neurotic Iraqi wife
March 07, 2010
The Blissful Eternal Journey...
To the Star that lit my skies
To the breeze that cooled me down
To my dearest beautiful Baba
As I walked on that desert sand passing by the numbers, the numbers that identify those who left this world, I saw you. I saw your name on that plaque, and the tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldnt help it baba. I really couldnt. How can it be, "Il marhoom ......"The words sent chills down my spine. I sat down on the bench, staring at your resting place. Read the Fat ha on your soul, and out of the blue a sudden serenity overcame me. I began to smile. Smile for I remembered a joke we shared together. Maybe it was you talking to me, telling me not to despair. Yes I finally managed to get away from my boys to get to see you. Im sorry I havent visited you in so so long, I hope you can forgive me.
Baba, the day you have been looking forward to finally came. The elections were today. And yes I know you are going to be upset with me, for I refused to go. Im sorry, but there is no one that I believe can bring a better life to the Iraqis. All the promises that these people claim to bring to Iraq are false. They entered the election race to satisfy their own egos. Their own egos and their own needs. I gave my voice a few years ago, but it was never heard. I lifted my purpe finger with pride, but it got broken. I had hopes, and big dreams, but now, now I no longer dream of a better Iraq. I may hope for a better Iraq, not for my sake, but for the Iraqi people's sake, but to dream it?No. I cant.
Yes Baba, I know you dont agree with me. I know that you always had hope. BIG hope. And thats what makes you a great man. You never give up. Even on your hospital bed, a few days before you were gone, you were so upset and angry by the bombings that took place in Baghdad. I was shocked. There we were, worried about you, and yet, you werent worried about yourself, but worried about your countrymen instead. Baba, there is no honest man out there, believe me. Their words stopped meaning anything to me. For I know, I know that the Iraq you have known will never come back. Not now, not in my children's lifetime, not ever. And no, Im not being a pessimist as you used to call me, but a realist.
Many people are calling this a historical moment. What history? Are we gonna call every election a historical moment?Thats something I dont understand. What kind of history are they making. What will my little ones read when they grow up?Iraq, the Shattered Dream? Hundreds of thousands of people are risking their lives because of Hope. And maybe Hope is the only thing they have right now. But for me this is nothing but a repeat of a definite failure. Sorry Baba, I dont want to upset you, but you always told us to speak our minds, and this is exactly whats on my mind.
I spent my day instead sniffing my boys' sweet feet, an addiction that I cant get enough of, for they have such yummy feet Baba. Speaking of the boys, they are growing so fast. I can tell already that they will be cheeky little munchkins. And Baba they are total opposites of each other in every way possible. From looks to behaviour to habbits, it just amazes me how can these two come from the same two people. There is one thing and one thing only they have in common though.
One day as I was playing with one of them, I could tell he was mesmerised by something. I look, and out of all the photos on that table, he was staring at yours. Staring and smiling. The exact same thing happened with his brother.Yes, can you believe it?It took me by a total surprise. So now, whenever they look at you, I say yes, yes this is your Jiddo, your amazing Jiddo. I dont want their first words to be mama or baba or even dada. No, I want their first word to be Jiddo. What do you say?
Offffffff ya baba, how much I miss you. Yella come back, come back, your grandsons are waiting for you. Your grandsons are waiting to hear that deep laughter of yours, are waiting for their Jiddo to play with them. Yella come on, this trip of yours is taking too long. Way too long. Nevertheless I hope youre enjoying the Journey. The Blissful Eternal Journey...
To the breeze that cooled me down
To my dearest beautiful Baba
As I walked on that desert sand passing by the numbers, the numbers that identify those who left this world, I saw you. I saw your name on that plaque, and the tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldnt help it baba. I really couldnt. How can it be, "Il marhoom ......"The words sent chills down my spine. I sat down on the bench, staring at your resting place. Read the Fat ha on your soul, and out of the blue a sudden serenity overcame me. I began to smile. Smile for I remembered a joke we shared together. Maybe it was you talking to me, telling me not to despair. Yes I finally managed to get away from my boys to get to see you. Im sorry I havent visited you in so so long, I hope you can forgive me.
Baba, the day you have been looking forward to finally came. The elections were today. And yes I know you are going to be upset with me, for I refused to go. Im sorry, but there is no one that I believe can bring a better life to the Iraqis. All the promises that these people claim to bring to Iraq are false. They entered the election race to satisfy their own egos. Their own egos and their own needs. I gave my voice a few years ago, but it was never heard. I lifted my purpe finger with pride, but it got broken. I had hopes, and big dreams, but now, now I no longer dream of a better Iraq. I may hope for a better Iraq, not for my sake, but for the Iraqi people's sake, but to dream it?No. I cant.
Yes Baba, I know you dont agree with me. I know that you always had hope. BIG hope. And thats what makes you a great man. You never give up. Even on your hospital bed, a few days before you were gone, you were so upset and angry by the bombings that took place in Baghdad. I was shocked. There we were, worried about you, and yet, you werent worried about yourself, but worried about your countrymen instead. Baba, there is no honest man out there, believe me. Their words stopped meaning anything to me. For I know, I know that the Iraq you have known will never come back. Not now, not in my children's lifetime, not ever. And no, Im not being a pessimist as you used to call me, but a realist.
Many people are calling this a historical moment. What history? Are we gonna call every election a historical moment?Thats something I dont understand. What kind of history are they making. What will my little ones read when they grow up?Iraq, the Shattered Dream? Hundreds of thousands of people are risking their lives because of Hope. And maybe Hope is the only thing they have right now. But for me this is nothing but a repeat of a definite failure. Sorry Baba, I dont want to upset you, but you always told us to speak our minds, and this is exactly whats on my mind.
I spent my day instead sniffing my boys' sweet feet, an addiction that I cant get enough of, for they have such yummy feet Baba. Speaking of the boys, they are growing so fast. I can tell already that they will be cheeky little munchkins. And Baba they are total opposites of each other in every way possible. From looks to behaviour to habbits, it just amazes me how can these two come from the same two people. There is one thing and one thing only they have in common though.
One day as I was playing with one of them, I could tell he was mesmerised by something. I look, and out of all the photos on that table, he was staring at yours. Staring and smiling. The exact same thing happened with his brother.Yes, can you believe it?It took me by a total surprise. So now, whenever they look at you, I say yes, yes this is your Jiddo, your amazing Jiddo. I dont want their first words to be mama or baba or even dada. No, I want their first word to be Jiddo. What do you say?
Offffffff ya baba, how much I miss you. Yella come back, come back, your grandsons are waiting for you. Your grandsons are waiting to hear that deep laughter of yours, are waiting for their Jiddo to play with them. Yella come on, this trip of yours is taking too long. Way too long. Nevertheless I hope youre enjoying the Journey. The Blissful Eternal Journey...
73 Comments:
Nurotica this is a wonderful post. I know that you miss your father but lets hope and pray that he is home with our Lord God.
For some reason I did not know that your sons were here yet. It sounds like you are real happy with them. Please continue to enjoy them and teach them well.
I hope all is going well with you and your hubby.
Neurotica,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
It's been a long time since you've blogged. I'm so happy to hear you have two sons. I hope they are healthy and strong. They have a good mother so they have a good start in life.
Take care,
R1
Your posts moved me to tears...
I'm praying for you and your beautiful twins....((hugs))
oh wow, how can you squeeze so much pain and suffering into your words like that? you have a gift of writing. Allah yer7amo and remember, your papa lives on in the eyes of your children :)
HELLO NEUROTICA;A FATHER;S LOSS CLOSE PARENTS ARE A TERRIBLE LOSS SAME AS MY OWN FATHER GOD REST THEIR SOULS THEY ARE WITH THE LORD.IRAQI ELECTIONS HAVE A CHANCE OF BEING HALF DECENTLY FAIR ONLY!& ONLY IF THEY PORTRAY 100%OF ALLIRAQIS MOSLEMS OF ALL SECTS & CHRISTIANS & OTHER MINORITIES.AYAD ALLAWI:DR ADNAAN AL PACHACHI &THE SHERIF OF THE HASHIMITE ROYAL FAMILY REP PLUS OTHERS ARE AN APPROX PROPORTION TO HALF A DECENT REPRESENTATION;UNFORTUNATELY THE LOP SIDED AXIS OF EVIL INTERFERENCE STOOGES IN THE MALIKI OFFICIALDOME ARE NOTHING MORE OTHER THAN !JUST THAT PUPPETS NOT IN THE INTEREST OF IRAQ & THE PROGRESS THEREOFF!ANY ONE READ THE ARTICLE IN THE DAILY MAIL "&THE BBC" SEARCH ENGINE"ALI DIZAEI" THE EMBODIMENT OF THE INFILTRATION OF AXIS OF EVIL IRANIAN AGENTS INSIDE OUR OWN SCOTLAND YARD WOULD YOU BELIEVE!!GOOD HE IS BEHIND BARS & OUR SIS ARE ONTO THAT IRANIAN LOT BAND OF THUGS FROM LONDON TO ALL ROUND!!STILL HAVE TILL AUTUMN IN THE U.A.E. SOUTH DUBAI & THEN BACK TO OUR "B.F.G." WWW;BFBS;COM" GOD BLESS NEUROTICA & BELIEVE IN THE IRAQ PRE THE 50S THAT HAD BEEN THE REAL ROYAL HASHIMITE TRANSJORDANIAN IRAQ KINGDOME :)
Assalamu alaykum,
yeah lot is happening in the world, and it is sad to see and hear all this.
root cause is the 'the new world order' and how america is doing all this to weak countries,
on the you tube just search for 'noam chomsky your world is a forgery'
its very sad and its not new that all this is going on, i think the world has to look at the bigger picture, just highlighting some wrongs of selected countries in an attempt to distort their image is not correct.
europeans when they invaded america ,slaughtered millions of native americans, and later put them(natives) to test before giving a citizenship of their own country.
so, the people who, invaded the other country and then by power legitimized themselves,that is america, so how can america now go and say it will go around the world liberating countries or people from tyranny, if it is true in what it says, america can prove by giving the power to the natives in america, it was and is their country, if it cant ,which i am sure it wont , then everyone should clearly see the fraud.
The background picture on ur site is not iraq by the way, it is the badshai mosque in lahore,pakistan.
badshai mosque is beautiful, from 1673, historical
Boys, there's an awful lot of gifts I'd like to give you. I'd like to teach you how to make kites, paper airplanes, sling shots,fix your bikes, all kinds of fun stuff. The best gifts are the ones you already carry within you, the ones from your mom, your dad, your grandpa, and others have given you. They'll always be with you and nobody can take it away. I hope we can give you a better world to grow up in. It'll never be perfect, but we have to keep trying. Grow well. Hugs to ya, Solo
TALKING OF IRAQ THE ELECTIONS PRESENTLY; HAS THE POSSIBILITY; OF PUTTING THE COUNTRY ON THE RIGHT FOOTING NAMELY AYAD ALLAWI IS THE RIGHT CANDIDATE ALONGSIDE AN ALL INCLUSIVE GOVT.NOT THIS PREVIOUS MALIKI JOKE OF A AN IRANISAN AXIS OF EVIL PUPPET GOVT. CHECK OUT FACEBOOK AYAD ALLAWI.THE VERY BEST OF MERRY GOOD LUCK FOR A BETTER FUTURE IRAQ WE ARE 100% WITH AYAD ALLAWI "WWW;BFBS;COM" ON LINE CHEERS ONE & ALL
With these children you realize how the environment supports your humans as individuals. You are not imagining this finite structure. Perfection surfaces, beyond all possible limitations. Emotionally detached, crazy people, calculating infinite possibilities. Twins are especially representative of the relationship quality people share. You only have reason for their shelter. Their pain adjusts through you. Their futures will be harder than your past. Human sacrifice will warp their body and mind. These are the adjustments that are foreseeable. Positive motivations naturally select actual human intellects and prepare a world plain enough, we all achieve our strengths.
Hi,
Nice post! Your content is very valuable to me and just make it as my reference.Keep blogging with new post!Unique and useful to follower....
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hi there,
may Allah bless u..
support for truth..
Hi,
Nice post and very informative. thanks for the great sharing.
Cheers
I reached this blog by accident, but I found that has a very interesting content. Good job. A greeting.
That is word come from heart..
Have a nice day,
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Salaam, I am a research scientist trying to understand Iraqi bloggers. I would appreciate your participation by emailing me your responses to leishiraqia[@]gmail.com.
Your blog identity:
Is your blog name the same your true identity? Why?
Do you only blog in English? Why?
Did you blog about the Iraqi elections in 2010? Why?
Thank you very much for participating.
Hoping you are well. Thinking of you often.
Always,
Melanie
UNFORTUNATELY IT HAS COME TO PASS THAT THE ONLY REAL IRAQ FORMULA IS THE ONE & ONLY HASHIMITE KINGDOM OF TRANS JORDAN-IRAQ PRE THE50s THE ELECTIONS UP TO DATE PROVE NOTHING BUT A SECTARIAN PRO AXIS OF EVIL IRANIEN PUPPET GOVT & AGAINST OUR WESTERN ALLIED INTERESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I simply loved the atmosphere you have created here. I may not see eye to eye with you on every issue, but the way you have presented "our Iraqi situation" if you may, is simply wonderful. Please do continue your postings
Best
Mayada Al Askari
Whenever i see the post like your's i feel that there are still helpful people who share information for the help of others, it must be helpful for other's. thanx and good job.
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