neurotic Iraqi wife
July 04, 2007
Dead Emerald City...
"Bombs, Iraqi doctor held" Thats what I keep reading in every street I walk in, at every newsagent I pass. Yup Im in London. Its pretty upsetting to find out that an Iraqi would get involved in such horrid events. That just invigorated me more, because it means that the countries that were willing to take on the Iraqis who really are innocent and who really are suffering in Iraq, will back out. Thats it, all those coworkers of mine who are dreaming of a better live, of a second chance will no longer get their dream. Its gone, gone forever because of a stupid, selfish man.
As an Iraqi, Im appalled. Appalled at what these doctors were thinking. Why??? Why do this to the country that gave you a chance? Why do this to the people that extended their hands out to you and opened their arms and took you in??? WHY? What for???To hurt the government? Or to make a change in foreign policy??? I dont get it, I really dont. You cant achieve a thing by violence. Instead you are creating more havoc, more havoc and more hatred. And hatred, thats the last thing we need at the moment. The Middle east's image and the muslim image has already been tarnished especially after 911, we really didnt need anymore of that. We are regarded as terrorists no matter what our ideas and thoughts are as long as we are Arabs and/or Muslims. A misconception that was created by ignorance.
I really dunno how this is gonna effect the plight of all those Iraqis who really are innocent and who really need to get out of what has become the nasty Iraq, the hellish Iraq. A few days before I come here, a coworker of mine, B, a 50 something yr old woman came by giving out chocolate. Quality street chocolate. Usually, people give out chocolates if theres a celebration, either a birth of a baby, a wedding, or even a graduation. I knew that none of those applied to B, so as I took my favourate purple quality street chocolate, I asked what the occassion was. She said my Xrays showed no head injuries. I said what? What head injuries??? And as I looked at her face, I noticed bruises below her eyes. I freaked out. I asked her what had happened and this is what she told me.
B was queueing for fuel. After a few hours of waiting, her turn came up, and she started to fill her car up, a man, a man from the Iraqi police, asked her not to fill her car and to leave. She refused and being an Iraqi woman, she said to him in a sarcastic manner "what are you gonna do?Are you gonna hit me?Are you gonna hit an old lady???" The man, the so called Police man who is supposed to be there serving the people, took out a stick and struck B on the head. YES, he slammed the poor woman!!! The minute she told me this, my eyes welled up. I immeditaley imagined my mom being subjected to such behaviour and it angered the hell out of me. Can you imagine? Can you imagine a 50 yr old woman being hit by a stick???So tell me, tell me, who the hell is gonna protect B and the hundreds of thousands of Bs??? And with the recent events here in England, B and others like her are now stuck, stuck in no man's land.
My trip so far has been uneventful except maybe for discovering that my mobile phone has been stolen from my suitcase in Baghdad, bumping my head into a glass door in a restaurant thinking it was the exit, tripping over the steps from the double decker No 10 bus, and getting drenched in the rain because my made in china umbrella decided to fall apart at that specific moment. But no I aint complaining, had all this happend to me a year ago or even a few months back, you probably wouldnt hear the end of it, but right now, Im content, Im content that Im out of that prison. That same prison that Rajiv Chandrasekaran called the Emerald City in his book. I havent read the book yet but Im planning to. It will be my reading material on my way to the States. Yup Im gonna be in the States for a few days, not sure if thats good or bad. Anyhow, Emerald City or not, Im glad Im outta there for now...Out of that City, the Dead Emerald City...
As an Iraqi, Im appalled. Appalled at what these doctors were thinking. Why??? Why do this to the country that gave you a chance? Why do this to the people that extended their hands out to you and opened their arms and took you in??? WHY? What for???To hurt the government? Or to make a change in foreign policy??? I dont get it, I really dont. You cant achieve a thing by violence. Instead you are creating more havoc, more havoc and more hatred. And hatred, thats the last thing we need at the moment. The Middle east's image and the muslim image has already been tarnished especially after 911, we really didnt need anymore of that. We are regarded as terrorists no matter what our ideas and thoughts are as long as we are Arabs and/or Muslims. A misconception that was created by ignorance.
I really dunno how this is gonna effect the plight of all those Iraqis who really are innocent and who really need to get out of what has become the nasty Iraq, the hellish Iraq. A few days before I come here, a coworker of mine, B, a 50 something yr old woman came by giving out chocolate. Quality street chocolate. Usually, people give out chocolates if theres a celebration, either a birth of a baby, a wedding, or even a graduation. I knew that none of those applied to B, so as I took my favourate purple quality street chocolate, I asked what the occassion was. She said my Xrays showed no head injuries. I said what? What head injuries??? And as I looked at her face, I noticed bruises below her eyes. I freaked out. I asked her what had happened and this is what she told me.
B was queueing for fuel. After a few hours of waiting, her turn came up, and she started to fill her car up, a man, a man from the Iraqi police, asked her not to fill her car and to leave. She refused and being an Iraqi woman, she said to him in a sarcastic manner "what are you gonna do?Are you gonna hit me?Are you gonna hit an old lady???" The man, the so called Police man who is supposed to be there serving the people, took out a stick and struck B on the head. YES, he slammed the poor woman!!! The minute she told me this, my eyes welled up. I immeditaley imagined my mom being subjected to such behaviour and it angered the hell out of me. Can you imagine? Can you imagine a 50 yr old woman being hit by a stick???So tell me, tell me, who the hell is gonna protect B and the hundreds of thousands of Bs??? And with the recent events here in England, B and others like her are now stuck, stuck in no man's land.
My trip so far has been uneventful except maybe for discovering that my mobile phone has been stolen from my suitcase in Baghdad, bumping my head into a glass door in a restaurant thinking it was the exit, tripping over the steps from the double decker No 10 bus, and getting drenched in the rain because my made in china umbrella decided to fall apart at that specific moment. But no I aint complaining, had all this happend to me a year ago or even a few months back, you probably wouldnt hear the end of it, but right now, Im content, Im content that Im out of that prison. That same prison that Rajiv Chandrasekaran called the Emerald City in his book. I havent read the book yet but Im planning to. It will be my reading material on my way to the States. Yup Im gonna be in the States for a few days, not sure if thats good or bad. Anyhow, Emerald City or not, Im glad Im outta there for now...Out of that City, the Dead Emerald City...
25 Comments:
I agree with your thinking. The Iraqi Doctor implicated in the bombing plot has now made it so much harder for other Iraqis to come to the West.
I am particularly angered because I have Iraqi friends in Syria right now. They are good people and would dearly love to come to Australia where I am.
But this awful incident has now made it an impossibility, I fear.
What on earth possessed them to attack the Brits? The British people as a whole were opposed to the war in Iraq.
Like yourself, I am extremely distressed over this.
Hey Neurotica,
Where in the States?
NIW, take a break from Iraq. There is not much that you can do, face it. Sad but true. A break would re-energize you as you know so use some. Go for some fish and chips or a shepherd's pie and enjoy bombless nights even if it's temporary. You deserve a break. Iraq that I knew has gone, changed beyond recognition and the future is not going to be better at all. I'm not usually pessimistic but there isn't a tiny bit to cling to here. Cheers,
Usama, a fellow Iraqi in Vancouver.
Neurotic asks:
"Why??? Why do this to the country that gave you a chance? Why do this to the people that extended their hands out to you and opened their arms and took you in??? WHY? What for???To hurt the government? Or to make a change in foreign policy??? I dont get it, I really dont."
The answer is simple: Because of child abuse and neglect.
The people who carried out these attacks ALL suffered from a severe lack of love in their childhoods, creating a ticking time bomb of rage and violence which needed to be inflicted on others.
Virtually everyone at some point has entertained violent fantasies of hurting and killing others, especially those closest to them, like a lover or a spouse who has rejected them in some way. The origins of this present day rage can be traced all the way back to one's earliest beginnings. That's why people commit violence.
What is needed is LOVE and EMPATHY. That's the answer to stopping War and Terrorism.
Read below:
THE FORMATION OF THE MIND AND BRAIN THROUGH ATTACHMENTS
The mind and therefore the emotional content of the brain are created in the first few years of life through the attachment bond between the infant and the primary caretaker. (Fathers can be perfectly effective primary caretakers too, of course, although few historically have chosen to do so.) From the very beginning, the mother's emotionally expressive face and eyes are the most important objects in the infant's world, and the infant's wide pupils evoke the mother's gaze and increase her oxytocin, stimulating her attachment and especially her empathy, as registered in her mirror neurons. (As we will soon see, loss of the ability of mirror neurons to feel empathy is crucial in the formation of violence in the brain.) A mother who is too depressed or too busy or too angry to respond to her child's emotionally expressive face is laying down the foundation of all later violence. "The baby sees his own self when he looks at the mother's face and what he sees there is vital for the feeling of 'I am seen, so I exist, feel real, and my existence has been proved.'" It is mainly the right hemisphere of both mother and infant that regulates early emotional states and copes with stress. Romanian orphans put in cribs at birth and fed regularly but not smiled at or "sung to" usually die, since they have "black holes" in their brain scans rather than healthy, functioning right hemispheres. Even rhesus monkeys who are separated at birth from their mothers' gaze grow up fearful and violently attack other monkeys. Insecurely attached children actually display nine times as much aggression as their securely attached peers. Obviously the degree of infant-maternal attachment crucially affects the amount of violence later acted out in adults.
In the first two months, the infant who is properly cared for experiences what Stern calls an "emergent sense of self," during which the "looking into the eyes that are looking back into his is a central event around which everything turns…The baby's brain is literally tuned by the caregiver's brain to produce the correct neurotransmitters and hormones…The infant discovers that he or she has a mind and that other people have minds as well." Experiments showing how depressed or angry mothers regularly produce insecurely attached infants who grow up to be violent adults — the so-called "Ainsworth studies" of emotional neglect in childhood — now run into the hundreds worldwide. Severe maternal neglect can be seen in most mothers who are post-partum depressed or who drink alcohol daily or smoke a lot or are maritally dissatisfied or who are lone caretakers (only one in six children see their father once or more a week in America, and the majority of American children today live their lives in homes without fathers). Insecure/disorganized attachments are "attempts by the child to resolve the paradox presented by a frightened/frightening attachment figure by assuming the role of the caregiver…[When the caregiver's actions are designed] to humiliate him or her into submission…the child seems motivated to protect the parent by being excessively cheery, polite, or helpful." It is this reaction to authoritarian/abandoning parenting which has been the rule during most of history that gets repeated so often in political behavior, where insecurely-parented nations cling to Punitive Parent Leaders in response to their demands for submission.
The infanticide, tying up, starving, battering, torture and rape of children that has been routine in history will be examined in more detail in later chapters of this book. Even today, however, most children in most nations are badly abused and neglected in their early years. This is denied by most people. A recent survey of British doctors, for instance, said they believed the child sexual abuse rate was "probably less than one percent," while careful studies of U.K. childhood sexual assault showed two-thirds of girls and one-third of boys had been used sexually. The figures for the U.S. are about the same. Physical abuse is even more prevalent; two-thirds of British mothers said they routinely hit their infants in their first year of life, and in the next two years 97% said they hit their children "at least once a week…most a good deal more often," using straps, belts, canes and sticks on the boys. Figures for less advanced societies are even higher, where, for instance, many Islamic societies still raping the majority of both girls and boys, and "infanticide, abandonment of babies, to beating, shaking, burning, cutting, poisoning" are found to be common. Since Islamic females traditionally have had their genitals painfully cut off as young girls (in Egypt today, for instance, 97 percent of uneducated families and 66 percent of educated families still practice female genital mutilation), it is hard to be surprised that they grow up to be less than effective mothers.
So, does that state that you left Iraq forever?
Have a wonderfull day!
Jason,
The answer is simple: Because of child abuse and neglect.
Child abuse? :O
That's a stretch, man. I don't think Arab and/or Muslim children have it any worse with their family situations than anyone else in the world. Nor do I think they suffer any particular financial hardships. Arabs in general have a pretty good standard of living compared to the global average.
Nice try, though :)
I do think you are on to something with the empathy and love being the solution. I just think you've mis-identified the cause.
Neurotica, I'll be surprised if this changes the British much.
NIW,
Its good for you to get some rest
يوم الـ ألي خخخخخخ
I hope your trip is a good one NIW. Try to stay away from the news as much as possible(advice I should follow myself, but don't/can't/won't) I'm glad B's not injured too badly. I could say plenty about the gutless s.o.b. who did that. As for the doctors, it's hard to believe that people who's lives would be so poor under al Qaedas rule, could fall so easily under their spell. Good journey to you.
I'm British and believe me it will change us. It changes a lot more than you think. Its sad to say but such is life. No disrespect I for one dont want any iraqi taken in. We have enough to deal with the homegrown arseholes neverless imported one. I'd rather them bomb and kill their own than kill me and mine in my country. Sod tht for a laugh.
Good to hear from you. The story of B is a sad one but with a happy ending in that she was not seriously injured.
I hope you have a pleasant trip to the USA.
I believe there will be some kind of change in U.S. military posture in Iraq some time this fall. Today, another Republican senator called for change in policy. Senator Domenici emphasized the lack of progress by the Iraqi government as one of the main reasons why he is calling for change. He endorses a major draw down of U.S. forces.
NIW,
Does it become harder to return each time from relative peace and quiet, being able to enjoy a coffee at a sidewalk cafe, to be able to sleep soundly at night?
You are 100 times a stronger woman than I. I have to admit, if I kept taking samples here and there of other countries where I didn't have to watch my back, I don't think I would ever go back to Iraq.
Through reading your posts, I have become more thankful for the simple, day-to-day things I used to take for granted. Now I have to add fueling my car to the long list. I am glad B is ok.
If you ever decide to venture out towards New Mexico, you are always welcome!
Always,
Melanie
Give us a break, lady. Clearly you have still not learned the difference between actualy real-life events and made up propaganda. That whole pathetic FAKE event to incite fear by staging some FAKE bombs (thanx MI5!) is so absurd, even the American propaganda machine avoided it like the plague. I can't believe you actually fell for it! LOL (*while shaking head pathetically your way*).
Melanie, I know your evil plan. You want to get her out here and turn her into a chile addict :)(red or green?) She'd have a great time here.
OK Solo, you got me :) I prefer the green type...not quite as spicy as the red, but sweeter and more tangy.
Yes, I agree she would enjoy it here. We could all do lunch ;)
Melanie
Any man that hits a woman deserves a severe beatdown, I don't care what the reason. There's no excuse, ever. Glad to see your trip in London was fun. Enjoy the US, maybe I'll see you Stateside!
to the anonymous ass that said:
'No disrespect I for one dont want any iraqi taken in. We have enough to deal with the homegrown arseholes neverless imported one. I'd rather them bomb and kill their own than kill me and mine in my country. Sod tht for a laugh.'
Because of one Iraqi maniac, you're going to deny thousands of fleeing men, women and children their right to refuge from war?? A war that you started??? The UK, takes in too few refugees as it is for a country that is causing alot of those refugees. As a chief presence in Iraq, Britain is responsible for at least a fifth of Iraq's refugees. (I chose a fifth, relative to its size, America has to take care of the rest). So Iraqis, welcome, welcome! the UK opens its arms for you.
Furthermore, the fact that those doctors got into the UK so easily is indicative of the skills deficit in the UK. The UK needs more doctors, and MUST import them as it is unable to supply this need solely from its indigenous population. So Mr. British Ass, if you want fewer immigrants- go back to elementary school and work your way up to medical school.
Australia at the moment has an Indian Muslim Doctor imprisoned pending further investigations on suspicion of being linked to the UK bombing.
Australia, too, has a chronic shortage of Doctors, caused by John Howard's policy of privatising Australian universities. A medical degree in Australia today costs $237,000 (University of NSW, $219,000 University OF Melbourne, $214,600
Monash University. Howard also slashed student allowances which means few people qualify for any Government assistance while they study. Today, as a result of these policies, one third of all Australian university students are from overseas.
Overseas Doctors make up approximately 20% of our current clinician population. Australia also has an ageing clinician population. 68% are baby boomers.
Thus....we have a rapidly ageing baby boomer general population, a rapidly ageing clinician population, and more and more reliance on overseas students and doctors.
anonymous, I personally know 3 people here in the US who graduated near the top of their class with pre-med degree who weren't able to get into medical school. And they weer willing and able to pay the tuition.
Whatever the problem is, it's not lack of interest, lack of qualified applicants, or lack of money amongst the native-born population. At least, here in the US.
If it truly is a problem, I hope somebody gets to the bottom of it. This isn't even a brain-drain we are talking about, with medical personnel and business professionals. People in those professions produce nothing. Doctors provide a service, and business professionals waste oxygen. I can throw a brick into a crowd and more than likely I hit at least one unemployed MBA.
Of all possible professions, I can't think of any less suited to imported workers.
Perhaps they just expect much less in terms of salary. Which makes the problem corporate greed, not lack of qualified people at home able to do the job.
"One Iraqi maniac" Give me a break. The British government should decline access to all iraqis. It allows them in and they plot to kill us. Where's the motive in that.I say again "let them kill themsleves in their own country and stay out of the UK. Doctors who have taken an oath to save lives are plotting and planning to kill. Sod you postmordern Iraq. The only people who want Iraqis here are the bloody Iraqis. The British dont want them and neither does the US. In fact who does? I want to be able to ride London transport and feel safe. I want to be able to attend a hospital appt for whtever reason and know the doctor is genuinely interested in my well being. Why should the UK take more in if all they want to do is kill us. I know you cant tar everyone with the same brush but you cant blame anyone for doing so.
From a white, english bloke who reads your blogs regularly & is amazed at your fortitude. Keep it up, gal! Sting sang "The Russians love their Children, too".. me & my mates certainly don't understand half of what's gone down in Iraq, and I certainly don't understand how people think they can gain from recent events, but we know that they aren't typical of the typical Iraqi. Enjoy America...
best of luck. I actually believe the attacks were engineered too.
Breifly The image on your site is stunningly beautiful but you need to change to colour of your text if you want people to read it.
regards
are you not the neurotic wife that applauded when there was regime change and you spent your days in the green zone kissing american ass? I guess you are.
"are you not the neurotic wife that applauded when there was regime change and you spent your days in the green zone kissing american ass? I guess you are."
Some people can be so hateful towards Neurotica. Why? You don't even know her.
I hope that you have been able to find what you were seeking during your time to yourself little one.
And I hope that reading the comments here doesn't tear down any progress you've made. I have to admit they've made me sad. I always have a tough time when I realize how many people there are out there that think like that. Makes progress seem overwhelming.
So I did something I hadn't done in years. I tracked down a little black notebook I used to write in while I was in high school and during my first year of college.
I suppose you could say it's a diary of sorts, but it consists of dates and entries of things that inspired me and gave me hope. Quotes, poems, songs and entries written to myself in the future.
It did its job. I cried while reading some parts and then felt a peace settle within myself. I hope that you already have or been able to find something that helps you find that peace even if only for a little while.
Much love.
Kim
Hey Kim, after my trip I thought I did find some peace, but umm after watching that You tube clip, I got aggravated again. I had a very good time, infact I fell in love. Yes I fell in love with NYC. Will write abt it soon. But thanks for your encouragement.
Zappy, yarait I wont go back, but no, I will be back there soon. There is a mission unaccomplished there, and I gotta do it.
Jason, dont worry about that anon, there are loads of cockroaches around, I cant be bothered to pifpaf them all...Infact I enjoy their comments.
Fatima, I was in the big apple. And it was utterly amazing.
Hey Usama, I agree totally. There is nothing we can do except maybe tell the truth??? Thats why Im going back. I have to continue this blog from inside. I dont have more time left, and I think once I go back, I will try to write every other day. Its the only thing I can do at the moment. What do u think???
Lol Melanie, yes, it becomes harder everytime. Not only harder but I kinda feel depressed a few days before I travel back there. But I need to do it. HUBBY asked me to leave. He finally, afetr 3 years of me begging him, asked me to leave and begin afresh, guess what I said??? I said no. Yup. There are 2 things I have in my mind that I need to achieve, one is for the blog and a second, is a personal reason. Even if it means for a few more months, I wanna stay and see what I can do.
MM habeebti inshallah youm il ilich, where u can go, travel and live the life that all Iraqis deserve.
Postmoderniraqi, ee bes moo 7a88a??? Altho I dont agree with the british guy who doesnt want Iraqis in, but do I blame him???I mean I dont want al qaeda, or non iraqi arabs in Iraq. Do u blame me???
Thanks Warrior, what colour do u suggest???
Matt, You should have seen B's face. My God. It was awful.
Solo, I like all types of chillies ;-)
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