neurotic Iraqi wife
September 28, 2006
Snippets of My Mind
As its Ramadan and HUBBY is still back in the States, I find myself living the life of a bat...I stay awake until the early hours of the day and sleep during the whole day...Until ofcourse it becomes that exciting time of breaking my fast...which basically doesnt really serve the purpose of Ramadan of actually suffering... I can account for the different reasons why Im actually staying up late...One, I dont want to miss the dawn prayers...Two, I stay up reading the Quran...Three, Jet lag, theres like 8 hours difference...
Last year when I was in the Green Zone, I never got to fast...I probably fasted a few days then I gave up...The hectic work and the need to have a functioning mind during the day made it extremely difficult for a person like me to give up caffeine and cigarettes... I need these 2 for my own sanity... So this year Im trying my best to be good... As for reading the Quran, well I do that every year... But this year its somehow different...This year Im trying to have a better understanding of the holy book...Its not that easy to understand...During my London days I bought a translation of the book in English...Yup thats sad, I cant understand the most important book in my own language...
Its like Im on a mission...a mission to see from where do these so called bin ladens, zarqawis, saddamists and Fanatical Islamists get their words from...So far, in the first few pages of the holy book, it says: Anyone who kills a believer will have God's wrath on him. Then in another part it says dont be the transgressor, for God doesnt like the transgressors...It also says there is no force in religeon...ie, you cant force people to become muslims, they have to do it on their own accord...Another important thing, it says :never attack those who are praying in mosques, unless they attack you first...and thats only for self defence...
I am ignorant when it comes to my religeon, but those statements, written in the most simple manner that you, me and everyone else can understand should not be ignored...Those people who use Islam as their reasoning for killing innocents are nothing but insects, trying to tarnish the name of Islam...They call themselves mulsims, they say they are the true believers, they say they are fighting in the name of Islam....In the name of God...In the name of the prophet...As we all witnessed the videos, the beheadings, where they utter the most pure words on their filthy tongues....They have the nerve to say "Allahu Akbar" God is Great, when they are committing the worst of crimes...barbaric crimes...
Their mission, their mission isnt to pass the word, no, their mission is to make the world hate the normal muslims...The true muslims...their mission is to sow a seed of hatred so they can have more excuses to kill the innocent people...They kill, they torture, so the ordinary people suffer... They are now sitting and laughing... laughing at the world...
As with every Ramadan, the Arab world is inundated with arabic series...One storyline after the other... Its like a marathon...Im not much of a TV person, but this time, there are two series that I was drawn to...Both of them are stories revolving around terrorism plots...They are ofcourse depicted from the the 7th of July London bombing, and the other is taken from the Saudi and Jordanian bombings...I am pretty impressed that the Arabs have finally gone out of their cocoons and are helping in educating the people about these terrorists...Although these are nothing but series on a tv, it may have an effect on the younger crowd, those who are easily swayed...Both of these series show the good muslims, and those who claim to be muslims...The stories have one and only one message: Those who are doing these bombings and killing the innocents are nothing but true terrorists and are far far from the teachings of Islam...
As for the classified info that was leaked regarding the security situation in Iraq, well, Im not surprised...Are you??? If you are, then you are not living in this world...The war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan and the war in Lebanon has made this world far more dangerous than it used to be 5 or 10 yrs back... It has allowed the terrorists to regroup themselves and use the innocent civilians as their targets...They use these wars to brainwash and train those who are easily swayed... And the crimes committed by the coalition forces against the civilians dont make things easier either... The removal of Saddam was a must, but the war and the aftermath was not a must...Many of my Iraqi colleagues told me that in April/May of 2003 they were extremely happy, extremely welcoming to the troops... But as time passed and the basic necessities were not met and the violence spread people lost their faith in the Iraqi gov and the coaltion forces... They say right now their only faith is in God and nothing else...
When Generals and Majors say there isnt a civil war in Iraq, then dont believe whatever they say anymore...Civil war IS TAKING PLACE...Whats the definition of civil war??? Look it up and you will find this...So dont tell me that there isnt one right now in Iraq...There is one, a dangerous one... How can it be solved??? I dunno, I would think by uniting the factions...But how can you unite people who have different agendas??? First off we have to find out what the Shia's want and what the Sunni's want then work through a common ground...I know its easier said than done...
The lack of post war planning on Iraq resulted in a virus similar to that of HIV... It lessened the immune system and made a way to many other infections to take place... It brought all those bacterias inside and allowed them to manifest and multiply... The atmosphere was perfect for these bacteria to stick like leeches to the blood cells and consequently result in system failure, in DEATH... The virus brought on people from Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iran, Sudan, Egypt and I dunno where else to fight their so called "Holy War" on a people that suffered tremendously during Saddam's tyrant regime...
HUBBY and I are from 2 different sects, and Im not gonna lie and say that we dont argue about whats happening right now in Iraq...Cuz we do...I have my own ideas and he has his... Whenever a Sunni Mosque gets hit he would say "Look at what your people have done to us" and when a bombing takes place in a shia neighbourhood I would point the finger at him and say "look at the terrorists, your people, look at what they have done to mine?" But at the end of the day we both agree on one thing and one thing only, the unity of Iraq...
Although HUBBY lived most of his life in the States, and worked with Americans, he said he was shocked at the calibre that was sent to rebuild Iraq... One guy who was put responsible for a major program was infact a sewage specialist...And umm the program he was heading had nothing to do with sewage believe me...I wish it was, he woulda helped with the failed sewage systems we have back there...The other guy who was managing some major projects, was in Iraq previously and his company has gone bankrupt...I mean dont they run a background check on these people???
These people were brought in for one of the most important tasks in history... The rebuilding of Iraq... Yet the last thing the US gov thought of was check for qualifications... Oh well, whats done is done and cannot be undone...or can it??? A few months ago I was against the coalition forces leaving, but now, I dunno...Now I think its time for them to leave... For one reason, and one reason only... Let the terrorists kill each other, maybe one will eradicate the other, just in mathematics (my major) A negative multiply it with another negative, you get a positive... I keep reading some comments on some blogs which drive me mad like "Iraqis are lazy, Iraqis are selfish, they should stand up against the terrorists, they should take control of the situation..." or "Iraqis should be grateful, thankful blah blah blah..."
For your info, Iraqis ARE fighting the terrorists because Iraqis themselves dont believe in Bin Laden or Zarqawi...Maybe a small minority does, like the salafis or wahabis...A strict form of Islam that was brought to us by Saudi Arabia mostly...But the normal Iraqi citizen, who managed to live with thy neighbour of different sect and different religeon for decades is not happy... They dont just stand and watch their country and their people being torn apart to shreds... And hence they are the ones getting killed... I dont even know where Im going with this, except that Im blabbing...Too many ideas and thoughts trying to come out all at once...These are just some snippets...Snippets of My Mind...
Last year when I was in the Green Zone, I never got to fast...I probably fasted a few days then I gave up...The hectic work and the need to have a functioning mind during the day made it extremely difficult for a person like me to give up caffeine and cigarettes... I need these 2 for my own sanity... So this year Im trying my best to be good... As for reading the Quran, well I do that every year... But this year its somehow different...This year Im trying to have a better understanding of the holy book...Its not that easy to understand...During my London days I bought a translation of the book in English...Yup thats sad, I cant understand the most important book in my own language...
Its like Im on a mission...a mission to see from where do these so called bin ladens, zarqawis, saddamists and Fanatical Islamists get their words from...So far, in the first few pages of the holy book, it says: Anyone who kills a believer will have God's wrath on him. Then in another part it says dont be the transgressor, for God doesnt like the transgressors...It also says there is no force in religeon...ie, you cant force people to become muslims, they have to do it on their own accord...Another important thing, it says :never attack those who are praying in mosques, unless they attack you first...and thats only for self defence...
I am ignorant when it comes to my religeon, but those statements, written in the most simple manner that you, me and everyone else can understand should not be ignored...Those people who use Islam as their reasoning for killing innocents are nothing but insects, trying to tarnish the name of Islam...They call themselves mulsims, they say they are the true believers, they say they are fighting in the name of Islam....In the name of God...In the name of the prophet...As we all witnessed the videos, the beheadings, where they utter the most pure words on their filthy tongues....They have the nerve to say "Allahu Akbar" God is Great, when they are committing the worst of crimes...barbaric crimes...
Their mission, their mission isnt to pass the word, no, their mission is to make the world hate the normal muslims...The true muslims...their mission is to sow a seed of hatred so they can have more excuses to kill the innocent people...They kill, they torture, so the ordinary people suffer... They are now sitting and laughing... laughing at the world...
As with every Ramadan, the Arab world is inundated with arabic series...One storyline after the other... Its like a marathon...Im not much of a TV person, but this time, there are two series that I was drawn to...Both of them are stories revolving around terrorism plots...They are ofcourse depicted from the the 7th of July London bombing, and the other is taken from the Saudi and Jordanian bombings...I am pretty impressed that the Arabs have finally gone out of their cocoons and are helping in educating the people about these terrorists...Although these are nothing but series on a tv, it may have an effect on the younger crowd, those who are easily swayed...Both of these series show the good muslims, and those who claim to be muslims...The stories have one and only one message: Those who are doing these bombings and killing the innocents are nothing but true terrorists and are far far from the teachings of Islam...
As for the classified info that was leaked regarding the security situation in Iraq, well, Im not surprised...Are you??? If you are, then you are not living in this world...The war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan and the war in Lebanon has made this world far more dangerous than it used to be 5 or 10 yrs back... It has allowed the terrorists to regroup themselves and use the innocent civilians as their targets...They use these wars to brainwash and train those who are easily swayed... And the crimes committed by the coalition forces against the civilians dont make things easier either... The removal of Saddam was a must, but the war and the aftermath was not a must...Many of my Iraqi colleagues told me that in April/May of 2003 they were extremely happy, extremely welcoming to the troops... But as time passed and the basic necessities were not met and the violence spread people lost their faith in the Iraqi gov and the coaltion forces... They say right now their only faith is in God and nothing else...
When Generals and Majors say there isnt a civil war in Iraq, then dont believe whatever they say anymore...Civil war IS TAKING PLACE...Whats the definition of civil war??? Look it up and you will find this...So dont tell me that there isnt one right now in Iraq...There is one, a dangerous one... How can it be solved??? I dunno, I would think by uniting the factions...But how can you unite people who have different agendas??? First off we have to find out what the Shia's want and what the Sunni's want then work through a common ground...I know its easier said than done...
The lack of post war planning on Iraq resulted in a virus similar to that of HIV... It lessened the immune system and made a way to many other infections to take place... It brought all those bacterias inside and allowed them to manifest and multiply... The atmosphere was perfect for these bacteria to stick like leeches to the blood cells and consequently result in system failure, in DEATH... The virus brought on people from Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iran, Sudan, Egypt and I dunno where else to fight their so called "Holy War" on a people that suffered tremendously during Saddam's tyrant regime...
HUBBY and I are from 2 different sects, and Im not gonna lie and say that we dont argue about whats happening right now in Iraq...Cuz we do...I have my own ideas and he has his... Whenever a Sunni Mosque gets hit he would say "Look at what your people have done to us" and when a bombing takes place in a shia neighbourhood I would point the finger at him and say "look at the terrorists, your people, look at what they have done to mine?" But at the end of the day we both agree on one thing and one thing only, the unity of Iraq...
Although HUBBY lived most of his life in the States, and worked with Americans, he said he was shocked at the calibre that was sent to rebuild Iraq... One guy who was put responsible for a major program was infact a sewage specialist...And umm the program he was heading had nothing to do with sewage believe me...I wish it was, he woulda helped with the failed sewage systems we have back there...The other guy who was managing some major projects, was in Iraq previously and his company has gone bankrupt...I mean dont they run a background check on these people???
These people were brought in for one of the most important tasks in history... The rebuilding of Iraq... Yet the last thing the US gov thought of was check for qualifications... Oh well, whats done is done and cannot be undone...or can it??? A few months ago I was against the coalition forces leaving, but now, I dunno...Now I think its time for them to leave... For one reason, and one reason only... Let the terrorists kill each other, maybe one will eradicate the other, just in mathematics (my major) A negative multiply it with another negative, you get a positive... I keep reading some comments on some blogs which drive me mad like "Iraqis are lazy, Iraqis are selfish, they should stand up against the terrorists, they should take control of the situation..." or "Iraqis should be grateful, thankful blah blah blah..."
For your info, Iraqis ARE fighting the terrorists because Iraqis themselves dont believe in Bin Laden or Zarqawi...Maybe a small minority does, like the salafis or wahabis...A strict form of Islam that was brought to us by Saudi Arabia mostly...But the normal Iraqi citizen, who managed to live with thy neighbour of different sect and different religeon for decades is not happy... They dont just stand and watch their country and their people being torn apart to shreds... And hence they are the ones getting killed... I dont even know where Im going with this, except that Im blabbing...Too many ideas and thoughts trying to come out all at once...These are just some snippets...Snippets of My Mind...
September 26, 2006
Alla Uno, Alla Due', Alla Tre's....SOLD
The best auction houses in the world are found in London and NY... But hey did you hear the latest news??? Theres a new one now in a place called Iraq... Oh yeah, its actually beating them in the rankings... Everyday, you hear the words "Alla uno, Alla due', alla Tre's"...But instead of Picasso, Monet, Matisse, Dali and Van Gogh, the auction is all about corpses...Yup, corpses...Iraqi Corpses...Oh and do you know what the latest fad is???The latest fad is, the more the corpse is mutilated, the higher the price...Alla Uno, All Due', Alla Tre's...SOLD....
You're bored, you're tired, You're thristy, you're hungry and counting the hours until you break your fast...You keep looking at your watch but time seems to be stuck in a trance...Its hot, and there's no electricity...The generator was stolen by thieves and you never got a chance to replace it...You decide to take a walk...Something very unlikely but you still do it...You want some fresh air...A walk is good, a walk will kill time...Maybe you will get the chance to pass by your bestfriend Ahmed...Just see how he is doing...His mobile has been shut for days now...
You leave your house in a haste, cant be bothered to answer the questions of "where are you going now? and what time will you be back..." You left work a month ago because of a letter you received threatening you and your family... You are frustrated for youre a man, yet by succumbing to those threats you feel like a coward...A coward infront of your wife...a coward infront of your children...Your savings are running out, and you are frustrated...You need a way out, a plan...You need a job...The fresh air is helping you clear your mind...Not as fresh as you hoped, but its definitely better than the claustrophobic atmosphere at home, and the pitying eyes...
You continue walking, the streets are empty, its like a ghost town...a few purrs from stray cats startle you, but you keep on walking...Its getting kinda hot, your shirt starts sticking to your body...sweat patches appear slightly under your arm pits... You wipe your forehead and just go on...you stumble upon a stone and you fall...You fall in what smells like sewage waste on the road...You start cursing, but you remember its Ramadan...A month of good deeds...You ask forgiveness from your maker and continue...You look down at your clothes, they became wet and dirty...You start sniffing and you smell like S... Oh well, you say to yourself, I can wash up at Ahmed's house...
After 20 or 30 minutes of walking, you start hearing childrens' cheers...They are in a far far distance... Oh Im sure theyre playing a game or something, you think to yourself...You start following the cheers and after a few minutes you look around and find yourself in a strange neighbourhood...Nothing looks familiar....You see one of the kids jumping up and down as if trying to catch a glimpse of something... He reminds you of your childhood days... There was a time when your height didnt serve you right... You were 6 or 5, and didnt have a tv set at home...You tried going to one of the local cafeterias where they had a small black and white tv placed upon a low table where all the adults were blocking your view... You tried to fight your way through the crowd but to no avail...You started jumping up and down whenever the adult cheers became louder, you managed to have one teeny glimpse of the goal...Until you felt these huge arms holding you up...For a second there you got scared, you looked at the guys face and his contours softened and he smiled...That day, for the first time in your young life, you managed to watch the end of a football game...And its all thanks to that giant...Maybe I can be of some help to that kid and carry him up...help him watch whatever he is trying to see...
You get closer and the cheers louder...The kid is still trying to fight his way...You reach the crowd and just as that Giant did 30 odd yrs ago, you took hold of the kid and lifted him up...your gaze followed to what the cheers were about... you kept blinking for this is not real...No, No....this cant be... Staring back at you were eyes...20 maybe 30 sets of eyes...eyes of corpses...Corpses hung just like in the butcher's... Bodies, dead bodies...women with long long hair....Old men with missing legs...Young men with shaven heads and one eye... Some even have half their skulls open hangin on their shoulders...You felt sick to your stomach...You tried to change your gaze, and as you did, your eyes fell on the Pumas...Your heart fell...those yellow pumas...Ahmed's yellow pumas...His pride and joy...you lifted your eyes from those pumas slowly...your eyes moving gradually from the pumas to the jeans from the jeans to the black shirt and all the time you are praying, praying its not Ahmed...Please God let it not be Ahmed.......you feel the pulp of your sickness in your throat....You gather all your strength and there....there is Ahmed's angelic face...his lips dangling, his face blue void of any blood...his eyes, his beautiful green eyes gauged...gauged and lifeless...You start screaming but its only in your head...You start to cry but again its only in your head...
Alongside these corpses is a man...A strange looking man...You keep blinking...for this is definitely not real...You are sure this is some kinda charade or something...A sick charade...The man is now looking directly at you...through you...an evil smile appears on his thin lips showing a set of missing and blackened teeth... He points at you and says "Alla Uno, Alla due, Alla Tre's, SOLD..."
Oh and do you know what else...These dead bodies are becoming very useful...The animals (Im not doing any justice to the animals here) not only mutilate them...torture them and then kill them...Oh no, this wont do anymore...This isnt enough towards their so called "fight against the occupation"...The fun part is when they use them as their bombing tools...Dead bodies everyone...They kidnap them, torture them...they sell them for a high price, the new owners torture them even more...depending on their moods, they either kill them or send them back in a car filled up with explosives and BOOM, theyre gone...Gone together with more bodies...innocent bodies...
Come gather up and witness, witness the best auction of this century...The best auction ever...Forget NY, forget London and Paris...Come to Iraq...Iraq's Auction House...Forget Picasso and Monet...They are old news...Come to Iraq, Iraq's auction house and bid for the corpses...Alla Uno, Alla Due'...Alla Tre's....SOLD
You're bored, you're tired, You're thristy, you're hungry and counting the hours until you break your fast...You keep looking at your watch but time seems to be stuck in a trance...Its hot, and there's no electricity...The generator was stolen by thieves and you never got a chance to replace it...You decide to take a walk...Something very unlikely but you still do it...You want some fresh air...A walk is good, a walk will kill time...Maybe you will get the chance to pass by your bestfriend Ahmed...Just see how he is doing...His mobile has been shut for days now...
You leave your house in a haste, cant be bothered to answer the questions of "where are you going now? and what time will you be back..." You left work a month ago because of a letter you received threatening you and your family... You are frustrated for youre a man, yet by succumbing to those threats you feel like a coward...A coward infront of your wife...a coward infront of your children...Your savings are running out, and you are frustrated...You need a way out, a plan...You need a job...The fresh air is helping you clear your mind...Not as fresh as you hoped, but its definitely better than the claustrophobic atmosphere at home, and the pitying eyes...
You continue walking, the streets are empty, its like a ghost town...a few purrs from stray cats startle you, but you keep on walking...Its getting kinda hot, your shirt starts sticking to your body...sweat patches appear slightly under your arm pits... You wipe your forehead and just go on...you stumble upon a stone and you fall...You fall in what smells like sewage waste on the road...You start cursing, but you remember its Ramadan...A month of good deeds...You ask forgiveness from your maker and continue...You look down at your clothes, they became wet and dirty...You start sniffing and you smell like S... Oh well, you say to yourself, I can wash up at Ahmed's house...
After 20 or 30 minutes of walking, you start hearing childrens' cheers...They are in a far far distance... Oh Im sure theyre playing a game or something, you think to yourself...You start following the cheers and after a few minutes you look around and find yourself in a strange neighbourhood...Nothing looks familiar....You see one of the kids jumping up and down as if trying to catch a glimpse of something... He reminds you of your childhood days... There was a time when your height didnt serve you right... You were 6 or 5, and didnt have a tv set at home...You tried going to one of the local cafeterias where they had a small black and white tv placed upon a low table where all the adults were blocking your view... You tried to fight your way through the crowd but to no avail...You started jumping up and down whenever the adult cheers became louder, you managed to have one teeny glimpse of the goal...Until you felt these huge arms holding you up...For a second there you got scared, you looked at the guys face and his contours softened and he smiled...That day, for the first time in your young life, you managed to watch the end of a football game...And its all thanks to that giant...Maybe I can be of some help to that kid and carry him up...help him watch whatever he is trying to see...
You get closer and the cheers louder...The kid is still trying to fight his way...You reach the crowd and just as that Giant did 30 odd yrs ago, you took hold of the kid and lifted him up...your gaze followed to what the cheers were about... you kept blinking for this is not real...No, No....this cant be... Staring back at you were eyes...20 maybe 30 sets of eyes...eyes of corpses...Corpses hung just like in the butcher's... Bodies, dead bodies...women with long long hair....Old men with missing legs...Young men with shaven heads and one eye... Some even have half their skulls open hangin on their shoulders...You felt sick to your stomach...You tried to change your gaze, and as you did, your eyes fell on the Pumas...Your heart fell...those yellow pumas...Ahmed's yellow pumas...His pride and joy...you lifted your eyes from those pumas slowly...your eyes moving gradually from the pumas to the jeans from the jeans to the black shirt and all the time you are praying, praying its not Ahmed...Please God let it not be Ahmed.......you feel the pulp of your sickness in your throat....You gather all your strength and there....there is Ahmed's angelic face...his lips dangling, his face blue void of any blood...his eyes, his beautiful green eyes gauged...gauged and lifeless...You start screaming but its only in your head...You start to cry but again its only in your head...
Alongside these corpses is a man...A strange looking man...You keep blinking...for this is definitely not real...You are sure this is some kinda charade or something...A sick charade...The man is now looking directly at you...through you...an evil smile appears on his thin lips showing a set of missing and blackened teeth... He points at you and says "Alla Uno, Alla due, Alla Tre's, SOLD..."
Oh and do you know what else...These dead bodies are becoming very useful...The animals (Im not doing any justice to the animals here) not only mutilate them...torture them and then kill them...Oh no, this wont do anymore...This isnt enough towards their so called "fight against the occupation"...The fun part is when they use them as their bombing tools...Dead bodies everyone...They kidnap them, torture them...they sell them for a high price, the new owners torture them even more...depending on their moods, they either kill them or send them back in a car filled up with explosives and BOOM, theyre gone...Gone together with more bodies...innocent bodies...
Come gather up and witness, witness the best auction of this century...The best auction ever...Forget NY, forget London and Paris...Come to Iraq...Iraq's Auction House...Forget Picasso and Monet...They are old news...Come to Iraq, Iraq's auction house and bid for the corpses...Alla Uno, Alla Due'...Alla Tre's....SOLD
September 19, 2006
UNTITLED...
Right now, Im in Frankfurt waiting for my connecting flight...As I flew over the Atlantic, staring at the vast ocean underneath me, I couldnt stop but think, how much IM gonna miss that place...ANd in less than 3 weeks IM gonna be back to a war torn country....My Country Iraq...I have very mixed feelings this time over, because I know that many of the people I got along with have left, and the only remaining ones are none other but WOB....SOmeone I really really dont want to deal with again....SHe is the most manipulative B I have ever met in my life , the most evil person alive, the most ignorant, yet they kept her cuz of her so called connections which btw, never came into fruition...SHe kept talking about how her brother can help people, and how her contacts can get them jobs etc, yet to this day, I havent seen nor heard any of these claims...WHat a shame, and what bad planning on behalf of the Company and subsequently the US Gov to keep her... BUt hey, who am I to say anything, right???
THeres a woman who is sitting right behind me waiting for the darn monitor to be free so she can use it...SHe was on it like for the past hour or so...so my privacy is kinda takenover...I hate prying eyes....Ughhhhh....THe lounge has only 2 monitors that can be used and I jumped as this one became free...Well IM planning to finish this post so there....
My mental tranquility back in the States was disturbed for a few days by a strange virus...I woke up one day with a massive headache...and somehow feeling queazy, but didnt really think much of it...As the day progressed, I felt weaker and the headache more persistent...By 2am I felt so sick and had to throw up...It was really yuck...an hour later, had to do the same...I felt so dehydrated that I drank water, but the more water I drank, the more sick I felt...and so hello toilet again...I dont remember I ever felt this bad in many many years...I really thought my intestines were gonna peep up and say hello to me...
All the time poor HUBBY tried to help out and urged me to go to hospital for an IV drip...I refused profusely, theres no way Im gonna let anyone prick me with a needle...So I chose the hard way...to Suffer...And suffer I did...for the rest of the day my trips to the bathroom increased until I felt I was gonna die...By then HUBBY forced me outta bed, dressed me and took me to the emergency...BLess HIm...Thank God we didnt need to wait for long, and the IV worked its way...was worth the pain...The blood tests showed that I had a viral infection, Gastroenteritis...Thank God it wasnt Ecoli...I was put on a clear liquid diet....I waved goodbye to the pounds I had gained ...I mean I was so happy that I finally looked healthy, but all that was gone, disappeared and now Im even thinner than I used to be...
The whole experience wasnt too nice, I tell you...but I did discover something...something about HUBBY...He was the best gentleman...He actually took care of me...I know I sound stupid by saying this but I guess cuz this is the first time I fall really sick while IM with HUBBY and I never ever thought that he would be the perfect husband...IT was nice and refreshing to see that he was...OK this woman is really annoying the heck outta me by tapping her slippers on the floor and talking in some kinda language that I dont comprehend to her husband...I better leave and come back later...Maybe by then their flight will be called...I still have like many hours of waiting....
Im gonna finish this piece later and promise to anser the comments in my previous post...and btw, to whomever wrote about a daughter, I dont have one yet....BUt I do hope to have as many as I can...Maybe one day my dream will come true....I aint gonna title this post, cuz my mind is frazzled from the darn slipper tapping...Maybe IM gonna go and finish a few cig packs...Bye for now...
THeres a woman who is sitting right behind me waiting for the darn monitor to be free so she can use it...SHe was on it like for the past hour or so...so my privacy is kinda takenover...I hate prying eyes....Ughhhhh....THe lounge has only 2 monitors that can be used and I jumped as this one became free...Well IM planning to finish this post so there....
My mental tranquility back in the States was disturbed for a few days by a strange virus...I woke up one day with a massive headache...and somehow feeling queazy, but didnt really think much of it...As the day progressed, I felt weaker and the headache more persistent...By 2am I felt so sick and had to throw up...It was really yuck...an hour later, had to do the same...I felt so dehydrated that I drank water, but the more water I drank, the more sick I felt...and so hello toilet again...I dont remember I ever felt this bad in many many years...I really thought my intestines were gonna peep up and say hello to me...
All the time poor HUBBY tried to help out and urged me to go to hospital for an IV drip...I refused profusely, theres no way Im gonna let anyone prick me with a needle...So I chose the hard way...to Suffer...And suffer I did...for the rest of the day my trips to the bathroom increased until I felt I was gonna die...By then HUBBY forced me outta bed, dressed me and took me to the emergency...BLess HIm...Thank God we didnt need to wait for long, and the IV worked its way...was worth the pain...The blood tests showed that I had a viral infection, Gastroenteritis...Thank God it wasnt Ecoli...I was put on a clear liquid diet....I waved goodbye to the pounds I had gained ...I mean I was so happy that I finally looked healthy, but all that was gone, disappeared and now Im even thinner than I used to be...
The whole experience wasnt too nice, I tell you...but I did discover something...something about HUBBY...He was the best gentleman...He actually took care of me...I know I sound stupid by saying this but I guess cuz this is the first time I fall really sick while IM with HUBBY and I never ever thought that he would be the perfect husband...IT was nice and refreshing to see that he was...OK this woman is really annoying the heck outta me by tapping her slippers on the floor and talking in some kinda language that I dont comprehend to her husband...I better leave and come back later...Maybe by then their flight will be called...I still have like many hours of waiting....
Im gonna finish this piece later and promise to anser the comments in my previous post...and btw, to whomever wrote about a daughter, I dont have one yet....BUt I do hope to have as many as I can...Maybe one day my dream will come true....I aint gonna title this post, cuz my mind is frazzled from the darn slipper tapping...Maybe IM gonna go and finish a few cig packs...Bye for now...
September 15, 2006
My Mental Tranquility...
In a few days I will be leaving the States. I have to admit, apart from the terrible incident I had at the airport, I kinda liked it here. What draws me to the place is the simplicity...The down to earth aura...You are you here, and not what people want you to be or expect you to be... Maybe thats the way I see it cuz I dont know anyone here except for HUBBY ofcourse and his friends...Back home, as in Abu Dhabi, its very different...You have to dress a certain way cuz of who you are, or who your parents are...Kinda like keeping up appearances...And I had to do the same back in London...But now, lets say 2 years back, I just got over that stuff, and found my own individuality...My parents never approved of my sense of dressing... Even as a teenager, they kept critisizing my jeans and tshirt outfits...I even told my mom on my wedding day "Mom, can I wear jeans when the Sheikh comes and marries us???" The horror on her face, I tell you was indescribable...Makes me laugh everytime I remember how her face contours just changed...
I guess hitting 30 made me realise that I am me, and made my family realise that I am ME...The awful spending that I did during my years in London and shopping for stuff I never needed is really beyond me...Now that I think about it, what a waste...Fastforward to the present time, Im as simple as can be...Discovered the joys of trainers 2 years ago and cant seem to leave them... The high heeled stilettos that are hanging on my new rails that I guess I will never get to enjoy are probably going to be inherited by my daughter, since you know how the fashion keeps repeating itself...Good for her... I also remembered the horror look on my mom's face when I was on my way to the airport recently... When she asked whether I was ready to go, I nodded and said yes am ready...Her cute face of hers gave me that typical look of horror and said " you're going to the airport like this???" Umm I looked at myself (white tshirt, tiny sweater, my jeans that are falling apart and my pink trainers that look like they have been living in a swamp for like a year) Umm yeah mom, why??? Ok atleast give me your trainers let me clean it for you... The horror face now became mine and I said "Huh!!! You must be kidding me mom...Thats the look now, the ragged look, I need to blend in" Ofcourse I was just teasing her, but I couldnt be bothered to take them off and do the laces again...thats how lazy I was that day....
But here, everything goes...I mean everything... And the demeanour...Its just so different....I cant actually believe Im saying this, cuz I never thought I would ever like living here, or even the prospect of living here...My home has always been where my parents are... ALWAYS...Not Iraq, since I never really lived there, nor London since that was just one of the stopovers of my journey of life...Home is definetly where my parents are...Be it anywhere, even in Timbuktoo... We are a very close knitted family... Our bond is extremely strong, and whenever one if us has a problem, the whole family gathers up and tries to come up with concotions of a solution, not always wise I tell you, but we always stick together... I dont even know where Im goin with this...
Oh I remember, the States...Well, I like it here...This place relaxes me... Just by sitting in the yard and looking over the lake, makes my erratic beahviour, lets say less erratic...Its similar to a massage, but instead of having one physically, Im having one mentally... The slight wind blows through my hair as I sit on the swing and smoke my cigarrette...The birds chirping above me, the trees swaying its branches slowly...The smell of fresh grass finding its way to my nostrils... The sun warming my body... its so tranquil, so quiet... No machines...No loud noises...No bad traffic...Its just me and the lake...Me and the lake having a quiet conversation...A telepathic conversation... With no squabbles, no quarrels... No mortars, no gun fire... Its just me and the lake...
Ive had an arguemnt today with HUBBY regarding me going back to Iraq... He is definitely going now, so my ultimate dream of settling down is on hold at the moment, or infact its a dream thats is lasting more than it should... But Im living with the fact that I cant change HUBBY's mind and so I decided to join him in his endeavour... After I signed the contract, HUBBY says "Dont go, I dont want you to go" Hmm, why HUBBY, I thought thats what we both wanted, besides why is it ok for you and not ok for me??? You will be alone there this time....I wont be with you, I probably wont even be in the GZ...Yeah and so??? What do you mean so??? You wont be with your husband...Umm, yeah and you wont be with your wife???
HUBBY just got at mad me, and thats just HUBBY...Imagine what Im gonna go through when I tell my mom....OMG, the horror mask again and the shrieking voice...Especially if she finds out that HUBBY wont be with me...Wow, I think I will have colourful fireworks going on then...Not something Im looking forward to... I cant blame her, but at the same time, Im old enough to make my own decisions...N'est pas???
I guess HUBBY's plan is to work in Baghdad for whatever time then come and settle here...His house is here, his friends are here...He lived half his life here...He hated Abu Dhabi...I believe its just a state of mind...Anyone who can withstand the trailers, the warehouse and the tiny cubicles of rooms that we had in Baghdad, would see anywhere as a luxury...Anyone who actually adapted to Baghdad with all the stress that accompanied it can withstand anything and anyplace... But HUBBY hated Abu Dhabi... I think its more of the way of life that he hated...The same as me, the keeping up with appearances... Although everyone got over mine and saw beyond the torn jeans and the swampy trainers... I think he should get over the idea of being restricted and just do as he pleases...wear his shorts and his sebagos... This look is very hip nowadays... Wow they probably think we are fashion addicts....eeeewwww....can never get over that either...How people purchase something just because its in all the magazines, when infact it looks horrible on them...Like those huge sunglasses...I mean I abhore them...All my face gets hidden if I wear one...Thank God for the Kids size shades I have...
So yeah, the States is definitely a place I wanna be in... particularly where Im at at the moment....very serene... very homey... very simple... away from pretentious people...away from gossip and who did what and what number is her current husband... I would like to live in a small house, on the lake with palm trees surrounding me and the suns rays warming me...It sounds like Baghdad, but with whats happening at the moment, I love my future children too much to force them to live in a society where hatred and killing is predominant...Its with great pain I say it, but Baghdad has no future, not now and not in 10 years...Maybe in 15 or 20, even then I have my doubts...I will leave it upto my children to decide their future and if Iraq is really a free and democractic nation then sans the militias and the sectarian differences, I will be the one to encourage them to go...But now, all I want is the lake and the serenity....The lake and the Tranquility...My Mental Tranquility.....
I guess hitting 30 made me realise that I am me, and made my family realise that I am ME...The awful spending that I did during my years in London and shopping for stuff I never needed is really beyond me...Now that I think about it, what a waste...Fastforward to the present time, Im as simple as can be...Discovered the joys of trainers 2 years ago and cant seem to leave them... The high heeled stilettos that are hanging on my new rails that I guess I will never get to enjoy are probably going to be inherited by my daughter, since you know how the fashion keeps repeating itself...Good for her... I also remembered the horror look on my mom's face when I was on my way to the airport recently... When she asked whether I was ready to go, I nodded and said yes am ready...Her cute face of hers gave me that typical look of horror and said " you're going to the airport like this???" Umm I looked at myself (white tshirt, tiny sweater, my jeans that are falling apart and my pink trainers that look like they have been living in a swamp for like a year) Umm yeah mom, why??? Ok atleast give me your trainers let me clean it for you... The horror face now became mine and I said "Huh!!! You must be kidding me mom...Thats the look now, the ragged look, I need to blend in" Ofcourse I was just teasing her, but I couldnt be bothered to take them off and do the laces again...thats how lazy I was that day....
But here, everything goes...I mean everything... And the demeanour...Its just so different....I cant actually believe Im saying this, cuz I never thought I would ever like living here, or even the prospect of living here...My home has always been where my parents are... ALWAYS...Not Iraq, since I never really lived there, nor London since that was just one of the stopovers of my journey of life...Home is definetly where my parents are...Be it anywhere, even in Timbuktoo... We are a very close knitted family... Our bond is extremely strong, and whenever one if us has a problem, the whole family gathers up and tries to come up with concotions of a solution, not always wise I tell you, but we always stick together... I dont even know where Im goin with this...
Oh I remember, the States...Well, I like it here...This place relaxes me... Just by sitting in the yard and looking over the lake, makes my erratic beahviour, lets say less erratic...Its similar to a massage, but instead of having one physically, Im having one mentally... The slight wind blows through my hair as I sit on the swing and smoke my cigarrette...The birds chirping above me, the trees swaying its branches slowly...The smell of fresh grass finding its way to my nostrils... The sun warming my body... its so tranquil, so quiet... No machines...No loud noises...No bad traffic...Its just me and the lake...Me and the lake having a quiet conversation...A telepathic conversation... With no squabbles, no quarrels... No mortars, no gun fire... Its just me and the lake...
Ive had an arguemnt today with HUBBY regarding me going back to Iraq... He is definitely going now, so my ultimate dream of settling down is on hold at the moment, or infact its a dream thats is lasting more than it should... But Im living with the fact that I cant change HUBBY's mind and so I decided to join him in his endeavour... After I signed the contract, HUBBY says "Dont go, I dont want you to go" Hmm, why HUBBY, I thought thats what we both wanted, besides why is it ok for you and not ok for me??? You will be alone there this time....I wont be with you, I probably wont even be in the GZ...Yeah and so??? What do you mean so??? You wont be with your husband...Umm, yeah and you wont be with your wife???
HUBBY just got at mad me, and thats just HUBBY...Imagine what Im gonna go through when I tell my mom....OMG, the horror mask again and the shrieking voice...Especially if she finds out that HUBBY wont be with me...Wow, I think I will have colourful fireworks going on then...Not something Im looking forward to... I cant blame her, but at the same time, Im old enough to make my own decisions...N'est pas???
I guess HUBBY's plan is to work in Baghdad for whatever time then come and settle here...His house is here, his friends are here...He lived half his life here...He hated Abu Dhabi...I believe its just a state of mind...Anyone who can withstand the trailers, the warehouse and the tiny cubicles of rooms that we had in Baghdad, would see anywhere as a luxury...Anyone who actually adapted to Baghdad with all the stress that accompanied it can withstand anything and anyplace... But HUBBY hated Abu Dhabi... I think its more of the way of life that he hated...The same as me, the keeping up with appearances... Although everyone got over mine and saw beyond the torn jeans and the swampy trainers... I think he should get over the idea of being restricted and just do as he pleases...wear his shorts and his sebagos... This look is very hip nowadays... Wow they probably think we are fashion addicts....eeeewwww....can never get over that either...How people purchase something just because its in all the magazines, when infact it looks horrible on them...Like those huge sunglasses...I mean I abhore them...All my face gets hidden if I wear one...Thank God for the Kids size shades I have...
So yeah, the States is definitely a place I wanna be in... particularly where Im at at the moment....very serene... very homey... very simple... away from pretentious people...away from gossip and who did what and what number is her current husband... I would like to live in a small house, on the lake with palm trees surrounding me and the suns rays warming me...It sounds like Baghdad, but with whats happening at the moment, I love my future children too much to force them to live in a society where hatred and killing is predominant...Its with great pain I say it, but Baghdad has no future, not now and not in 10 years...Maybe in 15 or 20, even then I have my doubts...I will leave it upto my children to decide their future and if Iraq is really a free and democractic nation then sans the militias and the sectarian differences, I will be the one to encourage them to go...But now, all I want is the lake and the serenity....The lake and the Tranquility...My Mental Tranquility.....
September 11, 2006
An Angel of Humanity...Kristin A. Irvine-Ryan
Its a great honour for me to take part in honouring those who gave their lives on that fateful day... Today Im gonna pay tribute to a young lady by the name of Kristin A. Irvine-Ryan... When I got assigned to write about Kristin, I was utterly shocked by the similarites we had...Kristin, a 30 year old woman, newly married lost her life in the World Trade Center... But I personally dont believe that those who died on that day are actually dead...No they are here, here with their families...Looking over them...guarding them...There's a saying in Quran which says :Dont believe that those who die are dead, infact they are with God alive and well... Kristin is now an angel...An angel right next to God...
The more I researched about Kristin, the more I felt connected to her... Kristin was no ordinary person...She co founded a charity Secret Smiles and never told her family about it... She didnt want to flaunt it... From the testimonies I read, Kristin was one hot headed woman, very determined, very focused and most of all always there...always there to lend a hand... Kristin, I know that you will never be forgotten...You and the 3000 people that lost their lives that day are here...You are here with us...You are here with us to remind us....To remind us that we have to fight...fight those who not only invaded our freedom, but also took away the most precious thing we had... Our Lives...
Kristin, I write to you and my heart is filled with sadness and anger...I write to you in hope that you can hear me...hear my cries, hear my pain... I write to you and my heart is clenched... The images of those towers...Those mighty towers, a sign of power...a sign of no fear, crumbling into dust... That day I was sitting at my office in London, watching in horror the events that took place... Watching and my tears never stopped flowing... The images of people having to choose between choking to death, or falling to their deaths... I always wandered, everyday ever since that day how did people feel...What was going inside their minds... What was their last thoughts...What was your last thought Kristin... What was your last words??? I will never know...
I come from a religeon that respects life... Theres a saying in Quran, One who kills an innocent life is like killing a whole nation... Those who did this act are nothing but sinners... They will go to hell and you mark my words... Islam does not believe in them, for they interpret God's words to serve their own agenda, their own evil hunger... I am a Muslim, yet I cried for you, I cried for all of you... I am a Muslim and I condemned these heinous acts... I am a Muslim, yet those who committed these crimes are no brothers of mine...Kristin, your memory will go on... Your spirit is here, here with those who care...
Five years ago, humanity was shaken... Five years later and humanity is still at war... We are at war with Terrorism... Terrorism has taken new forms and new shape... Terrorism has taken over my country Iraq... Terrorism has taken hundreds of thousands of lives...Innocent Lives... But as I said, these lives may not be here with us physically, but their spirits are lingering about, protecting us with the help of God... You know Kristin, I always thought that those who die innocently are the chosen ones... The chosen ones by God... They are the ones that will fill heaven with their goodness... Fill heaven with their spirits... Kristin, your loss probably was beyond painful, but I say this, you are the lucky ones...The lucky ones that were chosen by God on that Day... As I write this, Im getting goosebumps...For all of a sudden I feel a surge of energy...A strange tingling feeling that just ran through my body... I just looked outside the window, and I can see a glimpse of the Sun's rays trying hard to fight the clouds... Is that You Kristin...Is that You??? Is that you trying to shed a smile on Brendan and your family???
I dont know you Kristin, but somehow, I really wish I did...I really wish I had met you, I wish I had spoken to you... I have so many questions in my mind... We come from two different cultures yet I feel so close...so close to your ideas...to your ways... Kristin, I may not have suffered the pain your family suffered with your loss...But Im suffering everyday through the Iraqi children's eyes...Those eyes that are innocently forced shut by the same people that ended your life... We will get them Kristin, if not in my lifetime then in my children's life time... We have to get them...We have to...There is no other way...
Your name and your Spirit Kristin A Irvine-Ryan will ever be engraved in millions of people's minds and hearts and I assure you it will forever be engraved in mine...For you are still here, still here with us...Your spirit is soaring high above...Soaring in the ever blue skies...Soaring above with your wings flapping...Flapping in the beautiful breeze... The breeze of hope, the breeze of Life...Flapping forever for you are an Angel... An Angel of Humanity...
The more I researched about Kristin, the more I felt connected to her... Kristin was no ordinary person...She co founded a charity Secret Smiles and never told her family about it... She didnt want to flaunt it... From the testimonies I read, Kristin was one hot headed woman, very determined, very focused and most of all always there...always there to lend a hand... Kristin, I know that you will never be forgotten...You and the 3000 people that lost their lives that day are here...You are here with us...You are here with us to remind us....To remind us that we have to fight...fight those who not only invaded our freedom, but also took away the most precious thing we had... Our Lives...
Kristin, I write to you and my heart is filled with sadness and anger...I write to you in hope that you can hear me...hear my cries, hear my pain... I write to you and my heart is clenched... The images of those towers...Those mighty towers, a sign of power...a sign of no fear, crumbling into dust... That day I was sitting at my office in London, watching in horror the events that took place... Watching and my tears never stopped flowing... The images of people having to choose between choking to death, or falling to their deaths... I always wandered, everyday ever since that day how did people feel...What was going inside their minds... What was their last thoughts...What was your last thought Kristin... What was your last words??? I will never know...
I come from a religeon that respects life... Theres a saying in Quran, One who kills an innocent life is like killing a whole nation... Those who did this act are nothing but sinners... They will go to hell and you mark my words... Islam does not believe in them, for they interpret God's words to serve their own agenda, their own evil hunger... I am a Muslim, yet I cried for you, I cried for all of you... I am a Muslim and I condemned these heinous acts... I am a Muslim, yet those who committed these crimes are no brothers of mine...Kristin, your memory will go on... Your spirit is here, here with those who care...
Five years ago, humanity was shaken... Five years later and humanity is still at war... We are at war with Terrorism... Terrorism has taken new forms and new shape... Terrorism has taken over my country Iraq... Terrorism has taken hundreds of thousands of lives...Innocent Lives... But as I said, these lives may not be here with us physically, but their spirits are lingering about, protecting us with the help of God... You know Kristin, I always thought that those who die innocently are the chosen ones... The chosen ones by God... They are the ones that will fill heaven with their goodness... Fill heaven with their spirits... Kristin, your loss probably was beyond painful, but I say this, you are the lucky ones...The lucky ones that were chosen by God on that Day... As I write this, Im getting goosebumps...For all of a sudden I feel a surge of energy...A strange tingling feeling that just ran through my body... I just looked outside the window, and I can see a glimpse of the Sun's rays trying hard to fight the clouds... Is that You Kristin...Is that You??? Is that you trying to shed a smile on Brendan and your family???
I dont know you Kristin, but somehow, I really wish I did...I really wish I had met you, I wish I had spoken to you... I have so many questions in my mind... We come from two different cultures yet I feel so close...so close to your ideas...to your ways... Kristin, I may not have suffered the pain your family suffered with your loss...But Im suffering everyday through the Iraqi children's eyes...Those eyes that are innocently forced shut by the same people that ended your life... We will get them Kristin, if not in my lifetime then in my children's life time... We have to get them...We have to...There is no other way...
Your name and your Spirit Kristin A Irvine-Ryan will ever be engraved in millions of people's minds and hearts and I assure you it will forever be engraved in mine...For you are still here, still here with us...Your spirit is soaring high above...Soaring in the ever blue skies...Soaring above with your wings flapping...Flapping in the beautiful breeze... The breeze of hope, the breeze of Life...Flapping forever for you are an Angel... An Angel of Humanity...
September 08, 2006
The Mind of an Iraqi Man...
It was the journey from hell...My first stop was Amsterdam...The security there was pretty tight...At the gate of the airline they take everyone individually and interview them...My turn came up and the lady looked at my passport...Asked me a few basic questions then she said, why do you have a British passport???I lived there for almost 12 years...Why did you go to Jordan???I was there on R&R...Why did you go to Kuwait???We were demobilizing from Baghdad...What about Egypt???It was a vacation...Your passport is very interesting, you have been to many different places...Yup, my R&R's...Your husband is Iraqi???Yes but he is a US citizen...She left me standing there for a few minutes then returned and asked me about who packed the bag, if I had electronics there and if I was carrying any liquids...So far not bad...She is clear she shouted...Good to go...
The flight from Amsterdam was horrible...As the hostess was giving out the entry forms to the US, she asked what my passport was...Told her, got the forms, and next to me the man said, where are you from originally...I said Iraq...The biggest smile on his face appeared...Me too, but Im Canadian...Hmm, umm ok, thats nice...I prepared to put my headset on cuz I had a feeling that the conversation wont be stopping at that...and honestly, when Im on a plane, I hate talking, for me its more of a reflecting kinda journey...I just shut the whole world out and go into my own self...he nudged me...uhoh...showed me his kids pictures...cute...spoke about the political situation in Iraq...nothing new...Spoke about his college days...ok cool...Spoke about his life...And I just sat there thinking, Oh God, Please please make him sleep or something...I opened my book, trying to give him a hint...the nudge again...
What are you reading, he asked...a book i picked up from the airport, a romance...Oh he said, Im over that ever since my teenage years...Ok nice to know...after a few minutes I switched the monitor on and started to watch a movie...Few minutes into it...Mr Nudge, nudged me AGAIN...Could you please help me figure the control...Sure I said...Showed him how to happily so he can get off my back...an hour later, as I was trying to doze off, Mr Nudge woke me up just to say I am Bored???OMG OMG OMG... That was it for me...I mean he just went overboard now...Its very difficult for me to actually sleep on a plane, and when I do its a blessing...So for him to actually wake me up just to tell me he is bored was just a big NO NO...Please Mr, could you leave me alone and let me sleep just for a few minutes...He gave me a shrug and continued by saying "I can't sleep on planes"...I mean he got under my skin so much that I was about to call the hostess and ask her to move me...But instead I put my headset on and turned the other way...Thank God, Mr Nudge Finally got the point...
I arrive at Detroit airport to catch my flight to my destination...I head to the passport check and as my turn came up, the woman took one look at my passport then waved the passport in the air and shouted at the top of her voice "We have an Iraqi born here"...You might as well tell them Im wearing black underwear too I thought...Sheesh...People started looking at me as if I had a disease...Then this big guy came and escorted me into a room filled with what looked like people from the Middle East..Please have a seat ma'am...Your name will be called...I have to catch a flight I said...Dont worry Ma'am...Ok, I take a seat and wait...10 minutes passed...20...30...40...45 minutes and I just couldnt sit there anymore...I go to one officer and said:
Me: Can you please tell me how much more will I be waiting???
Officer: I dont know Maam
Me: I have a plane to catch
Officer: The airline will fix that for you
Me: What exactly am I doing here???I have a British Passport which is a visa waiver status...
Officer: I dunno Maam, its part of a program you have enlisted in
Me: What Program???
Officer: I dunno Maam
Me: I thought you just said I enrolled into a program, and I dont remember signing anything that subjects me to waiting...
Officer: I dunno Maam, please have a seat...
Me: No, Im not gonna have a seat until you tell me whats going on...Ive been awake for more than 36 hours...I havent had a smoke in more than 10 hours,Im tired and exhausted and I want to catch my flight...
Officer: Sorry Maam I cant help you...
Me: Then what do YOU KNOW??? Dont you work here???
Officer: Please take a seat Maam
By that time, my eyes filled up with tears and I just wanted to go back home...I didnt even care if my bad attitude would have resulted in them sending me home...At that point nothing mattered except maybe a puff of a cigarrette...I succumbed to the situation and watched as the room emptied and people's names were called out...I was the last in the room when a lady asked me to have my fingertips scanned, a picture taken and then go with her to identify my bag...Where am I going I asked??? You sending me home??? No Maam, you will be on your way to catch the flight...Just identify your bag and you will be on your way...
I go to the belt and its empty...I scan the bags on the floor for a pink ribbon suitcase...(I always have a ribbon on the handle incase someone has an identical bag)...No Pink ribbon...No Bag... mine was none to be seen...Pre Baghdad I woulda wailed and made a scene, but infact, I just shrugged and said My bag aint here, its probably lost, just my luck...Its ok the officer said, contact the airlines and they will find it for you...Hmm, yeah, sure...I go through security, a machine that blows air on you to check for explosives...then off I went running to find the closest smoking area...The Sky Box, the only place in Detroit airport...Its a sports bar...I sat there ordered a coke, smoked 10 cigarettes and emailed HUBBY..."Bag is lost, had a bad trip, just get me Opti Free lense solution as I cant open my eyes and btw Im in a very bad mood" End of email...
This trip was just awful...I mean really awful...24 hours from point of take off to point of arrival...The gruelling wait and that annoying Mr nudge...Never again I said to HUBBY...Never again...Forget the Chocolate Pancakes, I will get the recipe and do them myself...I usually am not rude to anyone, but I think its the lack of nicotine that just fired me up...And the fact that my passport was waved in the air just like a criminal's...I felt like I was in a cartoon where all arrows where pointing "She is Iraqi Born, she is a terrorist" Oh well...Security wise I think its great cuz I feel much safer, but to have all eyes on you, I mean that aint cool...
I arrive here hoping to have some relaxing time, but the weather is just horrible...raining all day long with thunder and lightening...My one phobia in the world...Skies cleared yeterday and not a drop of rain, which was great...I got my offer for Baghdad, and received my country clearance...Im just waiting to see the results from HUBBY's interview...Once he gets the offer, we will be on our way...But this time, we wont be together...This time he will be outside the GZ...Somewhere very dangerous...While I will be protected within the T walls of the GZ...Im still trying to convince him to change his mind...That stubborn mind...The mind of a Middle Eastern Man...The Mind...The Mind of an Iraqi Man...
The flight from Amsterdam was horrible...As the hostess was giving out the entry forms to the US, she asked what my passport was...Told her, got the forms, and next to me the man said, where are you from originally...I said Iraq...The biggest smile on his face appeared...Me too, but Im Canadian...Hmm, umm ok, thats nice...I prepared to put my headset on cuz I had a feeling that the conversation wont be stopping at that...and honestly, when Im on a plane, I hate talking, for me its more of a reflecting kinda journey...I just shut the whole world out and go into my own self...he nudged me...uhoh...showed me his kids pictures...cute...spoke about the political situation in Iraq...nothing new...Spoke about his college days...ok cool...Spoke about his life...And I just sat there thinking, Oh God, Please please make him sleep or something...I opened my book, trying to give him a hint...the nudge again...
What are you reading, he asked...a book i picked up from the airport, a romance...Oh he said, Im over that ever since my teenage years...Ok nice to know...after a few minutes I switched the monitor on and started to watch a movie...Few minutes into it...Mr Nudge, nudged me AGAIN...Could you please help me figure the control...Sure I said...Showed him how to happily so he can get off my back...an hour later, as I was trying to doze off, Mr Nudge woke me up just to say I am Bored???OMG OMG OMG... That was it for me...I mean he just went overboard now...Its very difficult for me to actually sleep on a plane, and when I do its a blessing...So for him to actually wake me up just to tell me he is bored was just a big NO NO...Please Mr, could you leave me alone and let me sleep just for a few minutes...He gave me a shrug and continued by saying "I can't sleep on planes"...I mean he got under my skin so much that I was about to call the hostess and ask her to move me...But instead I put my headset on and turned the other way...Thank God, Mr Nudge Finally got the point...
I arrive at Detroit airport to catch my flight to my destination...I head to the passport check and as my turn came up, the woman took one look at my passport then waved the passport in the air and shouted at the top of her voice "We have an Iraqi born here"...You might as well tell them Im wearing black underwear too I thought...Sheesh...People started looking at me as if I had a disease...Then this big guy came and escorted me into a room filled with what looked like people from the Middle East..Please have a seat ma'am...Your name will be called...I have to catch a flight I said...Dont worry Ma'am...Ok, I take a seat and wait...10 minutes passed...20...30...40...45 minutes and I just couldnt sit there anymore...I go to one officer and said:
Me: Can you please tell me how much more will I be waiting???
Officer: I dont know Maam
Me: I have a plane to catch
Officer: The airline will fix that for you
Me: What exactly am I doing here???I have a British Passport which is a visa waiver status...
Officer: I dunno Maam, its part of a program you have enlisted in
Me: What Program???
Officer: I dunno Maam
Me: I thought you just said I enrolled into a program, and I dont remember signing anything that subjects me to waiting...
Officer: I dunno Maam, please have a seat...
Me: No, Im not gonna have a seat until you tell me whats going on...Ive been awake for more than 36 hours...I havent had a smoke in more than 10 hours,Im tired and exhausted and I want to catch my flight...
Officer: Sorry Maam I cant help you...
Me: Then what do YOU KNOW??? Dont you work here???
Officer: Please take a seat Maam
By that time, my eyes filled up with tears and I just wanted to go back home...I didnt even care if my bad attitude would have resulted in them sending me home...At that point nothing mattered except maybe a puff of a cigarrette...I succumbed to the situation and watched as the room emptied and people's names were called out...I was the last in the room when a lady asked me to have my fingertips scanned, a picture taken and then go with her to identify my bag...Where am I going I asked??? You sending me home??? No Maam, you will be on your way to catch the flight...Just identify your bag and you will be on your way...
I go to the belt and its empty...I scan the bags on the floor for a pink ribbon suitcase...(I always have a ribbon on the handle incase someone has an identical bag)...No Pink ribbon...No Bag... mine was none to be seen...Pre Baghdad I woulda wailed and made a scene, but infact, I just shrugged and said My bag aint here, its probably lost, just my luck...Its ok the officer said, contact the airlines and they will find it for you...Hmm, yeah, sure...I go through security, a machine that blows air on you to check for explosives...then off I went running to find the closest smoking area...The Sky Box, the only place in Detroit airport...Its a sports bar...I sat there ordered a coke, smoked 10 cigarettes and emailed HUBBY..."Bag is lost, had a bad trip, just get me Opti Free lense solution as I cant open my eyes and btw Im in a very bad mood" End of email...
This trip was just awful...I mean really awful...24 hours from point of take off to point of arrival...The gruelling wait and that annoying Mr nudge...Never again I said to HUBBY...Never again...Forget the Chocolate Pancakes, I will get the recipe and do them myself...I usually am not rude to anyone, but I think its the lack of nicotine that just fired me up...And the fact that my passport was waved in the air just like a criminal's...I felt like I was in a cartoon where all arrows where pointing "She is Iraqi Born, she is a terrorist" Oh well...Security wise I think its great cuz I feel much safer, but to have all eyes on you, I mean that aint cool...
I arrive here hoping to have some relaxing time, but the weather is just horrible...raining all day long with thunder and lightening...My one phobia in the world...Skies cleared yeterday and not a drop of rain, which was great...I got my offer for Baghdad, and received my country clearance...Im just waiting to see the results from HUBBY's interview...Once he gets the offer, we will be on our way...But this time, we wont be together...This time he will be outside the GZ...Somewhere very dangerous...While I will be protected within the T walls of the GZ...Im still trying to convince him to change his mind...That stubborn mind...The mind of a Middle Eastern Man...The Mind...The Mind of an Iraqi Man...
