neurotic Iraqi wife
March 07, 2008
Eternal Peace...
Tereza. Tereza was an Iraqi cleaner who always portrayed a happy smile on her face. She would come to my area get on her knees and scrub the floor clean. I always felt ashamed and uncomfortable seeing a lady in her age doing this. I think she was in her early fifties. Whenever I tried to stop her, or tell her its ok, you dont need to do this for me, she always smiled and said “This is my job, I get paid for this” My heart constricts every single time. She always joked around with everyone, and spoke English to all the expats, asking after their family, their children. She truly was very personable.
About two weeks ago or so, I went out to smoke in the courtyard when her colleagues rushed to me and said “did you know what happened to Tereza, did you hear?” I said no what happened. She lost consciousness last night and they took her to hospital. She is suffering from a brain hemorrhage. A brain hemorrhage? I asked, She is too young for that. Yes they replied. Two days later, Tereza passed away. There was a very solemn atmosphere all around us. Everyone knew her, everyone liked her. Everyone is definitely gonna miss her.
And to honour Tereza, and Tereza’s life, everyone, from civilians, to military to contractors, everyone from Americans to Iraqis to Brits, to all the other expats, donated to a fund that was setup to help out her family members. Not only did they donate but a special ceremony was organized to commemorate her life by inviting her husband and 18 yr old son to plant an olive branch tree in remembrance of Tereza and her sacrifices.
One Iraqi expat coworker did try to transfer Tereza to the GZ hospital, the Ibin Sina, but unfortunately the Iraqi hospital refused to release her. Apparently and I did not even know this until a few days ago, an Iraqi hospital will only release patients for them to be looked after in a military one (ie American) if and only if the Ministry of Health will issue a statement that it is not capable of treating the patient due to lack of specialists or proper medication. The lady said that there is no way for the ministry to issue such a statement because that just undermines the Iraqi health system. WHAT A FRIGGIN JOKE. WHAT IRAQI HEALTH SYSTEM? There is virtually none. And so we lost Tereza. But her memory will always remain.
I just loved the way the whole ceremony was organized. It was called “In Celebration of Tereza’s Life”. Iraqi sweets were offered to everyone. After the ceremony, my program manager asked me whether the tree planting and sweets are part of our customs. I smiled and said J, I don’t think you wanna attend any Iraqi funeral, they are far too heart wrenching and draining. And so I told him about how WE do things. It differs from family to family, but mostly its all the same.
Iraqi Muslim Way
When someone dies, a funeral is held and is only attended by the men. Women do not walk in the processions of the burial. Then the men would go to a mosque and pray on the dead person’s soul for god to forgive his sins, and to bestow his blessings upon him. After that, usually three days are appointed for the mourning family members to receive condolences from people. These are either done in a house, or a mosque. Women and men are segregated from each other. A cleric will be present reciting Quranic verses. And if no cleric is available then a CD or tape of Quranic verses is played.
Really dark black coffee is served all day long. There are no sweets, there is no food. Except on the third day, which usually is the last day, a huge banquet of food will be offered to honour the deceased.
In the olden days, you’d be able to hear the women’s wails miles and miles away. Its all so sad and heart wrenching. That’s why I tend to always avoid going. I get far too emotional, so I usually give my condolences over the phone. But some people keep count of who attends and who doesn’t. In our culture its an obligation to attend, its sort of a respect thing towards the deceased and his/or her family. And sometimes, it becomes a tit for tat situation. Where if you didn’t attend one person’s funeral, then if god forbid someone in your family passes away, then that family member would say, well so and so didn’t attend my uncle’s funeral why should I go to theirs, etc.
Depending on preferences, sometimes the women will hold weekly gatherings to accept condolences from people who couldn’t attend the 3 official days. Then comes the 40th day after the death which will also be a day of remembrance. And no we don’t go planting trees, nor do we send flowers. Here is a site I found by googling Islamic Funerals. A very interesting read.
Tereza was an Iraqi Christian lady and Im not really sure how the Iraqi Christians do it. Maybe someone reading this post can tell us. Im very curious to find out. As for Tereza, may her soul rest in peace. And may all the innocent Iraqis who lost their lives as well, may THEIR souls rest in peace... Eternal Peace…
About two weeks ago or so, I went out to smoke in the courtyard when her colleagues rushed to me and said “did you know what happened to Tereza, did you hear?” I said no what happened. She lost consciousness last night and they took her to hospital. She is suffering from a brain hemorrhage. A brain hemorrhage? I asked, She is too young for that. Yes they replied. Two days later, Tereza passed away. There was a very solemn atmosphere all around us. Everyone knew her, everyone liked her. Everyone is definitely gonna miss her.
And to honour Tereza, and Tereza’s life, everyone, from civilians, to military to contractors, everyone from Americans to Iraqis to Brits, to all the other expats, donated to a fund that was setup to help out her family members. Not only did they donate but a special ceremony was organized to commemorate her life by inviting her husband and 18 yr old son to plant an olive branch tree in remembrance of Tereza and her sacrifices.
One Iraqi expat coworker did try to transfer Tereza to the GZ hospital, the Ibin Sina, but unfortunately the Iraqi hospital refused to release her. Apparently and I did not even know this until a few days ago, an Iraqi hospital will only release patients for them to be looked after in a military one (ie American) if and only if the Ministry of Health will issue a statement that it is not capable of treating the patient due to lack of specialists or proper medication. The lady said that there is no way for the ministry to issue such a statement because that just undermines the Iraqi health system. WHAT A FRIGGIN JOKE. WHAT IRAQI HEALTH SYSTEM? There is virtually none. And so we lost Tereza. But her memory will always remain.
I just loved the way the whole ceremony was organized. It was called “In Celebration of Tereza’s Life”. Iraqi sweets were offered to everyone. After the ceremony, my program manager asked me whether the tree planting and sweets are part of our customs. I smiled and said J, I don’t think you wanna attend any Iraqi funeral, they are far too heart wrenching and draining. And so I told him about how WE do things. It differs from family to family, but mostly its all the same.
Iraqi Muslim Way
When someone dies, a funeral is held and is only attended by the men. Women do not walk in the processions of the burial. Then the men would go to a mosque and pray on the dead person’s soul for god to forgive his sins, and to bestow his blessings upon him. After that, usually three days are appointed for the mourning family members to receive condolences from people. These are either done in a house, or a mosque. Women and men are segregated from each other. A cleric will be present reciting Quranic verses. And if no cleric is available then a CD or tape of Quranic verses is played.
Really dark black coffee is served all day long. There are no sweets, there is no food. Except on the third day, which usually is the last day, a huge banquet of food will be offered to honour the deceased.
In the olden days, you’d be able to hear the women’s wails miles and miles away. Its all so sad and heart wrenching. That’s why I tend to always avoid going. I get far too emotional, so I usually give my condolences over the phone. But some people keep count of who attends and who doesn’t. In our culture its an obligation to attend, its sort of a respect thing towards the deceased and his/or her family. And sometimes, it becomes a tit for tat situation. Where if you didn’t attend one person’s funeral, then if god forbid someone in your family passes away, then that family member would say, well so and so didn’t attend my uncle’s funeral why should I go to theirs, etc.
Depending on preferences, sometimes the women will hold weekly gatherings to accept condolences from people who couldn’t attend the 3 official days. Then comes the 40th day after the death which will also be a day of remembrance. And no we don’t go planting trees, nor do we send flowers. Here is a site I found by googling Islamic Funerals. A very interesting read.
Tereza was an Iraqi Christian lady and Im not really sure how the Iraqi Christians do it. Maybe someone reading this post can tell us. Im very curious to find out. As for Tereza, may her soul rest in peace. And may all the innocent Iraqis who lost their lives as well, may THEIR souls rest in peace... Eternal Peace…
9 Comments:
May her soul rest in peace. And may God strengthen the heart of her family for their loss.
And may God give you patience and strength through your hard times.
It seems her humbleness touched your heart, she would be glad of that.
House ladies and Cleaning ladies made well with the promise of solemn dignity no matter how much anxiety you or myself guilt ourselves over. Hell of a guy, that lady, I would say. You couldn't lend a hand. I always imagined they were selling illegal substances such as Castro's Cocaine and they didn't have the heart to get me wrapped up in that business. Have you ever watched Snow White and the Seven Things? I feel exactly like one of Snow Whites birds carrying a piece of ribbon in my mouth. I want to help they don't listen to my English. They let me move something out of courtesy, meanwhile they fix up a masterpiece. Princess Jenga Tower the Cleaning Lady. Jenga is a game we stole from Asian's, not Iraqi Asians some other brown people I guess. Who cares. Princess Jenga.
The commemoration of your friends life is common to Christians. In her death she IS going to eternity with GOD her father who loved her so much that HE gave is ONLY SON to offer her eternal life - her friends and family will MISS her but she is in a much better place full of love, grace and happiness.
Mercy of God to Tereza and all Iraqis, my blogmate Neurotica:
My blog is:
http://iraqi-translator.blogspot.com
NEUROTICA LUV; IT IS INDEED SAD READING; OF A FINE LADY & KIND SOUL´S PASSING ;MAY SHE REST IN PEACE GOD BLESS HER;ANOTHER SAD LOSS AMONGST THE VERY MANY AROUND BAGHDAD;KINDEST SYMPATHIES TO YOU NEUROTICA FOR THE LOSS OF A KIND NICE HUMBLE LADY.ALL THE VERY BEST OFB REGARDS DARLING.CHRISTIANS CARRY OUT FUNERAL RITUALS IN IRAQ MUCH IN THE SAME WAY CARRIED OUT AS ;SAY IN OUR CHURCH OF ENGLAND & OR CATHOLIC OR GREEK -RUSSIAN ORTHODOX SPIRITUAL ECCLESIASTICAL PROCEDURES. DEAREST NEUROTICA LUV;ONCE AGAIN YOU´VE BROUGHT FORTH A PERSONAL SITUATION OF EVENTS TAKING PLACE AROUND YOU. GREETINGS & KINDEST OF REGARDS WWW.bfbs.com" AS ALWAYS YOURS OLAFF
Ty BlogIraqi. May everyone's soul rest in peace
Yes Anon, she touched everyone's heart with her kind smile and warm heart.
Anon, yes she definitely is in a better place..
IT!!!Welcome to the blogosphere.
Ty Olaff, I think IM gonna ask a coworker of mine, whether Iraqi Christians have the 3 day condolences thing and do they also have the 40th day...
A little late, but my condolences to her family. A lady to be looked up to. Rest in Peace dear. Solo
may her soul rest in piece.... it is really sad to hear such stories. i do not know how it all began, but for a woman to work as a cleaner in her fifties, that means she was having a REALLY hard time.... anyway i believe she is in a better place now.....
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