neurotic Iraqi wife
May 08, 2009
The Neurotic Iraqi Mom...
The cries of that lady startled me. I so wanted to go and talk to her. Talk to her and tell her all is gonna be ok. All is gonna be fine, but I just couldnt. I couldnt move. I was stuck. Stuck on that hard bed wired to that heavy IV drip. I couldnt muster the energy. I looked around me and I too began to cry. I was lying there immobile, in that morbid place, ALONE. Separating us was a curtain. A dull patterned curtain. Everything in that place smelt sterile, felt sterile. How many cries did these walls witness. How many whimpers did these curtains see.
I touched my belly ever so softly, "tell me youre gonna be just fine" I whispered. I repeated the words but this time with urgency, "Please tell me youre gonna be fine" I begged. But I know theyre fighters. Theyre my fighters. Theyre fighters just like their mom. I prayed for I dont know how long until I guess I dozed off. Then the mobile rang. I woke up with a jolt, Its HUBBY. Oh how I wished he was here with me, with us.
I wanted time to pass. I wanted to get out of there. Whenever they brought in those food trays I just pushed it away. I didnt feel like eating. But then I remembered. Its not just me now. I have 2 more mouths to feed. Theyve probably been traumatized as well. So I picked on those boiled carrots and shoved them in my mouth. Then I took a bite from that piece of broiled fish. I wanted to spit it out so badly, but I chewed it so fast and gulped it down. Its not just me now. I have two more mouths to feed, I reminded myself.
They day I was released was like a dream. Wow, I can actually see the daylight. I can see the sun. No more pale dull curtains isolating me from the world. No more painful IV tubes stuck in my veins. No more lonely cries. The relief, the relief I tell you is beyond any I have known. At the same time, the worry is still there. "You have a high risk pregnancy" Words that keep resonating in my ears. "You can lose them anytime" Ughhh I so despise these words. I so despise the constant fear Im in. But again, I know. I know theyre fighters. I know that God is watching over them. God is guarding them.
And no this isnt just a story Im telling, nor a dream. Nor is it a nightmare that my subconsious mind has made up. This is a reality. Here I am sitting typing this post, and looking at my cute rounded belly. And yes it is cute, for I never thought EVER after all these years of dreaming, of hoping, that I will finally have my own children. My own beautiful kids. And yes, inside there is not just one, but two. Two little munchkins waiting for their time to come to be released into this world, into my arms. And my arms are so ready to have them, to hold them, to embrace them.
Im no longer just a wife. The Neurotic Iraqi Wife. Im now a Mom. The Neurotic Iraqi Mom....
I touched my belly ever so softly, "tell me youre gonna be just fine" I whispered. I repeated the words but this time with urgency, "Please tell me youre gonna be fine" I begged. But I know theyre fighters. Theyre my fighters. Theyre fighters just like their mom. I prayed for I dont know how long until I guess I dozed off. Then the mobile rang. I woke up with a jolt, Its HUBBY. Oh how I wished he was here with me, with us.
I wanted time to pass. I wanted to get out of there. Whenever they brought in those food trays I just pushed it away. I didnt feel like eating. But then I remembered. Its not just me now. I have 2 more mouths to feed. Theyve probably been traumatized as well. So I picked on those boiled carrots and shoved them in my mouth. Then I took a bite from that piece of broiled fish. I wanted to spit it out so badly, but I chewed it so fast and gulped it down. Its not just me now. I have two more mouths to feed, I reminded myself.
They day I was released was like a dream. Wow, I can actually see the daylight. I can see the sun. No more pale dull curtains isolating me from the world. No more painful IV tubes stuck in my veins. No more lonely cries. The relief, the relief I tell you is beyond any I have known. At the same time, the worry is still there. "You have a high risk pregnancy" Words that keep resonating in my ears. "You can lose them anytime" Ughhh I so despise these words. I so despise the constant fear Im in. But again, I know. I know theyre fighters. I know that God is watching over them. God is guarding them.
And no this isnt just a story Im telling, nor a dream. Nor is it a nightmare that my subconsious mind has made up. This is a reality. Here I am sitting typing this post, and looking at my cute rounded belly. And yes it is cute, for I never thought EVER after all these years of dreaming, of hoping, that I will finally have my own children. My own beautiful kids. And yes, inside there is not just one, but two. Two little munchkins waiting for their time to come to be released into this world, into my arms. And my arms are so ready to have them, to hold them, to embrace them.
Im no longer just a wife. The Neurotic Iraqi Wife. Im now a Mom. The Neurotic Iraqi Mom....
69 Comments:
All the best from Germany!
What a blessing! Congratulations!
Congratulations, pray things go well with your pregnancy.
Congratulations!! We are very happy for you and Hubby...
Best wishes from Germany. God bless you and your two kids!
Congratulations! Welcome to the Mommy Club. Many prayers for you and your precious munchkins.
Congratulations and best wishes from Canada. I've been enjoying your writing for a while now. I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy. the best part is yet to come.
you can bring lunch. Maybe your vagina will get tunnel vision and those little lives will just light right up!
NIW,
Congrats!!!!!!! I'm so happpy for you! All the best from America! Please keep us updated!
When will twins arrive?
Missed your blog, now I know why you haven't written.
Take very good care of yourself - prayers for you, twins and daddy.
SJS - America
Your dream has finally come through.Congragulation sis.
I hope all will goes well.
Sam
Thank you all!!! Just pray for me and those little ones.
SJS, theyre due sometime in Oct, but with twins, my Dr told me that theres a big chance that they may arrive much earlier which is quite frightening. I just want them to be healthy.
Sam, yes, finally my dreams came true. I also dreamt that Im having twin boys. I told HUBBY if my dream is true, then Im definitely gonna try for a girl in a few yrs time :) I just hope everything goes smoothly with me. Ive been ordered complete bed rest, but I just cant stay still.
Hi NIW,
I knew you would come up with something cool after all :) I am so happy. I almost cried when I read your lines.. two embryos, that is awesome...now you better watch your health and eat healthy, oh by the way stay away from smoking...God bless you and your family as well..
with love
Marsho
Congratulations! I will be praying for you and this pregnancy and for your two little ones. Pregnancy is so life changing and so many worries that come with it, but even more so when you have extra worries. Thank you for sharing your life with us and your insights that I would have never thought about. I appreciate it more than words can ever express.
Angela a friend in the US
WHAT!!!????? I called it....what.......8 months to a year ago (I might have been Julie then...lol). And I think you said "No way!" lol....I love it! Congrats!
Neurotic Iraqi Mother,
Your post made me so happy and you have my prayers to Allah for a good health and also to have a successful pregnancy. I would like to welcome your two beautiful Iraqi kids from now.
Take care,
You and your children will be in my prayers. God bless you all.
That's wonderful news! Alf mabrouk!
Happy Mother's Day! Next year on Mother's Day they'll be in your arms, instead of your tummy.
Congratulations and all the best to you and Hubby!
Bamboo
Congrats Neurotica!!
Congratulations! All the best wishes to you and those babies. Good luck!
NIW,
Congratulations! Such wonderful news.
R1
Awesome - Congrats!
I am a twin, born in October...good luck!
Congratulations! I will be praying fervently for you and your little ones to be ok.
It's wonderful news, neurotica! Congratulations! And I will pray all goes well with your pregnancy :)
YAAAAAAYYYYY!!! You will have to let me know if they are boys or girls or one of each so I can crochet a blanket for each of them! I know it will be hard for you to sit still, so I will keep your babies and your stillness in my prayers :)
Take care. I'm so happy for you and hubby!
Always,
Melanie
here's my religion final. I know my Professor doesn't read it.
Exclusivistic reasoning is less a conjurer of belief then say a homeless person who preaches on a city street. Extremism relates those acquainted with rigid discipline standards a distance one should keep. Exclusivism determines the very real backdrop that creates the cities and all of the occupants. More importantly how those people nurture one another and grow in a particular manner. Definition involving natural dedication is solved with belief structuring. Structure characterizes expectations. Those characters are the stern opponent figures recounting specific differences, forecasting their particular religion as profit. Gain is suspect and is limited where exposure conflicts with the beliefs of others. There are many characters, each with their own depictions of possible problems and solutions.
Now profit delineates resource that is renewable. Resourceful people grow belief systems nurturing the discipline of sharing. Focus is significant. A factor for profit is expected as benefit including agreeable surroundings. The available support is a reflection of surrounding people. Religion is the foundation and in the event of a disaster, the relief. A very perplexing gaiety concerning birth. Religion is almost always working out of the mud.
The unfortunate art of trespassing. 1. Exclusivistic grace neither prepares nor nurtures opponent peoples for discourse. The vaulted crux for anyone who listens upon exclusivistic disciplines is damnable a tremendous weight, drawing people deep within the Earth. 2. The emotional fervor these attitudes can create are dangerous and addictive. 3. Exclusivism is a chain reaction developing large numbers of people quickly risking maturity. 4. Progress with such heavy reliance on destruction is torturous. Inexcusable and arcane, many agree the graveyard is too great a distance from proper birth and human refinement.
1. Our Religion book suggests Exclusivism is the first step towards inter-faith dialogue. 2. A sense of superiority should offer parallel standings on matters of belief. 3. Surviving generations of believers and non-believers are able to examine the justifiable results of any particular conflict. In that way religion can grow with love and tolerance. Which is funny because they generate a certain kind of mysticism most people grow and understand as hatred. Realism is increasingly important. Enlightening our children does indeed require mystery. It may be considered shameful when that mystery is prescribed to older members of a community. Love or addiction is not without sacrifice or victims. For a child there is no greater mystery then a graveyard or even a tree. Kind of like their first step towards getting an education or understanding the component structure of language. I do know religion is very old now. Old enough people get along when they are not encouraging extremist ideology.
WOW - GREAT NEWS!! Keep in good health and all my best! M.A.
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wonderful news ... so happy for you .... I have one baby boy and I thank god everyday for this beautiful gift ... bless you
MM!!!!Long tiiiiiiiiiiiime. Ishonich?Yella inshallah ilyoum il ilich.
Angela, thanks!your words mean so much to me!
Hmmm,Dennis, really? I said no way? I guess never say never, lol.
Shukran Khalid, thank you very much.
Hiya Tib, thank you
DXB!!!!Long time as well. How are you? How have you been? Thanks for your well wishes.
Hey Bamboo, do you know you are the only one who wished me a happy mothers day :) Thank you!!!But HUBBY wished me a happy mothers day on the arabic version back in March :)
Thanks madtom!
The queen, thank you!
Hey R1!!!Wow you still follow my blog? Lol. How are you? Its been ages!
Anon, wow, thats pretty cool! when in Oct?I know a set of twins born in Oct as well. They were my best friends in London, and I love them dearly. I have never met such nice and honest guys like these two. If I do have boys, then I wish my boys to be just like them!
Thanks JLAN, yes do pray for us, we need it!
Thanks PG!!!Did you expect it?
Melanieeeeeeee!!!Did I ever congratulate you on your graduation???I dont think I did! Congrats and as we say in Iraqi Alif mabrook (congratulations a thousand times)
Thanks MA
Thanks Anon, and yes theyre not just beautiful gifts from God but they are miracles. Our miracles!And I cant wait
are Calvin and Hobbes good Muslim names?
Congratulations NIW or should I say NIM!!!! Two babies? I have two boys (not twins) and they are the joy of my life as I'm sure your children will be to you. Take care of yourself and please don't smoke, I was a smoker years ago and when I got pregnant with my first son (now 13) I never touched a cigarette again.
Congrats NIM!!
:))
Take care and all that, and above all: enjoy!
Congratulations. Your children will hopefully be among the ones who will shape the future of our country in a great way. Best of wishes to them and you.
Huge Congrats!
PUHLEEZE! Tell us you've ditched the ciggies.
Anon, wow, thats pretty cool! when in Oct?I know a set of twins born in Oct as well. They were my best friends in London, and I love them dearly. I have never met such nice and honest guys like these two. If I do have boys, then I wish my boys to be just like them!The 17th.:) I'm one of two girls.
We're pretty different but very close too.We made up our own language and stories as kids.
I'm wondering if you know if they are gonna be identical or fraternal yet?
One thing I'd say is let them be individuals as well as enjoy being twins!
I've read ur blog for a while now, and I think you'll do great as a mom. ;)
congratulations on double the fun :) .
I hope you give birth to 2 beautiful healthy babies.
Hi NIW (or shall i say NIM :) )..... Congratulations.... it had been such a long time long time since i read your blogs and it was really nice to read the good news.
i think you must know how spend my time when i was prisoner in jadriya bunker in 2005 baghdad
and how usa soldires found us !
Neurotica,
You and I haven't always agreed on everything, but I am so happy for you and hubby! Good luck with the twins!
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Congrats! From someone in the U.S. that has read about you and your Hubby over the years! My hubby and I have 6 children and they are our joy! We are very blessed and I will pray for your babies and may GOD protect them!
You should of seen this drunk black guy. He was using costume without make-up. One point he made his face look like the biggest baby dealing birth Iraqi I had ever seen. I immediately told all the Christians we need to be birth mothers like that mysterious black guy from the porch.
Awesome! have been waiting for this news, and its great to hear it. Alf mabrouk and may you hold them healthy, strong and good very soon. keep us updated! a blog you might enjoy now:www.growmama.com
What a good news!
What a blessing!~~~
I am happy for you girl!
I am learning so much about Iran. Iraqi elections just didn't fill my head like Iranian elections. It it is like Iran is avoiding war with all the sex and violence it has going on. I hope you have many shitty elections in the future.
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I can't believe I'm seeing this post this late! CONGRATS!! I'm sure you are super thrilled. I'd be too. Oh, I'm so happy for you. God will continue to guard and protect them, no worries!
hello khala,
I'm really so glad for you, neurotic iraqi mom, wowwwwwww, such a wonderful thing!!!! i wish every happiness, and inshallah you will give birth to the babies safely and healthily..
hallo from italy
Hey Neurotic, don't forget about us...we stuck with you when you were in a war zone...we are still here...not asking to be let into your living room, but come on girl.
Saying a prayer for you every day.
Always,
Melanie
CONGRATS "Olaffbjorn@gmail.com" SOUTH DUBAI ;SHARJAH E;MAX ADMIN TEL:-055-759-0042CHEERS THE VERY BEST OF BRITISH & GOOD LUCK TO YOU & A VERY HAPPY FAMILY PART OF THE LARGE ARABIAN GULF PENNINSULA ANGLO-ARABIAN MAY YOU HAVE A LONG & PROSPEROUS LIFE BRINGING UP YOUR CHILDREN IN THE ARABIAN TRADITIONAL WAY & WELL EDUCATED ALL ROUND GREAT BRITAIN IS WITH YOU SINCE THE 1800 &THEREABOUTS KINDEST REGARDS OLAFF "WWW.BFBS.com" WE ARE ALWAYS NEAR BASRAH & IRAQ THE ARABIAN GULF & THE PENINSULA EVEN THOUGH OUR RADIO STUDIO HAS SHIFTED SLIGHTLY OUT OF BASRAH & KUWAIT BUT WE ARE NEVER TOO FAR RULING THE AIR WAVES THE BEST OF BRITISH ROCK"STATUS QUO"ROCKING ALL AROUND THE GLOBE"GOD BLESS HUN:)
Good luck! I wish you all the best!
Congratulations and take care of yourself.
Congratulations!!! You'll make a great mom!!
Insha´Allah will everything go well for you and your babies. Good luck and congrats!
Will we ever hear from you again? I miss you
Don't know if we will hear from her, like kids you raise them up, then the little suckers never phone home.But, if you are a close friend you can go here:
http://neurotic-iraqi-wifes-secretjourney.blogspot.com/
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Congratulations. This is Jonathan Curiel from San Francisco -- the journalist who interviewed you back in 2007 (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/14/ING1ANFPFB1.DTL). I'd love to interview you again, this time for the blog that I do (http://trueslant.com/jonathancuriel/). If you get a spare moment (I have an 8-year-old boy, so I know spare moments can be rare), please contact me at jonathancuriel@hotmail.com.
you get the weirdest comments
congrats btw
hope things are going well... :)
Congratulations!! We are very happy for you and Hubby...
Cheers,
cari duit
belajar seo
You write beautifully. It was a great narration. Congratulations!!!
This is Joshua from Israeli Uncensored News
congratulation my friend. \m/
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