neurotic Iraqi wife
December 15, 2006
The Green Zone Wife Revenge...
Well getting silver isnt bad. We managed to watch the remainder of the game at the BS. The Iraqi team didnt play as well as I hoped. But hey, with all the suffering and the death that has plagued the country, second place isnt bad at all. So Congratulations to the Iraqi team for reaching the finals and well done, you make us proud....
And by the way, just to let you know, Im blocking all the bad news for now. I dont have the energy to write about it. Im gonna divulge into some personal stuff, so if you aint interested then stop right here...
Yesterday was Thursday. Thursday means HUBBY time. Thursday usually means umm a good time to put it bluntly. It also means colleagues teasing me. For the past couple of Thursdays, exhaustion and hard work just meant those nights were spent looking forward to sleep, and sleep only. This Thursday I was kinda hoping to have well you know...Some affection. On our way to dinner, I tried to throw a few hints, so HUBBY can prepare and expect the unexpected. I think he got the hint pretty well.
We go to room and as usual I take my nightly shower. Ofcourse this time I took extra care, like lavishing myself with perfume and body lotion (things I dont usually do when Im alone). I get out of the bathroom all smiles and smelling like "beautiful" (HUBBY's favourate perfume). I look at the chair and its empty, hmm. I took one look at the bed, and sure enough HUBBY is there tucked in, SLEEPING!!! HUBBY I shake him. HUBBY wake up, Im done. He opens one eye, tells me na3eeman (something we say when we come out of the shower) and smiles. Then he pulls me next to him, hugs me and goes to SLEEP!!! OMG...
I shake him again and do all kinda things. He murmurs something like "please sweetie can we do this in the morning". NOOOOOOOOOOO HUBBY we cant do this in the morning!!! I gotta go to work, I have a deadline. Wake up HUBBY, its THURSDAY NIGHT, you aint getting away with this. Needless to say, Thursday night wasnt bad. A few hours later, and as I was in my rare deep sleep, Mr HUBBY decides to wake up.
First he goes to the bathroom, opens the creaky door, switches the light on which by the way lit the whole room up. HUBBY I said, please, can you please switch the light off, its getting in my eyes. I wanna SLEEEEEEEEEP. He does just that, then goes to the fridge, opens it, gets a can of pepsi, then SLAMS the door. All the while Im just whining, please HUBBY, Pllllleeeeeeaaaasseeee, I WANT TO SLEEP. You think he might get the hint. He then switches the TV on discovery science and the noise just bugged the hell outta me. HUBBBBBBBBBBY I screamed, I beg you. He says, Oh sorry, did I wake you up? Umm No HUBBY, you just made my sleep go out the door. Oh sorry sweetie he says. I cant sleep.
He switches TV off, then starts the internet!!! I literally got the other pillow and stuck it on my face didnt care if I was suffocating. But, unfortunately once I wake up, I can never go back to sleep. So there I was, in bed, in the early hours of Friday, watching HUBBY reading his emails!!! I flipped, I did. And Ms Nag rose back to life.
ME (Seething): You know, the fact that you live alone is NOT helping OUR situation.
HUBBY (still reading his emails): Aha, its ok sweetie
ME: Whats OK??? Are you even listening to what Im saying???
HUBBY (moves to read news): Oh look, the kidnap in al sinak was targetting sunnis
ME: Oh My DEAR GOD. HUBBY, helllooooo, Im talking to you.
HUBBY: Listen to this, they let go of the Shia's and the...
ME (Almost shouting): WELL GOOD. Shias are the best!!!
HUBBY (staring at me, atleast I got his attention finally): Oh dont say that, we are equal. You should never say that. We are all Iraqis.
ME: Ok fine, so as I was saying, our living arrangements arent working out. You have gone back to living a bachelor's life, its as if I dont exist anymore. You slam the door, you switch the light on, you have the TV on, hellloooooooo, all the while, Im trying to get some sleep. It annoys the hell outta me!!!
HUBBY: I couldnt sleep from the helicopters' noise. What did you want me to do? Stay in bed???
ME: YESSSSSSSSSSS. Stay in the darn bed. Or maybe I should get you a headset long enough so you can plug it in the TV. And maybe you should have gone to the bathroom without switching the lights on!!!
HUBBY: You wanted me to fall??? I could barely see my way.
ME: Umm HUBBY, you talk as if we are in a mansion, its a bloody 6 meters by 4 room. The bathroom is right next to the bed!!!
HUBBY: So what are you saying??? You want me out???
ME: NOOOO, I want you to atleast acknowledge my presence
HUBBY: Oh sweetie, Im so sorry, I do, ofcourse I do.
He walks to bed, slips in right next to me, switches the TV on AGAIN, snuggles close and shuts his eyes. A few minutes later HUBBY is in deep sleep while Mrs here, is wide awake, seething with anger, staring at him with blood shot eyes!!!
You would think men learn with time. Aha, sure. Yes granted he got me a present and surprised me, so all isnt lost (I hope). Marriage in the Green Zone is difficult as it is. The one hour we have daily is spent eating and gossiping about the office. Thursday night is spent mostly watching science channel and sleeping. I guess many consider him lucky not to have his wife nagging him 24 hrs, yup I dont disagree...I dont disagree at all...
Oh well, I guess maybe next Thursday, I will make sure power is disconnected from the TV, and I might as well disconnect the internet while Im at it. Break the bathroom lightbulb, I can do without it. And probably empty the fridge from the Pepsis I have. hehe....They say revenge is sweet. Can it be sweeter than this. Aaaaah Revenge...The Green Zone Wife Revenge...
And by the way, just to let you know, Im blocking all the bad news for now. I dont have the energy to write about it. Im gonna divulge into some personal stuff, so if you aint interested then stop right here...
Yesterday was Thursday. Thursday means HUBBY time. Thursday usually means umm a good time to put it bluntly. It also means colleagues teasing me. For the past couple of Thursdays, exhaustion and hard work just meant those nights were spent looking forward to sleep, and sleep only. This Thursday I was kinda hoping to have well you know...Some affection. On our way to dinner, I tried to throw a few hints, so HUBBY can prepare and expect the unexpected. I think he got the hint pretty well.
We go to room and as usual I take my nightly shower. Ofcourse this time I took extra care, like lavishing myself with perfume and body lotion (things I dont usually do when Im alone). I get out of the bathroom all smiles and smelling like "beautiful" (HUBBY's favourate perfume). I look at the chair and its empty, hmm. I took one look at the bed, and sure enough HUBBY is there tucked in, SLEEPING!!! HUBBY I shake him. HUBBY wake up, Im done. He opens one eye, tells me na3eeman (something we say when we come out of the shower) and smiles. Then he pulls me next to him, hugs me and goes to SLEEP!!! OMG...
I shake him again and do all kinda things. He murmurs something like "please sweetie can we do this in the morning". NOOOOOOOOOOO HUBBY we cant do this in the morning!!! I gotta go to work, I have a deadline. Wake up HUBBY, its THURSDAY NIGHT, you aint getting away with this. Needless to say, Thursday night wasnt bad. A few hours later, and as I was in my rare deep sleep, Mr HUBBY decides to wake up.
First he goes to the bathroom, opens the creaky door, switches the light on which by the way lit the whole room up. HUBBY I said, please, can you please switch the light off, its getting in my eyes. I wanna SLEEEEEEEEEP. He does just that, then goes to the fridge, opens it, gets a can of pepsi, then SLAMS the door. All the while Im just whining, please HUBBY, Pllllleeeeeeaaaasseeee, I WANT TO SLEEP. You think he might get the hint. He then switches the TV on discovery science and the noise just bugged the hell outta me. HUBBBBBBBBBBY I screamed, I beg you. He says, Oh sorry, did I wake you up? Umm No HUBBY, you just made my sleep go out the door. Oh sorry sweetie he says. I cant sleep.
He switches TV off, then starts the internet!!! I literally got the other pillow and stuck it on my face didnt care if I was suffocating. But, unfortunately once I wake up, I can never go back to sleep. So there I was, in bed, in the early hours of Friday, watching HUBBY reading his emails!!! I flipped, I did. And Ms Nag rose back to life.
ME (Seething): You know, the fact that you live alone is NOT helping OUR situation.
HUBBY (still reading his emails): Aha, its ok sweetie
ME: Whats OK??? Are you even listening to what Im saying???
HUBBY (moves to read news): Oh look, the kidnap in al sinak was targetting sunnis
ME: Oh My DEAR GOD. HUBBY, helllooooo, Im talking to you.
HUBBY: Listen to this, they let go of the Shia's and the...
ME (Almost shouting): WELL GOOD. Shias are the best!!!
HUBBY (staring at me, atleast I got his attention finally): Oh dont say that, we are equal. You should never say that. We are all Iraqis.
ME: Ok fine, so as I was saying, our living arrangements arent working out. You have gone back to living a bachelor's life, its as if I dont exist anymore. You slam the door, you switch the light on, you have the TV on, hellloooooooo, all the while, Im trying to get some sleep. It annoys the hell outta me!!!
HUBBY: I couldnt sleep from the helicopters' noise. What did you want me to do? Stay in bed???
ME: YESSSSSSSSSSS. Stay in the darn bed. Or maybe I should get you a headset long enough so you can plug it in the TV. And maybe you should have gone to the bathroom without switching the lights on!!!
HUBBY: You wanted me to fall??? I could barely see my way.
ME: Umm HUBBY, you talk as if we are in a mansion, its a bloody 6 meters by 4 room. The bathroom is right next to the bed!!!
HUBBY: So what are you saying??? You want me out???
ME: NOOOO, I want you to atleast acknowledge my presence
HUBBY: Oh sweetie, Im so sorry, I do, ofcourse I do.
He walks to bed, slips in right next to me, switches the TV on AGAIN, snuggles close and shuts his eyes. A few minutes later HUBBY is in deep sleep while Mrs here, is wide awake, seething with anger, staring at him with blood shot eyes!!!
You would think men learn with time. Aha, sure. Yes granted he got me a present and surprised me, so all isnt lost (I hope). Marriage in the Green Zone is difficult as it is. The one hour we have daily is spent eating and gossiping about the office. Thursday night is spent mostly watching science channel and sleeping. I guess many consider him lucky not to have his wife nagging him 24 hrs, yup I dont disagree...I dont disagree at all...
Oh well, I guess maybe next Thursday, I will make sure power is disconnected from the TV, and I might as well disconnect the internet while Im at it. Break the bathroom lightbulb, I can do without it. And probably empty the fridge from the Pepsis I have. hehe....They say revenge is sweet. Can it be sweeter than this. Aaaaah Revenge...The Green Zone Wife Revenge...
14 Comments:
Hehe...that was funny...it's good to see a light-hearted post from you...
Hubby better be more awake next week :)
It's too bad Iraq didn't win. I honestly believe the win would have had more effect in moving Iraq forward than anything the politicians are doing now.
As for your husband going to sleep, it sounds like work is sucking up all his pent up energy. Work must be physically draining although mentally energizing otherwise he would be looking for a way out. Either that or he feels like he is just a stud bull and views sex as work to get a baby.
Maybe your personal entries don't get as many comments, but I personally think they are far more interesting ;)
Thanks again and stay safe.
NIW ~ Can you recieve gifts? And if so, how?
You know what NIW,
Change the perfume type and get another one that attracts Hubby for sure...and impose your self. hahah
Fun post! Typical marriage stuff in an untypical situation. Fact of life - men start slowing down in bed after 40, while women stay about the same. I'm convinced it's a cruel biological joke. However, there's probably a valid reason. Women over 30 have a higher risk of having a mongoloid child, and men over 40 have a higher risk of having an autistic child.
Rescue a homeless kitten. Since you're gone all day, two would be better, to keep each other company. They'll keep you entertained in the evenings. Plus, you'll always have a warm, soft, purring body cuddled up to you at night. They're low maintenance (get short haired kitties), don't take up much space, and they're a lot of fun!
ROFL, that was one funny post NW. Men are the same all over the world.
Yo NIW,
Habebe, I am sorry to say, but Hubby is a bit crazy. Yes, he (and you)is/are brave Patiroits for your country-but still to sleep when he has a beauitful wife who sees him once a week is nuts. Many times I have seen other Iraqi men on the street when a pretty Iraqi girl walks and they do not even notice. Is there something in the water? Yet, these same guy want to play grab ass with Jun Dea AmmReKee. Maybe if these guys paid more attention to the treasures they had at home they would not fight so much.
taji
Hehheh. The Green Zone Wife Revenge... and this while you told you'd block the bad news!
Or did you post this so that your hubby reads it, becomes frightened and resumes some marital obligations??
Of course after the vibrator-story and then this, your readers might have risen expectations on what will follow...
:)))
bests!
There were times when I would head for the kitchen and my sister and nieces would be in the living room talking. They would stop and give me this "look" that women are so good at and I would say "Uh oh, you're talking about men aren't you?" Then I would hightail it back to my room and safety. Well I'm gonna hide out in my room for now and check back when it's safe.
That was funny!!! Sometimes, wives needs to talk senses (or better still nag senses)into the head of their husbands.
If hubby knows what is good for him and his sanity, he should better cooperate next week. As the saying goes 'Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned'!!
Why are you in a country that is being destroyed? A TRUE Iraqi would leave on the next plane (if only they could). You are living your life in a country you didn't even grow up in. Oh ya, let's make it "better" while we bomb it into netherhood. The US military started all the destruction and killing. And you work for them! Your day-by-day stories are amusing. If only the people who exsist outside your safety net had the same luxery! You are hypocrisy defined. And so am I.
For some reason, I just don't trust you.
DXB, I try once in awhile to do just that. Forget whats around, and focus on my own life. Lol, umm I dunno abt HUBBY being more awake, lets see...
Sang J, yes its a pity, its amazing how for the whole time of the match you didnt hear any explosions or anything. After match was over, I could hear the explosions from my room...Oh well...Umm and I doubt HUBBY views sex as baby making medium. I think its more, I dunno, work related and stress. Or lets just hope thats the truth...
Anon, thanx ;)
Anon, yeah we can here in the GZ. We have an APO address..
MM, I used to put the perfume angel by thierry Mugler for 7 yrs until I met HUBBY. He persisted I used "beautiful" So its definitely his one and only...Maybe I should take some lessons, I probably have lost the touch ;(
Anon, Hmm, slowing down by 40??? I know ppl who are at it like rabbits in their 40's!!! And btw, I hate cats, Dogs I love but cats, no thanx...
Carol, yeah I think so too...
Looooooooool Taji...That made me laugh alot...Maybe its the blonde hair and blue eyes that get them. Arab men are always besotted with fair women!!!
Oh Cile, I try as much as I can just to stay away from sadness, sometimes I can, other times, you cant help it. And no, I dont think HUBBY has read my blog lately. After that fiasco a few months ago, I think he stopped, well lets hope he did, or else I will be in deep Sh**
Lol Solo, you can come out again. I assure you its safe...
Moody crab, yeah more like haunt them by nagging...But I mean seriously, all the effort, and then he sleeeeeeeeeps!!! Cmon, that aint fair...
Anon, I aint gonna comment, cuz Im not in the mood for ppl like you right now!!!
love and war go hand in hand!
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