neurotic Iraqi wife

I was inspired to write about the following subject by a post on Spouse Buzz. Its a very interesting subject. Somehow taboo, yet extremely important. Affairs in the War Zone. The post on Spouse Buzz, talks about a woman whose husband was deployed and when he came back, he found a wife thats pregnant (not by him) and his bank accounts cleaned out. What a shame...A man risking his life by serving his country, leaving behind a wife who he trusted and loved, to come back and find out that she has not only cheated on him, but taken his his life savings. Wow, must be painful, very painful...

My story is different. Its something Ive seen and witnessed in my own eyes. HUBBY would tell me about it before I joined him in the GZ, but I guess I needed to see it to believe it. A few of the Iraqi expats who were working with us were having the time of their life in the Green Zone, when all the while, their wives back home, are in charge of the house, the kids, the daily responsibilities and ofcourse the daily worries of whether "has my husband survived another day or not". I was in that same boat 2 years ago. A newly married wife, worrying 24/7 about my husband's safety. Do you remember the times when I'd call him and he would be out having dinner with his colleagues without any worry in the world. I would hear the background noises of women's laughter and I would just lose it. I mean there I was, alone, watching the news, the mortars, the deaths, when in reality HUBBY had no idea what I was going through.

I knew a guy, an Iraqi American, who came to Iraq in 2003. Worked with the coalition ever since. Then he moved to my company. He had a wife and 3 kids back in the States. But his eyes, his eyes always roamed for the young Iraqi girls that joined our firm. Some of the girls werent shy either. But the latter have dreams of leaving Iraq for a better life, the former is just looking for a good time to serve his testesterone levels.

S wasnt staying with us in the compound. He had a house in the Green Zone, which made his task even easier. He would rent out rooms to girls who are running away from the threats of working with Americans by the different militias. A house in the safe haven of the Green Zone, electricity, water and no threats, who would say NO??? In anycase, at first I didnt really think much of it. I just thought wow, what a benevolent guy this S man is. As time passed, I realised that his open arms werent an altruistic act, infact it was a play to lure the innocent and the not so innocent girls. It made me feel sick to my stomach. How can a man, a husband and a father do such a thing??? I wanted to talk to him, tell him that I know, tell him to stop and to think of his poor wife who probably was fretting about his safety. But realised that it isnt really any of my business. Its him and his conscious...If he has one, that is...

Then I came to discover that he wasnt the only one. There are probably 4 or 5 Iraqi expats who were having extramarital activities. And these are only the ones I know off. The girls on the other hand, the not so innocent ones that is, dont care. For them this is a ticket for their freedom. A ticket to a far far away land. Little do they know. Its a pity really. A great one at that too...A few weeks before we left Iraq, I remember HUBBY going out to dinner with a few guys from another sector. He came back and his face had weird expressions. I was half asleep when he said to me

HUBBY: You know, youre very lucky to have me
Me: Hmm, Really I am??? Why do you say that???
HUBBY: From what I heard today
Me: What you heard today? You mean at dinner?
HUBBY: Yup, you really should be thankful
Me: (Hmmmm, I immediately sat in bed, wandering what the heck is he talking about) So tell me Habeeby (sweetheart) Why should I be thankful
HUBBY: I really wished you were there with me at dinner with these guys and heard their conversation
Me: Ok, can you please tell me what youre talking about, youre killing me with curiousity
HUBBY: All these guys I was with are married
Me: Ok, and so???
HUBBY: All of them are having affairs

This time I got up and followed him to the tiny cubicle of a bthroom. He sat down doing his business and I took a cig out and sat on the floor with my eyes wide open. Forget sleep forget work....Tell me more I said. He smiled and was silent for a few minutes. He does that when he knows Im dying to find out more. TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE...Cmon dont be mean. How do you know they are having affairs I asked???

Apparantely, one guy, supposedly a big shot Dr in god knows what engineering, got a phonecall from a woman waiting for him at a house. He then started describing the lady in question to his friends and bragging about how "brilliant" she is. How much, a guy asked. $200 the Dr answered. Wowww, $200, she must be really good. You wont know until you try her, the Dr said, here take the number and tell her Dr so and so sent you. So what services do you get, and until this point I stopped listening and told HUBBY to spare me the details!!!

OMG. I could not believe my ears. I know HUBBY wouldnt lie about such things, especially when its a sensitive issue. I mean what the hell are these guys thinking. I immediately smiled at HUBBY, and when we got into bed, I hugged him and whispered "By the way, I know Im lucky to have you..." We have many differences thats for sure, but no marriage is perfect. I think if I ever find out that my husband is having an affair, or ever had one, OH MY DEAR GOD. I definitely would become Ms Bobbit No 2.

I did bump into Dr yuck the next day. I looked right through him with a slight disgust on my face. I really wanted to ask him "How could you" But rolled my tongue back, and continued the other way. I feel sorry for the wives. The wives who trust their husbands. The wives who wave their goodbyes and their hearts filled with tears. The wives who believe the "I miss you" and "Love you"... Im totally disgusted with the over flowing testesterone. Couldnt they keep it under wraps for 3 months??? Maybe use the conventional way and relieve themselves without having the need to betray the other half??? Ughhh, MEN!!!

So who do you blame??? The wife? The husband? The girl in question? My simple answer is the husband who commits such an act. The wife is gullible, has no idea that within the T walls of the Green zone and under the mortars, their husbands are sleeping around with either professional "whores" or simply amateur "whores". The girl who sells her self/body for money...Hmm, I may not respect her, but then again, maybe she is disillusioned with all whats happening. And as I said, she probably thinks its her easy ticket out of the "Hell hole". As for the man, well, he needs to either buy more porn to satisfy his urge, or maybe take up a new hobby instead, other than the teeny weeny organ in his pants...

There are many stories of that nature, including army personnel and Iraqi girls. I guess some guys may think Iraq like Vietnam. Although General Order No 1 prohibits such acts, but what you wont see, you wont know. I have to admit, that some army guys have genuine feelings towards some of these girls, but dont be fooled. There are success stories of coalition forces marrying Iraqis and taking them back to the States and are having a normal Life. Good for them. But there are other stories like the guys fooling the girl and making her promises, or the girl fooling the guy by sleeping with him and taking his money. These are just small short stories about affairs. Affairs in The Green Zone...