neurotic Iraqi wife
September 23, 2008
The Painful Present...
I absolutely hate it when people come to work when theyre terribly sick. Why spread the germs???Im NOT catching a cold NOW!!! I repeat, I AM NOT!!! Ughhh...Almost all the office is sick, and Im about to leave in less than a week! To top it all off, I have this nasty cruel zit that just popped up on my chin yesterday. Out of all places, its right there in everyones face! Things like that happen to me all the time especially around the time I travel. I blame it on stress.
Work has been especially hectic. One report after the other, and its non stop. I guess its all because of the new General. Its funny, every time a new Gen takes command, reports have to be done to explain every single reconstruction effort from 2003 upto now. Then ofcourse you have to brief them of the problem childs and the path forward. With every new person, they have a new vision.
They come here with big ideas, thinking that they will be able to fix everything, lol. We give them about a few weeks until they settle in and realize the sad reality. But in the meantime, its reports and information galore. I have also been offered to stay working for the same company, doing the same thing from home. It kinda took me aback when the Big Boss suggested it.
Im not complaining at all, but it sure will be a challenge simply because Im used to the fast pace here and I always tend to nag people to get the information I need. Whereas Im away, people will probably think they can get away, but I warned them, if I don’t get what I need on time, then I will be calling them up every 5 mins. Yeah HUBBY sorry, you will have to pay for these phone bills, hehe. I called my parents up to tell them of the good news and to warn them of any expectations they have of me once I get back.
But Umm dad, theres something I need to tell you
Dad: What is it?
Me: Ummm, well, although I will be coming back home, I just want to let you know, that I am NOT, and I repeat, I am NOT going to be attending any family obligations. No weddings, no funerals, no lunches, no dinners. NOTHING
(There was silence)
Me: Hello? Dad? You still there?
Dad: Yes, so tell me whats new? You never liked going out in the first place. You never do.
Me laughing: I know I know, but I just wanted to make sure and reiterate the point. I will spend time with YOU, my immediate family, but don’t expect me to see relatives, cousins etc. I am in no mood for small talk, or for smiling pretending to be happy all the time, its just not in me.
Dad: Just come here and don’t worry.
His words put a large smile on my face. Yes dad, I will come soon, I thought to myself. In fact you will probably get so fed up of me that you probably will pack my bags for me yourself and send me back here, hehe.
Although Im looking forward to going back to AD, Im certainly not happy that HUBBY will remain here. YES. Im leaving ALONE. He is staying!!!I know right? It doesn’t make sense. But I just cant hack it anymore. I really cant. Two days ago, I was clearing a few papers in my room, when it hit me. It hit me that I wont be here next week. Everyday now is my last day in Iraq. So I sat on my bed hopeless. I placed my hand under my chin and started thinking. Thinking of whether I can stay here until the end of the year. OMG. Just the thought, the thought itself felt like a huge Twall just dumped on my shoulder. Yup, THAT heavy. I just cant.
And I know, Im gonna go back to 4 years ago, when Id stress out about the whereabouts of HUBBY if I don’t hear from him. I cant imagine reliving those moments AGAIN!!! Thats what started this blog in the first place!!! At the same time, I don’t have any energy left in me to nag him. I seriously don’t. Im kinda fed up with this whole situation. And you know whats worse? Whats worse is he says he is fed up too, but he has to stay. Stay and see the end of his project. Im doing it for the people, Neurotica, You have to understand.
Yeah I guess I have to, but I never will. But, life goes on. That’s what I learnt. I refuse to live in the past, nor live in the future. But, I will live in the present. The Painful Present…
Work has been especially hectic. One report after the other, and its non stop. I guess its all because of the new General. Its funny, every time a new Gen takes command, reports have to be done to explain every single reconstruction effort from 2003 upto now. Then ofcourse you have to brief them of the problem childs and the path forward. With every new person, they have a new vision.
They come here with big ideas, thinking that they will be able to fix everything, lol. We give them about a few weeks until they settle in and realize the sad reality. But in the meantime, its reports and information galore. I have also been offered to stay working for the same company, doing the same thing from home. It kinda took me aback when the Big Boss suggested it.
Im not complaining at all, but it sure will be a challenge simply because Im used to the fast pace here and I always tend to nag people to get the information I need. Whereas Im away, people will probably think they can get away, but I warned them, if I don’t get what I need on time, then I will be calling them up every 5 mins. Yeah HUBBY sorry, you will have to pay for these phone bills, hehe. I called my parents up to tell them of the good news and to warn them of any expectations they have of me once I get back.
But Umm dad, theres something I need to tell you
Dad: What is it?
Me: Ummm, well, although I will be coming back home, I just want to let you know, that I am NOT, and I repeat, I am NOT going to be attending any family obligations. No weddings, no funerals, no lunches, no dinners. NOTHING
(There was silence)
Me: Hello? Dad? You still there?
Dad: Yes, so tell me whats new? You never liked going out in the first place. You never do.
Me laughing: I know I know, but I just wanted to make sure and reiterate the point. I will spend time with YOU, my immediate family, but don’t expect me to see relatives, cousins etc. I am in no mood for small talk, or for smiling pretending to be happy all the time, its just not in me.
Dad: Just come here and don’t worry.
His words put a large smile on my face. Yes dad, I will come soon, I thought to myself. In fact you will probably get so fed up of me that you probably will pack my bags for me yourself and send me back here, hehe.
Although Im looking forward to going back to AD, Im certainly not happy that HUBBY will remain here. YES. Im leaving ALONE. He is staying!!!I know right? It doesn’t make sense. But I just cant hack it anymore. I really cant. Two days ago, I was clearing a few papers in my room, when it hit me. It hit me that I wont be here next week. Everyday now is my last day in Iraq. So I sat on my bed hopeless. I placed my hand under my chin and started thinking. Thinking of whether I can stay here until the end of the year. OMG. Just the thought, the thought itself felt like a huge Twall just dumped on my shoulder. Yup, THAT heavy. I just cant.
And I know, Im gonna go back to 4 years ago, when Id stress out about the whereabouts of HUBBY if I don’t hear from him. I cant imagine reliving those moments AGAIN!!! Thats what started this blog in the first place!!! At the same time, I don’t have any energy left in me to nag him. I seriously don’t. Im kinda fed up with this whole situation. And you know whats worse? Whats worse is he says he is fed up too, but he has to stay. Stay and see the end of his project. Im doing it for the people, Neurotica, You have to understand.
Yeah I guess I have to, but I never will. But, life goes on. That’s what I learnt. I refuse to live in the past, nor live in the future. But, I will live in the present. The Painful Present…
31 Comments:
NEUROTICA LUV,AS IMENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUS COMMENT IF THERE IS ANYONE DESERVING A MEDAL IT REALLY IS YOU FOR STAYING THE COURSE & PUTTING UP TO A STALE NOGO SITUATION STIFLED BY THESE FILTHYHANDS AXIS OF EVILIRANIENSTOOGES !!!!!!!IT,D DRIVE ANYONE ROUND THE BEND!!!!! SEEING & LIVING THE TRAGEDY AROUND !!!IN IRAQ &BAGHDAD!!!!THE PHOTOS OF THESE POOR NAKED ORPHANS LAYING ON THE FLOOR IN THIER OWN EXCREMENT SIMILAR TO A HORRIBLE STATE OF AFFAIRS EXISTING AROUND THE PREVIOUS WARSAW PACT EXCOMMUNIST EASTERN BLOCK NATIONS!!!SO ITAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU FOR HAVING THE STAMENA &FORTITTUDE TO STAY THE LENGTH OF TIME YOU STAYED THERE.MAYBE YOU SHALL DO MORE GOOD ON THE OUTSIDE PROMOTING THE CAUSE, RATHER THAN FROM WITHIN THE RESTRICTED SET OF CIRCUMSTANSES IN THE GREENZONE ,SADLY SO!!!!BUT IF ANYTHING ,YOU MAY FIND TIME TO REFLECT & HAVE A FRESH SET OF SURROUNDINGS & PEOPLE TO STIMULATE YOUR IMAGINATION.I MYSELF AM OFF TO OUR B.F.G. AREA IN GERMANY FOR A FORTNIGHT TO ALSO REVISE THE SET OF CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH ONE IS PROCEEDING IN THE ARABIAN GULF.ALL THE VERY BEST OF MERRY JOLLY GREETINGS &KINDEST REGARDS WWW.BFBS.COM CHEERS "OLAFF":)
I hope things go well for you and hubby. And I hope you keep blogging, and post pictures of your world.They are worth a thousand words each, and it is far from my world and I enjoy seeing them.
I don't think your Dad will get tired of you. As I tell my kids, you will never know how much you are loved, till you hold your own child.
olaff, what the hell is the A*abian Gulf?
Persian Gulf is what it was, is and will be forever.
You're still hooked on breast milk. Cleft your palette and you will never know what else. I said, "Lady shoot your own damn Space Invaders." My favorite Atari game is Adventure. I got the sword. I hope you're rewarded.
This comment has been removed by the author.
dammit i thought u were going to tell ur papa that ur pregnant! and ur coming to AD to have the baby.. ah.. ok i have had a lot of stuff for iftar.. need to digest!
i wish i could live to AD too.. who knows.. soon inshalla..
hope u have a smooth transition.. and a safe journey. if i can help in any way, give me a holler!
PS: i suffered from this illness too.. my boss was sick last week and HAD to come to work.. now i am at home with his virus.. they say when ur a boss u gotta be responsible... ok show me how that works!
Oh my Gosh NIW!! Are you leaving?
My bad, I haven't been here in ages, and I'm shocked to read that you are leaving for good! I don't blame you, life sucks here. Every day passes is better than the upcoming one!
May God be with you and protect you and your husband
Marsho
NEUROTICA LUV ;THAT ANON GEYSER ;LOAD OF BOLLOCKS; SHOULD REALISE THAT THIS IS THE ARABIAN PENNINSULA ;& MAY HAVE ONLY BEEN UNOFFICIALLY PART OF OUR SIR T.E.LAWRENC.s vision BOOK :the 7 pillars of wisdom:-ANGLO-ARABIAN-PENNSULA AS PARTOF THE BRITISH COMMONWEALTH &THUS THE TERRITORIAL LEGITIMATE NAUTICAL SHORELINE UNDER INTERNATIONAL LAW OUT TO SEA SHALL ALWAYS REMAIN THE SOVERIEGN PART OF THAT LAND MASS THAT IT SURROUNDS & BEACHES IT LAPS ;IN THIS CASE IT IS THE ARABIAN PENNINSULA & THE THE LEGIT:SHORELINE SHALL ALWAYS BE THE ARABIAN GULF & ANY OTHER OTHER SHORELINE CAN KEEP ITS NAME TO ITSELF & BOLLOCKS OFF ;IN THIS CASE ;THE AXISOFEVIL;& NO MARITIME SHORELINE SHALL ACCEPT THE BOLLOCKS NAME OF ANOTHER COUNTRY;OTHER THAN THIER OWN:WWW.bfbs.com
How handy that you can take your job with you! It gives you something to count on as you make the transition. Plus, it really shows how much you and your work are valued. I can't think of a better way to exit! Hopefully, Hubby joins you in a couple of months and doesn't get talked into staying for another project!
Hope you continue to blog your journey!
Bamboo
Just a note to finally say,Hello! I have been reading you blog off and on since the very beginning. I have enjoyed your insight and may your Hubby's hard wok pay off. I pray most everyday day for peace in your Country and for stability in the region. The polotics of this war were and are disgraceful. I know the people that have used the opportunity for there own personal political gain will suffer, but it will be GOD'S time and requires much patience on our part. Our oldest son served two tours in the war and several other family members have served there and some are soon to leave. All, I know is that everyone that has been there and returned, basicaly say th esame thing "These people derserve better and that they hope that the freedoms that the Iraqi people have now will motivate them. And, they hope that the sucess and freedoms of there hard works will inspire others in the area that are suppressed and kept suppressed for political power, to seek the same kind of freedoms and demand this from there leaders. We can only hope and pray, that our soldiers did not die in vain.
Lauralee
Hey Olaff,
Need me to take care of that Anon Geyser? I will you know!
Been a while I know. I got aggravated by Anti-American ignorance, and moved on. But I still check in now and then.
Neurotica I hope hubby comes home soon. It makes me sad when couples are apart. You need to be together!!! Have babies!!!! Argue about who left the toilet seat up! lol!
This almost slipped my mind!!! Olaf! I have a Presentation Due on The Post World War I Mandate System in the Middle East??? Has anyone ever tackled the subject? The Presentation is Due in about a Month!!! The Seven Pillars seems a bit Huxtabillion Mein Kemphi. I mean there has to be Graduate material on the subject?
Dear, you need to find a real man. A real man put his wife and family always in the first place. A real man would watch over you instead of letting you sleep alone for years in a disgusting military base. Once you find one you will realize how naive you are to waste your life for a man that is nothing but a spoiled boy.
A real man would gather all the Women who are not Bjork and drop them off in Icelandic Britain.
Did you know Rum has it's own Sultanate? Olaf?
Come to Brazil and I take very good care of you...
Here there are no stupid Americans thinking they own the planet and also no terrorists.
Here there are no stupid Americans thinking they own the planet and also no terrorists.
Eduardo,
Atleast in America we can complete a whole sentence. And their are no Americans in Brazil because you are all dirty, stinky, lice ridden people. And you ARE the terrorist.
Hey smart American, you used the wrong "their".
lol Julie, u remind me of my dad.. always correcting their/there and its/it's
keep up the good work!
don't u think an argument just loses steam if u cock up like this by using the wrong words?
I think it's stupid that people even this as a way to argue back and forth. This is a blog about NIW. Are there not any other blogs for debate about who is stupid and who is not?
I think it's stupid that people even this as a way to argue back and forth. This is a blog about NIW. Are there not any other blogs for debate about who is stupid and who is not?
JULIE LUV:)HELLO DARLING THANK YOU FOR OFFERING TO KNOCK THAT ANON GEYSER OFF THIER BLOCK AS BRIAN FERRY SAYS WE;LL STICK TOGETHER ALL THE VERY BEST OF MERRY JOLLY GREETINGS & KINDEST REGARDS WWW.bfbs.com CHEERS OLAFF :)
Uh...Well, Beavis (or should I call you Mr. Fluent Vocabulary?)
Have you ever smelled a Brazilian? LOL
My point was not to attack YOU personally... But you have to agree you president is as stupid as shell and Americans are not forced to think... You are losing men and money in wars that are declared out of nothing and, again you have to agree, the Iraq Strike was NEVER war... It was BURGLER!!! Stealing, my friend!
I apologize if I mispelled something or if I made any other mistake due to my poor command of you mother tongue, but English is only one of the 6 languages the dirty Brazilian here speaks...
By the way, Buenos Aires is NOT in Brazil, moron!!! LOL
Regards.
P.S.: Thanx for your line up there Julie.
Sep 26, 2008 8:22 AM
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Subject:
Thanks the way you see then
Body:
The way I voice pronounces extremes. Enlightenment subjects the under developed orders in development. You remember this or I wouldn't write here. Development out of robotomy are subjects you yourself find inclusion. Included is myself in some sort of pitched familiarity. Outlying pyramid schema calling on all manner of analysis. Making sense of unexplainable memories. Your approved selection, "Mexican Kids think garbage turns into birds" is kinda like chaos I don't completely realize. Your songs have a much simpler rhythmic mechanism then a song about transmutable carrion yet you got my attention. I actually feel your songs are talking directly to me about experience we both probably share. I really appreciate your organization. I was previously under suggestion of a different container set. You are providing evidence and I need evidence as much as I need mature communication. You also provide excellent threat prevention in your music. Maybe you know how many years I spent going over the reasons we create instability. Maybe balance is adding up. I'm sure it's all easy. Love, me.
NIW, working from home will create a whole new set of problems, but hopefully will be less stressful. Just make sure nobody has caller ID! ;D Solo
I was not here since long time,but I´m very happy to hear that you´ll go out from that place. Hopefully your hubby will come soon.
I´m very happy for you:)
Eduardo:
I don't what that anon idiot was talking about. I recently went on Vacation to Salvador Brazil and it was beautiful, the people were great, I did'nt encounter anyone who smelled badly that I can remember. I LOVED it and was sad for it to end. And yes you are right our President is beyond stupid. I do disagree with you in saying that Americans are'nt forced to think. Obviously the dumb asses we have running this country are low on thinking skills but the majority of the American people are'nt as stupid as the rest of the world thinks. You made that sound like a personal attack, but well deserved.
Hey!!!!!! Sorry for not having come around in a while! I'm still alive and kicking, restarted my place a while back! I hope everything is ok with you! Stay in touch!
Best!
I would like to offer you a complimentary review copy of the new book by Iraqi ex-pat Issam Jameel “Iraq Through A Bullet Hole: A Civilian Returns Home”. Issam was in exile for a decade working at a resistance radio station in Jordan for a while and finally settling in Australia. When he attempted to return to his homeland in the summer of 2005, he was overwhelmed by danger, chaos, corruption, in-fighting, and con-artists. His harrowing account is a vivid reminder that Mission Accomplished is not exactly that.
Info at www.IraqThruABulletHole.com
It cannot have effect in reality, that is what I think.
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