neurotic Iraqi wife
November 01, 2008
La vie d'une femme névrotique...
After Thursday’s fiasco with the accident, I wasn’t really upto doing anything. I felt like a zombie with all energy drained from me. I was even more upset because of HUBBY’s lack of empathy. I skyped him and told him what happened, thinking he would atleast call me. But no, he never did. All he typed on skype was, "its ok habeebty, don’t get upset, these things happen. If I was there, I would have taught that guy a lesson". But no phonecall to calm me down, which added to my disdain.
Woke up next morning about noon. Its Friday, not much work going on in Baghdad. I checked a few emails then went and slouched down on the sofa. I saw a missed call from HUBBY, called him back, and as usual, his reply was “Cant talk to you right now, Im in the middle of a site check”. Oh but ofcourse, why aren’t I surprised. His mistress always takes precedence over me. I hung up feeling more down than ever. I continued searching for something worthwhile to watch on TV until I came upon an old Arabic Movie. I love old movies, the hero always ended up with his heroine. Yeah very la la landish kinda thing.
As I immersed myself in the movie, I realized I was extremely hungry. But as lazy as I was, I didn’t even want to make the few steps to the kitchen. I looked around and saw a bag of crisps I had opened the night before. I took it and started munching the remaining contents.
After about 30 minutes, I hear a key being turned in the front door. I didn’t move one bit. I just sat there. Hmmm, who can it be? My mom and my brother are the only ones who have the keys to my place. Why would they come here without telling me? But again I didn’t even flinch. I just sat there waiting. The door made that squeaky sound and was opened. A few seconds later, I see someone who resembled HUBBY standing right there infront of me!!! OMG!!!
I jumped with joy. I ran to him then I realized, shit, my legs havent been waxed for ages!!!I immediately covered myself with a blanket and looked at him sheepishly. "HUBBBBBBBBBBBBY!!!", I screamed. What a nice sight for sore eyes. I hugged him so hard I nearly strangled him. He tried to unwrap the blankie, and I tried to keep it on. It was like a competition, who would succeed in keeping the blanket. “What are you hiding?” he kept asking. “Umm nothing, Im not hiding anything” Take it off he said. No No, please HUBBY. I didn’t know you were coming. He eyed me suspiciously and said “Hmm, ok, shall I leave?” he was turning towards the door. "Nooo Noooo, I just didn’t expect you. I was angry with you".
“Its all part of the surprise” He said smiling, happy with himself that his plan succeeded. Show me Neurotica, show me what you are hiding, he insisted. And why didn’t you come and see who is at the door? What if it was a thief? And why havent you locked the door? You usually do. HUBBY, I was upset. I didn’t bother doing anything yesterday after the accident. I just got into the apartment, threw my bag and keys on the floor and just zombied out.
Come here, give me a kiss he says. I smiled. Wow, I missed him so much. But there are things to be taken care of first. I need to go I said. Where? He asked surprised. Umm I need to take a shower. I have to take a shower. You don’t want to kiss a dirty woman do you? He smiled and said “Oh I don’t care, come here you” I wriggled from his embrace, tucking really hard on my blankie and ran.
I ran to the bathroom, and although I hate shaving, I had no other choice. I shaved my legs in no time and appeared infront of HUBBY nice and clean. WHATS THAT he shouted with a look of horror on his face. I looked down and I can see blood seeping from my ankle. Ooooops, my secret is out. I laughed so much and said, Umm I guess I cut myself shaving. The cat is out of its bag. Theres nothing I can do.
My happiness didn’t really last though. He got a phone call from Iraq asking him to be back immediately. I couldn’t believe it, nor did he. But he had to go. His mistress is going through a major milestone and he had to be there. He tried postponing, but it was now or never. So you can imagine us rushing trying to find flights out. Its Friday and not a single agent is open. I made a few phone calls, he made a few calls, my dad made some too and so did my brother. It took us the whole afternoon and evening trying to figure a way to Iraq. Until my dad managed to speak to someone who said that HUBBY should be in Dubai airport by 5 am.
And that my friends was the sour end to my Friday. HUBBY took a cab at 330am to Dubai and off he went to be on his mistress’s side in her hour of need. Shaving or no shaving, it didn’t make a difference :( Yeah this is the famous life of me. Im not gonna complain, I atleast managed to see him for a few hours and that to me just made my day. “How come you aren’t upset that I have to leave? How come you aren’t being bitchy with me?” He asked shocked at my calm demeanor. I smiled and said “HUBBY, why spoil the short time we have together? Besides, me being bitchy wont change the fact that work is work”. Yeah I too was taken aback with my calm attitude. But c’est la vie. La vie d'une femme névrotique...
Woke up next morning about noon. Its Friday, not much work going on in Baghdad. I checked a few emails then went and slouched down on the sofa. I saw a missed call from HUBBY, called him back, and as usual, his reply was “Cant talk to you right now, Im in the middle of a site check”. Oh but ofcourse, why aren’t I surprised. His mistress always takes precedence over me. I hung up feeling more down than ever. I continued searching for something worthwhile to watch on TV until I came upon an old Arabic Movie. I love old movies, the hero always ended up with his heroine. Yeah very la la landish kinda thing.
As I immersed myself in the movie, I realized I was extremely hungry. But as lazy as I was, I didn’t even want to make the few steps to the kitchen. I looked around and saw a bag of crisps I had opened the night before. I took it and started munching the remaining contents.
After about 30 minutes, I hear a key being turned in the front door. I didn’t move one bit. I just sat there. Hmmm, who can it be? My mom and my brother are the only ones who have the keys to my place. Why would they come here without telling me? But again I didn’t even flinch. I just sat there waiting. The door made that squeaky sound and was opened. A few seconds later, I see someone who resembled HUBBY standing right there infront of me!!! OMG!!!
I jumped with joy. I ran to him then I realized, shit, my legs havent been waxed for ages!!!I immediately covered myself with a blanket and looked at him sheepishly. "HUBBBBBBBBBBBBY!!!", I screamed. What a nice sight for sore eyes. I hugged him so hard I nearly strangled him. He tried to unwrap the blankie, and I tried to keep it on. It was like a competition, who would succeed in keeping the blanket. “What are you hiding?” he kept asking. “Umm nothing, Im not hiding anything” Take it off he said. No No, please HUBBY. I didn’t know you were coming. He eyed me suspiciously and said “Hmm, ok, shall I leave?” he was turning towards the door. "Nooo Noooo, I just didn’t expect you. I was angry with you".
“Its all part of the surprise” He said smiling, happy with himself that his plan succeeded. Show me Neurotica, show me what you are hiding, he insisted. And why didn’t you come and see who is at the door? What if it was a thief? And why havent you locked the door? You usually do. HUBBY, I was upset. I didn’t bother doing anything yesterday after the accident. I just got into the apartment, threw my bag and keys on the floor and just zombied out.
Come here, give me a kiss he says. I smiled. Wow, I missed him so much. But there are things to be taken care of first. I need to go I said. Where? He asked surprised. Umm I need to take a shower. I have to take a shower. You don’t want to kiss a dirty woman do you? He smiled and said “Oh I don’t care, come here you” I wriggled from his embrace, tucking really hard on my blankie and ran.
I ran to the bathroom, and although I hate shaving, I had no other choice. I shaved my legs in no time and appeared infront of HUBBY nice and clean. WHATS THAT he shouted with a look of horror on his face. I looked down and I can see blood seeping from my ankle. Ooooops, my secret is out. I laughed so much and said, Umm I guess I cut myself shaving. The cat is out of its bag. Theres nothing I can do.
My happiness didn’t really last though. He got a phone call from Iraq asking him to be back immediately. I couldn’t believe it, nor did he. But he had to go. His mistress is going through a major milestone and he had to be there. He tried postponing, but it was now or never. So you can imagine us rushing trying to find flights out. Its Friday and not a single agent is open. I made a few phone calls, he made a few calls, my dad made some too and so did my brother. It took us the whole afternoon and evening trying to figure a way to Iraq. Until my dad managed to speak to someone who said that HUBBY should be in Dubai airport by 5 am.
And that my friends was the sour end to my Friday. HUBBY took a cab at 330am to Dubai and off he went to be on his mistress’s side in her hour of need. Shaving or no shaving, it didn’t make a difference :( Yeah this is the famous life of me. Im not gonna complain, I atleast managed to see him for a few hours and that to me just made my day. “How come you aren’t upset that I have to leave? How come you aren’t being bitchy with me?” He asked shocked at my calm demeanor. I smiled and said “HUBBY, why spoil the short time we have together? Besides, me being bitchy wont change the fact that work is work”. Yeah I too was taken aback with my calm attitude. But c’est la vie. La vie d'une femme névrotique...
11 Comments:
HELLO NEUROTICA LUV, JUST COMMENTED ON YOUR PREVIOUS REGRETTABLE INCIDENT TO A PROBABLY HALF AXIS OF EVIL IRANIEN EMMIRAATI AS YOUKNOW MANY ARE INTERMARRIED & HAVE THEIR LOYALTIES THERE RATHER THAN HERE MUCH LIKE THE SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS IN IRAQ!!!C,EST LA VIE & YOUR HUBBY RETURNING BACK TO THAT SORRY STATE OF AFFAIRS IN A NATION THAT HAS TO SORT OUT IT,S HAY FROM THE LOCAL HARVEST!!!!!& EXTERMINATE THE AXIS OF EVIL IS BUT A LONG HARD CHORE OF TEDIOUS TASK THAT MAY HAVE A GRAIN OF TRUTH IN OUR OLD PRIME MINISTER ,S SAYING MR.CHURCHILL "BLOOD SWEAT &TEARS"SO ALL THE VERY BEST OF GREETINGS DARLING &GOOD LUCK TO HUBBY CHEERS WWW.BFBS.COM OLAFF:)
Reading your post, I was so happy for you, that I got chicken skin and then the end of the story made me a bit sad......BUT think positive, dear neurotica:"it's better than nothing" I lived this nightmare for more than 1 year(seeing eachother on skipe)
Commercial origination of cleanliness started in Europe with prostitution. They sold sex in a war zone. We All see shaved females as ordinate to dominance. The mass marketing of our poor, huddled masses. Modular brain chemistry as manageable sense circuitry. A razors edge secured the regimental breeding identities of our wealthiest classes. Instant Aryan race. The founding threats of disease. Unfortunate circumstances are the crimes we transform into freedoms. You cannot chew the hair off of your legs. It's like you have to drive to the CDC to purchase a Razor. You are already predisposed to behave as a prostitute. You understand your attachment to your razor condemns you. You can't drive down the highway without being smooshed. Do you want all the American husbands entering their homes through the bedroom window? You couldn't diffuse the situation with the accident prone? Especially after the fact. When we are really effective capitalist's we will dehumanize a person. Pro rate your razor addiction.
Example, "My family is Blond, body hair enhances their beauty".
"Like I give a fuck I just want more knives around the house."
Do you have to be Blond and hairless to be in love? Do you have to live a life of danger. Does your husband have to weigh out the pros and cons of 13th century prostitution every time his brain calculator enriches you with the dire mechanism that compels your existence?
Hi NIW,
I am very upset about you were going through, who the hell he thinks that driver is?? And I am very sorry for the accident, are you both OK?
Well that is what we call: Ya far7a ma tammat...when you saw Hubby for hours :(
Well i guess that gave you a kick on the b**t in order to be always ready regarding waxed legs :D
NIW,
I'm so sorry Hubby had to turn right around and leave again! But, that doesn't take away from how sweet and loving he was in his effort to surprise you! Maybe you didn't get upset, because you realized his true motive and intent was far more important than the unexpected outcome. I feel bad for you, understanding that you were disappointed. But, I feel worse for Hubby. He's the one who had to go back, when he was looking forward to spending time with you.
I don't even know what to say about the accident, except what an extremely rude, and totally unnecessary event! Sounds like a couple of immature boys trying to get the attention of 2 pretty girls by showing off - only his driving skills suck and he actually hit your car.
How about living in a less populated, less congested area? Are there houses outside the madness of the city, with a little more space and maybe a pool, where your family and friends could come to relax and spend time with you? Your personal oasis.
Bamboo
You're a really good writer. You should write a novel sometime.
Yes Olaff Iraq has to sort out the mess. Will they ever succeed? Dunno
SeaLife, Lol...I have been living like this for almost all my marriage. Thank god for technology, or else I would have lost whatever sanity I have left.
Ughhh MM, dont let me start! He was an assole! I still cant get over it. I can still feel my anger towards him. And yes far7a ma tammat, thats exactly what I told myself. As for my legs, lol, I knoooooooooow, I should never leave them like that. And it was funny, cuz I was thinking to myself, its really high time to wax them, but HUBBY surprised me ;)
Bamboo, long time! hope all is well with you. Yeah I felt really bad for him. He hasnt slept for 2 days, and he came here to relax, but I guess he wasnt lucky enough. So you are right, he made all the effort to please me. As for the accident, he hit the car on purpose. I still have his number plate engraved in my head, cuz when he was doing a runner, I immediately took note of it. Ahhhhh wish I can punch him where it hurts!!!
Perkunas, naaaaah, I just say it as it is. Doubt a novel will work that way, but thanks for your kind words ;)
Well NIW, I hope things work out better next time when your husband can get home. A-hole drivers....we could months of posts on that, but there's not much that can be done when someone's driving with a bad case of cranialanalitis(head up the butt syndrome). ;D Solo
NEUROTICA LUV,IF OUR ALLIED FORCES ASSIST THERE MAY MORE OF A CHANCE IN SORTING OUT THE MESS 7our allied forces have a slightly more of a chance in kicking the axis of evil iran out of there @MAYBE THE REGION ASA WHOLE !!!!ALRIGHT DARLING ALL THE VERY BEST OF GREETINGS &KINDEST REGARDS WWW.BFBS.COM OLAFF:)
i live in US//iam half lebanese and i want you to know that all americans are not alike. i want you to know that..i am not always proud of US/in fact for the past 8 years i have felt like i wanted to leave the US
The market of the Dubai real estate will recover in 2011 after a fall of the prices this year. It's may be the condition of Low Prices Dubai Property untill 2011.
Even Dubai and Abu Dhabi The Top City for the right now, but in 2009 will be the year of the reduction for Dubai Property, 2010 will be probably a year of stabilization, and in the 2011 we believe that the re-establishment will occur.
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