neurotic Iraqi wife
July 02, 2008
My Neurotic Iraqi Pride...
One thing that we “eyerakis” sure do have a lot of is our pride. Touch my pride and you will get my tongue’s wrath. Say anything about me or any member of my family and you’re gone down in my black book. I tell you, that book is definitely running out of pages. Sometimes I wonder, on what darn basis do Col’s become Col’s and Captains become Captains!!! Ughhhhh…Shouldn’t they even consider the stature they are in, or the country theyre representing? Damn!
From the “nice” all smiley girl that I was three years ago, I learnt a few lessons by being here and working with some idiotic “samples” of people. I learnt that I should no longer shut my mouth. Nope I wont. The day started real bad with the slight sandstorm forming into thick dusty unbreathable air. Which to me, meant HUBBY wont be flying in today. Yeah, HUBBY was scheduled to visit me. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, and I will write about it in another post.
Then this other thing happened. This guy sends me a tasker about 12 days ago. Didn’t really emphasize the word “important”. Just said, I need this to be done in the last week of June. Come last week of June, and I was overwhelmed with other things that Me, myself and I, prioritized as “important”.
Yesterday, 1st of July, I was sent a reminder that the report is due. I hit my forehead with my hand, wow, it completely slipped my mind. Yeah my bad. I don’t usually keep things last minute. So I scrammed and started working on it as fast as I can. My sector’s deputy then ushers me to his desk and tells me to look at the email he received.
I read the words, and I felt a vein popping on my forehead and my anger level shot up. I couldn’t believe the nerve of that Col in sending out such a nasty email about me. He doesn’t know me, so he cant judge me. His email was something along these lines “She has been dragging her feet too long with this, and if it takes her to stay all night long to work it then be it” That’s when MY PRIDE kicked in. How dare he write something like this. How DARE he impose on me working “all night”. Who does he think he is? Yes, granted, I forgot about it completely, but DON’T judge me when I falter just once.
The deputy watched as my frown deepened and said, its ok Neurotica, don’t worry I will reply to him. I just walked off, grabbed my pack of cigarettes, and went outside not even caring that the dust storm has turned into something out of the twilight zone. I was really upset. I sat there, yeah, same spot where the ants had their tsunami, and started thinking about my response to that Col. I never spoke to the man before, he arrived here about a month ago, and I don’t want to deal with such specimen of the military.
I went inside all fuelled up, and there he was, staring out the window at the yellow sandstorm. I said “Umm, excuse me Col, I don’t drag my feet when I work, but yes I do drag them when I walk” And I started making my shuffling sound with my shoes. He looked at me in a disgusted look and replied
“Im sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
I couldn’t believe the fact he was denying his email. The nerve of him. I repeated the words above and then told him that if the so called tasker was so important, why didn’t they say so. I also asked him to talk to the people I deal with in his group and ask THEM if I ever was late in preparing anything for them. The words that started coming from his mouth were inaudible to me. I just saw his lips move, but couldn’t hear a thing. Cuz honestly, I didn’t give a damn shit.
I left, but felt that I didn’t vent enough, so I retreated back even though another part of my brain is telling me not to, but the pride, aaaaah the pride wouldn’t quit. I went back to him and said, Col, he had that sarcastic smile on his smug face, I continued “I don’t appreciate people not appreciating my hard work.” And I walked off.
Then I went to one of the bosses and told him, “You know what, I think Im gonna get fired real soon” I relayed the incident to him, and fortunately enough he told me some interesting stories about the Col in question. It was no surprise.
Yup, working here has become a struggle. Every morning I wake up, and walk to work, thinking only of the day ahead of me, and believe it or not, I do come into work smiling, but then I get slapped ten times by unwanted remarks be it personal or professional. Its not enough that JCL is spreading lies and making us all look bad. Its not enough that Captains are believing the lies. Its not enough that Colonels are making shit up thinking its cool to be rude. Ughhhh…
Then comes MY PRIDE. I realized the older I get, the more it fights back. Whatever little “diplomacy” I used have has now been beaten 100 to nil in the fighting ring by my Pride. My Neurotic Iraqi Pride…
From the “nice” all smiley girl that I was three years ago, I learnt a few lessons by being here and working with some idiotic “samples” of people. I learnt that I should no longer shut my mouth. Nope I wont. The day started real bad with the slight sandstorm forming into thick dusty unbreathable air. Which to me, meant HUBBY wont be flying in today. Yeah, HUBBY was scheduled to visit me. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, and I will write about it in another post.
Then this other thing happened. This guy sends me a tasker about 12 days ago. Didn’t really emphasize the word “important”. Just said, I need this to be done in the last week of June. Come last week of June, and I was overwhelmed with other things that Me, myself and I, prioritized as “important”.
Yesterday, 1st of July, I was sent a reminder that the report is due. I hit my forehead with my hand, wow, it completely slipped my mind. Yeah my bad. I don’t usually keep things last minute. So I scrammed and started working on it as fast as I can. My sector’s deputy then ushers me to his desk and tells me to look at the email he received.
I read the words, and I felt a vein popping on my forehead and my anger level shot up. I couldn’t believe the nerve of that Col in sending out such a nasty email about me. He doesn’t know me, so he cant judge me. His email was something along these lines “She has been dragging her feet too long with this, and if it takes her to stay all night long to work it then be it” That’s when MY PRIDE kicked in. How dare he write something like this. How DARE he impose on me working “all night”. Who does he think he is? Yes, granted, I forgot about it completely, but DON’T judge me when I falter just once.
The deputy watched as my frown deepened and said, its ok Neurotica, don’t worry I will reply to him. I just walked off, grabbed my pack of cigarettes, and went outside not even caring that the dust storm has turned into something out of the twilight zone. I was really upset. I sat there, yeah, same spot where the ants had their tsunami, and started thinking about my response to that Col. I never spoke to the man before, he arrived here about a month ago, and I don’t want to deal with such specimen of the military.
I went inside all fuelled up, and there he was, staring out the window at the yellow sandstorm. I said “Umm, excuse me Col, I don’t drag my feet when I work, but yes I do drag them when I walk” And I started making my shuffling sound with my shoes. He looked at me in a disgusted look and replied
“Im sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
I couldn’t believe the fact he was denying his email. The nerve of him. I repeated the words above and then told him that if the so called tasker was so important, why didn’t they say so. I also asked him to talk to the people I deal with in his group and ask THEM if I ever was late in preparing anything for them. The words that started coming from his mouth were inaudible to me. I just saw his lips move, but couldn’t hear a thing. Cuz honestly, I didn’t give a damn shit.
I left, but felt that I didn’t vent enough, so I retreated back even though another part of my brain is telling me not to, but the pride, aaaaah the pride wouldn’t quit. I went back to him and said, Col, he had that sarcastic smile on his smug face, I continued “I don’t appreciate people not appreciating my hard work.” And I walked off.
Then I went to one of the bosses and told him, “You know what, I think Im gonna get fired real soon” I relayed the incident to him, and fortunately enough he told me some interesting stories about the Col in question. It was no surprise.
Yup, working here has become a struggle. Every morning I wake up, and walk to work, thinking only of the day ahead of me, and believe it or not, I do come into work smiling, but then I get slapped ten times by unwanted remarks be it personal or professional. Its not enough that JCL is spreading lies and making us all look bad. Its not enough that Captains are believing the lies. Its not enough that Colonels are making shit up thinking its cool to be rude. Ughhhh…
Then comes MY PRIDE. I realized the older I get, the more it fights back. Whatever little “diplomacy” I used have has now been beaten 100 to nil in the fighting ring by my Pride. My Neurotic Iraqi Pride…
23 Comments:
Your co-workers must like you! They all took your side of it! Every time I take stand at work, my co-workers tell me I'm f'ing crazy and they get as far away from me as they can :O
So, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Most companies try not to trample on well like employees, it's bad for morale. Somebody will probably straiten out that jackass Colonel sooner or later. might be later, though, because colonel is a pretty high rank in the US military.
NIW, it only confirms something I've learned over the years about management. There's a big difference between authority, and leadership. Luck to ya, Solo
Good luck with all of your endeavors. This is only one of many stories that I have read about the managerial ineptitude of our military in Iraq.
There is a fallacy that if your in the Military, you are beyond reproach. This is more prevalent in some societies, depending on how the social engineering is going. Honorable men use to be 'led' into war, now they are 'driven' into war. It's hard to be called a leader, when standing at the back.
This is only one of many stories that I have read about the managerial ineptitude of our military in Iraq.
Don, that is beyond unfair. The US military is not used to dealing with civilians. There is no such thing as "management" in the military, in the sense that you mean it. The military has a command structure, with an orderly and well understood chain of command. failing to carry out the orders of a superior in the military is literally a crime for which one can be prosecuted. Military officers do not ask. They order. And they are not used to having to check up on people to see if what they have ordered has been done or not. An officer who tried to "manage" people in the way you suggest would be considered incompetent, and would be putting his/her career in jeopardy. I could go on, but I think I've listed enough differences.
I blame the Colonel for not adapting properly to something he's unfamiliar with. If in doubt about the appropriate way to deal with co-workers/subordinates who aren't in the military, he should have compensated by erring on the side caution. Tried being overly polite until he got his bearings. Instead, it seems he has tried to deal with civilians as if they were under his command. This is his failing, personally. It is not a fault with the US military.
I just saw his lips move, but couldn’t hear a thing. Cuz honestly, I didn’t give a damn shit.
Careful. The incident started because of poor communication between two parties. Did this exchange improve matters, or worsen them for all concerned?
Maybe if the Military doesn't understand Management, and most countries are Managed, then it's makes sense to hire Managers.
Maybe if the Military doesn't understand Management, and most countries are Managed, then it's makes sense to hire Managers.
My understanding is neurotica works for a civilian contractor in Iraq. If that's the case, then they have managers in spades already. Neurotica is probably in some level of management herself. But they have to interface with the US military, somehow. Maybe they should abstract that interaction between civilian and military a couple levels further up. It would be less efficient but perhaps less stressful for all involved.
neurotica, in case you don't know, in the US military a Colonel is a field officer. A colonel in the infantry will generally have ~5000 troops under his command. That's the equivalent of being the CEO of a pretty large company. If he's a reserve officer then his rank is less meaningful, but Colonels are not lightweights in the US military structure. It's not like some militaries where everyone is a general lol. This guy is probably not used to people getting in has face, but maybe you did him some good :D
"most countries are Managed"
Maybe the point was Iraq should be run as a Country. :-)
Maybe the point was Iraq should be run as a Country. :-)
And that would be a *good* point, too :)
But countries aren't really "managed", they are governed. Are you suggesting Iraq should be run like a giant corporation? Hmmm... dunno, has that ever been tried before?
Someone called you a Muggle? Maturity is awesome. You need a "Time Turner". Hermione Granger.., she got a "Time Turner" ordering compound value in lieu of restricted completion for what was her true heart. A "Time Turner" was a keepsake fortuning her credibility beyond feasible limitation. When remembering objects are not people we remember that the objects will still be here when the people are not. Therefore you were never even hired to be fired. I mentioned making the British fight all the wars from now on. If veins pop on your forehead you are probably from Columbia. Their's no dust there. You're husbands a good guy he's alive. You and your Boss are Fags.
<> dunno, has that ever been tried before><
It's not being tried, it's an American Reality! How's the GDP, the Stock Market, the unemployement rate, consumer confidence?
A blind man can learn the scientific facts of what the colour Red is, but he still can't see it, it is like some people.
When will you stop serving your colonial masters? Have you no dignity? No pride?
Good for you Neurotica! For taking a stand and just letting him know that you WILL not be pushed around. I think you made your point very well
Prideful. Been there, done that - it's a road to nowhere you really want to go.
When dealing with issues in the workplace, your best response is based on what you KNOW, not on how you FEEL.
You instinctively got it right with your initial comment, "Didn't really emphasize the word important." which as solomon2 pointed out, was poor communication on the Colonel's end. (programmer craig also contributed important information regarding basic military protocol.) Then, the Col. sent an e-mail which sounds like it was based on how he FELT, instead of on what he KNOWS about you (which was apparently nothing). His misguided e-mail triggered your "offense button", and you manifested angry and defensive FEELINGS. The situation continued to "go south" from there.
When the Col. showed up, you could have responded based on what you KNOW in your mind, instead of what you were FEELING. Something like: With all due respect, Col., there's a reason I've been working here for 3 years. My record speaks for itself. I don't have a reputation for "dragging my feet" (hand him a copy of his e-mail). I am continuously receiving requests, which I have to prioritize, because there is only one of me to do the work. This is simply a case of poor communication. Any request that involves an URGENT deadline needs to be clearly designated in that manner.
Something along those lines would have explained the facts as you KNOW them, without throwing in personal FEELINGS, which are difficult to defend and tends to get you into a "head butting" contest, where no one ever "wins".
Bamboo
Neurotica, I have been in the management world long enough to know that you could have just ignored him but you didn't which, to, me means that you are getting closer to the point of no return.
"Sleep on it", my father used to say "and if you still feel the same about what you did when you wake up, then you will most probably be right". Cheers.
German people built machines. The point of no return is how we get the old machines replaced.
Leo, funny you mentioned that about your father. My father says exactly the same thing. But I just couldnt let it go. I guess I need to practise how to control my anger...
Bamboo, I like that. Yes I agree with you...But he demeaned meeeeee!!!
Well Kathy, I needed to do. Because in such environment, they tend to take advantage of you if you just say yes or agree to everything you say. Besides I was fuming that day.OMG...YOu should have seen me, then again, its good you didnt :)
PG, you have many valid points. You are right,they're used to run their commands, hence their harsh behaviour. I totally agree, but still out of the many Col's Captains, be it AF guys, or army, or navy, there are just a few who are nasty. Majority of them know how to deal with civilians. But apparantely this particular one has bad history.
Solomon2, not sure if it worsened things. But I can tell u the guy when he sees me doesnt say a word. But I will let you know if i do get fired :)
Dear NIW,
I'm the new commenter -- the one who had some Army experience (3 years as a low level enlisted man) and who is now an attorney.
I have to say, first, that I agree with most of the commenters here: What I see here is a cultural problem. Among other things, Americans are very "direct"; we have a language with 600,000 words (more than any other in the world -- compare with fewer than 200,000 for German or fewer than 100,000 for French) and so we are not accustommed to "reading between the lines" or "understanding what is not said". Therefore, when you quoted the colonel's line about "dragging feet" back to him without telling him that it was from his e'mail, it was perfectly understandable that he would say, "I don't know what you are talking about". He wasn't denying what he said in the e'mail -- he just didn't see the connection between his e'mail and what you were saying to him.
Also, I'm surprised that no one has yet mentioned here that "pride" is one of Christianity's "Seven Deadly Sins". :)
RRH
Very good dear neurotica! If you put your head down, everybody will step on it! SO DON'T!and for God's sake! go out from that jungle!
Wow you have changed..
It you cannot take the heat... You are working for an O6 not a McDonald's manager.
Taji
I just saw that there was a comment by "programmer craig" to an old comment of mine. It seems to me that the problem here may possibly be between this colonel and Neurotica's immediate supervisor. It was a bit irresponsible for the supervisor to show her the email. I think that the management issues which were on my mind in the original post were as much financial as interpersonal.
I think that you're proud had been lost since you accepted to work with the occupation forces. Of course, never a colonizer respected a colonized.
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