neurotic Iraqi wife

Last New Years, Tyre explosion, pretty bad wasnt it.... 

I cant believe how time flew so fast, its kinda scary. It was last year like this day when HUBBY came over to get to know my family. We had also decided to go to a Safari trip for New years eve, which if anyone is wondering, contains no animals. Safari trips in the UAE simply means taking a 4 wheel drive through the sand dunes, then stopping at a place where you can sand ski, ride camels, sit in tents and watch a belly dancer do her stuff.

I thought it would be the perfect place especially when HUBBY hasnt experienced such a thing before and I wanted him to have fun. At the time we still werent married and the aspect of me spending New years eve with a single man was a huge issue for my family. But I managed to convince them since we were going with a couple of my friends.

The ride itself on the sand dunes was just amazing. I loved the adrelanin rush when the driver would go on the highest dune and would drive the car so fast you would think you are gonna fall off the cliff. My friends werent so keen, they kept telling the driver to slow down, whereas HUBBY and I would tell him" Go faster, cmon Faster". Then all of a sudden the local driver asked us if we wanted to have some beer. Umm beer???? Now??? Here???? he opened a secret compartment and abra cadabra there it was a mini fridge filled with beer cans. Its illegal for muslims to buy drinks here, you are allowed to drink in hotels but not in the streets. So for a local to offer beer in the car was like totally weird. We all looked at each other and if in unison we said NO, so what does the local do, grab a darn beer for himself. OMG the guy was out of his mind,how can he drink and drive, and not just drive along a street but drive through sand dunes......

After we arrived to the camp,miraculously in one piece, I got a zillion phonecalls from every single member of the family. God they didnt give us a break. First it was my dad with a very stern voice "Where are you? what are you doing? who is with you?" I really would have loved to answer "We are in a tent alone, making out and no one is around", hehe, I think that would have probably made dad take a safari trip himself in no time. Then my brother calls me" Where are you? what are you doing? who is with you? and I hope you aint doing anything that will let people talk about you. And be very careful now, DO NOT, and I mean it, DO NOT allow him to touch you, do you understand, not even a kiss on the cheek". I was like HUH??? then I replied "Umm bro, please dont worry about me" but in the back of my mind I was saying "Its partyyyyyyyyyyyy time, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay......"

Mom calls me just before 12 and asks the same darn questions, then my sister calls me, then my brother calls again, I wanted to shout, GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE!!!!, GEEZ, cant I be left alone for 1 second.....I actually became so paranoid that everytime HUBBY would touch me I freak out and push him away, poor thing. Then the countdown began and when the clock struck 12 everyone started kissing, I just stood there smiling at HUBBY, thinking "kiss me, kiss me, kiss me and my bro will bust your balls, cmon KISS MEEEEEEEEE, no one will know"LOL...

Needless to say it was just a small peck on the lips, since HUBBY was scared as hell anyone would see.....But hey it was a nice one....An hour later we had had enough and were so exhausted we asked the driver to take us back. The driver was sooooooooooo drunk we didnt think we were gonna make it safely. As we sat in the car, he started boasting about how much he spent on the extras in his car and how his tyres where the top of the range, bla bla bla, when suddenly we hear BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. Something like an explosion. We jumped off our seats, and he pulled over, the tyre exploded,LMAO. It just was hilarious. There he was showing off, and a second later his tyre explodes......

I was laughing my head off. I couldnt contain it anymore. It just was too hilarious. A lovely way to start the New Years....And so here it is again the end of another year. this time No safari, and no HUBBY. Im having a quiet dinner with my brother and his wife and HUBBY is having a DVD night in his trailer in the middle of the "War Zone".

I really really hope that 2005 will be a good year for everyone, especially for IRAQ. As for me, I really am praying that 2005 will be the year where HUBBY and I finally settle down in one place, wherever that place will be....

May God give patience and inner strength to everyone who lost loved ones in Iraq, May he give patience and inner strength to everyone who lost loved ones in the tsunami disaster and Finally May God give patience and inner strength to all Humanity.... Patience and Inner Strength, The Medicine That Heals all......

One month from today a historical event will take place. A day that millions of us are looking forward to. A day that Iraq has never encountered before. I know its not gonna be all honky dory, I know that major problems will arise, but at the end of the day I know that the "Real" Iraqis who really want Iraq to be peaceful again will come together and unite against all the odds.

Last Friday a conference was held in Abu Dhabi, UAE. A panel of Iraqi professors were present to inform us and educate us about the process of elections and explained how we, the Iraqi expats, can vote. They gave out leaflets explaining which documents we need that will allow us to vote, and another paper explaining the whole voting process.

A representative of the OCV(out of country votes) was also attending. He was there to encourage Iraqis to help out in the voting process, ie, to work for 3 weeks or a month assisting with answering queries, registering Iraqis, checking documents etc. The outcome of that conference was just overwhelming. It was a success that no one really expected. I myself was shocked, yet happy that people are indeed interested in being a part of this NEW IRAQ. Why shocked???Well the comments that I had heard before from many Iraqis here were quite negative. And some believe it or not were asking for the "Saddam" days to be back. Something I couldnt fathom.

But I guess as the day is nearing people are getting excited. Whatever the results will be, I am sure some parties will dispute it, others will probably say that these elections are illegal, which already is being said, and I am pretty sure that many innocent people will lose their lives, a very grim aspect. The people who are against these elections are the same ones that encourage the "Jihad" acts. They are the same ones that dont want Iraq to be peaceful, they are the same ones that dont want their own people to live.

HUBBY was telling me the other day about how the monarchy movement released a campaign on TV with the slogan" Vote for the monarchy and we guarantee you jobs, electricity, water and stability within 100 days". Umm is the "King" to be for real????? Do people actually believe this BS???Within 100 days the man is gonna give out jobs and restore electricity???? Let me tell you something about the "King". I lived in the UK and because I was working for one of the opposition groups, I had met him and spoken to him. As a person, he is really nice, infact he is a real gentleman, but as a politician he is a big NO NO. He knows nothing about politics, his views are always changing, always pretending to accomodate the "Iraqi people".

Before the war, he was encouraging the coalition forces, he came on SKY TV once and said whats a few 1000 lives being lost in the war compared to the millions that Saddam had murdered. Whats a few more lives lost compared to the freedom that the millions of others will have. A statement that I completely abhored. Then a few months after the war, he came on AL JAZEERA tv and said "We are against anyone who entered Iraq on an American Tanker". AH, WHAT?????HUH????WTH is he on about. I was like the man lost it. Then a few months ago I met one of his personal guards who chose to quit and come back to England. He is a young Iraqi man.

I met up with him and asked him why did he quit, knowing extremely well that the "King" was his idol. He told me horror stories of how the "King" would ask him to go and round up all the children from the streets for a photo shoot, to show the people how altruistic and noble he is then he would ask his guard to shoo them away. Ok now Im only saying what his guard said, I dont know this first hand. But we hear stories and stories not only about him but about many others.

I just took him as an example, cuz his views are unrealistic and I think that Iraqis should be very careful in the choices they make. In my own opinion they should go for people that really want to make a difference and are not just after the "Chair". The Chair is nice, its comfy, its high, its powerful, but more important than this "Chair" is the Land, the Land Bewteen the 2 Rivers.....

Wow am I really happy to see that people are linking to my website cuz they think Iraq was "rescued" and in the aftermath you get a neurotic wife blabbing to the whole world. Here's a quote by a miss muppet

"Oh, here's someting funny: occasionally I read some blogs from Iraq, and I came across one linked from Iraq the Model, called Neurotic Iraqi Wife. It's kind of nice to know that Iraqis can be just as boring, banal and insipid as any American. But I can't help but read and think, we rescued you from a horrible dictatorship for THIS?"

Edited by: Miss Moppet at: 12/28/04 2:35 pm

Umm just for your own information Miss Muppet you DID NOT, and I repeat you DID NOT rescue ME from a dictatorship cuz I never lived in Iraq since 1979. Had you read my blog fully you would have known that fact.Oh and one more thing it wasnt YOU who freed anyone, it was your fellow soldiers who risked their own lives to Free the IRAQI people.

I aint angry about the "boring, banal and insipid" statement cuz I believe its your right to have an opinion about ME, but to actually say the most horrid sentence about rescuing my people for "THIS" is something so callous and filled with ignorance. I am glad that many people that read my blog and my fellow Iraqi blogs have hearts of gold and are so caring and encouraging. As for you, all I can say is, infact I wont say anything cuz I have dedicated more than YOU DESERVE......

This is the Link for anyone who is interested.

Sorry for this post, but comments like these make me seethe with anger especially when it belittles my country that has suffered for so long and is still suffering. Iraq and Iraqis NEED your support and mostly your TLC.....

My sincere apologies to everyone who had sent me emails and left comments. Im so sorry for not replying or writing earlier. I had told myself that I wont write anything until my bestfriend's father gets released from those horrible kidnappers. And yes thank God he was released end of last week after being held hostage for about 12 days. I dont have any details since my friend couldnt really say much over the phone but all I know is that he was released after very long negotiations.

Many other things have happened during the past 2 weeks but I dont really see how can I have the heart to talk about events that seem miniscule and unimportant compared to the atrocious disaster that took place in Asia. 50,000 of innocent lives are lost,just like that. I have been stuck to the TV ever since and I cannot describe the anger, the misery, the sadness that Im going through together with probably many of you out there. I was there in Phuket just a month ago, and now all thats left are corpses and debris along its beautiful shore...

You tell me, is this fair??? 50,000 lives gone, finished, ended, lost. Is it fair??? I asked my mom who is a devout muslim, why mom, why is God allowing this to happen??? And then just like that I said "Im sorry mom but I think Im beginning to lose faith" My mom's face turned ashen and she immediatley said "istaghfur allah"(asking for forgivenss)"dont ever say that again its haram". I couldnt shut up and continued, why are you asking for forgiveness when you are witnessing the disasters that are happening all around us. Iraqis dying, soldiers dying, innocent people dying,Why mom is it happening, whats the reason, whats the point of it all??? Mom just continued asking for forgiveness. I even called HUBBY to Iraq and asked him why??? He said "well maybe God wanted them to go to a better place, infact he probably saved them"

I know I shouldnt be saying it, but its the truth, as the days pass my faith is diminishing slowly. I know God is gonna shower me with his wrath soon for my words, but Im reaching a stage where I need answers and I need them fast.I dunno if Im making any sense at all. Am I??? Is this normal or am I being plagued by the devil??? Has he won the battle??? I sound awful, darn.

I better change the subject, incase anyone is wondering about HUBBY, he is safe and sound. Says he is extremely busy at work and is looking forward to our next vacation. Yup he wants to go to Europe on his next R&R. I wander how many more R&R's are left. Infact and this is the honest truth, I stopped complaining. I stopped complaining about settling down or starting a family, I guess whenever it happens it happens. Do I sound callous??? I sure do hope not, but I realised that by worrying and thinking about my marriage 24/7 will only hinder my own life and so as I entered into my third decade I decided that its time for me to let go of all negativity. I cant say am 100% positive, but hey its a start.

I wanna write so much more but I doubt now is the right time. I have so many things to say, so many events that took place, so many stories to be told but I just dont see its appropriateness.

For all of you who celebrated Christmas I wanna say Merry Christmas (sorry its abit too late). I hope you had a great time. And for anyone out there who has lost loved ones all I can say is may they Rest in Peace.

And I repeat my apologies for everyone who sent me emails and wrote comments and I wanna thank you for caring and sending your best wishes. Some of these emails/comments sent a smile to my heart at a time when it really really needed it. THANK YOU.....

Last but not least I wanna say to everyone all over the world may this coming new year be better than this past one....And may the Sea of Sadness give its turn to the Waves of Peace.....

A week filled with shocking disasterous news. I turned 30 a few days ago, cant say I feel old, on the contrary on that day I felt so rejuvenated. The only thing I kinda find weird is when it comes to ticking age boxes. Im now in the category of 30-34, hmmm.

HUBBY left and is in the war zone yet again. My bestfriends father was kidnapped in Iraq,and someone I knew from the past discovered that her husband of 2 years is bisexual. So all in all, a disasterous week. Hence I aint in the mood for blogging just yet.

Sorry for everyone out there, but right now life seems to me as a Big Fucking Sherade........(please do excuse my language, Im just too shocked to find freaking nice words about Mr/Mrs life at the moment)

We are back from the most amazing trip ever. I had such a great time in Thailand. Bangkok was great so busy, something both HUBBY and I needed. Though HUBBY definitely needed it more than me. He couldnt believe that he is able to walk about freely, sleep in a bed that has space for you to roll in. Compared to the trailer he stays in, umm everything else is heaven. Actually to rephrase, compared to Iraq, everywhere else is a sure HEAVEN. Although at first he wasnt able to sleep so easily, and I swear to you this is exactly what he said" I cant sleep until I hear a few mortar rounds, then Im able to close my eyes". What kind of a life is this????I have no clue...

I noticed many changes in HUBBY. When we were courting, I remember how he used to hate to walk, and would always lag behind me, since Im a brisk walker, and I have always preferred walking in London. HUBBY would just complain, and say lets use transport, but in Bangkok, man oh man did we walk or what....I ended up stopping at every mall or shop to buy shoes since the ones I would be wearing would become so uncomfortable, but heyyyyy I AINT COMPLAINING,hehe...

We did all sorts of crazy things, went and watched lady boys,lol... Are these men gorgeous or what???I have never seen such beauty before, their bodies are just figures to die for, with their firm breasts, and toned legs, even I couldnt keep my eyes off them. You can imagine how happy HUBBY was feasting his eyes on such beauty. Though, at one point I did a trick I always do, to check if HUBBY was "excited" about the scenes afore of him, umm, needless to say, didnt stimulate him enough. He actually said to me that he found it disgusting for men to become women, hmmm....no comment...

After Bangkok, we headed to Phuket, remember the bungalow that I made such a big deal on?????Well we reached to the hotel, as the woman led us in to the garden where all the bungalows were, she kept walking and walking, and walking, until we reached a corner, that smelt like a factory for rubbish disposal, she took out the key and opened the supposedly "honeymoon" bungalow. As the door opened, I stood there in disbelief saying to myself this must be a mistake, there's no way, this is the bungalow I saw in the brochure. When I told the lady that this isnt what I asked for, she said that these are how bungalows are. And me being me, I started crying, I couldnt believe how horrible and claustrophobic that place was. Low ceiling, twin beds, and mind you we are suposedly a honeymoon couple. Even the brightest of the sun rays wouldnt enter the place. I was gonna have my panic attacks cuz I suffer from claustrophobia. I was barely breathing, I thought I was gonna faint, and the scorching heat was playing a big role too.

HUBBY just sat down on the chair, lit his cigarette, and puffed away. There I was crying my eyes out, and there he was relaxing. GRRRRRRRRR. We ended up staying in the hotel room, and good riddance bungalow, I will never ever think of staying in one, before I check it out before hand. Then the adventure began. I didnt really enjoy phuket as much, cuz it was even more busy than Bangkok, although had it been more of a beach holiday I think I would have loved it. But HUBBY hates beaches and doesnt realy like the sun, the complete opposite of me. HUBBY just wanted to walk and walk and do more walking. But one thing we did apart from that was SCUBA DIVING. Yaaaaaaaaay. That for me was one hell of an experience, HUBBY holds a license but I have never done it before nor did I ever imagine myself doing it since I have a fear of not being able to breathe. But after alot of coaxing, I did it, and OMG, a different world, a different feeling, just out of this world.

I think the confinement in the Green Zone, just makes you appreciate many things that we take for granted. Apart from the walking, HUBBY would me wake me up 6 in the morning everyday, so we wont miss out on anythiing. BLOODY HELL, this is a vacation not a soldier's camp. lol. I never knew HUBBY was so energetic, I guess I never knew many things about HUBBY since we never really spent enough time with each other. There are many stories to be told but I will keep it for the next posts.

As for now, HUBBY is napping, he was supposed to leave tomorrow, but we managed to convince him to stay atleast a couple of more days so he can see his wife enter into her dreaded umm big 3 0, oh GOD....Although I did get disappointed cuz it should come from him really to stay with me, and not from me or my family, but then again, HUBBY aint sentimental like me, and so he doesnt really think about these things, which is a shame really. But hey, I get to spend more time with him which again is something I aint complaining about, just yet.

The day after we arrived from Thailand, HUBBY started complaining from his ears, and apparantely the ENT doctor said that its a pretty bad infection, gave him some antibiotics, and HUBBY is still in pain.He also had to go to the dentist and do a couple of things, so basically I think he needs a total refurbishment cuz everything is aching him and I mean EVERYTHING, with no exceptions (sigh)....

Well have to go for now, will try and post the photos we took sometime soon, and I actually do need to vent out some anger later on. HUBBY still wants to go back to "rebuild" Iraq, although he keeps complaining that some people aint letting them do their jobs. When he was asked the other day about how he feels about whats going on, he had to think real hard, cuz he tells me, that its both American's and Iraqis faults. He still has hope, or so he says, that things will get better, but I still am as cynical as ever.

As for now, Im still on vacation, and so is my mind. An amazing feeling of not being stressed out all the time, cuz my HUBBY is right here safe and sound in my arms......