neurotic Iraqi wife
January 24, 2007
A Distant Memory...
Yesterday, and after 17 years, I finally saw my cousin again. I saw my cousin not in Iraq, but here in the Emirates. Yes, we left a few days back. BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) was buzzing with people. People who seemed to be leaving for a long long time. I saw families upon families pushing trolleys filled with large boxes and huge bags. Of all the times I travelled through BIAP, I really have never seen so many people travelling. It was shocking. The airport security was pretty good, just like any other international airport in the world. As I went to get searched in the women's section, the lady asked whether I was carrying a nail clip, a tweezer or pair of scissors. That impressed me, it was as if I was in a normal airport. She actually was talking to me in English, and I answered her back in Iraqi. The lady just stared and said :you are Iraqi?" I nodded, then she said but definitely living outside, I just smiled. I have no clue how can they tell whether I live inside or out, that just boggles my mind all the time.
We waited around 4 hours in the foyer before we were able to check in our luggage and go through passport control. I didnt feel the time go by, as I was enjoying listening to conversations, and watching people. I looked around and realised that all Muqtada's posters were removed, something that used to give me goose bumps. That too impressed me. I was hoping to buy a few saddam souvenirs at the small shop in the foyer, but was surprised to find out that there was nothing of Saddam. All the coins, watches, lighters, dinars they used to sell around 9 months back has all disappeared, I settled for chewing gum instead. Oh well...
After going through passport control, we had to wait another 3 hours to board our flight, so we just sat there on the worn out coaches. At first we couldnt even find a place to sit, until we saw some people leave and we ran to take their place. The speakers kept announcing flights going to Syria, Beirut, Amman, Sulaymania and Cairo. Everytime an announcement is made you would see hoardes and hoardes of people running to one gate only, gate 34. Its as if gate 34 is their only way to heaven. A new life, a new place. Their gateway to living. I found the whole experience amusing.
As HUBBY took a nap, I just sat there listening to a university professer talking about a lost dream, a mother talking to her son in Jordan telling him of all the food she got for him, an engineer talking about a conference she is going to. Meanwhile, you see two workers, boys 15 or 16 of age, race around, literally race around with their dustbin on wheels cleaning and clearing everything they see on the floor and tables. As they came near me to take HUBBY's empty pepsi can, one of them said to the other in Iraqi, she is "amreekiya", she is not married. I laughed so much and said to them in Iraqi, no Im not "Amreekiya" and I am married to the man next to me. Their mouths just dropped and they murmered to each other "hi 6il3at 3ira8iya" (She turned out to be Iraqi) and scooted away. The funniest part is when they get their vacuum cleaner and ask people to put their legs up so they can clean beneath it.
Finally after a gruelling wait and a flight time of 2 and a half hours we reached Dubai. We took a cab and off we went to Abu Dhabi. By the time we reached our abandoned appartment, we were just exhausted but It felt real good to be back. Been spending most of the time with family and just plain relaxing. HUBBY still wanted to go to India, so we applied for the visa and hopefully by tomorrow it will be ready.
As for my cousin, my cousin F, he left Baghdad for good 3 months ago. His mom, my dad's sister, used to call my parents telling them how stressed out she is because of the situation around them. My aunt L, the strongest of my dad's siblings, never ever complained. Never wanted to leave Iraq. Infact, she had many chances to leave, yet she always said, "I will never leave my home, never". But things became really dangerous for them, especially in their neighbourhood. They lived in Adhamiya, a place where sunni's and shia's used to live harmoniously together, not any more. My father tried to get them a visit visa to come to the Emirates, but was refused. Until one day, F called my father and told him that aunt L is extremely sick. They found a lump on her spine and there's no doctor that can tell whether its malignant or not. My father then tried to get the family a visa for medical purposes and thank god that worked.
Unfortunately, the doctors here discovered that my aunt L is at a very developed stage of cancer. Ever since she came here, she has been staying in hospital. Aunt L completed her radiotherapy treatment and although she was supposed to start her chemo, she along with the doctors decided not to go ahead as the cancer is spreading at a very fast rate. I met F for the first time yesterday in 17 years. We laughed at how ironic it is we meet here and not Baghdad. He looked exhausted and distraught. His mom was his backbone. His strength.
He believes that his mom's illness is a result of whats happening right now in Iraq. He also said that he knows of many people who are developing cancer, high blood pressure, and other illnesses all due to the dire situation in Iraq. His words to both me and HUBBY, forget Iraq. Iraq is gone. Iraq is no more. Iraq developed a cancer that no Bush strategy nor Maliki strategy can treat it. Nothing can. Not you, not the Americans, and definitely not the government. Iraq has become infested with fatal cancerous cells and right now its dying a slow death. A slow and a painful death. I will never go back he said, I dont want to ever go back. For me, Iraq is dead. For me Iraq killed my mother. For me, Iraq is just a memory. A Distant Memory...
Some videos I took while in the Plane, and please dont make fun of me, I know I sounded corny when I saw Baghdad from the air. I cringe every time I hear my "Oh wow, its beautiful". But I guess I was too excited to see my country, even if it means from the air.
We waited around 4 hours in the foyer before we were able to check in our luggage and go through passport control. I didnt feel the time go by, as I was enjoying listening to conversations, and watching people. I looked around and realised that all Muqtada's posters were removed, something that used to give me goose bumps. That too impressed me. I was hoping to buy a few saddam souvenirs at the small shop in the foyer, but was surprised to find out that there was nothing of Saddam. All the coins, watches, lighters, dinars they used to sell around 9 months back has all disappeared, I settled for chewing gum instead. Oh well...
After going through passport control, we had to wait another 3 hours to board our flight, so we just sat there on the worn out coaches. At first we couldnt even find a place to sit, until we saw some people leave and we ran to take their place. The speakers kept announcing flights going to Syria, Beirut, Amman, Sulaymania and Cairo. Everytime an announcement is made you would see hoardes and hoardes of people running to one gate only, gate 34. Its as if gate 34 is their only way to heaven. A new life, a new place. Their gateway to living. I found the whole experience amusing.
As HUBBY took a nap, I just sat there listening to a university professer talking about a lost dream, a mother talking to her son in Jordan telling him of all the food she got for him, an engineer talking about a conference she is going to. Meanwhile, you see two workers, boys 15 or 16 of age, race around, literally race around with their dustbin on wheels cleaning and clearing everything they see on the floor and tables. As they came near me to take HUBBY's empty pepsi can, one of them said to the other in Iraqi, she is "amreekiya", she is not married. I laughed so much and said to them in Iraqi, no Im not "Amreekiya" and I am married to the man next to me. Their mouths just dropped and they murmered to each other "hi 6il3at 3ira8iya" (She turned out to be Iraqi) and scooted away. The funniest part is when they get their vacuum cleaner and ask people to put their legs up so they can clean beneath it.
Finally after a gruelling wait and a flight time of 2 and a half hours we reached Dubai. We took a cab and off we went to Abu Dhabi. By the time we reached our abandoned appartment, we were just exhausted but It felt real good to be back. Been spending most of the time with family and just plain relaxing. HUBBY still wanted to go to India, so we applied for the visa and hopefully by tomorrow it will be ready.
As for my cousin, my cousin F, he left Baghdad for good 3 months ago. His mom, my dad's sister, used to call my parents telling them how stressed out she is because of the situation around them. My aunt L, the strongest of my dad's siblings, never ever complained. Never wanted to leave Iraq. Infact, she had many chances to leave, yet she always said, "I will never leave my home, never". But things became really dangerous for them, especially in their neighbourhood. They lived in Adhamiya, a place where sunni's and shia's used to live harmoniously together, not any more. My father tried to get them a visit visa to come to the Emirates, but was refused. Until one day, F called my father and told him that aunt L is extremely sick. They found a lump on her spine and there's no doctor that can tell whether its malignant or not. My father then tried to get the family a visa for medical purposes and thank god that worked.
Unfortunately, the doctors here discovered that my aunt L is at a very developed stage of cancer. Ever since she came here, she has been staying in hospital. Aunt L completed her radiotherapy treatment and although she was supposed to start her chemo, she along with the doctors decided not to go ahead as the cancer is spreading at a very fast rate. I met F for the first time yesterday in 17 years. We laughed at how ironic it is we meet here and not Baghdad. He looked exhausted and distraught. His mom was his backbone. His strength.
He believes that his mom's illness is a result of whats happening right now in Iraq. He also said that he knows of many people who are developing cancer, high blood pressure, and other illnesses all due to the dire situation in Iraq. His words to both me and HUBBY, forget Iraq. Iraq is gone. Iraq is no more. Iraq developed a cancer that no Bush strategy nor Maliki strategy can treat it. Nothing can. Not you, not the Americans, and definitely not the government. Iraq has become infested with fatal cancerous cells and right now its dying a slow death. A slow and a painful death. I will never go back he said, I dont want to ever go back. For me, Iraq is dead. For me Iraq killed my mother. For me, Iraq is just a memory. A Distant Memory...
Some videos I took while in the Plane, and please dont make fun of me, I know I sounded corny when I saw Baghdad from the air. I cringe every time I hear my "Oh wow, its beautiful". But I guess I was too excited to see my country, even if it means from the air.
37 Comments:
Never, never, never give up
I had the same feeling when I left Iran in 1979 during the Mullahs' revolution. Looking back, everything happens for a reason, I am a better person and wiser because of my experiences. I had to live in 3 different countries before settling in the US. Read any book about the WWII and you hear the same despair and sounds fo depression about their countries...But look at the prosperity the Europe has enjoyed...look at Japan, look at S.Korea after their independence.
Nothing stays the same for ever and looking at the history, things DO get better ..believe or not. Remember
Just when the
caterpillar
thought the
world was over,
it became
a butterfly.
عيوني نيوروتك
سلامة عمتج ...أنشالة الله يشفيها
أكولج ترة هاي أني كتبتلج كبل حبج لازم يطلقج .. ترة جنت أتشاقه وياج عيني لا تزعلين وردة انت .. سورري..أني أسف
____________________________________
To hope and dream that Iraq will get better doesn't mean that it will be better.
To hope and dream that Iraq will get better doesn't mean that it will be better.
But to just accept failure, guarantees it. Positive action now is all that will make any hopes and dreams come true.
What kind of Positive action do you mean?
The primary problem with Iraq is not electricity. It is not lack of water or sewer. It is not garbage accumulation. It is not Americans. It is not Iranians or Syrians.
The problem with Iraq is one of "human resources." The power to fix Iraq lies within the brain cells of every living Iraqi. The power to make a complete anarchic violent mess also lies within those same brain cells.
Sadly, we can see which cells are being dominant at this time.
Even more sadly, fixing sewers, generators, and water pumps is vastly, vastly easier than fixing the brain cells of Iraqis. People don't change quickly.
Dear Original_Jeff
1)From what condition of brain cells to another condition of brain cells do you want to fix Iraqi brain cells?
and ....
2)How do you want to achieve (in practical means) fixing the brain cells of every living Iraqi?
....can you explain please?
Many Thanks
By "brain cells", what I meant, of course, was the thoughts, attitudes, memories, and beliefs of Iraqis, which are stored within the cells of the brain.
I wish Iraqi brain cells held similar thoughts as those found in Canadians, Japanese, Germans, British, Dutch, French, Swedes, Norwegians, Belgians, and many others who manage to build and maintain peaceful, prosperous, and successful liberal democratic countries.
I don't know of any great way to change people. Maybe people don't change at all and all you can hope for is a generational change over 20 years or so.
Many thanks for your reply..
hihi....you didn't include Americans in your list... "Canadians, Japanese, Germans, British, Dutch, French, Swedes, Norwegians, Belgians."
You say...
"I don't know of any great way to change people. Maybe people don't change at all and all you can hope for is a generational change over 20 years or so."
So you don't know any great way to change people and all you can do is hope for a generational change over 20 years or so.
But if we hope for is a generational change does it mean that we will have a generational change?
What is the causal relationship between hope and reality?
Kind regards my friend
NIW,
Welcome back to my homeland :)
If you or hubby are walking by memzar beach please say hi to the little fishies there and if you see a crab then stop to admire it before it dips away.
Lucky you. Glad you had the chance to see aunti L. Interestingly we have quite a few Iraqi family members in Sharjah, they arrived around 2002-2003 just when things started to get hot. Back in the days of the 1970s Iraq was actually the cool place to be. Consequently a few of my family members went there and married Iraqi guys (mainly shi3a, but that was ok even though they're sunni).
Anyway now 30 yrs on they left everything they had to come here and start literally from zero. Really breaks my heart. Reminds me of Palestine in 1948 and Lebanon in 1975 or 2006...
Anyway everywhere has a future including Iraq. Inshalla kheir, but it might not be immediately obvious to us.
I was actually offered a job in Baghdad by a good friend of mine. Mother would flip. However, it would be so interesting a country to visit.
Salawa6i da2iman li 3iraq salem wa aamin li ahliha al 3iraqiyeen. amen.
I forgot to add the most important bit. Min a3az asdiqa2 al walida sayida ismha Um Sabba7.. laqad atat ila al imarat fee 3aam 2003 wa lil asaf asabaha marad al sara6an. Allah yishfeeha. Wa lakin a3tiqd ana sabbab al marad lays kibar al sin bal al azma al da2ima fil 3iraq. lil asaf.
3indama narahum nasma3 al sa3ada fi saw6ihim.. walakin wojoohahum tarwi qusattan ba2isa wa 7azeena.
Allah ye3een.
N.I.W. I'm glad you got a chance to relax, see your cousin again after such a long time, and visit with family. Now tell me, is it nice and warm in the UAE? I'm getting awful tired of winter, but we've had several years of drought, and the amazing amount of snow we've had will be good in the long run. You and your husband have great trip!
Welcome back to the UAE....hope you enjoy your time off....
Anon, do u see any light coming thru? Cuz I sure dont
Frieda, yes I do blv that everything happens for a reason, but what did the Iraqis do to deserve whats happening to them right now? What did the child that lost his parents in an explosion do to deserve losing his only family???
Sa3ooda, btw, anee hem agulla i think its better if he leaves me, since his priority is work work work...Bes howa imchallab biya, lol...just kidding...
Anon, no one is accepting failure, but go and live there and tell me how can u tell these people that there is hope? Cuz right now, they have none, nothing to look forward to.
Buj, I cant blv its cold here, hi laish???Its definitely global warming!!! Yes its sad, my aunt, who my family visits regularly has very limited time left. I think everyone is psyched up and telling themselves that any day can be the day. I didnt get a chance to see her. My mom told me its better not or else I will get extremely stressed out as I get very emotional. But Inshallah once I get back from my trip I will see her. BTW goodluck on the football!!! I hope UAE gets the cup. Was pretty bummed out that Iraq went out of the game!!!
Hey Solo, thanx..Umm its actually cold here, and the first few days I was here it was raining!!! I thought I would be wearing my tshirts, fat chance...Im still in my baghdad clothes!!!we're going to India, finally got the visas, and I heard mumbai is pretty hot now, so im lookin forward to that...
DXB, heyyyyy....thanx....
Hopeless people don't murder each other. Not everyone in Iraq is "without hope" for the future. All the combatant factions are hoping to achieve their goals. And one of them will, if the rest of Iraqis sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Sorry for the blunt language, but that's the naked truth.
Well, anyway... Wonderful videos, NIW, thank you very much for uploading them for us :)
NIW -
I follow your blog and actually look forward to reading you and the latest from your world. I've never posted a comment before - I just wanted you to know that there are people out here that prays and hope things will get better inshaAllah for everyone in Iraq.
I'm sorry to hear about your aunt and my heart goes out to your cousin and your family.
I'm really glad to read you've made it out and you're on vacation with your hubby!! I guess you'll be wearing your t-shirt then in India ;). When you were looking at places to go for vacation - I was going to suggest you come to my neck of the woods - Hawaii but thought it was probably too far? Maybe next time?
Take good care of yourself and warmest regards and aloha to you and your family.
NIW -
I follow your blog and actually look forward to reading you and the latest from your world. I've never posted a comment before - I just wanted you to know that there are people out here that prays and hope things will get better inshaAllah for everyone in Iraq.
I'm sorry to hear about your aunt and my heart goes out to your cousin and your family.
I'm really glad to read you've made it out and you're on vacation with your hubby!! I guess you'll be wearing your t-shirt then in India ;). When you were looking at places to go for vacation - I was going to suggest you come to my neck of the woods - Hawaii but thought it was probably too far? Maybe next time?
Take good care of yourself and warmest regards and aloha to you and your family.
hala ya NIW... just noticed two things popping up!
1-just seen your OTHER picture hidden on the right.. my monitor is tiny and can't show the whole width of your blog.. pic made me smile.. ur hiding ur eye with ur hair then u got the double ring ready in the face of the world.. very nice :)
allah yekhaleelek ur hubby wo ye7fa'6o.
2-the two cool videoclips.. hehe i didn't see those the first time! nice recordings but i would rather see the clip of the two kids who called u ajnabiya amreekiya hehe.. and i've been thinking (all day) did u have to move ur hubby's feet for them to clean under? i bet they didn't call him ajnabi hehe
well well.. as usual thnx for posting us ur news.. always looking forward for more..
3ala fikra.. tfaddali 3ala mdawinti.. 3indi video bas min noo3 thani.. noo3 aqwa .. noo3 tarikhi wo museeqi..
um el taqs... sh7aaaaalech? :)
el baab maftoo7,, tfa'6alee tfa'6alee ya u5ti ya hala...
Hi NIW,
I'm glad to see you started your vacation. I hope you have a nice, relaxing time. :)
Thank's for the videos.
I'm looking forward to your pictures of India. ;)
I know it's hard to keep up hope in all this mess. But sometimes you can find it in the strangest places.
No pictures of Muqty at the airport, huh? I'd say that's good.
NIW,
Great post! I'm glad you finally got to meet your cousin after seventeen years. I'm sorry for your aunt, best regards in that situation. I liked your description of Baghdad International. It sounds like things are returning to normal at the airport, at least. Hey, the videos were cool. Don't cringe when you hear your voice over the camera. It's a hell of a lot better than mine!
Don't lose hope! It is so sad to hear of all the Iraqis leaving. I know that it is dangerous and I know that I'd do the same to protect my family, but Iraq needs all of you at the same time. It is a dilemma for sure. At least I feel sure (easy for me to say) that people will return and will have the ability to do so, unlike in Palestine where every person who "leaves" is a victory for Israelis, another piece of land they can snatch.
Thanks for the videos NIW. Honestly, if all I had to gone on was your voice, I would swear you were my Aunt who lives in Florida. You sound JUST like her.
I think you should post more videos more often. Really brings a deeper dimension to your writing.
Also, Sri Lanka is a lot like India. If you can't get visa's to India, you can get a visa upon arrival in Sri Lanka. Mirissa is the best beach spot and Ella is THE most beautiful place on Earth.
Heyyyyy...
sorry for not visiting since a long time. do visit us every now and then.
i liked ur indulgent interview. ur voice ain't half bad.
i think you've overplayed the fact that you can't believe people think you're unIraqi, have u looked at regular Iraqi niswan? they've all worn hijab and have big noses by now.
I liked the videos. It is sad to see the present dire security situation of Iraq in general and Baghdad in particular. Who is responsible for this mess? Undoubtedly Bush. This man expected a cakewalk when he sent his 'finest army in the world'. This surge which is being touted as a 'chance' is not going to work.
The readers would be interested to know the day to day life in the Green Zone where you are living. How did you manage to arrive at the airport? We are just curious.
Have a nice time in Dubai.
Hmmmm You must be one of the many Iraqi's on the flight out of Baghdad to ignore the request to turn off all electronic devices!!! I see them every time I fly, the poor flight crew try and try only to be abused and ignored. My understanding is that it interferes with navigation instruments...guess that means nothing to you. My point being, if you cant understand that simple request how do you expect a country of people like you to accept a change to the running of their country. The answer lies in the flight out of Baghdad, NOBODY LISTENS!!! not even those claiming to "help their homeland"
Dear Anonymous said...5:18 PM
I think your comment, is extremely harsh.
You may have a point by mentioning, that ignoring some safety instructions is wrong.
But you inference and the sweep generalization is certainly wrong.
There are many examples of peaceful countries in the third world, where citizens completely ignore safety instructions.
Saying that.. I am not encouraging the neglect of safety instructions.
On the other hand, I am trying to elaborate, that the problem of Iraq and Iraqis is a very complex phenomena.
We cannot build a conclusion based on your observation of the flights out of Baghdad. It is more complicated than this observation.
NIW: You are incredibly positive and I'm struck by your love for your country. Meanwhile, I hope your India trip materializes and let me know if you need any tips about travelling to India.
NIW hope you are having a 'relaxing' time in Mumbai-that's not where I'd go for some R&R, but whatever. Have a good time.
I agree with the others who hope for more videos. Maybe it's hard to take videos of the Green Zone? Wonder why....? What we are most interested in is video footage of REAL Iraqis living life under forgien occupation. Is it possible for you, an Iraqi, to give the rest of the world an idea of what it is like to be an everyday Iraqi during these times? Why are you so afraid to document the reality of those you claim to be helping?
Very glad you got out safely for the vacation. Is this really just "R&R"? or will you be returning to Iraq and your job.?
I wish I was on that plane ;'(
Marhaba ukhti.
May Allah keep you safe o ur travels.ameen. SubhanAllah, i have lernt soo much aboutiraq in the last 3 months, im proud of my iraqai bros n sister who continually strive hard for the basic things in life. May Allah make iraq sucessfull and grant all the ummah there peace and strength in iman and health and wealth.ameen.
la howla wa la quwatta illah billah.
hiyyak Allah.
Maryamkim
i left such a beautiful country, i wish i died. everyone responcible will be the price.
hey niw!
a short intermezzo @ kid:
what's with the big noses??
:))
Iraqis Break Old Record Kill 305 Huge Truck Bomb
allah uno, allah dos, allah tres
Hopefully you and HUBBY will use this opprotunity to start a new life in a safer land. If not, I agree that you should show more video footage of everyday Iraqi life outside of the green zone.
I live far away from Iraq. Yet your blog makes me feel empathy for the real people of Iraq, the ordinary people who just want to live their lives. In a sense, you are a true journalist, no matter your misspellings, no matter what you do out of English grammar. Through your marvellous description of the Green Zone one gets to live, by proxy, the hard life other human beings do live. For, beyond races, cultures or sectarian interests, we humans are all one. Or perhaps we'll one day be one, just one race. But, again, thanks for your blog. It is so real, so authentic it makes one shiver. Thanks.
hold on just a little longer, beautiful iraqi lady...soon there will be a new administration in this country...hopefully, less blood thirsty...many here are with you...our prayers are with you beautiful iraqi lady...pray for peace as we are doing here...all the prayers cannot be ignored...PEACE!
Post a Comment
<< Home