Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape neurotic Iraqi wife: October 2008

neurotic Iraqi wife

October 30, 2008

The Fading Pearl of the Emirates...

I was gonna write about Iraq, but I changed my mind after today’s car accident. Yes I was in one, and no, no one was injured. But I need the world to know how contradictory this place is. Advertising freedom and democracy to the whole world. Advertising equality and humanity. Its all Bull. I have many Emarati friends, and I hope they don’t get offended but the truth has to be told because this is getting way out of hand.

I will start with today’s incident. My sister was dropping me off since I refuse taking my car out of the parking space. A four wheel drive car was behind us, RIGHT behind us. I mean stuck to my sister’s car. The whole way she was driving, they didnt keep a distance, and started flashing the headlights, and mind you she wasn’t even on the fast lane. She took a turn, right next to my place, the guy kept flashing her with the headlights. She cant move forward cuz there are cars infront. People usually flash the lights for intimidation, and easily enough, my sister lost her cool and was intimidated. As she was waiting for the car infront of her to move, the 4 wheeler drive passed on her side, skidded, dented her car on the side and moved away! I couldn’t believe it. SHE couldn’t believe it!

I ran out of the car chasing after it, if they think they can get away with it then theyre wrong. I scream at the top of my lungs for him to stop. I called the 999 police number and reported the accident. I approached the car, knocked on the window, not knowing what or who to expect. A young local, in his 20’s, pulls down the window. Looks at me with disgust. I said, why did you do that? Why did you harass us all the way, and then hit the car? He got out of his car, pointed his finger at me and started saying profanities. Every curse word he knows I guess.

Just because he is a local does NOT give him the right! He continued by saying things like, I will smash your face with a rope, I will smash your face to pulp, etc. I stood there shocked. Then I went off “Who the hell you think you are? Just because you are Emarati doesn’t give you the right to treat people like animals. Do you know who you are talking to?” I don’t even know why I said the last statement, but I was angry.

Police arrived, meanwhile I called my bro, cuz sometimes they take advantage if they see women alone. And ofcourse the whole neighbourhood was standing out watching. Atleast we have witnesses. But that wasn’t needed, as it was obvious it was his fault. I could see the police were sniggering with the guys at us. Aaaaaaah how much I wanted to scream, scream and punch their faces! Thank God his insurance will pay for the damages he incurred on my poor sister’s new car. Its her first one, and she always took care of it. It’s the only thing she owns, and worked hard to get.

The Emirates, the land of the free. Yeah right. No one is free unless you are an Emarati. I have seen incidents were Indians were mal treated. Pushed at, insulted, slapped, just because he is an Indian. Spoken down to, just because he is an Indian. There are no human rights here. No one has rights unless you are an Emarati. Im sorry, I do apologize for all the friends that I have, but you have to wake up. Wake up and educate your people. Other people’s lives are not worthless. Be it an Indian, an Iraqi, a Brit, etc.

We are all humans and you have to respect us. You cant just go on like that. Even if this is your land, it’s the Indians, the Pakistanis, the Filipinos, the Palestinians, the Iraqis, the Lebanese, the Brits, the Americans, etc who made it what it is today. Yes your money, but their effort. Even animals have more rights than us here.

No this cant go on. I don’t care anymore. Im fed up. This was considered my home away from home. I grew up here, I went to school here. But now, now I don’t know if I wanna call this home anymore. I dunno if it fits to be my home.

Just 2 days ago I witnessed 2 men fighting for a parking space. One got out and strangled the other. One was Arab and the other a Pakistani. He literally strangled him and punched him! People gathered and tried breaking them out. I saw it from my window and I started screaming. I should have taken a video, but was too worried about the victim. No, this definitely isn’t the place it says it is. Yes it may be paradise relative to other places, but how can you live if you have no rights. How can you survive, if you know, that one day, any day, you can get in trouble with the law because you pissed off a local.

No I will not keep my mouth shut. Not anymore. I know that none of the media here will not talk about anything that happens in this place. I know that the media keeps everything hushhush, because they don’t have the guts, but no I will not be silent. I cant be silent. Im disappointed. Disappointed in the country I grew to love. I grew to admire. I used to use the Emirates as the dream that I want Iraq to be one day. That’s how much I loved it. Its with Sheikh Zayed’s (May he rest in peace) vision and ambition that this place became the pearl of the gulf. I loved that man. I mourned him for weeks upon weeks. And it is unfortunate that his Pearl, my pearl is fading. The Fading Pearl of the Emirates...
posted by neurotic_wife at 6:10 PM 18 comments

October 28, 2008

Inspector General Report

This is a public report by SIGIR about the reconstruction of Iraq. Please read so we can discuss further...
posted by neurotic_wife at 10:04 PM 8 comments

October 25, 2008

The Thundery Baghdadi Weather...

The weather in Baghdad reflected my mood today. Apparently it was thundery and very rainy. Exactly how I felt when I first woke up. It infact surprised me when I received emails from five different people telling me all about it. I found myself laughing, for each one of them had a different style in telling me all about the rain and thunder. Some, just hated it, and only one loved it. It was funny, funny to me, and added a little smile to my somewhat moody attitude.

I havent read much news in the past few days. Ok, Im lying, yes I read and watched news on tv and this security deal is bugging the hell out of me. I was also conversing with HUBBY on skype. Looks like Obama will win, he said. What do you think Neurotica? Wow, I was actually impressed he asked my opinion, for in the past few days he has been pretty sick and not really conversive. I wish Obama wins, I typed. I wish he wins and withdraws all the troops by end of the year. HUBBY was shocked at my answer. How come Neurotica? If the US leaves there will be chaos and Iran will jump in. We cant let that happen.

I Lol’ed so much, for Iran is ALREADY in. The government of Iraq is nothing but Iran’s puppet. “Neighbouring countries should respect the sovereignty of Iraq” is ALL BS. I really really want the troops to leave, and Im serious. Ive said it before. And Im repeating it again. I think the max they should stay if any is beginning of next year. That’s the ultimate maximum.

I want chaos to break. YES. I DO. This is the only solution. The only solution to the current Iraqi govt. They are useless, and will continue to be so because even though they say they want the forces to leave, they know it wont happen, and so every night when they go to bed, they're confident that a soft cushion awaits their empty heads. They depend on the forces. I get really angry when I talk about this subject. I get really upset, that such a rich, resourceful country has ended up in such filthy hands. Filthy, corrupt and no loyalty. No loyalty to the earth they are walking on. I want them to suffer.

Yes chaos will break from all directions. Qaeda will come back. Mahdi Militias will restart their hideous murders, awakening members will start their revenge killings on the militias, and the government. WOW. And best of all Iran will just take over. I want to see how the hell will the so called “sovereign” Iraqi govt take control? I really wanna see it.

Youre gonna tell me but it’s the average Iraqi that will become the victim. YES. Unfortunately its always been the average Iraqi. All those who were able to leave, left. And that BS of refugees coming back to their country is just that, BULSHIT!

You know why they’re going back? They are going back Because they ran out of money. Theyre living in the most dire conditions. They have been treated like trash. They have BECOME trash everywhere. Oh where are you from? People ask with a smile. When you say Iraq, they immediately frown and have that distinctive disgusted look on their faces. You know why these people are going back? Theyre going back because they have no other choice. Their bloody govt failed them! They didn’t aid them. And if they did, its peanuts compared to what they could have done. Westerners are more EMPATHETIC than the so called SOVEREIGN GOVERNMENT! GOD!!! It just pisses me off. I swear it does.

Yes, Obama, please win. Win and withdraw the troops. Personally I believe the US is wasting its time. Its time, money and effort. Try and save the fallen economy instead with the money you will be wasting on Iraq. Iraq has enough money. Iraq is rich. Unfortunately the wealth is going into Ammar al Hakeem’s pockets, and his repulsive likes. Do you know that he bought properties here in the Emirates worth millions of dollars? No you don’t know that fact. He spends millions while the children of Iraq die of starvation, cholera, typhoid, abuse, rape and torture. WELL DONE Ammar!!! Lets see what happens to you when the forces leave? I want to see you torn apart, exactly the same way a lion preys on his victim. Is what Im saying vicious? I really hope so.

I hope the security deal wont be signed, and I hope the US will carry out their threats. Its wishful thinking I know.But its good to hope. Its healthy. Right? My mood is just like a candle. A candle flickering with the weather. The Thundery Baghdadi Weather…
posted by neurotic_wife at 11:24 PM 39 comments

October 22, 2008

My Rundown Hurriya Visitor...

Woke up pretty early to catch my ride to Dubai. We didn’t wanna be stuck in their horrible morning rush hour. The trip took me back to when HUBBY and I used to travel through Dubai back to Baghdad. I looked outside the window and saw all those skyscrapers one after the other. Then I smiled. I smiled for I also remembered Mohannad.

Mohannad is a simple 20 something year old guy living in the rundown Hurriya district. He is one of those that I miss very much cause his stories never bored me.

Neurotica, is it true there are those really tall buildings, that you can even see clouds through its windows? He once asked. I remember that day so well. As always I was sitting in the courtyard smoking, while he kept me company. Ofcourse I said with a soft smile. So all these things we see on TV are real, right? He asked for confirmation. I nodded my head. Aha Mohannad. Yes.

Do you have them in London and Abu Dhabi as well? No, not really in London, and not in Abu Dhabi but in Dubai yes. You see a lot of them. Have you ever been in one? He asked. Yes. Did you ever open the window and feel the clouds? Wow that question took me aback. Made me think, have I ever been in one and did that? What a pity I thought to myself. You always take the things you have for granted. I laughed, No Mohannad, I was never smart enough like you to think of doing it. But I promise, next time Im in one, I will try and touch the clouds and will make sure to tell you all about it.

For that hour and 20 minutes, I wished Mohannad was sitting right next to me. I could easily imagine the amazed look on his face. I could easily see his goofy smile lighten his features while he probably stared in shock at the images afore me. I could easily feel his happiness coming through his dark brown eyes and his bushy eyebrows raised up with excitement.

What have these people seen in their lives? Really now. Millions of them have never been on a plane. Millions of them don’t even know whats going on in the rest of the world. Yet here we are, the rest of the so called civilization waking up every day, going about our business as if its normal. Is it really normal? Whats normal? Our life or theirs? No Im not gonna allow myself to fall into that trap. That horrid depression trap. But seriously what have the Iraqis seen in their lives. What have they gained?

I sit here now, this moment, writing these words, and my heart is truly filled with sadness. Yet Im smiling at the same time, for I remembered his words. You know Neurotica, once the Americans leave, I would have saved a fair amount of money. You know what I will do with this money Neurotica? I said, open a bakery? He shook his head. I said, Ummm open a car repair shop? For in Iraq, its either a bakery or a car repair shop, Lol. He shook his head again. What are you gonna do Mohannad? I asked curiously

Im going to get myself a passport and travel. Travel the world. I want to be just like those people I see on TV. Those people who go from one place to the other, carrying bags behind their backs, just like school children and hop on and off planes, trains, cars, busses. This is what I wanna do Neurotica. And ofcourse, I want to go to one of those tall buildings and touch the clouds. Touch them with my own hands, feel them with my fingers and he gestured high up with his rugged rough hands.

Yes I thought to myself. Inshallah you will. You definitely will Mohannad. One day. The car then suddenly took a swerve and I woke up from my sad, yet lovely daydream. We finally reached our destination. And yes, it was great seeing Mike, and meeting up with him in a so called "normal place" after nearly a month of leaving them. I only hope, that Mohannad, that 20 something year old guy will also be a visitor. My Visitor. My rundown Hurriya Visitor...
posted by neurotic_wife at 11:35 PM 13 comments

October 20, 2008

HUBBY's Iraqi Mistress Project...

I cant make my mind up on what to write anymore. I have so much to talk about, but don’t know where to start. Shall I write about my outrage on the Iraqi govt’s slow reaction to what happened to my fellow Iraqi Christians in Mosul? Shall I write about life in Abu Dhabi as a single Wife? Or maybe complain about the soaring prices? How about my anxiety attacks that I keep getting whenever I go out? Hmmm or maybe I should talk about my insomnia? I dunno.

Im still trying to adjust to the “real” world. Im getting much better though. I have yet to train myself to be abit more patient and understanding. Baghdad spoiled me. Spoiled me BIG TIME.

I gave up the idea of finding a bigger place and stuck to the one Im renting at the moment. I was shocked at how much everything costs here. It wasn’t like this a year ago. Or even 6 months ago. Everyone is complaining, and I joined that statistic. Then comes the parking dilemma. OH MY GOD. That by itself is a huge factor of me staying at home. I did the mistake one night and stayed out late at my parents. It took me an hour and a half, LITERALLY to be able to find parking, and it wasn’t even a legal spot! It was a challenge and I didn’t care if it took me to the early hours of the morning to find a darn place to park!!!!

I am also realizing the sexist attitude men have towards a woman! Its either “Aaaaaaah, it’s a woman” and he drools, or “Oh, it’s a woman” and he curses! I asked one of the mirror shops to send over someone to take measurements so I can put some mirrors up. They sent this young guy. It was going fine UNTIL, until he asked me to hold the measure to help him out. This was in the bedroom mind you. He closed the door so he can measure the whole wall. I didn’t think much of it, although I did feel uncomfortable. He made me hold the measure, then all of a sudden, he came closer and friggin BRUSHED my body with his hand!!!!It took a few seconds for me to register what happened.

I immediately let go of the measure tape and stepped back! I would have thrown him out, but with his kind you never know what would have happened. Needless to say I started cursing HUBBY for not being here with me. Infact its becoming part of my daily ritual to curse, especially when I end up working on things HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING! UGHHHHH

Then ofcourse there’s the rude man. I was driving to go to the bank. All of a sudden the car infront stops. The man gets out, locks his door and goes into the building right then and there. I couldn’t believe it! He left me stranded in the middle of the road!!! I beeped and beeped. He came back, looked at me and started ushering angrily to leave. Roohee he kept saying. Roohee. (Go in Arabic)

LEAVE??? How the hell can I move my car? I gestured with my hand. I couldn’t bloody reverse because there were cars behind me! I couldn’t go forward because he was blocking me! He cursed me out, and went back inside!!! OH……MY….GOD….I sooooooooooo wanted to get out of the car and beat the shit out of him. But I needed to catch the bank before it closed! I managed to find a small space between 2 parked cars were I was able to squeeze through.To my shock, I see a police car with a police man in it witnessing the whole scene without doing ANYTHING!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR….

Yeah welcome to the real world I keep saying to myself. I infact laugh, laugh and shake my head. How did civilization change so much? Or maybe it was like that all the time but its only now that Im taking note of it? I dunno. Many things keep me up till the early hours of the morning. And when I cant sleep, I just go and move furniture around. Sofas that are triple my size! I guess its my way of therapy.

In 2 days a coworker of mine is stopping over on his way to his R&R, and I cant wait to meet up with him and the other Baghdadi friends. It would be fun and strange at the same time to be united in a place other than Baghdad. To be able to sit in a normal place void of any Twalls and stupid regulations. To be able to gossip about everything and everyone without having to look over our shoulder ten times incase someone close by is eavesdropping and turns the whispers into meaningless rumours!!! A few other friends are also planning to stop by in the coming months, which is great. Im so looking forward to seeing everyone again.

Infact, HUBBY suggested I go visit him some time soon. Im really contemplating the idea. It would be interesting to also squeeze a little trip on my way, to visit work and surprise everyone. At the same time I would love to go and meet HUBBY’s mistress. The mistress project he chose over me. HUBBY's Iraqi Mistress Project...
posted by neurotic_wife at 10:27 PM 24 comments

October 06, 2008

My Baghdadi Trance...

I don’t wanna leave, I told HUBBY. Then don’t leave Neurotica. I don’t even know why you took that decision in the first place. I stared at him real hard, and shook my head. HUBBBBBBBBBBY, you are supposed to tell me LEAVE. Youre supposed to make it easier on me. Then it was his turn to shake his head. “Neurotica”, he said with a sigh, “I know you, you will never be satisfied with any answer I give you. Just do what YOU, feel is right for you.”

I made my way to the Big Boss to bid him farewell, “Umm, if I decide not to leave, will you be ok with it?” He laughed, which is a rare thing, and said, “Neurotica, all of us wanted you to stay, but its your choice, and your choice alone. I cant force you”

Next morning, I climbed into the car and waved goodbye to my beloved Iraq. I managed to pull off the quiet exit I always wanted. I cant describe the rush of emotions I had at that moment. All I can say that my heart ached. Literally ached. And just like a kid, I kept waving to the outside. Waving to houses. Waving goodbye to the beautiful palm trees. I even waved good bye to those ugly Twalls!!!

I spent a few days in Amman with HUBBY (that by itself will require a post on its own, never ever Amman AGAIN), before he returned back to Iraq and I made my way to AD. To say that I have been relaxing ever since then will be a huge LIE. I resumed work the minute we arrived in Amman. And ever since then its been just work work work. Worse than when I was actually in Baghdad. Some of you did comment that it’s a bad idea : ) I guess now I agree with you.

Although I havent spent much time with my family, I did see them a few times. They ofcourse started complaining about my “hermit” status. “You left Baghdad didn’t you? Why are you stuck in the flat?” My dad even called me yesterday and asked me in a sarcastic way “Neurotica, where are you? Still stuck in the Baghdad Trance?” LOL. Yup I guess I need to organize myself in a better way. Besides, Im working more than the 40 hours Im supposed to be putting in. So, definitely a re organization of priorities is in need. Not only for my sanity, if any is left, but for my health. My smoke intake has tripled!!! I go through three packs a day EASSSSSY!!!

Talking of which, yesterday I was having lunch at my parents, with only my sister and mom, my dad was invited out. And what a better way to end lunch than lighting a cig with my coffee. There I was smoking away enjoying every breath UNTIL. Until my dad appeared out of the blue amidst the smoky air. OH MY GOD. To say I wanted the floor to open up and devour me, is an understatement!!! I didn’t even bother turning towards him. It was sufficient to look at my sisters ashen face, LOL. I threw the cig in the sink, tossed my pack on the floor, stood up, and smiled. An uneasy smile, that of a kid who had just spilled milk all over the place.

Naturally, the smile wasn’t reciprocated back : ) I know my dad is aware of us smoking, but in our family its extremely rude and unheard of to smoke or even smell of smoke when our father is around. My sister keeps a bottle of perfume handy just for that occasion, lol. My mom ofcourse loved every minute of it, she sat there sniggering at me, cause she hates us smoking with a vengeance. Not funny MOM!!! Oh well, an episode I definitely will not repeat AGAIN.

I better get back to work and back to my trance. My Baghdadi Trance
posted by neurotic_wife at 11:46 AM 26 comments