning: Inna kaydahunna atheem)
Without getting into the juicy details and cutting the story short, even those se** uncomfortable, horrible items of clothing I had to endure for the whole vacation DID NOT BLOODY WORK!!! So Plan A didnt work let me try plan B which is to get him addicted to my cooking, I cooked and cooked and I even attempted to cook mulookhiya for him, a kind of spinachy like broth, it was supposed to turn slimy, after 4 hours of boiling the darn thing still looked like small leaves swimming in water, but being the nice HUBBY that he is, or probably because he was starving he ate the whole thing, and I guess suffered later, oooops poor HUBBY. But never the less Plan B didnt work either, I guess its because he didnt mind eating Iraqi Kabab, masgoof and fashafeesh, every single day who wouldnt?
So HUBBY left me yet again, and here I am thinking about Plans C through to Z, I say to myself maybe, just maybe oneday one plan will work and I will get my HUBBY back, just for me, myself and I.
So does anyone have a clue how to????
2 Comments:
Fetna in arabic means the enchanting beauty that women possess. It also means social disorder and choas.
I say Iraqi women of the world, Unite! lets cause anarchy with our womenly magic.
Dear Neurotic Iraqi Wife, You don't need to threaten HUBBY with a knife. He is already terrified of you without the fear for his body parts. If you want to drive HUBBY crazy with your love, you need to demand it, you need to impose it. Begging for it like a common panhandler on the streets doesn't work.
Let me give you a small tip for starters. Try to think of a good woman friend. Somebody you like being around and somebody who laughs lots and wears loud clothes. Phone her up and setup a fun women's night out with her. Do something really fun, go see a musical, modern dance performance or dine in a fancy place. Next time your HUBBY calls, tell him about all the fun you are having but also mention that you miss him.
I dunno' what to tell you, because "Plan A" would have definitely worked on me.
I will say no more.
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