neurotic Iraqi wife
September 28, 2006
Snippets of My Mind
As its Ramadan and HUBBY is still back in the States, I find myself living the life of a bat...I stay awake until the early hours of the day and sleep during the whole day...Until ofcourse it becomes that exciting time of breaking my fast...which basically doesnt really serve the purpose of Ramadan of actually suffering... I can account for the different reasons why Im actually staying up late...One, I dont want to miss the dawn prayers...Two, I stay up reading the Quran...Three, Jet lag, theres like 8 hours difference...
Last year when I was in the Green Zone, I never got to fast...I probably fasted a few days then I gave up...The hectic work and the need to have a functioning mind during the day made it extremely difficult for a person like me to give up caffeine and cigarettes... I need these 2 for my own sanity... So this year Im trying my best to be good... As for reading the Quran, well I do that every year... But this year its somehow different...This year Im trying to have a better understanding of the holy book...Its not that easy to understand...During my London days I bought a translation of the book in English...Yup thats sad, I cant understand the most important book in my own language...
Its like Im on a mission...a mission to see from where do these so called bin ladens, zarqawis, saddamists and Fanatical Islamists get their words from...So far, in the first few pages of the holy book, it says: Anyone who kills a believer will have God's wrath on him. Then in another part it says dont be the transgressor, for God doesnt like the transgressors...It also says there is no force in religeon...ie, you cant force people to become muslims, they have to do it on their own accord...Another important thing, it says :never attack those who are praying in mosques, unless they attack you first...and thats only for self defence...
I am ignorant when it comes to my religeon, but those statements, written in the most simple manner that you, me and everyone else can understand should not be ignored...Those people who use Islam as their reasoning for killing innocents are nothing but insects, trying to tarnish the name of Islam...They call themselves mulsims, they say they are the true believers, they say they are fighting in the name of Islam....In the name of God...In the name of the prophet...As we all witnessed the videos, the beheadings, where they utter the most pure words on their filthy tongues....They have the nerve to say "Allahu Akbar" God is Great, when they are committing the worst of crimes...barbaric crimes...
Their mission, their mission isnt to pass the word, no, their mission is to make the world hate the normal muslims...The true muslims...their mission is to sow a seed of hatred so they can have more excuses to kill the innocent people...They kill, they torture, so the ordinary people suffer... They are now sitting and laughing... laughing at the world...
As with every Ramadan, the Arab world is inundated with arabic series...One storyline after the other... Its like a marathon...Im not much of a TV person, but this time, there are two series that I was drawn to...Both of them are stories revolving around terrorism plots...They are ofcourse depicted from the the 7th of July London bombing, and the other is taken from the Saudi and Jordanian bombings...I am pretty impressed that the Arabs have finally gone out of their cocoons and are helping in educating the people about these terrorists...Although these are nothing but series on a tv, it may have an effect on the younger crowd, those who are easily swayed...Both of these series show the good muslims, and those who claim to be muslims...The stories have one and only one message: Those who are doing these bombings and killing the innocents are nothing but true terrorists and are far far from the teachings of Islam...
As for the classified info that was leaked regarding the security situation in Iraq, well, Im not surprised...Are you??? If you are, then you are not living in this world...The war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan and the war in Lebanon has made this world far more dangerous than it used to be 5 or 10 yrs back... It has allowed the terrorists to regroup themselves and use the innocent civilians as their targets...They use these wars to brainwash and train those who are easily swayed... And the crimes committed by the coalition forces against the civilians dont make things easier either... The removal of Saddam was a must, but the war and the aftermath was not a must...Many of my Iraqi colleagues told me that in April/May of 2003 they were extremely happy, extremely welcoming to the troops... But as time passed and the basic necessities were not met and the violence spread people lost their faith in the Iraqi gov and the coaltion forces... They say right now their only faith is in God and nothing else...
When Generals and Majors say there isnt a civil war in Iraq, then dont believe whatever they say anymore...Civil war IS TAKING PLACE...Whats the definition of civil war??? Look it up and you will find this...So dont tell me that there isnt one right now in Iraq...There is one, a dangerous one... How can it be solved??? I dunno, I would think by uniting the factions...But how can you unite people who have different agendas??? First off we have to find out what the Shia's want and what the Sunni's want then work through a common ground...I know its easier said than done...
The lack of post war planning on Iraq resulted in a virus similar to that of HIV... It lessened the immune system and made a way to many other infections to take place... It brought all those bacterias inside and allowed them to manifest and multiply... The atmosphere was perfect for these bacteria to stick like leeches to the blood cells and consequently result in system failure, in DEATH... The virus brought on people from Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iran, Sudan, Egypt and I dunno where else to fight their so called "Holy War" on a people that suffered tremendously during Saddam's tyrant regime...
HUBBY and I are from 2 different sects, and Im not gonna lie and say that we dont argue about whats happening right now in Iraq...Cuz we do...I have my own ideas and he has his... Whenever a Sunni Mosque gets hit he would say "Look at what your people have done to us" and when a bombing takes place in a shia neighbourhood I would point the finger at him and say "look at the terrorists, your people, look at what they have done to mine?" But at the end of the day we both agree on one thing and one thing only, the unity of Iraq...
Although HUBBY lived most of his life in the States, and worked with Americans, he said he was shocked at the calibre that was sent to rebuild Iraq... One guy who was put responsible for a major program was infact a sewage specialist...And umm the program he was heading had nothing to do with sewage believe me...I wish it was, he woulda helped with the failed sewage systems we have back there...The other guy who was managing some major projects, was in Iraq previously and his company has gone bankrupt...I mean dont they run a background check on these people???
These people were brought in for one of the most important tasks in history... The rebuilding of Iraq... Yet the last thing the US gov thought of was check for qualifications... Oh well, whats done is done and cannot be undone...or can it??? A few months ago I was against the coalition forces leaving, but now, I dunno...Now I think its time for them to leave... For one reason, and one reason only... Let the terrorists kill each other, maybe one will eradicate the other, just in mathematics (my major) A negative multiply it with another negative, you get a positive... I keep reading some comments on some blogs which drive me mad like "Iraqis are lazy, Iraqis are selfish, they should stand up against the terrorists, they should take control of the situation..." or "Iraqis should be grateful, thankful blah blah blah..."
For your info, Iraqis ARE fighting the terrorists because Iraqis themselves dont believe in Bin Laden or Zarqawi...Maybe a small minority does, like the salafis or wahabis...A strict form of Islam that was brought to us by Saudi Arabia mostly...But the normal Iraqi citizen, who managed to live with thy neighbour of different sect and different religeon for decades is not happy... They dont just stand and watch their country and their people being torn apart to shreds... And hence they are the ones getting killed... I dont even know where Im going with this, except that Im blabbing...Too many ideas and thoughts trying to come out all at once...These are just some snippets...Snippets of My Mind...
Last year when I was in the Green Zone, I never got to fast...I probably fasted a few days then I gave up...The hectic work and the need to have a functioning mind during the day made it extremely difficult for a person like me to give up caffeine and cigarettes... I need these 2 for my own sanity... So this year Im trying my best to be good... As for reading the Quran, well I do that every year... But this year its somehow different...This year Im trying to have a better understanding of the holy book...Its not that easy to understand...During my London days I bought a translation of the book in English...Yup thats sad, I cant understand the most important book in my own language...
Its like Im on a mission...a mission to see from where do these so called bin ladens, zarqawis, saddamists and Fanatical Islamists get their words from...So far, in the first few pages of the holy book, it says: Anyone who kills a believer will have God's wrath on him. Then in another part it says dont be the transgressor, for God doesnt like the transgressors...It also says there is no force in religeon...ie, you cant force people to become muslims, they have to do it on their own accord...Another important thing, it says :never attack those who are praying in mosques, unless they attack you first...and thats only for self defence...
I am ignorant when it comes to my religeon, but those statements, written in the most simple manner that you, me and everyone else can understand should not be ignored...Those people who use Islam as their reasoning for killing innocents are nothing but insects, trying to tarnish the name of Islam...They call themselves mulsims, they say they are the true believers, they say they are fighting in the name of Islam....In the name of God...In the name of the prophet...As we all witnessed the videos, the beheadings, where they utter the most pure words on their filthy tongues....They have the nerve to say "Allahu Akbar" God is Great, when they are committing the worst of crimes...barbaric crimes...
Their mission, their mission isnt to pass the word, no, their mission is to make the world hate the normal muslims...The true muslims...their mission is to sow a seed of hatred so they can have more excuses to kill the innocent people...They kill, they torture, so the ordinary people suffer... They are now sitting and laughing... laughing at the world...
As with every Ramadan, the Arab world is inundated with arabic series...One storyline after the other... Its like a marathon...Im not much of a TV person, but this time, there are two series that I was drawn to...Both of them are stories revolving around terrorism plots...They are ofcourse depicted from the the 7th of July London bombing, and the other is taken from the Saudi and Jordanian bombings...I am pretty impressed that the Arabs have finally gone out of their cocoons and are helping in educating the people about these terrorists...Although these are nothing but series on a tv, it may have an effect on the younger crowd, those who are easily swayed...Both of these series show the good muslims, and those who claim to be muslims...The stories have one and only one message: Those who are doing these bombings and killing the innocents are nothing but true terrorists and are far far from the teachings of Islam...
As for the classified info that was leaked regarding the security situation in Iraq, well, Im not surprised...Are you??? If you are, then you are not living in this world...The war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan and the war in Lebanon has made this world far more dangerous than it used to be 5 or 10 yrs back... It has allowed the terrorists to regroup themselves and use the innocent civilians as their targets...They use these wars to brainwash and train those who are easily swayed... And the crimes committed by the coalition forces against the civilians dont make things easier either... The removal of Saddam was a must, but the war and the aftermath was not a must...Many of my Iraqi colleagues told me that in April/May of 2003 they were extremely happy, extremely welcoming to the troops... But as time passed and the basic necessities were not met and the violence spread people lost their faith in the Iraqi gov and the coaltion forces... They say right now their only faith is in God and nothing else...
When Generals and Majors say there isnt a civil war in Iraq, then dont believe whatever they say anymore...Civil war IS TAKING PLACE...Whats the definition of civil war??? Look it up and you will find this...So dont tell me that there isnt one right now in Iraq...There is one, a dangerous one... How can it be solved??? I dunno, I would think by uniting the factions...But how can you unite people who have different agendas??? First off we have to find out what the Shia's want and what the Sunni's want then work through a common ground...I know its easier said than done...
The lack of post war planning on Iraq resulted in a virus similar to that of HIV... It lessened the immune system and made a way to many other infections to take place... It brought all those bacterias inside and allowed them to manifest and multiply... The atmosphere was perfect for these bacteria to stick like leeches to the blood cells and consequently result in system failure, in DEATH... The virus brought on people from Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iran, Sudan, Egypt and I dunno where else to fight their so called "Holy War" on a people that suffered tremendously during Saddam's tyrant regime...
HUBBY and I are from 2 different sects, and Im not gonna lie and say that we dont argue about whats happening right now in Iraq...Cuz we do...I have my own ideas and he has his... Whenever a Sunni Mosque gets hit he would say "Look at what your people have done to us" and when a bombing takes place in a shia neighbourhood I would point the finger at him and say "look at the terrorists, your people, look at what they have done to mine?" But at the end of the day we both agree on one thing and one thing only, the unity of Iraq...
Although HUBBY lived most of his life in the States, and worked with Americans, he said he was shocked at the calibre that was sent to rebuild Iraq... One guy who was put responsible for a major program was infact a sewage specialist...And umm the program he was heading had nothing to do with sewage believe me...I wish it was, he woulda helped with the failed sewage systems we have back there...The other guy who was managing some major projects, was in Iraq previously and his company has gone bankrupt...I mean dont they run a background check on these people???
These people were brought in for one of the most important tasks in history... The rebuilding of Iraq... Yet the last thing the US gov thought of was check for qualifications... Oh well, whats done is done and cannot be undone...or can it??? A few months ago I was against the coalition forces leaving, but now, I dunno...Now I think its time for them to leave... For one reason, and one reason only... Let the terrorists kill each other, maybe one will eradicate the other, just in mathematics (my major) A negative multiply it with another negative, you get a positive... I keep reading some comments on some blogs which drive me mad like "Iraqis are lazy, Iraqis are selfish, they should stand up against the terrorists, they should take control of the situation..." or "Iraqis should be grateful, thankful blah blah blah..."
For your info, Iraqis ARE fighting the terrorists because Iraqis themselves dont believe in Bin Laden or Zarqawi...Maybe a small minority does, like the salafis or wahabis...A strict form of Islam that was brought to us by Saudi Arabia mostly...But the normal Iraqi citizen, who managed to live with thy neighbour of different sect and different religeon for decades is not happy... They dont just stand and watch their country and their people being torn apart to shreds... And hence they are the ones getting killed... I dont even know where Im going with this, except that Im blabbing...Too many ideas and thoughts trying to come out all at once...These are just some snippets...Snippets of My Mind...
13 Comments:
you are still bloging!
long long posts too like always!
haha:))
Ramadan kareem:)
as for the Quran part, i suggest you read tafseer, lots of the ayat are not meant in the way they look, try any tafseer, most simple one is tafseer il jalalen.
wish you all luck!
:D
I don't have an answer for you NIW. How do you stop a civil war?
The biggest mistake, I think, was in not having enough troops from the start. But that can't be changed and you won't see an increase in the future. It will have to be up to Iraqis to provide that kind of manpower. But how to do that when nobody trusts each other? And for good reason?
Yes, I've been hearing the same about the reconstruction from other sources. The small projects that our troops have overseen are okay. But the big ones are crap. Not enough competent subs and not enough competent oversight. Not to mention corruption.
Whether you are Sunni or Shia, the killing is still painful. Both sides are suffering. Isn't it time to say enough?
"But as time passed and the basic necessities were not met and the violence spread people lost their faith in the Iraqi gov and the coaltion forces..."
And you know what? The coalition forces are losing their belief in the Iraqi people. They see a nation of people who won't stand up and take care of themselves. The U.S. has given so much equipment and created so much - and the Iraqis won't use it and take care of it.
They claim that they can't use the brand new garbage trucks to go pick up garbage because it's too dangerous. But then they walk right by an IED that the Iraqi Police are trying to keep them away from. They will walk right past that known danger (an identified IED), but won't work with a "maybe" danger (the possibility of getting shot while picking up garbage).
Coalition forces are seeing a people who want somebody to give them everything and do everything for them. A new sewage treatment plant is built and up and running. But the Iraqis won't maintain it and abandon it. How is it supposed to do its job if nobody is there to keep it running and nobody does the work to keep it working right?
There are so many examples like this. Water treatment plants, sewage treatment plants, garbage trucks, etc, etc, etc, all given to the Iraqi people, and all abandonded because the Iraqi people don't want to do the work.
Trust me, the coalition forces would love to see the Iraqi people stand up and take care of themselves so they can go home. But it's not happening. I'm about ready to say "Abandon Iraq to its future. Leave and let them either learn to walk and take care of themselves or fail into oblivion. It will at least be their choice."
Harsh words, but you cannot blame the Coalition Forces for all that is wrong in Iraq. The Iraqis have to do their part, and they're not doing it.
The basic problem in Iraq is that everybody is blaming everybody else when in fact everyone should confess that all of us are to blame, perhaps not equally, but that would deter from a much-needed "reconcillation". This applies both to Iraqis-Coalition and Sunni-Shiites.
Neurotic, you were one of the reasons I started blogging. I salute you for writing an emotional, intelligent and heartfelt blog. One thing though, please refrain from using as many triple dots....as possible...it helps giving a stream of consciousness...feel...but too much of it becomes...daunting...to read....:)
Sighs wants to blame Iraqis?? What a load of crap. Iraq may have had a dictator, but it also had functioning civil services and the coalition scrapped a working system and replaced it with a lot of corrupt incompetents.
Don't blame that on Iraqis.
The US military looked to Israel for training in intercity combat. And wow, big surprise, they got the same results from their tactics that the Israelis get in Gaza. And you're gonna blame that on Iraqis??
You start breaking into people's homes and treat them all like criminals and you're not going to "win hearts and minds".
When you show such complete disdain for people, don't expect them to step up and make your life easier.
This situation was created by the US incompetence of President Bush and his cronies, like good ole Rumsfeld who threatened to fire anyone who bugged him about the after war planning.
Rummy who shrugged it all off with "democracy is messy".
I've read the soldier blogs with the cursing and name calling of the locals. Don't pretend that actual respect breaks through the attitudes of the resentful backdoor draftees who think nobody is as good as a US citizen, and even then only the rich or the white ones REALLY count.
That attitude is enshrined in the new legislation coming out of the Bush administration.
It's top down corruption.
So let's give a nod to the average Iraqi citizen who never embraced the evil of their leader, would that US citizens were so wholey untouched by the greater evil.
Results After U.S. Military Intervention:
Germany -- success
Japan -- success
Korea -- success
Vietnam -- failed
Haiti -- failing
Afghanistan -- mixed
Kosovo -- partial success
Iraq -- failing
The constant entity in all these cases is the USA and her objective of establishing a decent, modern liberal democratic country. The variables are the country and its situation.
I have come to believe that a "good" democratic country requires a huge majority--perhaps 98-99%--of the people to agree to the basic liberal democracy concepts. I think Iraq is well short of this level. My guess is more than 20% of Iraqis harbor some deal-breaker idea like "Sunnis get all the oil money" or "Shiites get all the oil money" or "We should have strict Sharia!" or "My tribe should rule because we are more violent than the others."
Hi Khalid, Its good to hear from you...Its been a long long time...hope u and ur family are doing ok. I'll definitely get the tafseer book. The english version of the Quran that I got the other day is pretty good, helps with alot of things I didnt understand.
Lynnette, maybe this is the $1M question. How can the violence stop?I read an article about polls done on Iraqis' opinion regarding US withdrawal, and I was extremely shocked by the findings. The majority want the US out, which brings me to ask another question, if the troops do pull out, what happens next??? I mean there is already a civil war, but are the Iraqis ready to defend their country and their civilians??? I doubt it very much. The Iraqi army, together with the Police have been infiltrated by insurgents and by militia supporters. I dunno...Im just so sick and tired watching news and listening to politician's BS
Sighs, thats not true. Iraqis are ready to do anything and Ive seen it in my own eyes. They cleaned toilets, removed garbage, drove trucks, you name it they do it. We even had dust sweepers in the compound I was living in. They do it not because they want to, they do it inorder to provide for their families and basically to survive. And by the way, one of the biggest problems that the contractors were faced with in Iraq, is the usage of machinery. For example, hospitals or clinics, medical equipment was brought in from the US, equipment that some nurses or doctors never used in Iraq, and hence don't know how to make them work. Training wasnt sufficient enough, and some didnt even have training for these machinery, which resulted in damage. New machines that cost the US gov hundred of thousands of dollars, damaged in a few days. So now they have another thing which is called O&M. Operation and Maintenance that deals with such issues. The US contractors got so pissed off because of the damages, but hey, how do u expect a kid to use a potty if you dont train him first???
Yes KK, I totally agree with you. Everyone was/is wrong. I actually blame the Iraqi Gov for its weakness. I just dont understand what the hell they are doing until now, apart from having meetings and disagreeing. As for the (...) its a habbit I picked up, but just for you, I will try to refrain from it. As You can see, Im trying in the comments section, lol
Yes (536am) Anon, I agree. It all depends on the people of that nation. But blv me if I told you, that many were ready and happy for the change, but then things deteriated when outsiders came and took charge of the insurgency. They regrouped and became more powerful. Then we got the militias who just shoot and kidnap. Its a total mess
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
You say the Iraqis are out there doing the work. They may be, but not everywhere. My husband is a battalion commander in the green zone. He is out in the red zone every day. He has fought heavily with the Iraqi in charge of the garbage pick-up for one area. The Iraqi *refused* to send the trucks out. "Somebody might get killed." So there were brand new garbage trucks sitting behind locked gates while the garbage piled up in the streets. Oh, and come to find out, the manager wanted to keep the trucks new so he could sell them. Corruption.
The part of Baghdad that he works in had sewer lines that had failed years ago (under Saddam's watch). They put in new sewer lines, pump stations, and a new sewage treatment plant. One worker got killed, so everybody refused to go back to the plant, it is no longer operational, and the sewage is being dumped into the river.
Do those stories sound like the Iraqis are doing their part? The only way my husband could get the garbage picked up was to pay *kids* $5 a day to go out and pick up trash. Then the insurgents spread the rumor that they were killing kids who were working for the Americans to pick up trash, so everybody stopped coming.
There is story after story after story like these. Another battalion commander recently said that "It's at the 7 month mark that you realize you can't make a difference. Until then, you're full of hope. Then reality sets in and you realize these people don't want our help and don't want to change."
Iraq's social services were not always functional. They only worked in the areas that Saddam liked. Go to Dora. Find out how those people have lived for years because they were not the *favored people* under Saddam. They haven't had sewage or water or electricity for many years under Saddam. They are getting some of those things for the first time. Does that sound like the system was working? It worked for the favored people only. The U.S. wants it to work for *everyone*.
I still say that nothing will change over there until the Iraqis want it to. It will only change when they want a good life more than they want to kill people of a different sect.
I talked to my husband (who remember, is in the Red Zone daily) about this, and he made a few comments.
He asked if you've ever been to City Hall in Baghdad. He says they are the most corrupt organization he's ever seen, and the people in power line their pockets at the expense of the poor and hopeless.
He also said that on many of projects, he wanted it more than the Iraqis did. He wanted Dora cleand up. He wanted the sewers and garbage system to work. He was pushing so hard, and it didn't work because he wanted it more than the Iraqis.
The Iraqis need to take a good hard look at themselves and see where their priorities really are. The corruption starts with them. But yes, there are Americans that will take advantage of it.
Well Sighs, Im sure your husband knows better than I do, cuz Ive only ventured once into the red zone. He may be right, but believe me the majority of Iraqis that I worked with are hardworking and only want the best for their country. I guess wherever you go in the world, you wil find those that dont wanna do anything and those who really do.
neurotic Iraqi wife
Thanks for your blog, I'm a female, and have been recently hired to work in Iraq as a contractor, they say it will be 10 minutes from the green zone. Can you please tell me if that is a good or bad thing in relation to security. I'm concerned of course. Also can you tell me if the green zone is safer than any other zone? I would greatly appreciate any assistance that you can provide. Thanks Anonymous
Anon, I have no idea where 10 mins from the GZ can be...It can be anywhere. If its not in the GZ or a military base, then there is no safety. The GZ is relatively safe compared to the outside, together with ofcourse the Bases, like Camp Victory and Camp Stryker, etc...Anywhere else is prone to attacks.
Altho earlier this year, a rocket did hit the GZ, the compound where we were staying in. But thank God nobody got injured. You will get used to it, dont worry. Im not trying to scare you or anything, but just to prepare you. First make sure what place youre going to be in. You can email me if you want the area's name and I can tell u whether its relatively safe or not. Hope this helps...
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