Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape neurotic Iraqi wife: The Smile of Victory...

neurotic Iraqi wife

October 15, 2006

The Smile of Victory...

Im at work, so Sshhhhhh. Ive completed my tasks and decided to post from here. I hope it wont get me in trouble. But a series of emails I received and a post I read on Iraq The Model, tempted me to write. I just couldnt wait until I go to my room. So here it is. The Lancet Report...Although it mentioned deaths from coalition forces, I do dispute the use of "coalition/occupation forces". Yes the latter did kill Iraqis but but for the most part I blame the terrorists, the so called benevolent neighbours and their mujahideen, the Saddam Loyalists and ofcourse the militias....

I am absolutely outraged at the outpour of people disputing these numbers!!! I mean extremely disgusted. I dont care who committed these crimes, but the numbers are correct. Mr Bush, the more I get to hear your speeches, the more my hatred towards you increases. To belittle the Iraqi blood is just beyond me. To shrug your shoulders and say that these are lies is beyond me. For anyone who disagrees or laughs these numbers off, then I will tell you this, COME HERE AND SEE FOR YOURSELF WHATS REALLY HAPPENING!!! Im sure everyone has internet access and satellite channels, right??? Well do me a favour, and think about this oh and get a calculator out.

Atleast a hundred bodies are found decapitated thrown in trashbins daily in Baghdad only. And I say atleast 100. Take into consideration the West, East, South and North of the Country. Add another 100. Oh and by the way these are the ones we hear off. So 100 plus 100 we get 200 daily. ATLEAST. multiply that by 365, then by 3 since thats three years from March and add 200 * 217 (number of days from March to October). You still with me???Ok then add all those that died from the bombings of the war, the suicide bombings that take place daily, the so called "friendly fire" oh and the collateral damage. Ofcourse you have to take into consideration the deaths that occured on the markets that killed hundreds, the deaths that took place on the bridge last year, the anonymous deaths that take place. Hmm, where does that put the number at???

Isnt it sad, that now we value Iraqi blood by number of deaths. I dont care if its 660,000 0r 1000. They are still Iraqis who GOT KILLED. And its even sadder to see people or hear people saying that these are a bunch of lies. The whole world cried when Tsunami took place, or 911 or the other disasters, I am one of them. But I also cry for my own country that I see torn. Instead of the two rivers, we have rivers upon rivers of blood. Am I making this up??? No, I wish I was. I wish that all the gloom and all the sadness in Iraq is a lie. Who wouldnt??? I wish that all these stories of butchered bodies is a lie. I wish that all those kidnappings is a lie. I wish that all the sectarian violence is a lie. I wish that all the stories of orphaned children is a lie. I wish everything that I hear from my Iraqi friends, all their sadness and fears are Lies. I really do. But they aint. If you dont believe me, or dont believe the others, then thats your choice. You are free to formulate your own opinion.

I am trying to be as unbiased as I can. But when it comes to lies about the blood of my Iraqi people, then I cant stay silent, and I wont. Its like a jungle out here. Literally a wild jungle. Some Police men are renting their police cars to criminals inorder to get a few dollar notes. Can you believe it??? An Iraqi selling another Iraqis blood. A colleague of mine was telling me that he lives somewhere near Zayouna, and just 2 days ago, 4 police cars stormed by a house, killed a whole family, took the 22 year old son right under the policemens' noses. They just pretended that nothing is happening. AFter the militias left, the Police went and carried the bodies away. This is Iraq, ladies and gentlemen. This is the new Iraq.

If someone was grabbed, theres no one to help him or her. No policeman will dare interfere with the gangs, infact many of them ARE the police!!! Maliki says the militias have to get dismantled!!! Dismantled my A**. Last night, HUBBY and I were having dinner at a local coffee shop. I was the only woman, so I felt pretty awkward. Right next to our table were a group of Iraqi men talking. I was intrigued as I heard the words "the mother grabbed him", "she must have grabbed him". As I listened more, it appears that some militia took a young man from their house, the mom tried grabbing on to him, so the criminal animals, not only killed the son, but the mom too. They didnt stop at that, they apparantely cut their ears off, their tongues and their hands!!! I am not making this up. I heard it last night. I wish I was making all this up, I swear to God and to everything I believe in, I wish I was making these stories up, I really do.

After last night, I went back to my room and thought that I should stop blogging. It lost the lustre. Every post is gonna be a repetition of the other. People dying, people kidnapped, people immigrating. Theres nothing else. Nothing new. I try to talk to my friends and ask them to give me one good news. I tell them in Iraqi (hasra ib galbi I hear something happy) They laugh at me. Then sarcastically Z said "oh we are having the time of our lives here. Iraq is a paradise. 24 hour electricity, freedom, we can walk in the streets whenever we want. There is no fear. Our kids are so safe that we let them out to play. My wife and I go out to restaurants without having to look around a million times. " He then looked right at me, and said, is that what you want me to tell you??? You want me to say we are having the time of our lives???Will that make you feel better???

GUILT GUILT GUILT. Thats all there is in me right now. Guilt and anger at the lies that people spread. Guilt and anger at the people who say that not many Iraqis have died. Guilt and anger for I cant do anything to help. Guilt and anger, for Im Iraqi but Im viewed as the "Lucky one" just because of my passport. Guilt and anger because the Iraq I always dreamt of has become one big nightmare. Guilt and anger, because people have become fed up with listening to the truth and instead they want to believe the lies. They want to believe the lies because its music to their ears. Guilt and anger because outside these T walls are trashbins filled with decapitated bodies of women, children and men. Guilt and anger because outside these gates all Iraqis have become a target, Sunni's, Shia's, Christians, Kurds. Guilt and anger because after all the years of tyranny, people are now wishing for Saddam the criminal to come back. Guilt and anger because the freedom we all wanted Iraqis to have, has become their main source of death...

You dont believe me thats upto you, you want to read other blogs who tell you that the Lancet report is a lie then again thats upto you. But look deep down inside yourself, and ask yourself this, Is it ok, for someone to knock on your door out of no where because of your faith or belief and grab your child, mother, father, sister, brother, husband and shoot them all in the head, right infront of your eyes....Shoot them then cut them to pieces for the dogs to sniff in the Bins??? Do you think thats ok??? Or is it ok to hide your faith in fear of getting killed??? My other christian friend K hasnt come to work for 5 days now because his Christian neighbours got killed. He is sitting in the house locked up with a gun in his hands. Do you think thats ok???Think about it. And no Im not suggesting that the coalition forces should leave. Infact, I dont even know what would happen if they do leave. But all I want you to know, that the credibility of both the US and Iraqi governments has disappeared. The so called freedom that everyone, every single person was hoping and dreaming of has gone.

I will tell you this though. The Iraqi people are resilient. They are survivors. They will rise up and beat this terror. If not today then tomorrow. AND THER IS A TOMORROW. I see it in their eyes, I see it in their smiles. Their sad sad smiles. But its there. The Smile...The Smile of Victory...
posted by neurotic_wife at 9:30 PM

22 Comments:

why you are there??

October 15, 2006 at 11:12 PM  

I am sorry to hear the hell Iraq has become. Too many unnecessary mistakes have been made by our leadership and the Iraqi people are paying a high price. I wish we individual Americans could do more to help..

October 16, 2006 at 1:02 AM  

NIW, glad to hear from you again.

It is exactly my point - read my comments on this - there trust in the American forces and in the current iraqi government is lost. We talked before about the solution, we did not find any, but from your words, i conclude that we don't need a miracle, there are Iraqis with their survival instinct who will save the country, clean up the cities from all the trash

Be safe and take care of yourself

October 16, 2006 at 1:20 AM  

We have never for a moment doubted how many Iraqi's are being slaughtered and it makes us feel guilty too sitting here in safety and freedom while there is so much suffering elsewhere. There will always be lies and people trying to hide the truth, but truth will always come to the fore, and only those who deliberately choose to blind themselves to the truth can say otherwise. If we feel guilt here.....how much more you must...that I fully understand. How can we help? Is there a way forward? Where is it? Does the whole of Iraq need to become a desolate wasteland before this all stops? Keep blogging, keep putting this story out there. It can't be told too often.

October 16, 2006 at 1:30 AM  

It’s really hard to write anything appropriate after reading your last two posts, because the situation to just too horrible for most of us to imagine. Others have questioned you and your husband’s decision to return to Iraq. You do after all have a choice and the means to leave at any time, which many thousands of others don’t.

Personally I see this conflict lasting years and so the ultimate question is: can you both really make a difference?

Unfortunately that’s a question only you can answer.

Good luck.

October 16, 2006 at 4:15 AM  

You document well the increasing violence and break down in Iraq. You, the bloggers, are our means of hearing the truth on the ground. Our U.S. media is so afraid of government punishment and loss of access that they show us a small, sanitized version of your war. We see few pictures of victims of this senseless violence. We see no blood, no soldiers or children writhing in pain. Only distant, faceless pictures. We only see Iraqi coffins being carried down the streets or on car rooftops. We see no U.S. soldiers in coffins. Our government won't allow it. The U.S. military has just clamped down again on milblogs requiring EVERY one to be screened first for content and pictures. If they could censure Iraq bogs they would - you may be next! In our country you would hardly know a war is going on. We don't suffer; we dont't pay for it (now anyway, it's hidden in the deficit). Our government has silenced many and taken control of many of our freedoms. The people are starting to realize this. Keep blogging. The world nears to hear the truth. It will not be easy for you to be there. Yet you chose to go. Truly I believe a change is coming in the next couple of months in our government policy. Bush's free ride is over. I wish the neo-cons felt a small piece of the enormous guilt you and I feel about what has been down to your country. Keep safe and strong. Sally

October 16, 2006 at 8:21 AM  

NIW,

Would you please add more dead Iraqis to your recent calculations?? Because many died yeserday in 7 car bombs took place in Kirkuk city and the number still in raise, some of the injured and burnt died yesterday night!! :(

October 16, 2006 at 11:30 AM  

well , as an iraqi i feel so sad too, i see no end to this stupidity and violience, i think that the solution is take these "political" parties out and dismentle all the Militia, and dont allow any "Religious" activity, instead assign a service government for 5 years to do only service to people and reconstruction, providing jobs, increasing salaries , level of life for all iraqies, and a safe life....Who needs a "Patriotec" , " National" , "Suni" , "Shia" , "Kurdi", "Arab". "Christian" /....etc
we need an Iraqi Government who leads a big project of RE-construction of both the Iraqi Human and the Iraqi Environment...thats what we need ....and i agree with u NIW, and think that we the Iraqies , Only Iraqies without any other classification ,,, can do the work ...so Keep up the good work and be safe

RainMan380.....
Editor
www.thesoug.com

October 16, 2006 at 12:42 PM  

Beyond the numbers we must always remember that these are the deaths of real people from real families.

October 16, 2006 at 1:39 PM  

Praying the Iraqi people see victory soon. May peace and prosperity reign through out Iraq.
May God Bless Iraq.

Who knows what the answer is?
We in America feel totally helpless.
The Iraqi people must put more pressure on their government. Democracy is power to the people.

October 16, 2006 at 3:05 PM  

It would be a start if the United States apologized for war crimes, torturing prisoners, the deaths of 600,000 Iraqis due to its own poor policies, not to mention the likely 200,000 Iraqis killed directly by American and "coalition" troops.

It might also apologize for setting up permanent military bases, a policy of "stay the course" that results in greater and greater violence each day.

The U.S. should also call for a ceasefire with the Sunni resistance fighters and agree to a time table for withdrawal. Right now, U.S. policies are fueling sectarian violence. It appears that the U.S. is the one that trained some of the death squads. (Similar tactics were used by the U.S. in Latin America.)
It should get Halliburton and all the multi-nationals out of there. Withdraw the mercenaries as well.

Set up a massive fund for Iraqis to rebuild Iraq. Ask the religious leaders to consider next steps. Sistani has withdrawn from the political scene, but perhaps could still play a constructive role, if the U.S. got out of the way.

The U.S. wanted to install a puppet gov't in Iraq. This has failed. Now it uses the chaos and continued violence as excuses to stay. Sadly, it is the very U.S. presence that inflamed the present violence.

Basically the U.S. needs to get the f...k out. Each day of U.S. "help" makes things worse.

sc

October 16, 2006 at 4:36 PM  

This article clarifies the futility and wrongheadedness of current american policy.

9 Paradoxes of a Lost War


sc

October 16, 2006 at 4:45 PM  

Why are iraqis killing their own. Why? Wht for, wht is the reason. why? I could understand if they were killing coalition forces, although they are but not on the scale tht they are killing their own. They all soppose to be muslims. It just dont make sense. They seem to get some horrid satisfaction in killing. Torturing innocent people, decapitaing, drilling etc..it's barbaric. The Iraqis are killing their own for wht? I was against the war form the begining The US had no right but saying tht the iraqi too have no right either. In my eyes they are worse than the US. Nothing justifies their mudering peronsa. NOTHING. It is just senseless.

October 16, 2006 at 5:06 PM  

Dear NIW,

I think i understand what happened to many iraqis after reading the Lancet report. It came to them as a SHOCK. They became traumatised (which doesn't mean that they weren't before) & they responded emotionally. I understand that.

That is why all our reactions as Iraqis with each other should be measured. In other words, please take it EASY.
U have also reacted emotionally against the report NIW. And so is almost every iraqi. The reason in my opinion is the accumulation of frustrating news from Iraq, the general feeling of helplessness of everybody, the criminal mistakes here & there...etc. Then comes the report which caught everybody completely OFF GUARD. So no one was ready for such a shock. & u see the results on the Iraqi blogs.

So to u & to all Iraqis: Take it easy on yourselves. Take a deep breath (& maybe if that helps, count to 10), read the report carefully again, mark the inconsistencies if any, & then prepare your answer.

I remind everybody that the criminal Baathists have been trying since day one of their control on Iraq 38 years ago to get Iraqis into this state of mind. So don't tell me that the Lancet has succeeded where the Baathists have failed.

Take Care!

Saad

October 16, 2006 at 5:32 PM  

Anonymous,

The U.S. instituted policies that pitted one group against another. When the U.S. invaded Fallujah (a huge war crime in and of itself) it used Shiite and I believe Kurdish forces as well. The U.S. has continued to pit one group against another.

The U.S. disbanded the Iraqi army. It created conditions for chaos.

Terrorist groups saw an opportunity, a power vaccuum. Their bombing of mosques, markets... incited further violence.

Each killing provokes a response of revenge. The U.S. exacerbated and in many cases created conditions for sectarian violence. The Iraqis have been forced to group as Shiites, Sunni, and Kurds whether they wished to or not.

Iraqis are killing each other as a direct result of U.S. policies: disbanding the army, power vaccuum, only protecting the oil ministry early on thereby allowing the destruction of most gov't ministries, using Shiites and Kurds to attack Sunni areas, setting up "an election process" in which people gravitated towards parties based upon ethnic lines, setting up a gov't structure in which death squads are part of the gov't....the list goes on.

sc

October 16, 2006 at 6:04 PM  

An awful situation. A situation predicated on excuses. The excuse of the militias, baathists, and foreigners is that the 'occupier' is to blame, and the excuse of the 'occupier' is that the militias, baathists and foreigners are to blame. Until all of these people stop blaming each other there isn't going to be any progress at all.

I hope that things get better for Iraq, and that rationality rather than sectarianism takes back the streets. As in many wars the people who least deserve it suffer the most.

October 16, 2006 at 7:06 PM  

for the sake of God! change that template!
"il khateer Allah"
my eyes are killing me!

Zappy! "depressed" :p

October 16, 2006 at 9:19 PM  

Iraqui lives are important. The cost of this excursion in Iraqui lives should be accurately tallied. There is too much difference between 30,000 and 600,000 to ignore. If the sample size was not sufficeint, then the US government should pay to increase it. If the methadology was flawed, then the best methodology should be found. But we need to know. Not for the election, but for our own conscience.

Sorry, Mr President, i find your dismissal of this report, insufficient.

October 18, 2006 at 9:33 PM  

anon, cuz I missed the people, my friends, and cuz I wanna be with HUBBY.

Texas, You can do alot, just by making our voices heard, or by writing to your senator or your media. There is alot to be done here, many things have to be cleaned, especially the iraqi government.

hey Mixmax, yes Iraqis are survivors, but those who are trying to clean their country are themselves ending dead. So I still stand by my words, we need a MIRACLE!!!

Thanx beampage for your constant support, I really appreciate it.

Oh realist, I dunno. Making a difference is all relative. A smile can make a difference, a few words of encouragement can make a difference. Im not engineer, but I certainly hope that Im seen as a friend and a sister to many of those who touched my own life. And these are the same people that are suffering in this no mans land. So yeah the answer to your question, HUBBY and I are hoping to make a difference, maybe not to millions, but to those who touched our hearts...

Thanx Sally. Its sad that they are screening people now, whats freedom of speech if you cant write abt the truth???

MM, yeah, the numbers just keep rising day by day, while mr bush is watsing his time denying it!!!

Rainman, I agree with you 100%. Thats the best solution. The only way it would work. remove this government, dismantle the militias, and put people who care about their country and the people. Very well said...

Wild rice, yes, these are real people, not cartoons or some imaginery souls. Imagine walking daily to work and you see a dead body floating in the river??? Thats what my friends experience on a daily basis, apart from the corpses on the streets...

Call me grandma, what government??? The so called government we have is the government that supports the militia. No matter what the PM says, he has no power, the power is within the religeous factions. THEY RULE here!!!

ebb, if the troops leave, forget ever hearing a country called Iraq. The Iranians will jump in and takeover the South. The terrorists will jump in and take Baghdad. And the Noth, well the Kurds will have it. Can ppl coexist you ask, sure they can. they did decades and decades ago. They did before these "jihadists" and militias took over.

SC, I do agree with you that its US policies and their choice of gov that resluted in all this, but I totally disagree with you about the withdrawal of troops. If they leave Iraq will be erased from the map of the world. ANd please, dont forget what the Iraqis are doing to each other. The troops have committed atrocious crimes against us yes, like Abu Ghraib and the other stories in Hadeetha. But whats happening now is just indescribable...

Anon, they are killing each other for power. Power of the chair, power and money. Iraqi life has become so cheap that they stopped caring. And also because of the outsiders, those animal barbaric criminals, they have ignited the fire. It makes no sense I know, and its heart wrenching, but whats the solution??? How can you dismantle the militias???Unless you kill thme all. Thats the best solution...

Saad, no this wanst a shock, infact I dispute the low number the report produced. Apart from the murders and killings, there is also health issues, I know many people, healthy mind you, also died from cancer, heart failure etc, all because of whats happening here...

Thanx Jack. Yes, its always the innocent ppl that suffer the most. Iraqis suffered during sddams tyrnical regime, and now they are suffering worse under a differnt image and a different name...I too hope that one day things will get better, but when??? definitely not soon...

Zappy wallah I promise you I will change it this Friday when I have free time. just give me a suggestion to what and I will change the template...

Seth, I wasnt surprised abt Bush's reaction. Infact I expected it. The reason why I got pissed off, is that no matter what number it is, if its one death or 20000, they are still Iraqi souls, whose time on earth was cut short because of some person's erratic decisions. A whole nation is suffering!!!

October 18, 2006 at 10:28 PM  

"no this wanst a shock, infact I dispute the low number the report produced. Apart from the murders and killings, there is also health issues, I know many people, healthy mind you, also died from cancer, heart failure etc, all because of whats happening here..."

Ok, in the same line not to mention the road accidents, car accidents, violent tribal disputes, ordinary & 'sharaf' murders....etc. These r the usual crimes u see everywhere. Their percentage is always lower than that of the victims of the terror, American-caused, or war caused deaths.
But i'm surprised that u want to include all these small percentages in the report? These r not deaths caused by the occupation. The authors of the Survey meant only the deaths caused violently by the war & terrorists, EXCLUSIVELY what u mentioned.
Also i dispute the high numbers, where i agree with Zeyad. Talking technically, I remind u that such 'incidents' have their heighth in the Summer months. Their lowest in the winter months. Also in Baghdad the toll is higher since Baghdad is very densily populated. So would u apply the same victim standard obtained in Baghdad to a place like say, the village of Al-Khalis in Diyala province?
If I should venture on a more reasonable number (& u excuse me for doing so coldly), it should be somewhere btw the same given Lancet figure & its half.

Take care, Saad

October 19, 2006 at 6:33 PM  

Wow,
I can imagine what really happens in your country..
and that condition was not happen only in Iraq,
in my country, this tragedy also happens few years ago. How can they kill each other,
I see in the picture, in one big house, their heads (at least more than ten) cutted and placed on the three, how can they do that..?
they more worse than animal..!
I wish to God that your people soon will leave this condition as we do.. Insya Allah..

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