neurotic Iraqi wife
March 08, 2008
My Iraqi Childhood Memories...
PART 1 of 2
He calls me just after I published my Blog post on Friday afternoon. Are we still on? Do you still wanna go? He asks. Yes I said. You suuuuuuure? You havent changed your mind after yesterday’s bombings in Karradah? No M, I still wanna go, Im waiting for you. Ok then, come outside, Im waiting in the car he said. I grabbed my handbag which I carried just for this occasion and walked fast towards the gates. I was trying to be incognito, as I didnt want anyone from work to see me. He stopped his car, and I quickly jumped in.
First thing I did was put the seat belt on, it was a natural reflex I guess. What are you doing? M asked nervously. No, dont put it on Neurotica, we dont use seat belts here, you will definitely look like an outsider if you do. So I immediately unbuckled it and sat back. As we approached the last checkpoint, M looked at me and said, this is it Neurotica, are you sure you still wanna do this? I looked him in the eye and said, M, please, we have planned this for a long time, dont worry about me, Im not scared what so ever, just drive on. He smiled and said ok this is it, this, Neurotica, IS the beginning of the RED ZONE. Welcome, welcome to your home. Welcome to Baghdad. The Real Baghdad. And so my journey began.
I coudnt believe that after almost two years, two years of being inside that gray place, that lifeless dull gray place, Im finally out. I finally got away from the prison of the Twalled green zone to my beautiful beautiful Baghdad. The real Baghdad. And it IS beautiful; I don’t care what anyone else says. As we passed that checkpoint, I took my cam out and as I was about to take pics of the Salhiya buildings, M immediately turned towards me and said, what are you doing Neurotica? Umm taking pics of the streets I said. No, not here, look there are checkpoints just infront, wait until we pass them. Suddenly I felt like a child being scolded. But at the same time, I didnt want M to be in more trouble than he was in already. He is risking his life by taking me out. So, like a good kid, I hid the cam under my scarf and waited eagerly for the right opportunity.
I haven’t told anyone of my plans except L and V. I had to give them HUBBY’s number incase they don’t hear from me by 7 in the evening. I really wanted to tell HUBBY, but I know he woulda freaked out especially after the Karradah bombings on Thursday.
M took me everywhere, from Alawee to Karkh, to Rusafa, to Mansour to Karrada, to everywhere except Adhamiyah (I cant even remember half of the names anymore). And after nearly 29 years, 29 years of just memories, 29 years of just looking at old Polaroid photos, 29 years of nostalgia, I finally saw the house, or I should say what remained of the house I used to live in as a child. My God, a rush of feelings just like a film strip passed afore my eyes. I remembered my room, I remembered my parents room and their Jacuzzi looking bath. I remembered our beautiful red tiled kitchen and the immaculately maintained garden. It was too surreal. It still is surreal after all these years.
I just couldnt believe that here I am in 2008, at 33 years of age, looking at the place where I used to play as a 4 yr old in our garden. Its funny how I can remember all these things. Even my parents get shocked at my childhood memories when I relay to them what I remember. Just staring at the wall of my house was worth this whole trip.
Can we step out M? Can we walk around here? No, its best not to Neurotica, but I will make another U-turn so you can take another look. As M did exactly that, I pressed my nose like a little child against the car window and kept saying, OMG, OMG, this is my house, this is my house M. I felt my eyes well up, I cannot describe in words no matter how much I try what I was going through during these few short moments. Short moments that last a lifetime inmy mind.
I so wished HUBBY was with me. I so wished my parents were with me, I so wished my siblings could see what my eyes were looking at. Although our beautiful house is no longer there, instead its an empty land with rubble stacked up inside of it, yet the beautifully designed arches, one of its kind at the time, miraculously appeared like a hazy mirage before me. That’s all I saw and that’s all I wanted to see. I so wanted to touch it, to feel it. I so wanted to live those memories again. My beautiful childhood memories. My Iraqi Childhood Memories…
To Be Continued…
These are the pics I took yesterday through the window of M's car...
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
He calls me just after I published my Blog post on Friday afternoon. Are we still on? Do you still wanna go? He asks. Yes I said. You suuuuuuure? You havent changed your mind after yesterday’s bombings in Karradah? No M, I still wanna go, Im waiting for you. Ok then, come outside, Im waiting in the car he said. I grabbed my handbag which I carried just for this occasion and walked fast towards the gates. I was trying to be incognito, as I didnt want anyone from work to see me. He stopped his car, and I quickly jumped in.
First thing I did was put the seat belt on, it was a natural reflex I guess. What are you doing? M asked nervously. No, dont put it on Neurotica, we dont use seat belts here, you will definitely look like an outsider if you do. So I immediately unbuckled it and sat back. As we approached the last checkpoint, M looked at me and said, this is it Neurotica, are you sure you still wanna do this? I looked him in the eye and said, M, please, we have planned this for a long time, dont worry about me, Im not scared what so ever, just drive on. He smiled and said ok this is it, this, Neurotica, IS the beginning of the RED ZONE. Welcome, welcome to your home. Welcome to Baghdad. The Real Baghdad. And so my journey began.
I coudnt believe that after almost two years, two years of being inside that gray place, that lifeless dull gray place, Im finally out. I finally got away from the prison of the Twalled green zone to my beautiful beautiful Baghdad. The real Baghdad. And it IS beautiful; I don’t care what anyone else says. As we passed that checkpoint, I took my cam out and as I was about to take pics of the Salhiya buildings, M immediately turned towards me and said, what are you doing Neurotica? Umm taking pics of the streets I said. No, not here, look there are checkpoints just infront, wait until we pass them. Suddenly I felt like a child being scolded. But at the same time, I didnt want M to be in more trouble than he was in already. He is risking his life by taking me out. So, like a good kid, I hid the cam under my scarf and waited eagerly for the right opportunity.
I haven’t told anyone of my plans except L and V. I had to give them HUBBY’s number incase they don’t hear from me by 7 in the evening. I really wanted to tell HUBBY, but I know he woulda freaked out especially after the Karradah bombings on Thursday.
M took me everywhere, from Alawee to Karkh, to Rusafa, to Mansour to Karrada, to everywhere except Adhamiyah (I cant even remember half of the names anymore). And after nearly 29 years, 29 years of just memories, 29 years of just looking at old Polaroid photos, 29 years of nostalgia, I finally saw the house, or I should say what remained of the house I used to live in as a child. My God, a rush of feelings just like a film strip passed afore my eyes. I remembered my room, I remembered my parents room and their Jacuzzi looking bath. I remembered our beautiful red tiled kitchen and the immaculately maintained garden. It was too surreal. It still is surreal after all these years.
I just couldnt believe that here I am in 2008, at 33 years of age, looking at the place where I used to play as a 4 yr old in our garden. Its funny how I can remember all these things. Even my parents get shocked at my childhood memories when I relay to them what I remember. Just staring at the wall of my house was worth this whole trip.
Can we step out M? Can we walk around here? No, its best not to Neurotica, but I will make another U-turn so you can take another look. As M did exactly that, I pressed my nose like a little child against the car window and kept saying, OMG, OMG, this is my house, this is my house M. I felt my eyes well up, I cannot describe in words no matter how much I try what I was going through during these few short moments. Short moments that last a lifetime inmy mind.
I so wished HUBBY was with me. I so wished my parents were with me, I so wished my siblings could see what my eyes were looking at. Although our beautiful house is no longer there, instead its an empty land with rubble stacked up inside of it, yet the beautifully designed arches, one of its kind at the time, miraculously appeared like a hazy mirage before me. That’s all I saw and that’s all I wanted to see. I so wanted to touch it, to feel it. I so wanted to live those memories again. My beautiful childhood memories. My Iraqi Childhood Memories…
To Be Continued…
These are the pics I took yesterday through the window of M's car...
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
18 Comments:
So SO nice and somehow very touching photos... Thank you for sharing.
Stazianah
realy realy nice photos, but let me tell you something Neurotica, you are risky......getting camera with you during making tour inside baghdad is very risky thing.
But just as Iraqi people said:
Al hamdo lellah alla alsalama (thanks God for her safety).
Having read your blog for sometime, I am not surprised at your tour. As a husband, I hope you give your 'HUBBY' some leeway when he comes unglued on yah.:-)
This comment has been removed by the author.
HELLO NEUROTICA LUV; THAT IS AN INTERESTING!; ALBEIT DARING UNDERTAKING YOU TOOK UPON YOURSELF ?!IN ORDER TO SATISFY YOUR NORMAL CURIOUS NOTION OF WHAT´S TRANSPIRED & HAS TAKEN PLACE IN YOUR AREA & THE HOUSE YOU LIVED IN AS A CHILD??!& QUITE RIGHTLY SO YOU´D LIKE FINDING OUT IF IT´S ALL AS YOU RECALL IT??!! LOVE THE PHOTOS;ARE THERE ANY OF BAB -AL MU´UATHA´AM OR IS THAT AL- A´ATHAMIYA;& NEAR IT ALONG THE RIVER "MADEENA´T AL TTIBB" THE MEDICAL CENTRE COMPLEX??IF THAT STILL EXISTS ;?!THAT IS??PLUS NEXT TO THAT AL-EEWAATHIYYA & DIJLA-ASKARI ST ALONG THE RIVER THERE??IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT OF THAT QUARTER??THAT LED TO THE OLD ELECTRICITY GENERATER STATION BUILT IN THE 40s ??"MAKEENAT AL KAHRABA´A AL 3ATEEGA"??AS MY FRIEND SAYS??!!ANY PHOTOS OF THE DIJLA-ASKARI ST LEADING FROM MADEENAT ALTTIBB TO THE WAZEERIA ALONG THE RIVER??!!AN AREA RATHER RESIDENTIAL FROM THE 30s & THE 40-s??approaching THE OLD IRON BRIDGE "AL JISSIR AL H7ADEEDY" FROM THE RISSAFFA SIDE OF THE RIVER BANK??!!IT´D BE INTERESTING KNOWING IF ANYTHING REMAINS FROM THE AREA AL-EEWAATHIYYA ;AT ALL ??! AFTER ALL THAT´S TAKEN PLACE?? YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD IS VERY INSPIRING ALTHOUGH A BIT OF A RISKY VENTURE ??!UNDERTAKEN WITH THE BEST OF NOSTALGIC & PERSONAL EMOTIONAL DESIRES THAT MOST PEOPLE; WOULD SUCCUMB TO; AS WELL;MIGHT IT EVER BE A NORMAL SAFE CITY TO STROLL AROUND IN??& JUST TO MENTION; THAT OUR CORRESPONDANTON THE BBC MIGHT BE FORGIVEN IF HE THINKS & TAKES AT FACE VALUE THE DECLARATION BY "ALMUTTTII" THAT MAHDI THUGS ARE ABSTAINING FROM VIOLENCE & CALLING A TRUCE??!! A LAUGH & A JOKE HAS MR. MUIR NEVER HEARD OF A 2 FACED DIRTY GAME;!! SAY ONE THING ;& DO ANOTHER !!PRINCIPLE IN FULL PLAY BY A SNEAKY AXIS OF EVIL LOT??!! SO UPON ATTROCITIES TAKING PLACE IT SHOULD BE THE RULE ; TO SUSPECT ALL FACTIONS INCLUDING THE SO CALLED THUGS CALLING A TRUCE??? AT ANYRATE IT IS THIS VERY SAD FACT OF FACTIONS & MILITIA THUGS THAT HAS PUT IRAQ;BAGHDAD; & THE REGION IN GENERAL IN AN UPHEAVEL LEBANON;SYRIA ETC.???!!STILL THANK YOU NEUROTICA DARLING FOR A LOVELY ILLUSTRATION & A PHOTO DIGRAM OF THE REAL BAGHDAD.ALL THE VERY BEST LUV. WWW.bfbs.com" CHEERS AS ALWAYS YOUR OLAFF
Have you ever noticed how imperfections draw the eye? Faithfully eroding surfaces controlled with the breath of a nation. What they explained to me was your house was turned into a Zebra? A lot of Zebra? I'm sorry you couldn't ride your Zebra. Dr. Jane Goodall for a day in close comfort fabricating a transition for a drug that fits like a glove. I tell you the right pair of gloves make me feel pretty fucking cool and I wouldn't want to lose them. What Rock Band? and you need embroidery next to those buttons. Excessive emotional gratification coincidentally providing fantastic drastic manipulation of our most capable collectives cutting off generational reciprocity.
(THEY SOLD SOCIAL ENGINEERING TO THE ESKIMOS IN CASE THE CARIBOU ???RUN AWAY???)
Network Diplomacy before their is nothing to let the Cat out of,...send me my wife and my money...stop staring at me and reciprocate the agenda...Direct communication is completely possible, stop defeating yourself...I am not an exercising machine... I do not live on an island with a box of gossamer wings to snack on...do they understand how many rampant females echo in my brain with direct orders to disconnect your umbilical chord and throw you a milk bottle to go...home. excluding NIW.
sorry NOT "DIGRAM" OF THE CITY BUT DIAGRAM
Ah NIW you brought a flood of nostalgia back to me. Once a year or so I go back to my old neighborhood. If somebody looked out the window of what was our old house, they would see a lone rider in a black leather jacket and sunglasses sitting on a rumbling machine staring at "their" home. What they wouldn't see is the little boy heading home to supper after a day of adventure and play. Someday you and your husband will create those memories for your little ones. You will give them a place they will someday gaze at and think,"home". Solo
Thanks for sharing.If you can tell me , where are your family now ?
Angela
This is sarcasm.
People that don't take crisis and change seriously have a very good angle and advantage. Living outside the box, alienated from the dependence of human role modeling we as the War Machine offer the perceivable conflicts wider birth in constructive efforts in which to forcefully admonish the original war as silly and rebuild a new super war with a higher attribute in Holocaust. Long Live the mother fucking Idiot! !!! whose got the the cattle for this nigga!!!
December 8, 2007 4:05 AM
Wow, very interesting that you've spent two years in the GZ without venturing out into the rest of Baghdad. Thank you for the slide show. I have thought a lot about how I would feel if I see our house in Baghdad. Wow. I hope there will soon be peace so that you can travel freely to your childhood home and anywhere in Iraq, without fear. You are brave, walla. deeri balich 3ala nefsich.
Karrada and the whole of Baghdad have become dumping grounds, a mass grave thanks to shit traitors like yourself. may you rot in your green zone.
Neurotic Iraqi Wife is responsible for bombs in Karrada?
Thanx Stazianah, it was a really beautiful day, one I will never forget.
Hey IT, I needed to take pics. But you are right, it was abit too risky, because even M felt extremely nervous everytime I took my cam out...
Hey anon, it was well worth it, but I did suffer afterwards, HUBBY was too pissed off to talk to me and my brother when I showed him the pics freaked out and asked me to promise not to ever go out again!!!Maybe I shouldnt have opened my big mouth...
Olaff, actually the nedical center is i think still there, not sure if I passed it though. God I saw so much, I dont even know what they were!!!
Solo, where do you live? It is strange isnt it, looking at what once was your house? Very emotional...
Angela, unfortunately, the last of my relatives left last summer. Actually fortunately for them. As for my own family they reside in teh Emirates, have been there ever since the 70's...
IM, how long have you been out? Yeah it was a huge risk that i took especially after the bombings, but it was well worth it.
Lol Anon, thanx...Umm as for rotting in the GZ, umm no thanx, I iwll leave it to people like yourself...
IM no worries, I get bozos like these everytime. They kinda add a smile to my day...Cuz it shows you il takhaluf...Oh well...
I haven't been to Baghdad since 1982. We lived in 7ay el muhendiseen, near shari3 falas6in - I wonder what that neighborhood looks like now. I wish I could visit sometime soon.
I'm looking forward to Part 2.
brave-neurotic-wife! many thanks for the photos. one of them left with some questions. it shows some women in the street using traditional islamic clothes, but the girls and even the young ladies are using jeans and nothing in the head. could you comment on that? could you tell us also what is that concrete compound?
Oh wow MM. Well, Altho we left here back in 79, my dad always made it a point to send us here during the summers in the 1980's. So I kinda lived a few weeks of the Iraq Iran war with the rest of my relatives. Dad always made it a point that he wants us to never lose the ties with our country. As for shari3 Falas6een, thats one hot area right now.
Hiya Tib. Yes I was surprised too to see young ladies in jeans. You see, when I ask my coworkers, they say people have to cover up. When I asked M, he said no, there are girls who walk in the tightest jeans ever. I guess it all depends on the area youre in. But I also I realized, that the majority of uncovered girls, are known to be from the Christian community. Cuz even when I was at the restaurant and I asked M about one of the women, she had gorgeous long blonde hair and was wearing denim from top to bottom. He said she probably is Christian.
As for teh concrete compound, thats Saddam's mosque. Was supposed to be the biggest in the ME. But ofcourse with the war, its construction stopped. There were plans of completing it, but then M said a certain religeous group took it over and is now occupying it!!!
Is there a way to see the stream of photos in a bigger format?One could hardly see the details.
Sam
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