neurotic Iraqi wife
July 18, 2006
Another Day of Silence...
Although I never intended this blog to be of political nature, I cant seem to stop thinking about whats happening in our world today...The Israeli offensive is still going on with hundreds of people dying....The pictures on TV are gruesome....Then we have the daily bombings and eradication of the Iraqi people....This is ATROCIOUS!!! Yesterday, over 50 people were killed, actually murdered in a busy market...Just like that....one day theyre living the next they lay down drowned in their own blood...WHY??? Because they chose to carry on with their life...Because they chose not to give up to those animal terrorists...Because for a few short minutes they believed, they believed and hoped... that for once that yesterday will be different....But they were wrong....Utterly wrong...
Today another bombing in Kufa, where hundreds were lined up to find jobs....Simple labourers whose only hope is to get some small change to be able to feed their families....Simple labourers who chose to go look for jobs, instead of joining the militias or the gangs....Simple labourers who chose to do something instead of sitting useless at home...Simple labourers who believed, believed and hoped...that for once today will be different...But they were wrong...Utterly wrong...
The endless bloodshed, the endless injustice....the endless deaths...The endless wiping out of Iraqis, when will this all end???Will it ever??? In a survey by some Iraqi local firm, 80% of the casualties so far are in universities...Professors and students...Then came the health sector, were doctors have also been a main target...Bin Ladens/Zarqawists/Saddamists/Terrorists all have one goal...One goal of erradicating the once a hub for highly educated people into a zoo...A zoo not filled with animals for animals are too nice to be kept there...No a zoo for criminals, a zoo for murderers...A zoo for militias...Iraq, Ladies and gentlemen is soon becoming a major port for all terrorists...Ooops sorry I forgot, it has already become one....
This is just like Hitler and Germany...Hitler had a plan...His Nazi plan...Kill all those who werent blue eyed, blondes...Kill all those who were of Jewish descent....This is exactly whats happening in Iraq...Dont you think its strange that since the mayhem in Lebanon, there hasnt been any Bin Laden appearance stating the unision with Muslim forces??? Hmm, he is a so called Muslim Jihadist who fights in the name of God...Who fights for Islam....Who sides with his so called muslim brothers to fight the injustice of the non believers...Yup, thats Bin Laden, the hero....Bin Laden the Hero, who views Shia's as enemies of God...Bin Laden the Hero who views a Shia has no right to live or breathe....Bin Laden the Hero....The Hero of all those Hell goers!!!
As for my sister, we are hoping she would be leaving Lebanon in a few days time with an aquaintence...We have been speaking to her, but phone lines are proving to be somehow difficult... Her and her friend are keeping themselves busy by watching news...She says theres nothing else they can do...
As for my own private life...Well, what can I say??? No comment...HUBBY got pretty upset about the last few posts I have written about him...I didnt even know he checks my blog, unless he sees me writing something....Out of all the 192 posts I had written, he concentrated on the last 2...He ignored all the rest, the ones I started from the begiining about the missing, the planning, the Love...He ignored all the rest, the ones about Baghdad and our life...He ignored everything and decided to judge me on the last 2 posts...He may have the right to be upset, but....
I believe that it is my right to write about anything I want and anything that comes to mind as long as Im not harming anyone or belittling anyone...And HUBBY (incase youre reading this) if you have read my posts from day 1, you wouldnt have reacted the way you did...I find it unfair that I stop... Writing is in my veins, and this blog is the only place I have to vent out, the only freedom I have...I was brought up to be open and honest about my feelings...I was brought up to talk and do my best to solve problems that face me...If I just bottle everything up then I will definitely explode...explode and lose myself...And I will never ever lose myself again, for I did once, and it took me quite a while to have it back....
Its yet another day...Another day of howling news, another day of deaths, another day of blood....Its yet another day of cruelty, another day of injustice, another day of terrorism...In My Own Life....Its Yet another Day...Another Day of Silence...
PS: Maybe I should do a vote, Should I quit blogging???
Today another bombing in Kufa, where hundreds were lined up to find jobs....Simple labourers whose only hope is to get some small change to be able to feed their families....Simple labourers who chose to go look for jobs, instead of joining the militias or the gangs....Simple labourers who chose to do something instead of sitting useless at home...Simple labourers who believed, believed and hoped...that for once today will be different...But they were wrong...Utterly wrong...
The endless bloodshed, the endless injustice....the endless deaths...The endless wiping out of Iraqis, when will this all end???Will it ever??? In a survey by some Iraqi local firm, 80% of the casualties so far are in universities...Professors and students...Then came the health sector, were doctors have also been a main target...Bin Ladens/Zarqawists/Saddamists/Terrorists all have one goal...One goal of erradicating the once a hub for highly educated people into a zoo...A zoo not filled with animals for animals are too nice to be kept there...No a zoo for criminals, a zoo for murderers...A zoo for militias...Iraq, Ladies and gentlemen is soon becoming a major port for all terrorists...Ooops sorry I forgot, it has already become one....
This is just like Hitler and Germany...Hitler had a plan...His Nazi plan...Kill all those who werent blue eyed, blondes...Kill all those who were of Jewish descent....This is exactly whats happening in Iraq...Dont you think its strange that since the mayhem in Lebanon, there hasnt been any Bin Laden appearance stating the unision with Muslim forces??? Hmm, he is a so called Muslim Jihadist who fights in the name of God...Who fights for Islam....Who sides with his so called muslim brothers to fight the injustice of the non believers...Yup, thats Bin Laden, the hero....Bin Laden the Hero, who views Shia's as enemies of God...Bin Laden the Hero who views a Shia has no right to live or breathe....Bin Laden the Hero....The Hero of all those Hell goers!!!
As for my sister, we are hoping she would be leaving Lebanon in a few days time with an aquaintence...We have been speaking to her, but phone lines are proving to be somehow difficult... Her and her friend are keeping themselves busy by watching news...She says theres nothing else they can do...
As for my own private life...Well, what can I say??? No comment...HUBBY got pretty upset about the last few posts I have written about him...I didnt even know he checks my blog, unless he sees me writing something....Out of all the 192 posts I had written, he concentrated on the last 2...He ignored all the rest, the ones I started from the begiining about the missing, the planning, the Love...He ignored all the rest, the ones about Baghdad and our life...He ignored everything and decided to judge me on the last 2 posts...He may have the right to be upset, but....
I believe that it is my right to write about anything I want and anything that comes to mind as long as Im not harming anyone or belittling anyone...And HUBBY (incase youre reading this) if you have read my posts from day 1, you wouldnt have reacted the way you did...I find it unfair that I stop... Writing is in my veins, and this blog is the only place I have to vent out, the only freedom I have...I was brought up to be open and honest about my feelings...I was brought up to talk and do my best to solve problems that face me...If I just bottle everything up then I will definitely explode...explode and lose myself...And I will never ever lose myself again, for I did once, and it took me quite a while to have it back....
Its yet another day...Another day of howling news, another day of deaths, another day of blood....Its yet another day of cruelty, another day of injustice, another day of terrorism...In My Own Life....Its Yet another Day...Another Day of Silence...
PS: Maybe I should do a vote, Should I quit blogging???
36 Comments:
Don't quit blogging!
We all express ourselves in different ways....for some it's screaming and shouting, for some it's bottling things up until we explode, for some it's arguing about things endlessly...and for some it's writing, and this blog is your way to say whatever you want, and whatever you sometimes find hard to express in words.
Hubby maybe had a right to get upset about the last 2 posts (this whole Arab pride thing), but if anything, he should take advantage of this to discuss these issues with you, rather than be upset. And I am sure that he knows how much you love and care for him...It's probably just hard for him to understand how you feel.
Take care....and be strong :)
Please, please, please do not stop blogging. Yous is one of the only voices i know who is knows this situation first hand and speaks from the family point of view. Your voice is what the world needs now. Please do not silence it! Now i understand, somewhat, the problem with "Hubby" being one of those myself. Your hubby is important and cannot be ignored and cannot be separated from yourself. But there are ways ... maybe he could start his own blog ... maybe if he read all of your blog his love for you would grow. I don't know, i'm not a marriage counselor ... but one thing i do know ... your voice here should not be silenced.
I definately wouldn't stop blogging. As you said you have the right to write about your feelings no matter how wrong or right anyone may feel about them. As far as the rest of the world is concerned I know I check your blog everyday knowing that I can read an honest and updated perspective on what is truly going on in Iraq and the Middle East. Your blog means a lot to me and i'm sure many others in the humanity of your voice. Newspapers cannot convey the true emotion of the people living through these desperate times. In other words you give headlines emotional scope.
Your blog not only provides important information to outsiders ignorant of the situation, but also conveys the emotion with which they are occuring. Please don't stop blogging. -MB
Quite blogging? No! What you are doing here is important in more ways and to more people around the world than you probably realize.
Dear HUBBY:
Your wife obviously loves and cares for you deeply. I'm sure she would appreciate some care and love in return :)
DOn't quit blogging dear. Your posts are always so sincere and straight from the heart and you write so well. It would be a waste....
Please do not stop blogging!
While I don't actually recall when exactly I started reading your posts, it was probably shortly after August 2004. And while never commenting, I have always thoroughly enjoyed reading and lurking from the safety of my home in Tualatin, Oregon, USA.
Your writing style is captivating, refreshing in its honesty, creative, witty, and precious. Your courage and blogging while in the Green Zone kept me fascinated, yet I am both glad and sad that you and hubby have relocated. Glad for your safety and sad that your homeland continues to suffer, wrestle, and fight for true Freedom and Liberty, against those evil scum of the earth who prefer tyranny and oppression achieved through ruthless violence and terrorism.
On a side-note . . . I believe we will one day learn that the current violence in Gaza and Lebanon is related to the current surge of violence in and around Baghdad. And that Iran is financing and pulling the strings, while Syria is providing weapons, training, support, and access for terrorists to enter Iraq.
The regimes of Iran and Syria have no interest in Freedom and Liberty in Iraq, as they perceive Freedom and Liberty as an uncontrollable threat that will spread and undermine their efforts to control the region.
Maybe all this bru-ha-ha in the Middle East is one big gigantic distraction orchestrated by Iran, to buy more time for its "Peaceful" nuclear weapons development program. Let us pray that Iran never gets a nuclear weapon.
OK . . . that's it for my rant, but please do continue blogging. {8^)
i recommend you do stop blogging, for a variet of reasons.
your husband is an iraqi man, who doesnt deserve to see his life talked about on the internet.
Thats my opinion. I don't think that random strangers telling you to blog or not should help you make an opinion.
your love for your husand should be stronger than what me or anyone else thinks
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dont stop blogging. Your views and opinions together with your honesty and the way you express yourself is second to none. Especially and mainly for the fact tht you are a female. Your hubby needs to get over his self. The blogg is not about him it's about you, your feelings. Your blogg is teaching us and we are learning. Learning a bout wht life is like for you. Hubby's male ego has been bruised not because he is an Iraqi man, because he is male period.
Hubby, learn the lesson and act on them. You woman loves you and when she found it hard to connect to you she expressed herself to the only thing she felt connected to. Her blog. Just shows how much she cares. She would have loved to have told you instead you read it. Now you know how she was feeling wht are you going to do about it? TALK TO HER, RECONNECT WITH HER. Life is too short, as you well know. Stop being a jerk and get on with it. Admit it, you were a pain to be around weren't you?
Iraqii Wife:
Don't stop blogging, but ease up on your hubby.
Dwitt
You and your husband are terrific people--smart, caring, passionate, capable, industrious, hard-working, etc.
I sure have enjoyed reading your blog. You have a unique point of view on what happens in Iraq, but of course I will totally understand if you stop blogging.
I have no idea what is going on any more. My favorite solution now is for the USA simply to move all 7 million Israelis to a part of Texas and call this whole thing over. The New Israel in Teaxs would require only 3% of the land area of Texas. There are only 7 million Israelis--and we supposedly got 15 million ILLEGAL immigrants living here already. With our population hitting near 300 million, we'd hardly even notice.
I guess Hamas, Fatah, Hezbollah and everyone else can then commence (or actually continue in the case of Fatah and Hamas) a war to determine who will have the former land of Israel.
Assuming that your blog is not known by anyone you know, other than your husband...
Your blogging is your perogative, not your husbands, but you may want to try to understand better what are his issues here. Since you and your husband have anonymity here, and that is part of what allows you to be so open in your posts, you might want to make sure that HE has not told people he knows about it. Having people he knows read your posts would definitely freak out any spouse.
It could also be that he wishes that you would talk to him directly about these issues. Those discussions are like deposits in a bank account. An emotional bank account. They build trust between you that will strengthen your relationship, and certainly with all that has gone on with you two, that bank account is probably in need of all the deposits that can be made to it.
If you and hubby are not completely anonymous to anyone who would find this blog, then you should consider some major self-editing rules that you and hubby can agree on so that you're both comfortable with your blogging.
Free advice is often worth what you pay for it, but its of good intent, if nothing else.
DON'T STOP!
Hi NIW, I have been reading your blog on and off and enjoy it immensely so naturally I would not like you to stop blogging. As for your hubby what can I say ? I have the same "modeel" at home. All Iraqi men have a bit of Saddam in them so I feel your frustration sis ;) But bear with him and I am sure your patience will pay off at the end. As the Egyptians say "Ibnik 3ala matrabee o gozik 3ala mat3awidee" And I think it IS GOOD that he reads this blog because it is sometimes hard to communicate real feelings verbally. What do you have to lose ? Take care and I hope your sis comes home safely.
Your Iraqi sis in SHJ :)
HI NIW,
I have been reading your blogs from day 1 and enjoy every inch of it. You want to quit while your blog still alive, that is a big mistake.
Please do not give up the blog. I don’t think you realize how important you are to the blogosphere, or how many people regard you as a kind of icon.
Put your archives on a disc for your family. But please keep on posting new things to put in future archives.
I will beg, if it comes to that.
SSJ
Neuro-Wife, first of all, I think it's funny that the majority of the posts on this subject are from Anonymous. What's the deal on that? Go back to other posts, and you really don't have very many Anonymous commenters. I guess your readers don't want a mad Iraqi man hunting them down.
I myself would be hurt like your husband if I read what you were writing about me and our relationship. If I truly loved you, however, I would get over it. I'd use your words as motivation. Blogging is therapeutic for me. I like that people comment on my blog. It helps me as it does you. So don't stop.
NIW,
Why on earth you'd quit blogging? That's not fair for us or you.
I am using Anonymous, but as an American, I rely on your voice to give me insight into your reality. Our prime time news rarley mentions IRAQ anymore. Since your reality is both personal with your husband and with your love of Iraq, the end story is that it is about love. You love both and it seems that at times you are frustrated by both. No matter what I write cannot help you to deal with your family and I realize that you combine the two. I am sure some of your frustration with him is related to our (USA) to get IRAQ into an ideal mode that everyone hoped for and something he hoped for. He has similar loves, but to spend so much effort to make that happen and have it go nowhere can be very depressing. This makes you and your husband human, this makes your life and family real to you. I read your posts and worry about your family, but my true motivation is to hear about the impact as an American has had on your life. Many Americans feel good will towards the Iraqi people and just hope that things would come out alright. We have spent over 460 billion dollars for this, but we fear that less that $1 billion was spent in the right way to help the Iraq people. You give us insight. You make me feel human as I have been working away from my wife for two years with only one visit a month. I feel your tears, frustrations, and your husbands as well.
I agree with all the commentors, who encourage you to continue writing this blog, for ALL the reasons they mentioned.
At a more personal level, your Hubby's reaction is normal and what the majority of your readers would expect. But, if he wasn't experiencing a degree of frustration and discouragement at the present situation in Iraq, after all the time, hard work, sweat, and effort he put into it, he would have to be a heartless robot.
You've made it very clear that your Hubby is very intelligent, dedicated, hard working, and has a big heart for the suffering of his nation and countrymen. You've also made it clear that you love your Hubby with all your heart and you are concerned for his happiness. The thing about love is it always expects the best. But, you and Hubby are only human and you're not always going to be at your best, especially when things outside your control have crushed your hope and dreams for your country (at least, temporarily).
Hubby needs sufficient time to evaluate the current situation, including all his options, and define his direction. I think you're being a bit unrealistic to expect that process to happen so quickly. But, love does that - always expecting the very best. By the same token, Hubby is expecting your best - your understanding, love, and compassion for him at a major crossroad in his life.
When things we've worked hard for don't go the way we planned, we all tend to get a big lower lip and think, "But, what about ME?" That doesn't really lead anywhere. It's when we put God first and pray for His direction that our lives move forward. I believe we have to get happy right where we're at and have a good attitude despite our circumstances, before we get to move on. I know that's far easier said than done. But, the fact that you're both still alive and intact after living and working in a war zone is cause for nonstop rejoicing!
Hello,
My opinion is this: If your husband has legitimate concerns about some of your entries, I would hope that you work that out with your husband, but I would urge that you do not stop blogging all together.
While you feel your husband would have felt differently if had the historical context of your blog, it would appear he doesn't think it matters, and for all I know, he might have a number of points which you should seriously consider.
Maybe you should consider delaying submitting your posts and give it a little time and thought before posting them on your blog. While this may sound like self-censoring, I find that forcing oneself to take the time consider potentially objectional material trains you to better articulate your position because you're seriously anticipating what's going to be objected.
The world needs people like yourself to give faceless countries and societies a real person with whom they can relate. When people read your blog, they can see themselves in you. In the end, that has the most profound impact in bridging societies and hopefully bringing about some sort of peace.
I wish you and your family all the best.
Steve
I only recently started reading your blog, but the name neurotic wife attracted me immediately. So I'm not the only one after all! Married life can drive you crazy! Keep blogging, your opinion is important. People all over the world face similar struggles in their married life. It's not always a bed of roses, even in the relative peace of the US. Something I decided early on in my marraige in regard to letters or now e-mail, any letter coming to the house can be read by him if he wants to, as I have nothing(hopefully) to hide. And I try to be considerate of how he might feel if he found out what I was writing about him, that way I tend to excercise some restraint in what I have to say. Be honest but be considerate. Keep Blogging and let HUBBY read the blog any time he wants. That way he won't think you are hiding anything from him. Hopefully he's a reasonable man in the end. That way if a stranger becomes a friend you all know what was said between you.
jdesuBlog On!
My husband gets upset that I vent my frustrations (about family matters) on the phone to my mother 1,000 miles away. Should I stop calling my mother?
Should I stop calling my mother?
With complaints about your husband???? YES!
You complain about the “politicians”…
You on one hand complain about the “terrorists” in your (the Iraqi) midst, then on the other suggest that the Hezbollah (and may I infer Hamas) be treated differently… (Please remember that the Hezbollah are actively training, arming and collaborating with the terrorists in your midst (Iraq).
Could you provide at a reasonably detailed level what exactly the “politicians” in Iraq should do to alleviate the terrorist issues in Iraq?
Should they return to the Saddam era when all was well and no one was leaving Iraq (unless of course they could sneak out) and the Shiites, Sunnis, Christians and Jews all lived in peace, harmony and happiness? Since Kurds, Turks and Marsh Arabs are not religions, but rather ethnicities I am not sure how to weave them into the question. Are you also insinuating that they lived in peace, harmony and happiness as well? Or in their case would you concede that the peace, harmony and happiness meme is an outright mischaracterization of the Saddam situation…
Maybe your interest is in returning to a pre-Saddam glory time? Rule by the British? Something between the British and Saddam? Pre-British involvement? I have been doing some research and no matter how hard I try I can’t find what situation you are referring to?
If not to a previous history in Iraq, possibly you have an answer for a future paradigm? E.g. should the “politicians” negotiate a peace with the Islamo-Nazis (often called fascist, however the variety of Islamo-fascism is not like the fascism of Spain or Italy in the early 20th century, but is more closely modeled after the Nazi party of Germany).
Or, will your solution be based in CRUSHING the evil that Islamo-Nazis represent?
If CRUSHING is the answer, then when the Islamo-Nazis not only hide behind innocent citizens, but hold them hostage to hide behind them, how will they be crushed? Should the “politicians” make the no-win choice of go forward with the annihilation of these animals? Or go back to the negotiated peace. Which I would contend is not possible… Terrorists/animals do not negotiate peace; they negotiate the relief of pressure and demonstration of your weakness. If we use your perspective on Israel and Hezbollah, I would suspect your position is that the “politicians” negotiate a solution.
Please save your Iraq and the world by providing us with your insight regarding a solution to these problems… Maybe we should all move to UAE and like your friend, put on our tightest fitting clothes and experience FREEDOM. If this is your solution, where will you move next when the “politicians” in the UAE must negotiate a peace with the Islamo-Nazis because the “politicians” gave up the fight because of the hardship on innocent women and children and allowed the expansion of these animals throughout Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Indonesia, etc., etc. etc.? Or are you secure with the thought that if these areas are “sacrificed” the UAE and beyond will be left alone in peace?
Ultimately, in a democracy, people are allowed (whether this is good or bad for society is debatable), and in fact encouraged to publish the dirty details of daily life. We in America see murder after murder over absolutely nothing on our evening news. This is not the life I know, but I know that this is the experience of thousands of my “brothers” daily. In a dictatorship, the deaths and killings are secret, except where made public in a way to support the regime. In a democracy the opposite seems to be true. The dirty secrets are spun to harm the regime…
We look forward to your detailed solution for Iraq, Lebanon (Iran? Syria? Israel?) and beyond. (Also, for all you reactionary USA/Israeli haters, maybe you can help with your solution. I am sure NIW would be happy to hear your ideas to provide freedom to the peoples currently under direct and indirect attack by the Islamo-Nazis…)
Please keep writing. You give us all insight we wouldn't otherwise have. Thanks...and take care of yourself.
Hey, everything K?
I think the Anonymous who said...
"You complain about the “politicians”…"
Was drunk.
and forgot to take his/her pills.
NIW
pls do not quit blogging, I will beg if you want me to. You are giving us a glimpse of Iraq and its situation we can not get elswhere.
I do hope your husband reads your entire blog and realizes that you have painted a beautiful portrait of him. Why, I'm half in love with him myself ;)
You are such a cherished presence in the blogosphere and it would feel almost like the death of a family member, if you stopped writing.
Please don't.
Hubby needs to get out of bed , off the couch , take you out for a walk or to visit friends... maybe then he wouldnt mind nor feel ashamed of you writing about his activities , or rather unactivities... please dont stop blogging. Instead , hubby , you should start blogging !
God bless you both ! Lamoos
men tend to be irrational like that. I found your blog and have never stopped coming to yours and other iraqi blogs...because here is where we get the truth about wht is truly going on.
The news doesnt carry any emotions from you and others' blogs, we can tap into what is truly going on. I think we tend to forget sometimes that the people in Iraq...lebanon...people not in America are like us...they feel as we do...they think sometimes as we do...
DONT STOP blogging...
Please do not stop blogging. I love how honest and sincere your blog is. Plus i like getting an Iraqi perspective on the war..
Have you stopped? Nothing for a number of days. We love your honesty and clarity of thought and hope you find the courage to keep on blogging though I agree that your husband's wishes are important. I just hope you arrive at a compromise over this. We all find these wars abhorrent and pray for the safety of your loved ones and a restoration of some form of peace.
if you quit blogging, I won't have much to read....
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