neurotic Iraqi wife

I think Ive caught a disease...a disease thats called writing phobia...Yup...I have a phobia from writing...Ive been trying to post something for the past week...Everytime I do...I start a few lines then I stop...I stop and cant continue anymore...Its the worst feeling ever...The worst feeling cuz writing is my only salvation...

For the past 2 weeks I have been trying to convince HUBBY not to go back to Baghdad...But it seems that he has made his mind up already... In the end I had to give him an ultimatum....I know I musnt but that was the only way to do it...I said either me or Iraq HUBBY....either me or Iraq...He didnt answer for a few minutes...Then he said, ofcourse you...Yeah right, ofcourse me yet he is still going back... I started to wander....wander about marriage and what it really means...For me marriage is commitment...marriage is settling down...marriage is about compromise and understanding....Yet I dont really see that happening or maybe Im just blind to see it...

Everyone is been telling me "do your own thing"...I cant do my own thing when I dunno where HUBBY will be...I thought being married is staying together...I thought being married is about sharing the remaining years of your life with someone...with someone you love and care about...HUBBY says whats a year or two...A year or 2 of living like a nomad...At first I was pretty upset... Then I tried to weigh things out...If he goes to Iraq, Im planning to go with him...Infact I contacted my ex boss and asked if there was a possibility of me resuming my job there...At first he wrote back saying that they arent hiring any more people...fair enough...I left it at that...But a few days later, I received another email from him asking me to make a decision so he can start the procedures...Hmm...Apparantely he was waiting to talk it out with the front office in the States... He got the OK and asked me to give him an answer....

I didnt really tell HUBBY about it at first...I knew the minute I tell him, he will be more encouraged to go back... I stayed quiet for sometime...Hoping....praying that something might come up here...But no...nothing...In the end I had to tell him...He said go for it....keep your options open...I wrote back to R and said tell me what I need to do to go back... Ofcourse all this is done without my parents knowing... my father wont be a problem, its my mom... She already was pretty upset when I hinted that HUBBY was planning to go back to Iraq....Infact, after I uttered the words HUBBY and Iraq, umm, my ear drums kinda aquired a hole....Then she stopped talking to me for a few days... I guess like all mothers, she just wants to see me settled down with a career and kids....As for kids, I mentioned that Im not ready at the moment....And that is a true statement...She was shocked and gave me the "years are passing you by and you will miss the train" kinda lecture... I used HUBBY's statement and said "whats a year or 2"....

There is no way I will bring a human being to this world without being able to provide a safe and stable home... To imagine dragging the poor kid every few months is definitely a no no... And thats really a great pity...I used to always crave for the love of a child...Always...But I have to use my brains for now and not give in to emotions...I think thats what marriage taught me...I used to always be someone that uses emotions as my guideline...emotions got me no where...infact my emotions just stressed me out more... Using my head was the best solution...And thats what I have been doing for the past month or so... hence my lack of writing ability....

Right now HUBBY has gone to the States...I was supposed to travel with him but decided to stay a few more days to spend more time with my family...Im actually heading there tomorrow... not really looking forward to the whole journey with all the security hassles... Im glad that they have become more rigid but its the questioning part and the delay that Im kinda dreading...Although Im a british citizen, I am afterall an Iraqi...Last time I had to wait 3 hours in miami airport until they let me go...Three darn hours!!! When I asked them what the problem was, they just said "this is a standard procedure for all those born in specific countries"... Yup wherever we go the word "Iraq" becomes a hazard....its like a flashing sign "BEWARE AN IRAQI IS HERE"... Funny cuz you woulda thought that people might try to be more sympathetic, but noooooo....An Iraqi is a threat to the world's safety....I with a British passport will wait 3 hours, I wander how many gruelling hours would an Iraqi with an Iraqi passport would withstand...Although, truth to be told, the officer was extremely nice to me and apologetic...Unlike some Arab countries where they treat you like shit and talk down to you... Thats the West for you I guess...

So yup, I will be packing my bag and off I go...Im looking forward to some relaxation...Although thats all I have been doing here, but I am in need of a change of scenery... Just somewhere different...Somewhere where I can get real chocolate pancakes!!! Just like Ihop...yummm...Ive been sleeping alone in our little nest... First few days felt strange...I cleaned the house inside out and for the first time, it stayed that way...CLEAN....There were no coke cans lying around...or cig ashes on the floor... The smell of flash and dettol dominating the entrance...Wow some freshness... I also was busy doing DIY stuff...Infact thats one of my greatest achievements....This place lacks storage...I mean there were no closets etc...except for the kitchen...

We custom made our cupboards, but that was just enough for our clothes...Nothing for shoes and towels etc...I went to home center, a place similar to home depot...although home depot is all DIY this place has just a few DIY things and the rest is ready made ready to deliver...I got shoe rails and began my journey with DIY... It took me an hour to put it all together...At first I didnt know which nail went where....but by the time I was done, I had the biggest smile ever...I know its stupid to be happy about doing something like that, but it felt good... After completing the rails, I immediately filled it with my shoes...Umm I got 60 pocket holes and yet I still had more shoes outside...As I filled all the shoe pockets, I took one last look and left the room....A few hours later, I took a peek and needless to say, the rail collapsed....LOL....I just couldnt believe it...After all the work Ive put in...

I guess 60 pairs of shoes where kinda too heavy on that poor rail... Besides I stopped wearing all those high heeled stylish shoes...Eversince I went to Baghdad, Ive been sticking to trainers...Maybe I should give some of them away....Shoes....shoes my beloved addiction...actually my ex addiction.... you change somehow after Iraq...Or maybe thats just me... I did fix the rail yesterday but ever since then Iv been hearing popping sounds...Am too afraid to check on its state...dreading the sight that would be afore me....anyhow...I think Ive rambled enough for today... Not sure if I will be able to blog while Im away but if I do get the chance then I will definitely keep you updated on the yummy chocolate pancakes that I will be shoving down my throat...mmmm....Chocolate....Heavenly Chocolate....

PS: I cant believe its been 2 years since I started this Blog...Wow 2 years and its the same darn dilemma...Oh well...C'est la vie...

In 10 days time, its gonna be 2 years since I started this blog...Yet I feel Im back to square one...Remember how I used to come up with ideas to lure HUBBY back to me...Well it seems that I will have to try harder this time...HUBBY is going back....YUP, back to Baghdad...Back to Baghdad and this time alone...Forget Kuwait, forget the world, its back to my war torn country...AGAIN...I just cant get over it...Im extremely upset and disappointed...Everytime he opens the subject I just place my fingers in my ears and tell him I aint listening...

The other day we were watching some sitcom and this lady was wearing boxer shorts...HUBBY said "hmm, she looks sexy"... A light bulb flashed in my mind...I slowly tiptoed to his chest of drawers, rummaged through his boxers, found a nice green striped one(green my favourate colour) , as I was trying to put it on....Heard HUBBY's footsteps,....I glid through it so fast and saw him standing there..."What you doing" he asked....Umm, trying to look sexy I answered with my hand holding the boxers from falling and a slight smile on my face...You like??? Will you change your mind about Baghdad now???

Well, needless to say my trick didnt work...He still is going...Maybe I should do some real cooking...I bought a few cookbooks in hope of luring HUBBY...Needed to brush on my culinary habbits...They say The way to a mans heart is through his stomach...Hmm, another light bulb is flashing...Maybe I should cook this calamari dish he has been asking for and sedate him....YES YES YES...Then do as my mom instructed me....Hide his passport...LMAO...I really hope HUBBY aint reading this or else he wont eat a thing I would prepare....And the hopes of hiding his passport will condensate into thin air....

I mean to go back to that time of my life, worrying, stressing, freaking out is no fun...I really cant believe it...What is it I have achieved??? NOTHING...A big fat NOTHING...And the darn problem is he aint listening...Granted he still wants to help out, but give me a break...People are leaving... only the insane are going back...Besides what kind of rebuilding is taking place...we were there....we saw the reality of projects...A school that was in shambles, was renovated by painting the walls pink....pink walls WILL NOT enhance the education of the Iraqi kids!!! Where are the kids in the first place???Almost many of the parents have refrained from sending their children to the schools because of the security situation...Most of the teachers have fled...either in hiding or left the country for good....WOW great rebuilding!!!

Take hospitals, whats the point of putting some new medical equipment, or painting the maternity rooms orange when the doctors have become a prime target for kidnappers and terrorists...You go there and theres no one to look after you...Nurses and doctors decided to seek a better life in Jordan, Syria or the UAE....Your only salvation is maybe the newly painted orange wall staring back at you...aha great efforts...

The roads and bridges that were renovated, are prime targets for bombs and highway bandits...I mean cmon...Rebuilding...yes its there...The money has been spent...More money is gonne be spent, but for what....and for who...HUBBY has seen how things work there, and yet he still wants to go...To achieve what??? Says its the principle...What principle HUBBY??? Im really really teed off...I mean really...2 years on and its the same darn conversation...the same darn arguements...

We have received an email from a friend of ours who was working with us in Baghdad...He is an Iraqi with US citizenship...Went back to the States for 2 months and now he is in Baghdad with another organisation...HUBBY immediately said "See, even H went back" Yeah HUBBY H went back but I aint his wife, so I cant say anything except he is crazy...

I was also disappointed and hence didnt blog for awhile, cuz I sent a few emails to some US newspapers inorder to work as a columnist or a freelancer...None of them wrote back...Not a single one...Which made me rethink about my writing ability...I think Ive lost that lustre...It was always a dream...a dream to write a book...to write a story...But now, this dream is gone...shattered...Always wanted my voice to be heard...Always wanted to lend a helping hand...But...it seems...I dont stand a chance...And now that HUBBY will leave me yet AGAIN, I can feel myself slipping into my depression...My Dark Depression...

After the email we received from W, we called him up to check on him...He sounded much better than the email he sent, yet you can feel a twing of sadness and fear...He asked us whether we have settled down yet...whether we found jobs etc...The answer to both questions were no...Then silence...I guess he had high hopes...high hopes that 2 months after leaving Baghdad, we woulda gotten somethng by now...Little did he know that HUBBY was in a world of his own for awhile...We promised him, that as soon as we do get something we will let him know...Meanwhile we asked him if he could get a visit visa, and come here for awhile...Just a break...a break for him and his bride....A sort of honeymoon that they never got to have...The words Inshallah(God Willing) were uttered...An expression that is sometimes used when nothing WILL happen...

Back here, on the homefront...things between HUBBY and I, are almost perfect...I say almost cuz I know that the bubble will burst, one day...I guess its like a vicious cycle...Besides thats normal...Ups and downs...Being unemployed isnt really fun...After the hectic and challenging time in Baghdad, we find ourselves most of the time stuck to our laptops, with the news channel in the background...HUBBY got a few job offers, some here, some in other Gulf countries and umm some in where else but...Iraq...

Im like the hawk...Everytime his cell phone rings, my ears just perk up (never knew they can do that)...and everytime I hear the word Iraq...my face just goes all droopy and I wave a frantic No to HUBBY....One time, I even stomped over to him, stood right infront, with both my hands on my hips, while my feet tapping the floor....Then I mouth N....O....He looks at me with pleading eyes...I just shake my head...and repeat N.......O.....Like a child being refused a yummy lollie, his contours changes and replies to the other guy on the phone with a slight sadness "Umm...I am interested in the position in Iraq, but would prefer if I get something here"... my smile reappears again... and I go back to my throne...

To get out of the rut we are in, we started going to the health club which we joined more than a month ago...One day, out of the blue...HUBBY said "Lets go swim" I jumped with excitement...Its as if someone said we won the lottery....taking advantage of the rare moment...I scurry to the room, grab my swimsuit and as I put it on...I look at my legs...OMG, the horror...I couldnt remember the last time I waxed (eeeww I know)...Shoot...What the hell am I gonna do...It wasnt really that bad, but umm, theres no way in hell I will go out like that...And theres no way Im gonna shave either...I hate shaving...2 mins into my dilemma, HUBBY calls out "IM READYYYYYYY"....Darn how I hate being a woman...."Umm HUBBY" I call out..."Can you give me 30 mins pls???"..."THIRTY MINS???why, what are you doing"...pulling my hair out I mutter under my breath...literally...I hear the chair squeaking...I guess he succumbed to my wishes...Good....

I didnt really have time to wax, so instead I used my epilator...aaaaaah my saviour...45 mins later, Im good to go...HUBBY asked what I was doing...Umm my yoga excersize..Yoga he asks??? you dont do Yoga...Sure I do HUBBY...you just dont know it....He gave me a suspicious look then off we went...The pool was virtually empty...Just the way I like it....extremely relaxing...relaxing and away from the depressing news...I think we need to switch off from time to time...As usual, HUBBY sits in the shade and I just bake in the sun while listening to my IPOD...

HUBBY asked why cant Baghdad be like that...Why cant Baghdad have a club with a pool and everyone can enjoy themselves....Hmm...It used to have one...There was a club...Al Alwiya Club...the place to be seen in, at a certain point in time ...I cant remember much of that place, cuz I was a 4 yr old then...But I do remember wearing my pink swim suit, and my floaters...Maybe cuz I have a pic of it somewhere...Apart from that I have no recollection...But I can imagine it...Everyone, including my family talk about their memories in that club...HUBBY keeps talking about his adolescent memories and the hours spent in Al Alwiya...memories of him playing football, memories of the girls...Umm yeah HUBBY ok...I get the picture...

As long as there are people like Al Hakeem, Sadr and Dhari... as long as there are fanatics...Alwiya club will remain just a distant memory...The place still exists but the hub of excited screams, children's loud laughter and families conversations has long been replaced by hushed voices and hurried lunches....Iraq needs to have a full cosmetic surgery...Laser out all the fanatics...cut off all the militias..Suck out the mobs, gangs, zarqawis bin ladens and saddamists...and reconstruct the problem areas...

After writing all the above...HUBBY got a phonecall...He went all quiet then said "Honey, we're goint to Kuwait"...A job offer in Kuwait!!! Kuwait people!!! I mean of all the places in the world...I would rather go to Iraq than Kuwait...My heart just sank....I managed a weak smile...and said oh, really??? Im just disappointed...I would have to start packing EVERYTHING....can you imagine???Can you imagine the hassle??? Pack everrrrrryyyything AGAIN!!! Just as I was about to settle...feeling like mothergoose comfy in my nest...Not only pack, but go somewhere new...somewhere I know no one in...away from my family...I will have to find an appartment...buy furniture and a darn ice maker fridge all over...this is Deja vu...Im laughing right now...Laughing, cuz if we tell W we are going to Kuwait....He will just lose all hope in us...

As my anger and disappointment began to surface after the shocking news....HUBBY felt very uncomfortable, so instead of taking it out on him...I opted for washing up the dishes...just to release the energy...splashed water all over and made really loud bangs....pretty fun dont you say???I then decided that early evening is a good time to vacuum, polish and clean the floor...HUBBY just sat staring at me....what you doing???Im cleaning...Now???Yup HUBBY is there a rule as to when someone can clean??? He just shrugged....

I guess I brought this upon myself...When I was a kid and was asked what is it I really wanted to be...I simply answered "see the world"...Umm yup a curse Ive layed on myself ever since then...Had I known it meant strotting the world with my suitcase every few months I woulda changed my answer to a wife with a little house on the prairie....GRRRRRRRR....Oh well....A nomad's life...Yup this is it...Neurotic Iraqi Wife and her Nomad's Life...Hey it ryhmes...Ughhhhhhh...Where is that darn remote when you want it...CLICK CLICK CLICK...I think I need a breather...You know what..maybe we should go to the States..HUBBY has a place there...can get a job easily and I will start writing a book...A book about my life....My Nomads Life...

Woke up and as usual first thing I do is check my email...remember W, my former Iraqi colleague??? He sent me this daunting news

"Dr A had threaten and he leave the work some put a letter in his home during Friday night and he found it in the morning telling him to leave his job or he will be killed in 48 hours So it’s terrible here they are in work now and I know that and may be it’s my turn now so if you can found a job and decide to stay there just tell me then I can arrange my time to leave really I can’t stand any moor and I need your help now "

HUBBY and I just sat there staring at these words...What can we do??? What is there to do??? A cry for help...help that we have no idea how to offer...a cry for help from not only a colleague but someone we considered as a young brother...

As for Dr A, he was one of the nicest guys Ive met...The sweetest...He first joined to take HUBBY's place, and carry on the work...He kept to himself all the time...Until one day, I went upto him and started a conversation...It turned out that he came from the same town as my dad's...Just as I mentioned my dad's name, he went all excited...Said he doesnt know my dad, but knows of my family...AFter that, he became real friendly with us...And I remember, the last day we were there saying our goodbyes...He came over, with sadness in his eyes...And said "Am really sorry, I never meant to take over your HUBBY's place...I really do apologise...Wish you guys can stay...You are our hope for this country...You are here so we can learn from you..." Words like these go directly to your heart....

Situation isnt getting better...The insurgents have infilterated the work place...I had my doubts on 2 or 3 people...Kept away from them as much as they tried being friendly....kept my distance...They cant harm me....but they definitely can harm the Iraqis that live outside the Green zone...W is very scared and he should be...A newly married young guy...Why should he suffer....Why should anyone suffer... The cowards are using such means to stop people from going to work...to stop people from surviving...To stop people from living...Im sickened by this...I really am...This is not new news but to happen to someone you know....to someone you care deeply about...to someone youve worked with...to someone you like...This is the reality of life in Iraq...

Im just short of words right now...This email just messed me up...We need to find a way out for W....How are we gonna do that....How are we gonna do that when we ourselves dont know whats happening with us...HUBBY got a few job offers, some are in another country...We have to decide...decide very soon...If not for us... then... for W... The criminals...the bastards are winning the war...winning the war by exterminating the good people...the good people of Iraq...Im sitting now writing this with a sense of helplessness...Sense of despair...A simple email with just a few words...yet these words cut right through...right through my heart...This is a cry...A Cry for Help...

Away from politics and its dirty game, I was blog reading and I came upon BlackFive's post about 911. The idea comes from dcroe...Where 2,996 different bloggers from all over the world will pay tribute to the 2,996 victims...Each blogger will get assigned to write about a certain victim of that horrendous day...You get to research and find out about that person's life...I think its an amazing idea... If you havent signed up, I think you should...

It made me wander if its possible to do something like this for all the Iraqis that lost their lives...The question is will the info be easily accessed...Dont think so...Im sure the MOH will have the names, but will they give it out just like that??? Even if they will, which is extremely doubtful, how will we be able to find out about that person's life??? It saddens me that the hundred thousands of Iraqis that were killed during Saddams tyrant regime and are still getting killed to this present day are all anonymous...anonymous to me...But their plight...Their plight will never be forgotten....

So For me I will not only be paying tribute to that specific person, but to all the Iraqis that lost their lives, all the innocent people...I will be paying tribute to all humanity...For the world changed after that day...911 was the turning point...911 changed all our lives...Every single one of us...one way or another...That day the candle's dim flame flickered...flickered with its shadow dancing on the walls...it took one blow...one blow and the flame went dead...one blow and the shadow disappeared...one blow and the dancing stopped...one blow and the walls became dark...dark and barren...But the candle...the candle still stands...still stands and awaits for its flame...The Flame of Life....

Although I didnt really wanna divulge deep into politics, I guess I need to provide some answers to many of the comments I got regarding my last post...First off I do not accept any person insulting another in the comments section on my blog....Secondly, whoever called me a moron, I wanna thank you for you made me laugh, am serious... I was in need of some laughter, so Thanx....

Now lets get into the nitty gritty...People have to understand that theres a fine line between what people define terrorism and what people see as self defense...The daily killing of Iraqis is a terrorism act...The Qana massacre is a terrorism act... 911 was a terrorism act...Oklahoma bombing was a terrorism act...Any killing of any kind that involves innocent people going victims IS A TERRORISM ACT... Had the scene been reversed and the shelter was in Israel, I probably would have reacted the same way but maybe with less ferver...Most of the victims in Lebanon that were killed were innocent people and not Hizbollah militia...

Do I support Hizbollah??? No I dont support Hizbollah...Do I support the Israeli action??? No...Do I support Al Sadr??? No No No...And when I say I dont support these people, I mean I do not support their policies...I do not judge people by their faith, nor do I judge people by their nationality...But Im sorry to say that there are many ignorant people in this world, that are extremely judgemental and I will also say very shallow...Take Oklahoma bombing for instance...The minute it took place all fingers pointed to the Middle East...Doesnt that tell you something???

I have a few short stories I wanna share with you...In '93 I went to the UK for my Bachelors and Masters Degrees...Was the first time I leave the family urn if you know what I mean...A time for independence and freedom... In London we call the Orientation part, Freshers week...So during my freshers week, on the first day, my friend and I were sitting in the lecture room listening to whats gonna face us in the 3 years of our course...Sitting diagonally to us, was a guy...kinda cute...kept staring at us...and being the 18 year olds we were then, we kept giggling...

After the lecture was over, the guy came over, introduced himself as A...Asked us if we were from Spain...We shook our heads...then he said...Italy??? Nope we said...He looked pretty bewildered...So we said Iraqi...His face dropped, his smile disappeared...So we asked him about his nationality...He went all quiet then said "Sorry, but Im from Israel"...My friend and I looked at each other and shrugged...It was infact the first time we ever meet someone from Israel...But we didnt judge him because of this...To be honest, we really liked him, and we became quite good friends during our education...Should I have condemned him as a person because of his nationality??? No Way!!!

Short story No2:
During my first year in uni, my classes were pretty simple, so I used to skip many of them and go visit another frined of mine in her campus...There she introduced me to an Iranian guy...I found him quite queer, yet funny...A few weeks later as we were having coffee somewhere, he nudged me and said "BTW, Im Jewish" I looked up at him, and replied "Yeah and so???" He said I just thought I need to tell you incase you find out from someone else...I really didnt get the big deal..And I still dont...Why is there so much apprehension because of difference in faith or belief??? I cant care less if you believe in dogs, as long as you aint a bad person...

Short story No3"
Back in Baghdad, HUBBY had a colleague of his who was a US Gov Civilian...He was kinda of a loner...But we became really close...Whenever we would go and eat in the Dfac or chow hall as many people call it, we would tell him to Join us...B was in his late 50's early 60's...You would think life had taught him a few lessons..One day as we were having lunch, he asked us whether we were gonna watch the State of the Union speech...Being the blunt and honest person that I am, I immediately answered "I cant stand the guy let alone hear him speak" He asked who???I said Bush...He stopped eating and his face went all red...He asked me with a twing of anger in his voice "Why dont you like him" I simply answered...I dont like his foregin policies...B then virtually spat out and said, you have to be grateful that he liberated your country and without him, you being you, wouldnt even be here taking part in this historical moment....I said listen B, I never was in favour of the war, nor was I in favour of Saddam...Am I grateful??? Yes I am, but I wont be a slave to the guy for the rest of my life...He waged war on my country and didnt plan for the post period...My people are still getting killed...

B just went quiet then got up and said he had to go...Ever since then, he refused to talk to me...And when he did, he wasnt the same...Infact he didnt talk to me after that incident for almost a month...Give me a break...A 60 yr old man who gets upset cuz I said I dont like Bush...Big deal...I mean I didnt insult his family...nor did I insult his values...The shallowness of people is just beyond me...If someone comes up to me and tell me, Hey I dont like Maliki or Talabani, or even Blair...I aint gonna stop talking to them....I will try and understand why and let it be...

When 911 took place, everything changed in the US towards the Arab and Muslim population over there...Is that fair??? To judge the whole region because of a heinous act performed by a terrorist group??? As for the Arab Governments...God...where do I start...I havent seen one sinlge country that deals with transparency...All Arab leaders have double standards...All of them...Look what happened when Mithal al Alousy, an Iraqi politician, stated that he indeed travelled to Israel...The whole Arab world condemned him...Everyone stood against him, its as if he committed a crime...killed someone...Yet Jordan and Egypt have Israeli embassies on their land...All Arab leaders talk about peace process between Palestine and Israel...What have they done so far??? Nothing...Just talk...They talk and say things so they can become closer to the US...They do not give a damn about the Palestinian cause...Nor do they care about the Iraqis that are being killed every day...Its double standards all the way...

Take here, the UAE....a great country that respects its own local population, yet the majority of the people are expats...You wanna apply for a job...if you apply as an arab national, you get paid peanuts...forget qualifications and education...You hold the Emarati nationality, you are set for life....you have a job, your education is paid for...everything...You are an arab with a foreign nationality, job offers are much higher than a plain arab passport...Better still if you are a natural citizen of any Western country, you get more respect and salary figures go insanely high...This is the society we live in...Your Passport talks...And that goes in every single Arab country I have been to...

When the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait took place 16 years ago...Kuwait kicked out all Iraqis...Didnt even think to run security checks...see who is bad and who is good...No they judged us because of Saddams actions...Hundreds of families had to flee...Some even disappeared, taken by the government, until now many are still missing....Yet look at the Kuwaitis now...They got awarded most of the major services jobs in Iraq...They are making billions because of this war....Billions...I dont even know where Im going with this...All I wanted to say is please open up...dont be ignorant, and shallow...Try to see people in different eyes, go beyond their colour, race, faith and what have you...Judge people by their own actions and not the actions of specific groups...Iraqis are killing Iraqis, does that mean I should condemn my whole country??? NO...I condemn the specific groups that are committing these crimes... The US marines that raped and burnt that girl...Should I hate all Americans because of what the Marines did???Or because the other crimes that were committed by some US soldiers towards my people???NO, infact I have many good American friends...

If only people can agree to disagree...If only people can accept other people's opinions and let things just be...Without hatred, without killings...But I guess Im asking for a miracle...I am kinda set in my ways...Im sure that many people are...But I definitely Condemn, and I repeat CONDEMN the actions taken by Israel in Lebanon...They hit a shelter filled with handicapped children with the excuse that Hizbollah militias fired missiles from behind the house...Did any Hizbollah followers get killed in that attack??? Dont think so...

Anyways, I dont think I made my point clear...I tried but as long as there is so much hatred in this world....theres no point... Just to lighten up the mood abit heres a joke I received, probably an old one, but it cracked me up:

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?N o, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?She going to kill me.
What makes you think that? I got proof.
What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".

No offense intended to any Poles out there...Anyways I had enough of politics...Politics is dirty...A Dirty Game...