neurotic Iraqi wife

Just abit more than 24 hours left for us here...How do I feel??? I dunno...very mixed feelings, but Im kinda overwhelmed from what we did yesterday...Yesterday for the first time ever during the whole year I have spent here and almost 16 years from the last time I was here on vacation, I ventured out into the RED Zone....Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...I didnt think we were gonna pull it off, but after nagging HUBBY for a long long time, he finally gave in...I guess he felt guilty that he's seen it and I havent...

Its an amazing feeling, gives you a different perspective...I have finally seen my country...I can now leave comfortably...I have finally seen Baghdad...Yesterday was one of those really hot days...We were given a vacation to mark memorial day, but I still went to the office to get some files and save my emails on a hard drive...you never know what might happen...HUBBY told me that there may be a chance of us going out with one of our colleagues..I didnt really believe him so I didnt have any expectations...When W called us and said he was waiting outside..my heart jumped...I grabbed one of my shawls incase I need to cover up...We walked until we reached the check point next to the planning ministry...HUBBY had to escort W in with his car...Then off we went from Mua'laq bridge out...out into the red zone...










We went to Karrada, Jadriya and Arasat..All the while I was sitting in the back seat sticking my head to the window...trying to capture everything in my own eyes...I jump like a little kid everytime I see something...Like a simple sign...Names of restaurants...Fruits stalls...Cars waiting in line for petrol..And wow what a line it was...cars upon cars waiting to get fuel...In this sweltering heat....










Oh and ofcourse I was forced by HUBBY to wear my shawl over my head, as to not stand out...How can I stand out if im sitting in the car???We stopped at a place thats known for its icecream, placed called (Faqma)...had the yummiest icecream ever(ofcourse I wasnt allowed to get out of the car)...
Could not believe that I can have such icecream here, here in Baghdad...Similiar to a banana split but instead with sliced bananas and a cocktail of icecream flavours....

This is the Ice cream place...Streets look normal dont they...



Then went to dinner to a place called Saysaban(finally I was able to get out of the car but had to stay covered up, and good thing I was, since all women I saw out had head scarves on)...Everything seemed almost like normal...You cannot tell this is a country torn by war...Families and their kids were having dinner....men smoking hubbly bubblies...I did hear in my own ears children's laughter as they played in the garden...


This is Saysaban...A beautiful place...You can smell the freshness of the grass...It also has fountains...their sound so soothing to the ears...what a contrast to the noise of helicopters we are used to hearing every single day...what a contrast to the noise of mortars, rockets and car explosions...



I asked W, how can the country be so unsafe when I noticed the vast amount of police roaming the streets...W said, this only proves to you that they do nothing all day long except drive their cars around, and holding their guns as if they are some kind of mafia...No one here believes in the police force...Almost everyone complains that the police dont really do anything to protect the Iraqi citizens...Its a shame really...

Between the wrecked and old shabby buildings, I also saw beautifully renovated ones, with modern shops underneath...All of them were closed though. I asked W why were they closed??? He said that this area was at one time the In place to be, but it has been targetted by insurgents and mobs of kidnappers, so everyone either abandoned the shops or moved to some other location....For a second and only one second I was able to imagine what Baghdad can look like if its given the chance to be a normal place...For a second and only one second, I was able to envision the streets, the shops, the cafes, just like in my previous post....People were out and about, but what you see on their faces is exhaustion...Sadness....Hopelessness...But nevertheless Resilience...

Although our trip was very limited, I enjoyed it alot, tried to take as many photos as I can all within the confinement of the car....HUBBY said that Im only seeing the good parts in Baghdad, the rest will make my heartbreak....During the trip, I saw many Huge sign posts of AL Hakeem...I also saw many black signs along walls with the name of the martyrs...It is true Baghdad is filled with those...Each and every family here has lost loved ones...be it now, be it during the Iraq Iran War..be it in the first GUlf war...Iraq has paid quite alot of lives and still there is no peace...I wander how many more will die, how many more will suffer....

I am leaving here with very little hope, close to none, but its there...Maybe more of a dream than hope...This is probably my last post ever from Baghdad...Im gonna miss it, miss everyone I met...But I know that one day I will be able to tell my kids and my grandkids all about this place...And maybe just maybe they will get to see the Baghdad, the Iraq we all envision...

It was a long day...Im still asking the question why...Im still wandering...But for now...Im satisfied..satisifed that I finally smelt the real Baghdad air, saw the real Baghdad streets...Yesterday for the first time I was a Tourist...A Tourist in Baghdad...