neurotic Iraqi wife

Coming back is always a challenge. It becomes harder and harder with each R&R. After sleeping for only three hours, I had to wake up to the constant ringing of my mobile phone alarm clock. Yup, I dont own a clock, I rely on my mobile. Ofcourse hitting the snooze button doesnt really help. Instead of waking up at 430 I found myself waking up at 530. I had to rush because my ride to the airport was at 6. HUBBY woke up and with his sleepy voice said "I dont think I will be coming with you". I didnt say much, infact I felt guilty that he had to wake up that early, so I just said, thats ok sweetie, I can go alone, its no problem. Ten minutes later he was already putting his clothes on. I just smiled to myself and said to him, please, you really dont have to come, I mean it. He wouldnt hear it and off we went to the airport.

Because Iraqi Airways dont fly to Baghdad from Dubai on Mondays, I took another airline, Jupiter Airlines. Thanks to my brother, he spoke to the manager and I was able to get on it. The flight was full. I mean totally full. We arrived at the airport and it took quite awhile for me to get my boarding pass. I hugged HUBBY goodbye and went inside to the waiting area. As the guy opened the door to the gate, OMG, you can say the exodus started. I dont think standing in a line means anything to any Iraqi. I mean holy cow, everyone just stood up and started pushing and shoving. I wanted to tell them "hey chill out, the plane wont leave without you". Even funnier was an elderly man wearing the traditional dishdash, approached the man infront of me, and asked whether this was the flight to Baghdad. The guy nodded yes, the elderly man didnt bother to go to the back and wait for his turn, instead he pretended he knew the man and stood right next to him. If he wasnt an Iraqi I would have given him a piece of my mind, but I felt bad, so I kept my mouth shut.

As we were hurled inside the bus, I seriously felt like one of those sheep that get hoarded by their shepherds. I mean the pushing and shoving became worse. Besides, why is everyone so keen to go back??? I thought people were leaving Iraq???? As I sat in my seat, one of the exit doors opened and 2 ladies dressed in black on wheelchairs where hurled in. Another lady on crotches holding a picture of a young man, with a black ribbon on the side (indicating he was martyred) followed them. It was then that it hit me, they most probably lost this young man in an explosion, or a militia kidnapping. Sadness overshadowed my thoughts. The flight took 2 hours and 15 minutes. As the Captain announced the descent to Baghdad INternational Airport, the plane kept going round and round for about 30 minutes above the airport. I swear I felt sick to my stomach, and my bladder decided to say hello to me.

I get inside the airport and stand in the line that says "Iraqis". Incidently the man who was looking at my passport was the same one that stamped it when I left three weeks back. I laughed and said its you, he smiled back. I remembered him clearly cuz when I left last time he asked whether I hold another passport, and I said yes, asked him why he asked that question, he didnt answer. This time he said, is the Dubai exit stamp on your British passport? OMG, I just stood there not knowing what to say. I nodded with my eyes pleading him not to give me a hard time, I really really needed to pee...Then he looked at my passport pic and said, what happened to you, you have lost so much weight. I couldnt believe that I was actually having a conversation with this guy. I needed to peeeeeeeeee. Again I nodded and said, yes this picture was taken 8 yrs ago, I lost 10 Kilos during that time. Why he asked. Damn it IM thinking, if he doesnt stop talking soon, Im gonna have to pee in my pants. I forced a smile and said, what else, misery of life..He smiled at me and as he was giving me back my passport, I took it sooooooooo fast and scrammed to the bathroom. That was a close call. He probably thought I was some kinda lunatic, cuz while he was asking me all these questions, I kept tapping my shoes on the floor, as if that will stop my pee urge, but I had to keep moving...

Ofcourse peeing in Baghdad International Airport aint fun at all. First off, the toilets are disgustingly dirty. Oh and if you ever come to BIAP, make sure you have some tissues handy with you, cuz you will never ever find toilet paper. You just have to take a long breath and hold it in so you wont smell the horrible stench. I mean for God's sake, theyre paying millions for O&M, atleast keep the darn toilets clean!!! By the time I was done, I asked one of the trolley guys to help me with my suitcase when it comes in. I would have dragged it myself but because they search everything before you depart the airport, there was no way in hell I was gonna lift a 32 kg bag up. Maybe in my younger days I woulda risked it, but I knew I would make a fool of myself, thats why I asked for help.

I had a PSD team come and pick me up. Although many people even with PSD's fear the airport road, I myself Love it. Its the only opportunity I get to see 5 minutes of the red zone. The houses, the beautiful Iraqi houses. By the time I reached my compound, and as I was walking towards my room, BOOOOOOOOM, a suicide car shook the area. It was somewhere in Karrada. The Big Voice announced a lock down, and I just continued my walk in the middle of the compound. A security guard motioned with his hand for me to run to a bunker, I looked at him with a "are you kidding me??? I aint running with THIS suitcase" I guess he saw the expression on my face, ran towards me, grabbed my bag, and took me to the bunker. I laughed, and told him, this was my wlecome back.

I unpacked my bag, and after a few hours I get a phonecall from my coworker M asking me whether Im interested in having dinner and listen to the latest office news. After dinner I went back to my room and attempted to take a shower. My water was brown, literally brown. I laughed to myself, for it was only the other day I was in this hotel in Dubai taking a shower in a beautiful marble bathroom...Yup, but I guess you gotta make sacrifices, you want something, you gotta leave something else. By the time I got out of the shower I was knackered. I tried to sleep but my eyes kept defying my urge. I think I finally managed to nod off at 2 in the morning, and I couldnt believe it when my mobile alarm rang at 630 (its liek deja vu). I started itching my arms and chest profusely. Then it daunted me, THE DARN ANTS BIT ME!!! I probably had them crawling on me...eeewwww. I immediately placed an order to spray insecticide in my room. I also saw a small baby lizard last night having a party with my tennis shoes. Yuck!!!

Oh well, in another four months and a half, I will be able to enjoy the civilized world again, or maybe even sooner if HUBBY is serious in leaving this place. You never know. As for now, its back to work and back to the Everyday is a Ground Hog Day...