neurotic Iraqi wife
November 25, 2008
The HUBBY Countdown...
Wow, didn’t realize its been that long since I have last posted. I guess when you’re having so much fun, you don’t really take note of the time. It was so wonderful having HUBBY around. I loved every minute of it. I finally tasted the real meaning of being a wife. A real wife. For 2 weeks I was no longer a single wife. No longer lonely.
I cooked, washed, cleaned. And loved every second. I felt like a real couple, doing real things together. Before he actually came here, I wasn’t feeling well. I had passed out in the Doctor’s office after having been subjected to routine blood tests 2 days consecutively. I guess being petite and already possessing a phobia from needles, played a big role. I remember waking up finding myself drenched in water. I looked and saw worried faces staring at me. I didn’t know what had happened until the nurse told me.
I was shaken. I cant even remember the last time I fainted. I tried getting up from the bed, but my knees felt shaky and I couldn’t move. I waited for about half an hour until I was able to get up. I just wanted to leave that place. Leave and never see it AGAIN. I HATE NEEDLES! I don’t even know how I ended up in my parents house. I didn’t want them to know what happened, so I just pretended all is good. But the minute I left them, I cried. I cried like no tomorrow. I was scared. Scared that my body gave up on me. Scared that there was a part of me I actually couldn’t control. I felt weak.
I called HUBBY who was in Iraq at the time and he calmed me down and told me that everything is ok, and that I shouldn’t really get worried. People faint, it happens. Especially people who don’t eat much and are scared from needles, like me. I felt much better after our conversation. A few days later, he was right by my side. And this time it wasn’t just for a few hours. This time it was longer, much longer. Although it wasn’t as long as I desired, it was still great.
We had worked a routine so we can both work AND have fun. We would wake up early every day, work for a few hours, cook lunch, go back to work, then go out in the afternoon. It was relaxing. Relaxing and mellow. We both respected each other’s time. Shockingly, I didn’t nag much. I was surprised at my own behavior. What happened? What happened to the neurotic wife that I was? Where did she go? Id enter the study and see empty coke cans upon coke cans littering the table, together with ashtrays filled to the top with cig butts. If this was me before, Id be uncontrollable with me complaining and nagging him to clean up. But now, now it was simple. I would just toss everything in the trash myself, without uttering a word.
If he wanted to cook or assist me, I never said no. Previously, I would have panic attacks the minute he enters the kitchen. LOL. Simply because I knew that the shiny clean kitchen would end up something like a scene from a war zone. But this time, this time I didn’t care. I just wanted HUBBY to be happy. Happy being with me.
I cant stand wet floors. Infact I go crazy if the bathroom floor is drenched with water. Or maybe I should say, I USED to go crazy. Im a very precise washer. I pull the shower curtains so tight so as not to have a single water drop on the floor. HUBBY on the other hand, doesn’t really care. “It’s the bathroom, it has to get wet”, he usually says when I used to nag him. But now, now I don’t complain. You know why? Cause by some miracle, he became careful and made sure the curtain is pulled well. LOL.
I guess learning each other’s perks comes with time, time and actually living together. Yeah time did pass by fast. It usually does when you are having so much fun. And fun, it definitely was. But now, now he is gone again. Gone back to his mistress. The mistress that I’d love to hate. And Im back. Back to being a single wife :(
As for the political situation in Iraq, Im not moved by it at all. The SOFA is going to be passed in parliament whether the Sadrists are against it or not. But Muqtada’s threats should be taken seriously. Maliki should put a stop to this crazy man. Just yesterday another poor disabled woman was strapped with explosives infront of the GZ gate. This probably is Al Qaeda’s doing. Using humans like that is just beyond me. Hell is definitely their destiny. I seriously cannot fathom how can these people utter Allah’s name on their tongues. I seriously cant. Disgusted is an understatement. That’s all Im gonna say on that subject, because honestly, I don’t want to fume. Not right now, anyways.
Did I ever mention that I finally received pictures of my orphans? I was so over the moon when Generation Iraq sent me an email with photos of the children. Although my heart did get constricted for a few seconds. How many more are out there? How many more have no homes and are left fending for themselves? Even though I never gave birth to these kids, I love them as my own. Maybe one day I will get to meet them in person. As for now, I have started my countdown again, Yaaaaaaaaaaay. The HUBBY countdown...
I cooked, washed, cleaned. And loved every second. I felt like a real couple, doing real things together. Before he actually came here, I wasn’t feeling well. I had passed out in the Doctor’s office after having been subjected to routine blood tests 2 days consecutively. I guess being petite and already possessing a phobia from needles, played a big role. I remember waking up finding myself drenched in water. I looked and saw worried faces staring at me. I didn’t know what had happened until the nurse told me.
I was shaken. I cant even remember the last time I fainted. I tried getting up from the bed, but my knees felt shaky and I couldn’t move. I waited for about half an hour until I was able to get up. I just wanted to leave that place. Leave and never see it AGAIN. I HATE NEEDLES! I don’t even know how I ended up in my parents house. I didn’t want them to know what happened, so I just pretended all is good. But the minute I left them, I cried. I cried like no tomorrow. I was scared. Scared that my body gave up on me. Scared that there was a part of me I actually couldn’t control. I felt weak.
I called HUBBY who was in Iraq at the time and he calmed me down and told me that everything is ok, and that I shouldn’t really get worried. People faint, it happens. Especially people who don’t eat much and are scared from needles, like me. I felt much better after our conversation. A few days later, he was right by my side. And this time it wasn’t just for a few hours. This time it was longer, much longer. Although it wasn’t as long as I desired, it was still great.
We had worked a routine so we can both work AND have fun. We would wake up early every day, work for a few hours, cook lunch, go back to work, then go out in the afternoon. It was relaxing. Relaxing and mellow. We both respected each other’s time. Shockingly, I didn’t nag much. I was surprised at my own behavior. What happened? What happened to the neurotic wife that I was? Where did she go? Id enter the study and see empty coke cans upon coke cans littering the table, together with ashtrays filled to the top with cig butts. If this was me before, Id be uncontrollable with me complaining and nagging him to clean up. But now, now it was simple. I would just toss everything in the trash myself, without uttering a word.
If he wanted to cook or assist me, I never said no. Previously, I would have panic attacks the minute he enters the kitchen. LOL. Simply because I knew that the shiny clean kitchen would end up something like a scene from a war zone. But this time, this time I didn’t care. I just wanted HUBBY to be happy. Happy being with me.
I cant stand wet floors. Infact I go crazy if the bathroom floor is drenched with water. Or maybe I should say, I USED to go crazy. Im a very precise washer. I pull the shower curtains so tight so as not to have a single water drop on the floor. HUBBY on the other hand, doesn’t really care. “It’s the bathroom, it has to get wet”, he usually says when I used to nag him. But now, now I don’t complain. You know why? Cause by some miracle, he became careful and made sure the curtain is pulled well. LOL.
I guess learning each other’s perks comes with time, time and actually living together. Yeah time did pass by fast. It usually does when you are having so much fun. And fun, it definitely was. But now, now he is gone again. Gone back to his mistress. The mistress that I’d love to hate. And Im back. Back to being a single wife :(
As for the political situation in Iraq, Im not moved by it at all. The SOFA is going to be passed in parliament whether the Sadrists are against it or not. But Muqtada’s threats should be taken seriously. Maliki should put a stop to this crazy man. Just yesterday another poor disabled woman was strapped with explosives infront of the GZ gate. This probably is Al Qaeda’s doing. Using humans like that is just beyond me. Hell is definitely their destiny. I seriously cannot fathom how can these people utter Allah’s name on their tongues. I seriously cant. Disgusted is an understatement. That’s all Im gonna say on that subject, because honestly, I don’t want to fume. Not right now, anyways.
Did I ever mention that I finally received pictures of my orphans? I was so over the moon when Generation Iraq sent me an email with photos of the children. Although my heart did get constricted for a few seconds. How many more are out there? How many more have no homes and are left fending for themselves? Even though I never gave birth to these kids, I love them as my own. Maybe one day I will get to meet them in person. As for now, I have started my countdown again, Yaaaaaaaaaaay. The HUBBY countdown...
9 Comments:
; ) If I was him I'd have probabaly checked your ID to see if I'd come home to the right wife!!!(hehehe) Try to take better care of yourself NIW. You don't have to eat a lot, just eat well. I don't eat much either so I always concentrate on the best fuel not the best flavor. Lots of love to those orphans. Solo
As perfectionist and a little bit of a control freak myself, I think you might be suffering from the same ailment, and not be neurotic at all. Does it bug you when Hubby uses the wrong knife to cut something in the kitchen?
Maybe your time in Iraq has taught you that there are more important things than if water gets on the bathroom floor. Or that they grout the bathrooms for a reason, because they are going to get wet.
Or, you are beginning to allow love. WH
Neurontica-
So glad to see that you are well and blogging again. For years I was a military wife and I felt very much like you when he would come home to me. It was so wonderful to have him near me that there was nothing he could do that would annoy me. I felt so fortunate to have him alive, that all else was insignificant.
I've enjoyed reading about you and your life there. I am now a single mother of three children and raise them alone. Yet, I've been fortunate to have a challenging full time job. Ah my three year old comes down the stairs with sleeping eyes holding her favorite pillow. It is my favorite part of the day, where I take five minutes to myself.
This past year I had the luxury of falling in love with a beautiful man that is also away from me in your country. I enjoyed so much cooking and cleaning for him and adoring him.
Now I sit hollow, wondering if I will ever see him again. I'm inspired by your independence and strength and for the pure love that you feel for your HUBBY.
Worlds apart our actions and feelings are very much the same. So many things that you have said have reminded me of myself, while I wonder if my LOVER will ever return from serving his MISTRESS. I too wonder why he would chose to be there instead of home with me and my children.
Grateful to hear of your perspective and I agree with others that you should write a book.
Neurotic American Wife...
Hi N
ur posts are always different, always some which have a contrast from much brighter side to the dark side ( i mean from happiness to sadness or vice versa ).
in the start it was happiness bcz ur hubby's there with u . but then the situation in iraq and the orphans once again take a person to the same stress.
With Prayers for everyones happy life.
Hello,
Do you, by any chance, happen to know who Secret Dubai (the blogger:
secretdubai.blogspot.com) is?
http://whoissecretdubai.blogspot.com/
Iraqi Wife,
Good to hear from you. I am glad you had some enjoyable times.
Regarding your fainting, did you drink enough water that day? Maybe you were dehydrated; I think it can lower your blood pressure.
Also, I am wondering if you are seeing any downturn in the economy in the middle east? Things are getting worse here in the USA. People are losing their jobs and their homes. Sales are down at my company. Banks are in trouble. House prices are falling. Some newly built homes are left empty or not finished construction. Several large retail chain stores are going bankrupt.
o.jeff
Thanks Solo. Actually HUBBY did ask me this "How come you are so nice to me?" Lol. I just laughed and said, Im always nice, but I guess I just want you to be happy and NOT GO BACK. Needless to say that didnt happen
WH, yes I am a bit of a perfectionist, or try to be. Im very particular about many things, especially when it comes to cleanliness and tidyness. HUBBY on the other hand can care less, which used to drive me up the wall. But I guess, as you said, my time in Iraq did change alot of things in me. ALOT. And I loved your last statement, allow love. Maybe that too has abit of truth.
NAW, yaaaaaaaaay, I guess Im not the only one who is neurotic then, lol. A single mom of 3, that must be really tough. Im glad you found love again. How long does he have more on his tour?
Neurotic Soul, yeah I know. I was really happy when I was writing then all of a sudden I remembered Iraq, and I became angry. Im sorry
Who, I commented on your blog.
Ojeff, I dunno if that was it. But I have a real phobia from needles, I mean I just lose it. And to top it all of, that same clinic called me up that evening asking me to redo the test again, because the sample I gave them was not testable!!!They said the blood clotted!!!My blood always clots when Im stressed. But I refused, and said Im levaing the country, Im definitely not going back there!!!
As for the financial crisis, yes it is also apparant here in the Emirates. With all the property boom last year and beginning of this year here, people now are beginning to sell whatever they bought because they cannot pay up the loans they have taken out. Infact many banks have now stopped giving finances and loans like before. People are scared. Even the malls, I was surprised one day when one of the busiest malls here was in a way empty. People are being extremely careful. They are scared. As for the UAE stockmarkets, both Dubai's and Abu Dhabi's indexes have been in the red for the past god knows how long. Its tough everywhere. Oh, my bestfriend's husband works in a bank, and he told me, that he has been receiving CV's upon CV's from ex bankers in the States and UK who have lost their jobs.
Neurotica,
He has only been gone a little over a month now. His tour is to last for a year, but things always seem to change. As he began to distance himself during training, he began to say silly things like perhaps he would volunteer to be away for three years and put his language skills to use. I was aware of his upper ranking position, but not of his language....until he said goodbye.
Neurotic American Wife.
NIW
I always look for your posts eagerly, I like what you write a lot and I wish if you would write a book, I wish you all the happiness in the world for u and ur hubby.
Iraqi girl
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