neurotic Iraqi wife
November 25, 2008
The HUBBY Countdown...
I cooked, washed, cleaned. And loved every second. I felt like a real couple, doing real things together. Before he actually came here, I wasn’t feeling well. I had passed out in the Doctor’s office after having been subjected to routine blood tests 2 days consecutively. I guess being petite and already possessing a phobia from needles, played a big role. I remember waking up finding myself drenched in water. I looked and saw worried faces staring at me. I didn’t know what had happened until the nurse told me.
I was shaken. I cant even remember the last time I fainted. I tried getting up from the bed, but my knees felt shaky and I couldn’t move. I waited for about half an hour until I was able to get up. I just wanted to leave that place. Leave and never see it AGAIN. I HATE NEEDLES! I don’t even know how I ended up in my parents house. I didn’t want them to know what happened, so I just pretended all is good. But the minute I left them, I cried. I cried like no tomorrow. I was scared. Scared that my body gave up on me. Scared that there was a part of me I actually couldn’t control. I felt weak.
I called HUBBY who was in Iraq at the time and he calmed me down and told me that everything is ok, and that I shouldn’t really get worried. People faint, it happens. Especially people who don’t eat much and are scared from needles, like me. I felt much better after our conversation. A few days later, he was right by my side. And this time it wasn’t just for a few hours. This time it was longer, much longer. Although it wasn’t as long as I desired, it was still great.
We had worked a routine so we can both work AND have fun. We would wake up early every day, work for a few hours, cook lunch, go back to work, then go out in the afternoon. It was relaxing. Relaxing and mellow. We both respected each other’s time. Shockingly, I didn’t nag much. I was surprised at my own behavior. What happened? What happened to the neurotic wife that I was? Where did she go? Id enter the study and see empty coke cans upon coke cans littering the table, together with ashtrays filled to the top with cig butts. If this was me before, Id be uncontrollable with me complaining and nagging him to clean up. But now, now it was simple. I would just toss everything in the trash myself, without uttering a word.
If he wanted to cook or assist me, I never said no. Previously, I would have panic attacks the minute he enters the kitchen. LOL. Simply because I knew that the shiny clean kitchen would end up something like a scene from a war zone. But this time, this time I didn’t care. I just wanted HUBBY to be happy. Happy being with me.
I cant stand wet floors. Infact I go crazy if the bathroom floor is drenched with water. Or maybe I should say, I USED to go crazy. Im a very precise washer. I pull the shower curtains so tight so as not to have a single water drop on the floor. HUBBY on the other hand, doesn’t really care. “It’s the bathroom, it has to get wet”, he usually says when I used to nag him. But now, now I don’t complain. You know why? Cause by some miracle, he became careful and made sure the curtain is pulled well. LOL.
I guess learning each other’s perks comes with time, time and actually living together. Yeah time did pass by fast. It usually does when you are having so much fun. And fun, it definitely was. But now, now he is gone again. Gone back to his mistress. The mistress that I’d love to hate. And Im back. Back to being a single wife :(
As for the political situation in Iraq, Im not moved by it at all. The SOFA is going to be passed in parliament whether the Sadrists are against it or not. But Muqtada’s threats should be taken seriously. Maliki should put a stop to this crazy man. Just yesterday another poor disabled woman was strapped with explosives infront of the GZ gate. This probably is Al Qaeda’s doing. Using humans like that is just beyond me. Hell is definitely their destiny. I seriously cannot fathom how can these people utter Allah’s name on their tongues. I seriously cant. Disgusted is an understatement. That’s all Im gonna say on that subject, because honestly, I don’t want to fume. Not right now, anyways.
Did I ever mention that I finally received pictures of my orphans? I was so over the moon when Generation Iraq sent me an email with photos of the children. Although my heart did get constricted for a few seconds. How many more are out there? How many more have no homes and are left fending for themselves? Even though I never gave birth to these kids, I love them as my own. Maybe one day I will get to meet them in person. As for now, I have started my countdown again, Yaaaaaaaaaaay. The HUBBY countdown...
November 07, 2008
The Obama Change Glow...
I just don’t understand though, the dismay of many people to Obama being elected president. I don’t understand why so many people are angry. IBC, it was YOUR people that voted for him, not I. It was YOUR people that came out in large numbers and selected him, umm not I. It was YOUR people that partied in the streets with joy, not I. So maybe, you should write a post about how the American people were soo sooo wrong in your opinion.
Those millions who voted for Obama must have seen something worthwhile in him to want a change, don’t you think? Or am I just too delusional? It wasn’t the American people who voted. Oh I get it, it was some fleet of aliens that landed secretly on American soil and casted their votes. Yeah that’s it. Those hungry for change people weren’t people afterall.
Its shameful to see educated people like yourselves denounce your new government. Oh and please correct your post, it was just I who wanted Obama, HUBBY, who if you recall from my posts “the males in my family wanted McCain” wanted McCain. So please take him out of the equation since he isn’t here to read the BS. As for the Pay cheques you so eloquently put it, yes I did get paid. Like any hardworking person who does their job in the best of their ability. But umm, let me remind you something, the money that all of us in Iraq got paid, including the Americans who were getting four to three times more than I was, was NOT from Bush’s pocket. Correct me if Im wrong, did Bush himself pay our cheques? Was it his hard earned money? Hmmm, maybe I’M REALLY DELUSIONAL NOW.
All the money that was spent in Iraq or Afghanistan, came from YOUR pockets. The Tax Payers pockets. The same tax payers that voted for Obama. And if you weren’t as superficial as you turned out to be, you should have read my posts and UNDERSTOOD them. My choice for Obama is solely for a selfish reason. Like any Iraqi, I want a solution to the mayhem in my country. Had you read my previous posts, Blatant Neurotic Iraqi Truth you would know that I don’t blame the Americans anymore, I infact put the chaos to what Iraq has become on the shoulders of the Iraqi government. So again get YOUR facts straight.
And yes I still go for Obama. I read a few posts about what a bad choice Obama is for Iraq, especially knowing what Biden suggested awhile back for dividing Iraq. YES AND SO? If that’s the only solution that will save Iraq from further bloodshed, then be it. Iraq is already divided if you havent noticed. What kind of country has replicas of ministries and ministers governing? You did know that right?
Im sure you are so knowledgeable about my country that you know in the Northern part they have their own ministries. They make their own decisions. Umm, not sure what you call that? A beautiful cooperation? As for the South, now that’s a different story. Although there are no ministries, but they have representative offices. Which is fine right? Only natural. BUT its not so NATURAL, if the individual that manages these offices makes his own decisions, backed NOT by the government, but by his own PARTY. So umm, again I dunno what you call this. In hindsight Iraq IS divided.
The Bush administration had given so much to the Iraqi govt on a gold plate. And Im sure you will not argue with me on this point. And I hope you will agree with me, that the Iraqi govt didn’t do much. I will give you a simple example. Something that although shocked me, but didn’t surprise me. A few days ago, I was chatting with HUBBY. I felt something was wrong. I asked him why the bad mood. He said: Neurotica you wont believe this. We did the site check, and the final walk through, for the project to be handed over. The DG, Director General, refused to sign the handover papers”
A few days later, that same DG, came to my HUBBY and said, I will only sign this paper, if you give me money. WHAT THE HELL!!! HUBBY ofcourse replied as calmly as he can and said “Listen, this millions of dollars project is FOR YOU. FOR YOUR PEOPLE. For YOUR COUNTRY. If you don’t want to sign for it, then be it, but don’t expect one dime” And he left it at that. But while HUBBY was recalling the story to me, he was fuming. No, fuming is an understatement. He was appalled and disgusted and vowed that he will bring this man down.
I tried calming him down, and told him, to let it go, and NOT do anything stupid. Afterall he is in a country that’s governed by the law of the jungle. If he does try doing anything and telling anyone, that DG, will definitely try and harm him. But HUBBY wouldn’t have it. He went on by saying how hard people work to try and lend a hand to these people, yet in the end, they get ungrateful grunts. He finally is reaching the point that I have reached. He finally is realizing, that the dream of “Taking part in Iraq’s reconstruction” does no longer have a sweet taste. Infact, it leaves bitterness in your mouth.
Had McCain won, that same comfort cushion would have still been there for the ignorant govt we have. Don’t you see it? But I guess since you are too blinded by the hatred you have towards change, you will be too blind to see what a catastrophe McCain would have been for Iraq. Im gonna keep it at that. And hey thanks again for adding a smile to my face this Friday morning. Oh and by the way, since you are soooooo interested in my shoe state, I bought a whole new shoe rack. Thanks for asking. And Im so chuffed that you have dedicated one whole post on me. :)
Anyhow, I still have that after glow. That amazing after glow, from the results of YOUR people voting. Yeah my face is glowing believe it or not. Its glowing that glow. The Obama Change Glow…
November 05, 2008
The Obama Era...
Change, change, change. Change is on its way. Change to the vicious Bush administration. The Bush administration that lied, tricked, conned the world, and most of all conned the Iraqis.
Today is a different day. A brighter day. A brighter day for everyone who wanted and believed in change. For me, this is not just about history, this is about someone who was able to bring down the very people that broke my country. It’s a great punch to the very people that destroyed the individual Iraqi. And that to me is an enough victory.
I will only have to say to Mr Obama, don’t let us down. You came thus far, and as an Iraqi Im depending on you. Don’t let dirty politics break your promises. There are a few Iraqis who I have asked whether they’re happy at the outcome. Surprisingly, I heard tones filled with fear, fear and confusion. “Whats gonna happen to us, Neurotica?” They asked. “Will America leave us? What will happen to Iraq”
I didn’t really reply, all I said was “Change is on its way”. “Bad change or good change?” They asked. “Inshallah a good one” I said and left it at that. As for the males in my family, too bad your man didn’t win! Although its strange, its strange because we all want peace for Iraq, we all want the same end, a happy ending, yet the means is different. And for me Obama is the means. The perfect Means that justifies the end. Yes this time it does justify the end.
I learnt a few lessons in life, and that is to never ever over expect things from individuals, but in this instance I am. I am expecting many things from Obama. And disappointment is NOT one of them. As for all the red neck extremists out there, for all you people who cannot fathom how a black American can be your president, Tough luck. Live with it.
I wonder how the Iraqi government reacted to the news. Must be a blow to them. A great blow. Yaaaaaaaaaaay. Yeah about time. About time, for five years they got what they wanted. They got what they wanted on the Iraqi individual’s account. They preyed on my people. They tore them apart. For five years they slept soundly knowing that Bush is there. Bush is there to protect these vultures. But change is on its way. I pray to god, I pray that Obama will have the balls to say NO to them. NO and ENOUGH.
It’s a beautiful clear sky today. A BLUE sky. The start of a new era. The Obama Era…
November 03, 2008
As for those who still think and believe in the red, then Im sorry to say, that even though red is the colour of fire, the colour of vibrancy, hell I even painted my own study room red, all it actually symbolizes in reality is BLOOD. So enough red. We have had enough of BLOOD. And lets give a chance to the blue. Yeah I like blue. It symbolizes tranquility. It symbolizes, PEACE.
Like with any issue, even as a family, my family, there are different opinions, different outlooks. If I look at it from a statistic point of view, all of us females are with Obama. And that’s a fact that I have just realized while writing this post. As for the males in the family, majority are with McCain. Strange isn’t it? I guess its because us women think more with our emotions. And emotions kinda takes precedence right now.
Wonder what will it be? Red for more BLOOD and delusional Dreams? or Blue for TRANQUILITY? Invisible Tranquility…
November 01, 2008
La vie d'une femme névrotique...
Woke up next morning about noon. Its Friday, not much work going on in Baghdad. I checked a few emails then went and slouched down on the sofa. I saw a missed call from HUBBY, called him back, and as usual, his reply was “Cant talk to you right now, Im in the middle of a site check”. Oh but ofcourse, why aren’t I surprised. His mistress always takes precedence over me. I hung up feeling more down than ever. I continued searching for something worthwhile to watch on TV until I came upon an old Arabic Movie. I love old movies, the hero always ended up with his heroine. Yeah very la la landish kinda thing.
As I immersed myself in the movie, I realized I was extremely hungry. But as lazy as I was, I didn’t even want to make the few steps to the kitchen. I looked around and saw a bag of crisps I had opened the night before. I took it and started munching the remaining contents.
After about 30 minutes, I hear a key being turned in the front door. I didn’t move one bit. I just sat there. Hmmm, who can it be? My mom and my brother are the only ones who have the keys to my place. Why would they come here without telling me? But again I didn’t even flinch. I just sat there waiting. The door made that squeaky sound and was opened. A few seconds later, I see someone who resembled HUBBY standing right there infront of me!!! OMG!!!
I jumped with joy. I ran to him then I realized, shit, my legs havent been waxed for ages!!!I immediately covered myself with a blanket and looked at him sheepishly. "HUBBBBBBBBBBBBY!!!", I screamed. What a nice sight for sore eyes. I hugged him so hard I nearly strangled him. He tried to unwrap the blankie, and I tried to keep it on. It was like a competition, who would succeed in keeping the blanket. “What are you hiding?” he kept asking. “Umm nothing, Im not hiding anything” Take it off he said. No No, please HUBBY. I didn’t know you were coming. He eyed me suspiciously and said “Hmm, ok, shall I leave?” he was turning towards the door. "Nooo Noooo, I just didn’t expect you. I was angry with you".
“Its all part of the surprise” He said smiling, happy with himself that his plan succeeded. Show me Neurotica, show me what you are hiding, he insisted. And why didn’t you come and see who is at the door? What if it was a thief? And why havent you locked the door? You usually do. HUBBY, I was upset. I didn’t bother doing anything yesterday after the accident. I just got into the apartment, threw my bag and keys on the floor and just zombied out.
Come here, give me a kiss he says. I smiled. Wow, I missed him so much. But there are things to be taken care of first. I need to go I said. Where? He asked surprised. Umm I need to take a shower. I have to take a shower. You don’t want to kiss a dirty woman do you? He smiled and said “Oh I don’t care, come here you” I wriggled from his embrace, tucking really hard on my blankie and ran.
I ran to the bathroom, and although I hate shaving, I had no other choice. I shaved my legs in no time and appeared infront of HUBBY nice and clean. WHATS THAT he shouted with a look of horror on his face. I looked down and I can see blood seeping from my ankle. Ooooops, my secret is out. I laughed so much and said, Umm I guess I cut myself shaving. The cat is out of its bag. Theres nothing I can do.
My happiness didn’t really last though. He got a phone call from Iraq asking him to be back immediately. I couldn’t believe it, nor did he. But he had to go. His mistress is going through a major milestone and he had to be there. He tried postponing, but it was now or never. So you can imagine us rushing trying to find flights out. Its Friday and not a single agent is open. I made a few phone calls, he made a few calls, my dad made some too and so did my brother. It took us the whole afternoon and evening trying to figure a way to Iraq. Until my dad managed to speak to someone who said that HUBBY should be in Dubai airport by 5 am.
And that my friends was the sour end to my Friday. HUBBY took a cab at 330am to Dubai and off he went to be on his mistress’s side in her hour of need. Shaving or no shaving, it didn’t make a difference :( Yeah this is the famous life of me. Im not gonna complain, I atleast managed to see him for a few hours and that to me just made my day. “How come you aren’t upset that I have to leave? How come you aren’t being bitchy with me?” He asked shocked at my calm demeanor. I smiled and said “HUBBY, why spoil the short time we have together? Besides, me being bitchy wont change the fact that work is work”. Yeah I too was taken aback with my calm attitude. But c’est la vie. La vie d'une femme névrotique...