neurotic Iraqi wife
June 29, 2008
Suicidal Iraqi Cockroaches...
This is a silly post, but I still wanna publish it. There’s this place I go to when I don’t want to have any of my “smart” conversations while smoking. At times, I just wanna get away from it all, and just sit and contemplate ALONE, without any distractions or people coming to me complaining about JCL or annoying the hell outta me. I just want some space. And believe me, in this place, I doubt the word “space” is on anyone’s dictionary.
Today, I grabbed my papers and pen, (latest trick of pretending to work : ) and Mike B, don’t you dare tell anyone my trick!!!) and disappeared to my secret place. I sat there puffing away, staring at the grey walls, then all of a sudden, I saw some movement with the corner of my eyes. I looked down and it’s a long thick trail of ants going in one direction. I dunno why, ever since I came here, I have this fascination with watching ants. I can sit there for hours just staring at them. Yeah very sad, I know. I started blowing smoke on them so in their world it would seem like a smoky sandstorm, hehe.
About 2 minutes later, a huge black cockroach appeared from the crack on the wall. It started moving towards the ants, I got all excited and focused all my attention on the confrontation that was gonna take place. It felt like watching the “Ants Gladiator” movie. I lit up another cigarette waiting in anticipation for the action to kick off. Should have brought some popcorn with me, I thought to myself. But all of a sudden and out of the blue the monster cockroach stopped midway, turned upside down, and
DIED!!!
What the hell!!! I think the 49C (120F) Baghdadi heat made it commit suicide. The full action Gladiator movie turned into a melodrama at first, with the death of the cockroach. With all excitement deflated, I decided to get back to work. As I got up, the ants started moving towards the suicidal cockroach. They gathered around it in a group and began the mission of carrying it. I was truly amazed at how precise and perfect their moves are. And no matter how many times they falter, they never give up, they keep going on. I just love that.
One of the maintenance guys came along stood next to me and started complaining about the heat.
“This feels like an oven. I feel like a chicken being grilled on the roaster” he said, while removing the cap of his iced water bottle then emptying almost all of it on his head. I stood there smiling and as I was telling him how cold it is inside, and how much I love the heat, midway through my sentence, everything turned to slow motion, and I watched in horror , him emptying the rest of the water on
MYYYYYYYYYYYYY ANTSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Noooooooooooooooo, I screamed at him. He jumped. “Whats wrong? What happened?”
You just drowned my ants!
I just what? He asked doubting the words he heard in his ears
Il namil, kitalit il namil. Gharragit hum bil may!!!! (The ants! You killed the ants! you drowned them with your water)
He stared at me with a look that I cant describe, looked down at where the ants were, shook his head and walked away murmuring some words under his breath…Lol. Thank god he knows me well enough not to think I have gone crazy. Or have I?
The Ants had a tsunami and died a horrific death. My perfect ant watching turned into an Indian horror movie (filim hindi). Yeah, what a smoke break. That’s the kinda excitement I have here in this twalled community. Not sure where the so called Emerald City is, cuz it sure aint here. We get all excited by ants, cameras, cookies, doughnuts and solar power panels. Oh and Cockroaches. Suicidal Iraqi Cockroaches…
Today, I grabbed my papers and pen, (latest trick of pretending to work : ) and Mike B, don’t you dare tell anyone my trick!!!) and disappeared to my secret place. I sat there puffing away, staring at the grey walls, then all of a sudden, I saw some movement with the corner of my eyes. I looked down and it’s a long thick trail of ants going in one direction. I dunno why, ever since I came here, I have this fascination with watching ants. I can sit there for hours just staring at them. Yeah very sad, I know. I started blowing smoke on them so in their world it would seem like a smoky sandstorm, hehe.
About 2 minutes later, a huge black cockroach appeared from the crack on the wall. It started moving towards the ants, I got all excited and focused all my attention on the confrontation that was gonna take place. It felt like watching the “Ants Gladiator” movie. I lit up another cigarette waiting in anticipation for the action to kick off. Should have brought some popcorn with me, I thought to myself. But all of a sudden and out of the blue the monster cockroach stopped midway, turned upside down, and
DIED!!!
What the hell!!! I think the 49C (120F) Baghdadi heat made it commit suicide. The full action Gladiator movie turned into a melodrama at first, with the death of the cockroach. With all excitement deflated, I decided to get back to work. As I got up, the ants started moving towards the suicidal cockroach. They gathered around it in a group and began the mission of carrying it. I was truly amazed at how precise and perfect their moves are. And no matter how many times they falter, they never give up, they keep going on. I just love that.
One of the maintenance guys came along stood next to me and started complaining about the heat.
“This feels like an oven. I feel like a chicken being grilled on the roaster” he said, while removing the cap of his iced water bottle then emptying almost all of it on his head. I stood there smiling and as I was telling him how cold it is inside, and how much I love the heat, midway through my sentence, everything turned to slow motion, and I watched in horror , him emptying the rest of the water on
MYYYYYYYYYYYYY ANTSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Noooooooooooooooo, I screamed at him. He jumped. “Whats wrong? What happened?”
You just drowned my ants!
I just what? He asked doubting the words he heard in his ears
Il namil, kitalit il namil. Gharragit hum bil may!!!! (The ants! You killed the ants! you drowned them with your water)
He stared at me with a look that I cant describe, looked down at where the ants were, shook his head and walked away murmuring some words under his breath…Lol. Thank god he knows me well enough not to think I have gone crazy. Or have I?
The Ants had a tsunami and died a horrific death. My perfect ant watching turned into an Indian horror movie (filim hindi). Yeah, what a smoke break. That’s the kinda excitement I have here in this twalled community. Not sure where the so called Emerald City is, cuz it sure aint here. We get all excited by ants, cameras, cookies, doughnuts and solar power panels. Oh and Cockroaches. Suicidal Iraqi Cockroaches…
19 Comments:
Good one NIW, I liked it. I, like yourself, also enjoy the ants' collective efforts when I have the opportunity. To me, it kind of reminds me that sometimes it takes a zillion baby steps to achieve a colossal goal (like rebuilding a nation!). Unfortunately there aren't many ants where I live. On another note, I wish all our politicians are as heat-sensitive as the cockroach! Iraqi would have been much better place by now. Well, may that's not true, cause I doubt any one of them ever had to stand in the sun or live without electricity for a couple of hours!
You certainly know how to make the best out of a bad situation over there, neurotica :)
Sounds like one of many eccentricities people have in prison.
I like stories like that one. :-)
You couldn't describe it better! I do the same thing when I go out smoking:)
Funny post NIW :) Looking forward to read more of this kind, funny, I mean:)
A)They washed a colony of ants together.
B)They're not washing ants their meeting each other for lunch.
A)No matter where they are meeting they are still struggling somewhere deep down below.
*The cockroach died. Did you photograph the cockroach. They shrink as the senses dissipate. It's the only time bugs appear human. When the prone rigor mortis affected bug senses your presence it will stretch a leg. Bug Houdini's great escape. Art in very slow motion complimenting natural chemistry. Pulsating medical supply bug for the other bugs you don't know. What are the odds of someone putting Houdini Bug out of his misery? When I was younger I would get caught up in finality. I would pitch a "Stay alive like me!", slogan at every decaying piece of matter then think about Communists. I actually used the dead bugs as part of a nuclear launch sequence for detonating empathy in... my brain. Houdini Bug was President hose faces "Big Red Button" from the desk in the Oval(egg) Office. Too bad for the President my worst fear at that point was any of the Nuclear Power Plants that surround my house. I only wanted to lose one Houdini Bug and get it over with so I'm not sure what powers my brain but if Houdini Nuclear went through...I have nothing to worry about. The End.
Hmmm, I wonder if the cockroach had been eating remnants of old cigarette butts? ;D Solo
i dont think ants die so quick.
You are right 'super hero'. Some Ants actually live and thrive underwater. All Ants can swim. I think next time smoke break happens, Neurotic will find them there.
neurotica, you made me remember my "scientific" experiments with ants. once i let an ant underwater for half an hour and apparently she died, but after some minutes she came back to life. ants are tough.
Lol, Leo the Iraqi government are like leeches moo cockroaches
PG, you think so? Poor ants
Anon, not sure if its only "prison" cuz I sure had even weirder stuff when I was younger...Ummm I used to wake in the middle of the night during school to study for finals. Id go and prepare coffee, one day, I saw a cockroach. And I hate those things, so as teh kettle boiled with my water, I pick it up and burnt it alive, I could hear the sizzling sound...eeewww...So maybe I am eccentric afterall :)
Akinoluna and Anca, glad u liked it...ITs silly, but I published it anyways
Lol Solo, could be...
Superhero and WH, actually, some were wiggling under the water, others didnt move. But I just walked away...
Tib, I love ants, I wouldnt like to have them in my house tho, but I just love watching their moves, theyre so precise. And yes very perseverant...It just amazes me how God created all these things. In Iraqi we say Subhan Allah
Iraqi, U.S Soldiers Light Up Neighborhood BAGHDAD —
At first glance it doesn’t look like much: a construction site with a large wooden box strapped to a forklift, a crane, approximately 15 Iraqi Army and Multi-National Division – Baghdad Soldiers, and a small pile of equipment. Such was the humble beginning of a project designed to deter militant and extremist activity, improve public safety and security, and ease the burdens on the growing Iraqi infrastructure. Street lights are being installed – solar-powered street lights to be precise. “The 4th Infantry Division has been the driving force through this project. (They) came in and said, ‘We want to do something to help the people, the Iraqi Security Forces,’” said Capt. Adam Levitt, a native of El Paso, Texas, who is currently serving on a military transition team from 4th Inf. Div., MND-B, as the engineer advisor for the 6th Iraqi Army Division.
From day one, the project has come from the 4th Inf. Div. and MND-B, he said. Levitt, along with Darryl Steadman, who is a civilian advisor, a translator and approximately ten IA soldiers, began to install the first four of 100 solar powered street lights June 19. Since the lights are solar powered, they do not place any burden on the Iraqi electrical grid. “Right now, the infrastructure won’t support it (this many new lights). Although Iraq is working on the electrical grid and the infrastructure … it’s not quick enough; we need something now, and this seems to be a pretty good solution,” said Steadman, a native of Denver, who is part of the military assistance team and Iraqi assistance group for the 6th IA Div., military transition team, 4th Inf. Div. Steadman is currently working with the 6th IA Div.’s engineer battalion. The lights also have other benefits. “We know this (project) is going to make a direct impact on the populace,” said Levitt. “It’s removing the darkness, the safe haven for the terrorists, for criminal activity.” Areas of little or no visibility around the road lend themselves to the emplacement of explosively formed projectiles and improvised-explosive devices, said Steadman. The lights will also benefit Iraqi Army soldiers, who work at nearby tactical check points and entry control points. “We’re already getting feedback from some of the guy’s out at the TCPs. (They) are getting pretty excited that they’re going to have some light,” said Steadman. According to Col. Ahmed Khalifa, a native of Baghdad, who serves as the commander of the engineer battalion, the lights will provide the only light at night for some areas. The installation of the first lights went smoothly. A group of IA soldiers set the light pole into place and, with Steadman’s assistance, made sure it was level and secured into place. Two other IA soldiers, in a wooden box attached to the forklift, bolted the light fixture, solar panel and its support equipment into place. “They want to be involved in this on a level that will show at least us, as advisors … that they can handle this on their own and that they’re ready to take on their mission with very little help or assistance from U.S. or coalition forces,” said Steadman. “This project has been extremely rewarding. There is something very special about seeing something evolve right in front of your eyes,” said Levitt. “Everybody’s picking up a wrench; everybody’s carrying heavy equipment. You don’t need a translator for that.” For Steadman, who served in Iraq in 2003-2004 as a member of the U.S. military, said that although he feels Iraq still has work to do, the country has come a long way. “I think this gives confidence to the people. People are driving up and down and seeing lights going in. What kind of message does this give to the people? We’re here to help, and we’re going forward; we’re not stagnant,” said Steadman. The lights, which cost approximately $4,000 each, will eventually be placed in the Muthana, Douhra, Ghazaliya and Abu Ghuraib sections of Baghdad and in the city of Taji.
Wow, it's all good in Iraq propaganda on the blog cycle now.
Thank god he knows me well enough not to think I have gone crazy. Or have I?
Not crazy. You have a sensitivity worthy of Buddha! Don't let it destroy you, as it nearly destroyed him.
I got bit by an ant once, and couldn't believe how badly it burned. It took an hour or two to stop hurting.
LT Fishman, wow. Nice post. Thanx for that!
Solomon, in one of my crazy moods, back in London, where life was utterly confusing, I infact wanted to try out Buddhism, after reading the Da Lai Lama's book the "Art of Happiness" I just loved that book. But I didnt last long...
Seraphine, Lol, me too, not once but many times, and it was by one huge one!!not the tiny ones we see...
It is always fascinating to envision what other creatures such as ants must experience of our world. They will probably be here long after we are gone.
I found your website by Googling "suicidal cockroaches" after witnessing this same phenomenon not once, but twice -- in one weekend! I am from New Orleans, LA, so I see my share of cuckaraches, but i noticed in different areas of the metro area, the sub-species of cockroaches have different temperaments. In Metairie, LA were I live now (about 2 min walking distance from NOLA), i am now surrounded by the suicidal type. All they have to do is see something that looks like it is gonna be bad (you do not have to do anything to them at all), and they flip over and die. Amazing... How do they do this? How interesting it occurs on the other side of the planet from me as well! Cockroaches may have existed for millions of years through meteor strikes and such, but I think they have gotten soft with the preponderance of humans and free places to live and free food and can't handle too much stress these days. Thank you for posting!
It cannot really have success, I suppose so.
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