neurotic Iraqi wife
May 31, 2008
Three Years Ago...
Every morning while having my morning coffee in attempt to wake up, I go to a website which tells me what happened today in history. It kinda takes me away from the depressing present and for a few seconds I get to imagine myself somewhere else, like a 100 years ago or fifty years ago. Today as I was checking, turned out to be on 31 May 1859, Big Ben chimed for the first time. For just a few seconds, I imagined myself walking along the cobbled roads of London alongside the horse carriages, when the famous landmark made its first debut 149 years ago.
All of a sudden it hit me when I realized what today is. Today is 31 May right? Wowww, In Neurotica’s day in history, it was exactly three years ago, three years ago to the day that I stepped onto Iraqi earth after a long time of hiatus. Yup, it was only three years ago that I stepped off of that C130 onto BIAP. For me, it seems like a lifetime ago, yet, I can still remember every second, every minute, every tear and every smile on that day. I can still remember the excitement, the anxiety, the adrenalin rush. And then the extreme shock.
Although HUBBY tried to tell me many times prior to my arrival about the mass military presence in the area, I thought yeah probably one or 2 humvies here or there. But OMG, everywhere I looked I was surrounded by men in uniform. I never anticipated the image before me. It was a strange feeling. You can say mixed feelings with a slight tinge of contempt. Yes I knew my country was occupied. Yes I knew it wasn’t all hunky dory BUT I never thought it was gonna be like that. It took me a considerable amount of time till I finally got used to that camouflage colour.
It was three years ago, yet I can still remember how poor HUBBY was pulling my two huge suitcases together with my protective vest and helmet in the sweltering heat of Baghdad through the uneven stoney road. I can still see the droplets of sweat forming at the tip of his forehead, and his biceps twitching. Yet he never complained. He never uttered a word while I pranced casually infront of him trying to grasp everything around me just like a child in wonderland. Even when I was clicking away with my camera laughing at his dissheveled state, he laughed with me and enjoyed the moment through MY eyes.
Yet those same tears of laughter, turned into tears of sadness many times during these long three years. Oh yes, I can probably have my own Neurrotica’s salty lake if I wanted to. Wow. On 26 April 2004, HUBBY and I tied the knot. On 30 April, HUBBY was long gone to Baghdad leaving behind a very very UNHAPPY Wife. Funny thing is, I knew he was going to Baghdad, but whats even funnier, I had hoped (yeah stupid delusional me) that by him spending three days with me, he will forget ALL about his job offer….Im actually laughing big time right this second while writing this. I mean HOW RIDICULUS could I have been then…Damn my naivety.
And on 31 May 2005, I had those exact same hopes, lol…I guess I never learn do I? Three years later, I still have have a teeny weeny bit of hope remaining (Yeah I never give up that easily) that one day, one day very soon, I can join the “normal wife” statistic and be just that. A normal wife living a normal married life. Yeah it was three years today, and my, what three years. Met loads of people from all walks of life from all over the globe. And waved many painful goodbyes to people I sincerely liked and respected for the risks they took just to come to work everyday.
Yeah three years ago I stood infront of those same dull brownish concrete walls oblivious to what was waiting for me inside. All I heard then was the chirping of the birds. All I smelt then was the beautiful freshness of summer. All I saw then was the famous clear blue Baghdadi sky. Today, those same chirps turned into annoying helicopter noises hovering over me. Today, that same summer freshness is a suffocating wind of sand storms that chokes you out. Today, that same Baghdadi sky is filled with dark clouds. Dark tearless clouds. Yeah, that was years ago...Three years ago…
All of a sudden it hit me when I realized what today is. Today is 31 May right? Wowww, In Neurotica’s day in history, it was exactly three years ago, three years ago to the day that I stepped onto Iraqi earth after a long time of hiatus. Yup, it was only three years ago that I stepped off of that C130 onto BIAP. For me, it seems like a lifetime ago, yet, I can still remember every second, every minute, every tear and every smile on that day. I can still remember the excitement, the anxiety, the adrenalin rush. And then the extreme shock.
Although HUBBY tried to tell me many times prior to my arrival about the mass military presence in the area, I thought yeah probably one or 2 humvies here or there. But OMG, everywhere I looked I was surrounded by men in uniform. I never anticipated the image before me. It was a strange feeling. You can say mixed feelings with a slight tinge of contempt. Yes I knew my country was occupied. Yes I knew it wasn’t all hunky dory BUT I never thought it was gonna be like that. It took me a considerable amount of time till I finally got used to that camouflage colour.
It was three years ago, yet I can still remember how poor HUBBY was pulling my two huge suitcases together with my protective vest and helmet in the sweltering heat of Baghdad through the uneven stoney road. I can still see the droplets of sweat forming at the tip of his forehead, and his biceps twitching. Yet he never complained. He never uttered a word while I pranced casually infront of him trying to grasp everything around me just like a child in wonderland. Even when I was clicking away with my camera laughing at his dissheveled state, he laughed with me and enjoyed the moment through MY eyes.
Yet those same tears of laughter, turned into tears of sadness many times during these long three years. Oh yes, I can probably have my own Neurrotica’s salty lake if I wanted to. Wow. On 26 April 2004, HUBBY and I tied the knot. On 30 April, HUBBY was long gone to Baghdad leaving behind a very very UNHAPPY Wife. Funny thing is, I knew he was going to Baghdad, but whats even funnier, I had hoped (yeah stupid delusional me) that by him spending three days with me, he will forget ALL about his job offer….Im actually laughing big time right this second while writing this. I mean HOW RIDICULUS could I have been then…Damn my naivety.
And on 31 May 2005, I had those exact same hopes, lol…I guess I never learn do I? Three years later, I still have have a teeny weeny bit of hope remaining (Yeah I never give up that easily) that one day, one day very soon, I can join the “normal wife” statistic and be just that. A normal wife living a normal married life. Yeah it was three years today, and my, what three years. Met loads of people from all walks of life from all over the globe. And waved many painful goodbyes to people I sincerely liked and respected for the risks they took just to come to work everyday.
Yeah three years ago I stood infront of those same dull brownish concrete walls oblivious to what was waiting for me inside. All I heard then was the chirping of the birds. All I smelt then was the beautiful freshness of summer. All I saw then was the famous clear blue Baghdadi sky. Today, those same chirps turned into annoying helicopter noises hovering over me. Today, that same summer freshness is a suffocating wind of sand storms that chokes you out. Today, that same Baghdadi sky is filled with dark clouds. Dark tearless clouds. Yeah, that was years ago...Three years ago…
13 Comments:
I think you missed your calling. As someone who enjoys reading, you have a way with words. Maybe when you get out for good, you could write a book. And include all the things you haven't been able to put here on your blog for what ever reason.
NEUROTICA LUV;HISTORY & WHERE WE´VE BEEN ;THAT BRINGS US TO WHERE WE ARE ;IS FULL OF MOMENTUS EXPERIENCES ;BE IT THE CHIMES OF BIG BEN & WHEN THEY FIST CLANG & OR SIR T.E.LAWRENCE´S EARLY 1900s FORGING FORTH IN WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A WHOLESOME G.C.C. THE ARABIAN -GULF ABU -DHABI DUBAI STYLE FREE ENTERPRISE TOLERANT SOCIAL STRUCTURE ENCAPSULATED IN AN INTRO. his book " THE 7 PILLARS OF WISDOM"-ANGLO-ARABIAN -PENNINSULA PART OF THE BRITISH COMMONWEALTH" & SO NEUROTICA LUV;THOSE HISTORIC EVENTS MAY WELL HAVE SPARED YOU THE TEARS OF THE PAST 3 years & MAYBE IF WE TRY DEFEATING THE AXIS OFEVIL WE MAY STILL REALISE THAT FREE ENTERPRISE SOCIAL TOLERANT STRUCTURED SOCIETY JOINING IN GLOBAL PRGRMS. ALONGSIDE THE REST OF THE ARABIAN PENNINSULA THE G.C.C.IT MAY TAKE AMERICAN & NATO FORCE TO DEFEAT THE EVIL. BUT PRESENTLY 3 YEARS HENCE & IT´S SAD TO STATE THAT A POSITIVE HISTORY FOR IRAQ IS YET TO TAKE SHAPE???& IF IT DOES MAYBE THEN YOU´D FEEL JOLLY & MERRY INSTEAD OF BEING DEPRESSED ;HONESTLY DARLING THERE SHALL BE NOTHING MORE PLEASING THAN JOINING IN A HAPPY FREE FROM THE AXIS OF EVIL IRAQ ;ALONGSIDE YOU & MILLIONS OF IRAQIS;ALL THE VERY BEST OF GREETINGS & KINDEST OF REGARDS WWW.bfbs.com" CHEERS OLAFF :)
If you will write a book, you'll make a lot of people happy. I enjoy so much your blog, for me it is like an open book, I never know what to expect.
Good luck in the future, waiting for new posts.
Warm greetings
Hello NIW,
I agree with anca, I am in love with your way of writting and expressing.
Well, I should say Congrats for enduring all those difficult days being in Iraq, getting some much experience and building up your carisma amongst different sections at your workstation...
In the same time, I wish you the best always and hopefully one day you will live the normal life of an Iraqi (lovely) wife :)
Marsho
maybe you should consider publishing, in book form, this blog. An editor might want you to edit some of it down, but to keep the essential parts. Your experiences, feelings are from a unique point of view and would be a good record for future historians.
Every day it seems, is a landmark. I hope you are saving your writings NIW. Solo
Here in the United States they have an additional additive added to the commercially available packaged cigarette. Included is the explanation given to myself considering the consequence of improving the safety measures dignifying our finest addictive embrace. Wait, the hang up is a smoldering cigarette with a chemical agent that automatically extinguishes itself in the event of or tragedy of unwound Oxygen, such as an inhale or a stabbing motion. Ordinary conversations deliberating relaxed agendas are now awkwardly interrupted with mis fires and re ignition of beloved cancer attachments. A thrill a minute I don't blame them for charging more. Fire made the caves as far as I know and when they blink it's furry fucking Christmas. Maybe the prairie dogs could stand up more like theirs Hawk on the forecast. First we would have to find the prairie dogs then scare the living shit out of them. Then just sit back and watch the show. Just as long as the prairie dogs don't get there little hands on any anti-terror additives. Then they'd be the ones doing the talking and foraging. On a prairie no less.
OK, NIW, I can officially say I told you so...like a couple of years ago already! ;) But seriously, it would be an amazing book.
Always,
Melanie
Happy anniversary, NIW!
Thanks for the last three years.
:-)
WH, missed my calling for what? For writing a book? Yeah I think so too. Besides who will read it?
Olaff, do you think that Iran can be defeated?
Thanx Anca, do you really think it will make people happy? Lol..
MM, yella, when are we gonna hear your good news???
Anon, the idea came to my mind, BUT, where do I start? Who do I contact. I think I tried searching about a year ago, then I gave up on teh idea.
Solo, 2 years ago, when Id be smoking in the courtyard, and ppl would ask how are you? Id say its groundhog day everyday. Now when you ask someone how they are, their answer is always "Same shit different Day" Lol...Tells you alot about teh histroy we are making here...
Melanie, You will be bored out of your wits. I agree with WH, I lost my calling. Even the sense of humour is no longer there. I used to be funnier, and funner!!I need to have my old self back!!!
CMAR, thanx, but you never liked my posts :)Even your colleagues at IBC, like MG, he was one of the first people who encouraged me, but now, I think he gave up one me...
I'm not thinking, I'm sure!!!
I enjoy it so much, since I discover it, I check it every day, even I know I'll not find daily posts, but I still check(to be sure)...:)
I can feel from ur stories that you are a funny person and you have a very warm heart, so all in all you are a lovely :)
I wish you all all all the best in ur life!
I think a book by you would be great. You have a unique view of Iraq many of us don't. And I think it would a realistic view. But don't reuse what you wrote on the blog here, already read it. I think once you leave there, or you when you can walk down the street safely then write it. That would give you time to recall your tour, now is not the time, as you are already doing the tour.
NEUROTICA LUV I DEFINITELY BELIEVE IT TO BE THE CASE ,PROVIDED THE OUR ALLIED FORCES DEEM IT PROFITABLE & DESIRABLE IF & WHEN IT CAME TO IT THE AXIS OF EVIL CAN BE DEFEATED BY ANY ONO OF OUR NATO ALLIED FORCES.loads of the best greetings darlind www.BFBS.COM YOUR olaff
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