neurotic Iraqi wife
November 10, 2004
A Misty Mirage......
HUBBY called me to tell me about the abduction of 3 members of PM Allawi's family. I cant believe it. I think the situation is gonna get worse than it is already. Im sorry, but I have lost all hope, yes I have. Even HUBBY who always had a chirpy tone in his voice, for the last couple of days that tone has lost its lustre.
I had asked him whats wrong, he just said Im depressed. He wouldnt add anything to that, and I know exactly why. HUBBY has lost the hope he had, HUBBY's light beyond the tunnel has dimmed and now it appears to be barely there. The green fields, with rays of sunshine, has turned into a field full of weeds and thorns, dark thundery clouds hovering in the blackest of black skies. He doesnt wanna admit it to me cuz he fears the words "I TOLD YOU SO". But I aint that mean, I wont add to his misery, infact I wish of all days he was here with me today, so I can tap on his shoulder and tell him dont worry, all will be ok. But I cant, for physically he aint here, and mentally these words are difficult to utter, for I myself dont believe in them.
Im sorry Im feeling down, I just cant help it. I try to cheer myself up and say that in 8 days I will be in HUBBY's arms but I cant hear HUBBY's somber voice and feel good, it aint in me. Im sorry HUBBY, I really am, I wish I can do something just anything to make you smile, but I sit here helpless, hands cuffed behind my back. I cant lie and I cant pretend that all is ok. Even the vacation that Im so looking forward to looks kinda lame now.
Shit I hate to be in this mood, I hope, and thats what I have been doing ever since God knows when that things will get better. But these hopes are turning into a misty mirage flying over the desert dunes. I find myself swaying from side to side, just like someone who has lost their balance becuz of excess alcohol, and my throat is croaking from thirst. My feet keep getting engrazed in the deep dunes, and sand is blowing unto my face into my eyes, until everything infront of me is blurry. My mouth is dry, and my hazy sight is looking for an oasis to quench this thirst. Im squinting "hoping" to find my oasis, and then all of a sudden, I see it. I run as fast as I can, not caring for all the sand, I run and run, and as I kneel down, to touch the clear shiny waters, I discover that its only that dreaded mirage dug deep in the sand dunes....
For this is how Im seeing the future now, A Misty Mirage Dug Deep in The Sand Dunes.....
PS:I want to also draw your attention to a new interesting blog. I have received this email regarding the blog:
As you may know, the media can be very biased in the US. Because of this, I've created a website called Words From Iraq. It's a website that features web logs from Iraq so that Americans and other people from around the world can hear what the people of Iraq
have to say directly, without interference from the news media. It's available at:
Silence is defeat but soon it will be available at: Words from Iraq
I think its a brilliant idea so please do visit the site.
I had asked him whats wrong, he just said Im depressed. He wouldnt add anything to that, and I know exactly why. HUBBY has lost the hope he had, HUBBY's light beyond the tunnel has dimmed and now it appears to be barely there. The green fields, with rays of sunshine, has turned into a field full of weeds and thorns, dark thundery clouds hovering in the blackest of black skies. He doesnt wanna admit it to me cuz he fears the words "I TOLD YOU SO". But I aint that mean, I wont add to his misery, infact I wish of all days he was here with me today, so I can tap on his shoulder and tell him dont worry, all will be ok. But I cant, for physically he aint here, and mentally these words are difficult to utter, for I myself dont believe in them.
Im sorry Im feeling down, I just cant help it. I try to cheer myself up and say that in 8 days I will be in HUBBY's arms but I cant hear HUBBY's somber voice and feel good, it aint in me. Im sorry HUBBY, I really am, I wish I can do something just anything to make you smile, but I sit here helpless, hands cuffed behind my back. I cant lie and I cant pretend that all is ok. Even the vacation that Im so looking forward to looks kinda lame now.
Shit I hate to be in this mood, I hope, and thats what I have been doing ever since God knows when that things will get better. But these hopes are turning into a misty mirage flying over the desert dunes. I find myself swaying from side to side, just like someone who has lost their balance becuz of excess alcohol, and my throat is croaking from thirst. My feet keep getting engrazed in the deep dunes, and sand is blowing unto my face into my eyes, until everything infront of me is blurry. My mouth is dry, and my hazy sight is looking for an oasis to quench this thirst. Im squinting "hoping" to find my oasis, and then all of a sudden, I see it. I run as fast as I can, not caring for all the sand, I run and run, and as I kneel down, to touch the clear shiny waters, I discover that its only that dreaded mirage dug deep in the sand dunes....
For this is how Im seeing the future now, A Misty Mirage Dug Deep in The Sand Dunes.....
PS:I want to also draw your attention to a new interesting blog. I have received this email regarding the blog:
As you may know, the media can be very biased in the US. Because of this, I've created a website called Words From Iraq. It's a website that features web logs from Iraq so that Americans and other people from around the world can hear what the people of Iraq
have to say directly, without interference from the news media. It's available at:
Silence is defeat but soon it will be available at: Words from Iraq
I think its a brilliant idea so please do visit the site.
6 Comments:
Hi NW,
First of all, Thank you for your help last weekend with my pic in my blog. I was finally able to get it right.
As far as you and hubby are concerned, things will be great when you are together and for the time in between just keep giving him your emotional shoulder to lean on. I know from experience how difficult it is to convey an emotion and the amount of support and love you feel in just words, but right now that's all you have. Just be there for him to talk to and don't be afraid to confide your fears and emotions in him as well.
Remember like everything else, this too shall pass.
Love to you and hubby,
Tammy
You're right..things are going to get worse before they get better, but we have to hope and pray the time will be short for the worse time. God has his hand in this, and if we trust in him, things will get better. He does love us and cares..sis from the usa
It is a bad day. All we can do is keep at it as best we can. Hang in there. Sorry things are so crappy right now.
Cheer up Neurotic Wife. I had realized myself that the only thing we can do right now is pray for the best and hope for those buggers to just simply vanish from this world..
Inshallah things will get better but I'm much like you; I'm losing hope but I try my best to look on the bright side...
Kheir inshallah. I hope your husband will come back safely.
Sara.
Hey Tammy, no problem, I aint a wiz in blogging, but I will try to help in any way I can...
Stephie, they are animals, I wander how Allawi is gonna react and what if anything is he able to do.
Sis from US, how much worse can it get???God, actually I dont even wanna know, just the notion of it scares me.
Jeneva, I have great faith in God, but I keep questioning,why why why...I know there's a good reason for everything but there are many unanswered questions.
Monicar, yeah crappy as hell, but I found a cure to lift my mood up, am goin shoe shoppin,lol...
Sara, hope???makoo hope, finito. gone, disappeared in thin air...The only bright thing Im looking forward to is seeing HUBBY in a week's time and prance in my new shoes,lol. And will not waste a moment without him, I think Im gonna end up suffocating the poor guy,hehe..
Melly, I too have been reading your blog, everyday infact. I hope things work out for you and that at the end of the day you will get exactly what you hoped for. BTW,Hawaii is on my list of must sees, maybe once HUBBY and I settle down properly, we will pay this beautiful island a visit...
allah eeesa3idna and im not listed on that site . :(
guess may reeedon iraqi looney bloggers sa7 lo la2?
catching up with ur old posts :)
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