neurotic Iraqi wife
May 18, 2005
Incense of Life....(Updated with a Pic)
This may be the last post I can write in a long long time. There are so many things on my mind and I have to admit that Im scared. Yes, scared. Really scared. Not scared for my life cuz that has already been planned out for me, but scared for my marriage. As much as I love my husband I keep begging God, praying that he's worth all this. Im ashamed, real ashamed admitting this but its the truth. This will either break us or make us and Im praying its the latter.
I sound like the most ungrateful wife alive,no??? I dunno, I dunno if what Im feeling is natural, I dunno anymore. I cant believe am going to Baghdad after all this time, I really cant but most importantly I cant believe that I will finally be with HUBBY...And just thinking about that makes me anxious, real anxious.
Another thing worrying me is my family. Im gonna worry about my family worrying about me all the time. Im gonna miss them immensely, Im gonna miss just being here with them. My family supported me through all my tough and rough times, they were always here with open arms, ALWAYS....They taught me the real meaning of unconditional love and I sure do love them with every nerve of my being....
Most of you know why I started this blog.You accompanied me through a real tough journey, a journey filled with ups and downs but most of all it was a journey of learning and accepting. A journey of faith and patience. Im writing this now and my emotions are going haywire. I really really am gonna miss writing, miss smiling at the comments and most of all Im gonna miss having you accompany me to the next stage of my life....And that for me is SAD, really sad. But it wont be for long....
I met people from all over the world, from all walks of life, damn I have goose bumps now....I wanna thank every single person who visited my blog and had to endure all the silly ramblings of a mad Iraqi wife. I especially wanna Thank Dave, Chris, Umhakima, Stephie, Ihath, Sami, Ahmad, Sara, Fayrouz, Liminal, Tilli, Misterghost, madtom, Najma, AnaRki13. I also wanna thank Emigre for introducing my blog through the IBC. A huge thank you also to ITM for including my blog on their inspirational site, I wish you all the best. I forgot to mention Dave Schuler who also introduced my blog to a wider audience. Brianh thanx for correcting my spelling,hehe. No matter how many thank you's I say its not really gonna be enough. But be sure that each one of you, left a huge impact, even the anonymous comments were great....I apologise for leaving anyone out....
This is definitely not a Goodbye, for goodbyes tend to always be painful. This is just a see you soon kind of thing and a dont forget me post,hehe.... Wish me luck for I need it and I hope Ill be receiving emails from all of you while Im in Iraq. Although its my country, I know am gonna be a lonesome stranger for some time.....
Oh and by the way,if anyone out there needs someone to pack their luggage, just whistle, for I believe I have become "THE" packer of the year. As much as I hated packing my bags, it has become second nature. I know how to utilise every bloody space available, so whenever you are going away and dont feel like packing think of me and smile.....It can be extremely FUN you know, just ask me,lol....
Well, I better go back and finish what I have started. The incense is burning, the Incense of Life.....
My sweet young sister is a fashion designer and has done this Tshirt for me to wear in Baghdad,lol....
I sound like the most ungrateful wife alive,no??? I dunno, I dunno if what Im feeling is natural, I dunno anymore. I cant believe am going to Baghdad after all this time, I really cant but most importantly I cant believe that I will finally be with HUBBY...And just thinking about that makes me anxious, real anxious.
Another thing worrying me is my family. Im gonna worry about my family worrying about me all the time. Im gonna miss them immensely, Im gonna miss just being here with them. My family supported me through all my tough and rough times, they were always here with open arms, ALWAYS....They taught me the real meaning of unconditional love and I sure do love them with every nerve of my being....
Most of you know why I started this blog.You accompanied me through a real tough journey, a journey filled with ups and downs but most of all it was a journey of learning and accepting. A journey of faith and patience. Im writing this now and my emotions are going haywire. I really really am gonna miss writing, miss smiling at the comments and most of all Im gonna miss having you accompany me to the next stage of my life....And that for me is SAD, really sad. But it wont be for long....
I met people from all over the world, from all walks of life, damn I have goose bumps now....I wanna thank every single person who visited my blog and had to endure all the silly ramblings of a mad Iraqi wife. I especially wanna Thank Dave, Chris, Umhakima, Stephie, Ihath, Sami, Ahmad, Sara, Fayrouz, Liminal, Tilli, Misterghost, madtom, Najma, AnaRki13. I also wanna thank Emigre for introducing my blog through the IBC. A huge thank you also to ITM for including my blog on their inspirational site, I wish you all the best. I forgot to mention Dave Schuler who also introduced my blog to a wider audience. Brianh thanx for correcting my spelling,hehe. No matter how many thank you's I say its not really gonna be enough. But be sure that each one of you, left a huge impact, even the anonymous comments were great....I apologise for leaving anyone out....
This is definitely not a Goodbye, for goodbyes tend to always be painful. This is just a see you soon kind of thing and a dont forget me post,hehe.... Wish me luck for I need it and I hope Ill be receiving emails from all of you while Im in Iraq. Although its my country, I know am gonna be a lonesome stranger for some time.....
Oh and by the way,if anyone out there needs someone to pack their luggage, just whistle, for I believe I have become "THE" packer of the year. As much as I hated packing my bags, it has become second nature. I know how to utilise every bloody space available, so whenever you are going away and dont feel like packing think of me and smile.....It can be extremely FUN you know, just ask me,lol....
Well, I better go back and finish what I have started. The incense is burning, the Incense of Life.....
My sweet young sister is a fashion designer and has done this Tshirt for me to wear in Baghdad,lol....
29 Comments:
NIW,
Why can't you post from Baghdad?
We want to continue hearing from you. Especially an Iraqi native returning to her home country.
We need fresh and unbiased appraisals of the situation there, especially from someone who writes as well as you.
Please...Please keep posting.
Thanks.
Nile The River
Wow...I want to say that I can image how excited/scared/etc. you are, but I can't. I can't even begin to grasp it.
I will be thinking about you, and looking forward to when you wave to us from the other side!
Whether it's (a) the Time of the Moon,
or it's (b) Our Dear Neurotica Saying Au Reviour,
I know I'm not the only one crying right now.
Love, Tilli
أهدي إليك هذه الأبيات
---------
مرينه بيكم حمد واحنه ابقطار الليل
وسمعنه دك اكهوه او شمينه رحة هيل
ياريل صيح ابقهر صيحة عشك ياريل
هودر هواهم ولك حدر السنابل كطه
---------
Hey, little darlin', don't be a stranger. We've gotten to know and love you and want to hear how things are going once you get back with that big, handsome, scary guy and settle down to domestic bliss in your homeland.
Sissy Willis
sisu
I hope you'll be able to keep posting while in the IZ (International Zone). There are internet cafe's there that are quite reasonable in price. The last time I looked it was $3/hour.
You'll get there just in time for the hot season too. Don't forget to drink lots of water.
I wish you well in this long awaited adventure. You do have my admiration in going; there are so many people who whine, complain, and ring their hands. But so many do nothing else.
You will meet and work with many American soldiers. You will many good, dedicated soldiers and you will meet some slugs. Please remember that most are dedicated to making life better for Iraqis.
On a side note, I wish someone in this country would open an Iraqi restaurant. I would love some kabobs and bread again.
Regards, Raven
Dear NIW,
I send you a big cyber hug in this comment.
As another crazy Iraqi woman -- that's me -- who moved from continent to another to follow her heart, I understand every word you wrote here.
You're not silly. You made us all believe in the power and importance of love.
Please, don't stop blogging.
Hey there, NIW... its funny that I still use that lamin a3ruf 2ismich bas shukrun for a lot. You are one of the writers who speaks ur mind no matter what anyone may think, you also have been inspirational in making me realise that expressing ideas opinions and thoughts is not something unhealthy, on the contrary it can have quite the opposite effect. Its sad you will be leaving the building behind my compound ;)
I want to say thanks and best luck, thanks for helping through my anxiety period, and I know that you will end up happy. Hopefully you will find happiness and bliss and don't forget the vicious Iraqi circle of the city we live in. :)
Deer balich 3ala nafsich.
It has been a joy to be part of your support group,
and look forward to reports from Iraq.
Just remember we’re just a click away.
Best Wishes,
Don From Dallas
Well, I find I have no words for Neurotic Iraqi Wife As she says goodbye to her old life, and prepares to embark on a new journey, and a new life. So I will just quote my favorite book:
"Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea:
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar,
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known."
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
If your ever lost in the wild, remember these words.
Oh and remember that once you in Iraq, in the war zone, you will be able to finally see my blog. Good luck and good journeys, and good hunting.
Good Luck, Neurotic Iraqi Wife and I did an original artwork for you!
Best Wishes.
MG
I finally met the legend by coincidence tonight. She was with her friends eating and i was watching the most important soccer match of my year at the same place coincidentally..... it was funny i wanted to wish NIW best luck and say bye but her friend beside her kept staring back as if to say stop trying to look she is taken ..... it was funny to me anyways... she is as kind and sweet in real life as she is on here and she deserves the amount of respect and admiration that all you people give her. It was a pleasure meeting you and inshallah kul shee goes according to what makes u happy.
Good luck, we'll be thinking of you.
I hope we will hear from you again and soon. A new perspective about what it looks like, smells like, tastes like, everything.
tell us all cause we are starving for it.
Welcome home NIW!
We're gonna miss your beautiful posts. I hope you resume posting soon.
The t-shirt is awesome...I need to get me one like that too! Very sassy and sexy...;-)
Now your marriage will truly begin. Being afraid, worried, apprehensive, etc. is perfectly normal when a woman leaves her family - pretty soon, you will see your life with your husband as the family you will never want to leave - especially when the little ones arrive. You'll actually get to the point where you couldn't even fathom moving back home - yes, it is true, but that's what growing up is all about. Take Care. I am sure you'll be able to blog in Iraq too, so make sure you take a laptop with satellite capabilities, etc. God Bless
Joanne
Be well and safe.
If you are able, anything posted at all will be so appreciated. Heck, what did you have for lunch?!
I know that I will be checking back, heck I still try to check Sgt. Hook!
Sami, no fair!
Dave Glaspell
glaspelld001@hawaii.rr.com
Just recently found your blog and loved it. Thank you for your always riveting posts.
I'll keep checking back and hope you'll be able to keep posting.
Bon Voyage and Good Luck
Honey, love the t-shirt, but you're really tiny :- )
More later. I'll keep you apprised on the adventures here.
Remember, you have a hell of a lot of people in your corner.
Dave
I hope that you are safe and look forward to reading about your adventure. Loved the shirt by the way. :)
I have, what probably is, a stupid question.
I'm currently working just outside of Baghdad and have worked in Baghdad for a few months before that.
Why is it, when we conduct regular searches of people's homes (Yes, I'm in the US Army), do all the women feel the need to cover up their faces. It isn't as though we are there to meet women.
Most of the time they just all crowd into a corner and giggle at us.
Anyway, I'm basically trying to figure out why Iraqi (and possibly Arabic) woman are not so social...heh.
Again, I'm sure this is a stupid question but I figure I should ask it instead of guessing.
Dear Lady NIW:
WHAT?
anyway congrats and excuse me cuz i havent been here for sooooo long.
forgive me again..
pls be careful!
and Welcome to the Jungle!
be careful again!
salam to u and the family.
Of course, I'm including this post in the Carnival today. Best of luck and don't be a stranger! Write if you get the chance.
Best of luck NIW! We will miss you, but you must promise to write more when you can and let us know how things are going. Don't be afraid!! You have a great life and you are in historical times- you will be able to tell your children how brave you were and how amazing the things you have seen and experienced when you were rebuilding a free Iraq! Things will turn out much better than you even think they can!
"...the incense of life."
Godspeed, NIW! Your post is so sweet, it made me cry!
God be with you and yours...today and always. Hope to see you back here soon
Hi Neorotic Iraqi Wife,
How are you doing? I hope all is well with you and your hubby. Regardless of my lack of posting comments, I am still keeping up with your posts and am happy that you are going back to Baghdad to be with your husband. It must be a worry to go back living there under the strict dangerous conditions, bas inshaAllah 3alal kheir ya neorotic Iraqi wife. May you get there safely.
Always keep up with your blog posting, and make the most of what you can with your hubby in Iraq. Many people dread to be able to go back, even though it ain't that great!
All the best sis,
Sara
PS: Love the T shirt your sis made for ya! Think it Suits just right for ya! :)
Hey, you really have a great Blog there I'm definately going to
Hi,
I run a model agency, and I own the Miss Iraq, Mister Iraq, Miss Teen Iraq and Super Model of Iraq trademarks, I organized the Miss Iraq 2006 in Baghdad, which was a bust. and in 2007 held it with the Iraqi Jewish Community in Izmir-Turkey and in 2008 in Nice-France.
I am compiling photos of past winners, models, Iraqi models from the 1970's for a website that I want to simply call Iraqi Beauties, could you help me with that.
I can't seem to be able to get photos of Wijdan Sulyman, the 1972 Miss Iraq and Kholoud Murad Al Sheikh, teh 1973 winner, if you could help with that I would really appreciate it.
here is my personal email
ahmed.kadret@gmail.com
Cheers
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