neurotic Iraqi wife
January 30, 2008
The Lucky Dice...
Part 2
Dec 20 – Jan 6
They say home is where the heart is. Yes, definitely Abu dhabi is my home, there is no doubt about that. My heart is always with my parents, my siblings, and ofcourse HUBBY. It really was good to just relax and switch off. And switch off I did. Even though I’d check my work email from time to time, but there was no yearning nor that weird sense of missing that I used to feel before.
We also managed to attend two weddings. I usually decline all sort of invitations due to the constant feelings of guilt. But this time I said to hell with it. I cant lock myself up anymore. It aint doing any good to me, nor is it doing any good to anyone. It was also the first time HUBBY and I go to a social gathering together as a married couple which was fun cuz almost 4 years of marriage later, we still had people coming over and congratulating us. I also came to realize when youre stuck in the GZ prison for a substantial amount of time, you become devoid of all the social skills you came to master in adulthood. Except for one topic, yup, Iraq. In every Iraqi gathering, be it a party, a meeting, even a funeral, we Iraqis can never have enough of the political BS talk. And BS we did...
No trip is without a hair glitch ofcourse. My hair needed a lot of care and attention. Without going into the boring details, all I need to say is, in three days, I went from the light brown hair I was, to the darkest brown with yucky bright yellow blonde highlights, to black with grey tint (YUP), to what it is now. And believe me it was not a fun experience. If you were an avid reader, you’d know how important my hair is to me. Infact anyone who knows me personally, from family and friends would know what a big deal I make about it. Apart from the colour, the cut was just another horror story. You know how in the Simpsons, when Homer looks at food and says something like “Mmmmmmmmmmm, FOOOOOOOOD”??? Well I guess when the hairdresser saw MY hair he probably had the same reaction “Mmmmmmmmmmmm Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairrrr” and the cruel scissors gobbled away my long long locks!!!
During my stay in AD, I believed it was high time to visit an ENT Dr. after the daily nose bleeds Ive been experiencing for the past 7 months. And I tell you, sticking an endoscope into one’s nostrils was no fun experience. I was also asked to have a CTScan so the Dr can be sure of his prognosis. An operation was necessary but I opted out. I decided that any major stuff can wait till after I leave Baghdad. Instead I was put on medication. The nose bleeds have diminished, thank god for that. I still get them, but not on a daily basis.
I guess when youre having so much fun, time passes real fast. I extended my vacation to a few extra days so I can spend more time with my family. My marriage also seemed to have benefited from that. I guess it took us almost four years to get used to each other’s ways without the critical lenses we used on each other at the beginning. Maybe its age, maybe its experiences, I don’t know, but I certainly have become more relaxed. Relaxed and content. And for ME to be content is a miracle to say the least. A few days before I leave, HUBBY looked at me with bewilderment and said “Shit Neurotica, we didn’t argue at all this trip!!!You didn’t nag, you didn’t complain, you probably pouted only twice or three times and that’s because of your hair saga. You are more affectionate, more caring, Im shocked!!!, no, shocked is an understatement ” I just smiled, cuz I too was shocked!!!
Yup, the nagging and bitching stopped. I no more complain about the dozen empty coke cans scattered all over the house. Nor the shoes or clothes that are thrown about. I even surprised myself when the dryer tore one of my favourate jeans and my reaction was just a mere shrug…Im still critical though, mostly of myself but to a far lesser extent. Maybe the 33 is a magical number afterall, who knows…
Saying goodbye to family and HUBBY was very difficult this time. I hate goodbyes, and I hate leaving everyone I care for behind. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to the prison at all. Infact, time and time again thoughts of quitting was always dominating my mind.
Jan 7 – Present
Coming back wasn’t fun. Again RJ flights were getting cancelled etc. but thankfully I did make it without any drastic drawbacks. The first Friday I was here it snowed. I didn’t witness it because I was famished for sleep, but I did see the few white flakes that remained on the ground. As for work, well its back to the same monotonous unchallenging job. How I wake up to face yet another boring day is just beyond me. The only thing I look forward to is my chats with HUBBY and playing backgammon. I also discovered some herbal vitamins on drugstore.com that I decided to give a try. Im so against these things, but I came to realize that at my age, I should be far more active, far more energetic. And to be honest, these are really good. Kinda uplifted my spirits as well.
As for the blog, I decided to post something everyday. Kinda like a diary of whats happened at work, certain political views or my life in general. Not that its gonna be interesting, but I feel, in a few years time, when I’ve put my little girls to sleep (Yup I want girls) I would sit, read my words and smile. Smile and remember. Remember this weird phase of my life. It will also give you an idea about some of the characters I work with and events that take place in this prison, taking into consideration opsec details ofcourse. So Im gonna start as of today.
Today
Its an awfully quiet and slow day. That’s how it is over here. You get days where you cant even scratch your head because of the time constraints and the amount of reports requested, then you get an extremely slow phase. It’s a cycle I guess. Everyone seemed bored out of their wits which made me feel abit better. My friend V who is in NYC right now enjoying her vacation called me up to tell me all about the healthy stuff she put herself through, or shall I say all the healthy torture??? V is a health freak!!! From cleaning her colon…YUCK…to peeling her face. I didn’t tell her about my vitamin intake, but Im sure she will be very proud!!!
The Col came back a few days ago and the nervous hype of his comeback has fizzled down now that all the people he didn’t really get along with were moved to different positions in the other part of the complex. He seems to have had a good time on his vacation, which is a great relief to all. Atleast there isn’t much of the cursing and the name calling going around. Thank God for that. I am extremely shocked though to find out that there’s someone around here who has been ratting people. He did it to me, and now it seems he’s done it to someone else I know. In normal circumstance I wouldn’t be that surprised nor would I have cared much cuz Im very confident of the work I do and deliver. But the shocker is the person in question himself. I don’t know what happened to him lately. He has become a complete stranger to me and others, and that’s sad. Very sad…
Anyways, its time to leave and go to my room. Im gonna try and beat HUBBY at backgammon on skype. The games became extremely interesting as of late. A few rules were added which I wont disclose here, hehe…Yesterday the dice was on his side, and I paid a heavy price, hopefully, today I’ll have the better hand of Dice…The Lucky Dice…
Dec 20 – Jan 6
They say home is where the heart is. Yes, definitely Abu dhabi is my home, there is no doubt about that. My heart is always with my parents, my siblings, and ofcourse HUBBY. It really was good to just relax and switch off. And switch off I did. Even though I’d check my work email from time to time, but there was no yearning nor that weird sense of missing that I used to feel before.
We also managed to attend two weddings. I usually decline all sort of invitations due to the constant feelings of guilt. But this time I said to hell with it. I cant lock myself up anymore. It aint doing any good to me, nor is it doing any good to anyone. It was also the first time HUBBY and I go to a social gathering together as a married couple which was fun cuz almost 4 years of marriage later, we still had people coming over and congratulating us. I also came to realize when youre stuck in the GZ prison for a substantial amount of time, you become devoid of all the social skills you came to master in adulthood. Except for one topic, yup, Iraq. In every Iraqi gathering, be it a party, a meeting, even a funeral, we Iraqis can never have enough of the political BS talk. And BS we did...
No trip is without a hair glitch ofcourse. My hair needed a lot of care and attention. Without going into the boring details, all I need to say is, in three days, I went from the light brown hair I was, to the darkest brown with yucky bright yellow blonde highlights, to black with grey tint (YUP), to what it is now. And believe me it was not a fun experience. If you were an avid reader, you’d know how important my hair is to me. Infact anyone who knows me personally, from family and friends would know what a big deal I make about it. Apart from the colour, the cut was just another horror story. You know how in the Simpsons, when Homer looks at food and says something like “Mmmmmmmmmmm, FOOOOOOOOD”??? Well I guess when the hairdresser saw MY hair he probably had the same reaction “Mmmmmmmmmmmm Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairrrr” and the cruel scissors gobbled away my long long locks!!!
During my stay in AD, I believed it was high time to visit an ENT Dr. after the daily nose bleeds Ive been experiencing for the past 7 months. And I tell you, sticking an endoscope into one’s nostrils was no fun experience. I was also asked to have a CTScan so the Dr can be sure of his prognosis. An operation was necessary but I opted out. I decided that any major stuff can wait till after I leave Baghdad. Instead I was put on medication. The nose bleeds have diminished, thank god for that. I still get them, but not on a daily basis.
I guess when youre having so much fun, time passes real fast. I extended my vacation to a few extra days so I can spend more time with my family. My marriage also seemed to have benefited from that. I guess it took us almost four years to get used to each other’s ways without the critical lenses we used on each other at the beginning. Maybe its age, maybe its experiences, I don’t know, but I certainly have become more relaxed. Relaxed and content. And for ME to be content is a miracle to say the least. A few days before I leave, HUBBY looked at me with bewilderment and said “Shit Neurotica, we didn’t argue at all this trip!!!You didn’t nag, you didn’t complain, you probably pouted only twice or three times and that’s because of your hair saga. You are more affectionate, more caring, Im shocked!!!, no, shocked is an understatement ” I just smiled, cuz I too was shocked!!!
Yup, the nagging and bitching stopped. I no more complain about the dozen empty coke cans scattered all over the house. Nor the shoes or clothes that are thrown about. I even surprised myself when the dryer tore one of my favourate jeans and my reaction was just a mere shrug…Im still critical though, mostly of myself but to a far lesser extent. Maybe the 33 is a magical number afterall, who knows…
Saying goodbye to family and HUBBY was very difficult this time. I hate goodbyes, and I hate leaving everyone I care for behind. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to the prison at all. Infact, time and time again thoughts of quitting was always dominating my mind.
Jan 7 – Present
Coming back wasn’t fun. Again RJ flights were getting cancelled etc. but thankfully I did make it without any drastic drawbacks. The first Friday I was here it snowed. I didn’t witness it because I was famished for sleep, but I did see the few white flakes that remained on the ground. As for work, well its back to the same monotonous unchallenging job. How I wake up to face yet another boring day is just beyond me. The only thing I look forward to is my chats with HUBBY and playing backgammon. I also discovered some herbal vitamins on drugstore.com that I decided to give a try. Im so against these things, but I came to realize that at my age, I should be far more active, far more energetic. And to be honest, these are really good. Kinda uplifted my spirits as well.
As for the blog, I decided to post something everyday. Kinda like a diary of whats happened at work, certain political views or my life in general. Not that its gonna be interesting, but I feel, in a few years time, when I’ve put my little girls to sleep (Yup I want girls) I would sit, read my words and smile. Smile and remember. Remember this weird phase of my life. It will also give you an idea about some of the characters I work with and events that take place in this prison, taking into consideration opsec details ofcourse. So Im gonna start as of today.
Today
Its an awfully quiet and slow day. That’s how it is over here. You get days where you cant even scratch your head because of the time constraints and the amount of reports requested, then you get an extremely slow phase. It’s a cycle I guess. Everyone seemed bored out of their wits which made me feel abit better. My friend V who is in NYC right now enjoying her vacation called me up to tell me all about the healthy stuff she put herself through, or shall I say all the healthy torture??? V is a health freak!!! From cleaning her colon…YUCK…to peeling her face. I didn’t tell her about my vitamin intake, but Im sure she will be very proud!!!
The Col came back a few days ago and the nervous hype of his comeback has fizzled down now that all the people he didn’t really get along with were moved to different positions in the other part of the complex. He seems to have had a good time on his vacation, which is a great relief to all. Atleast there isn’t much of the cursing and the name calling going around. Thank God for that. I am extremely shocked though to find out that there’s someone around here who has been ratting people. He did it to me, and now it seems he’s done it to someone else I know. In normal circumstance I wouldn’t be that surprised nor would I have cared much cuz Im very confident of the work I do and deliver. But the shocker is the person in question himself. I don’t know what happened to him lately. He has become a complete stranger to me and others, and that’s sad. Very sad…
Anyways, its time to leave and go to my room. Im gonna try and beat HUBBY at backgammon on skype. The games became extremely interesting as of late. A few rules were added which I wont disclose here, hehe…Yesterday the dice was on his side, and I paid a heavy price, hopefully, today I’ll have the better hand of Dice…The Lucky Dice…
10 Comments:
The only thing I look forward to is my chats with HUBBY and playing backgammon. I also discovered some herbal vitamins on drugstore.com that I decided to give a try. - ...waif.
Drugwhore.com won't help You love You. You will be on your way to being a vampire like the rest of Them before you know it. I've noticed that people enjoy making noise and watching Others reactions with commentary in ritual precision with whatever makes Them farther away from the Earth planet. Actually if God or Col.? doesn't smite every last one of these excuse driven sponges I'm giving my honest, good life back to the dirt cycle I hold so dear...It's like the National Flag is Commercial Homophobia and Closet space reduction based on decreasing necessity and a greater need to make up lies for Health inclined(Hellth!)Breast milk weening. The race labeled Human...Including Milk addiction just add asbestos...
HELLO NEUROTICA;LUV;I RECALL ALL TOO WELL "THE CLUB"(THE BRITISH OFFICER´S ENGLISH CLUB"FROM THE 60s
WE HAD MANY A LOVELY BEER DRINKING ALL OUT INEBRIATED SLOSHED SESSION AT THE BAR & JOLLY TASTY STEAKS & ROAST BEEF-PORK &BRUSSELSPROUTS ON OUR SUNDAY MENU? TRIFLE & PUDDINGS & SEMI-SAINSBURY´S SPINNEY´S "CHOC-ICE-ICE CREAM -:)HHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM-:)THE LATE MR:DEREK PAGE HAD BEEN CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS RUNNING THE PLACE & HAD THE LATE SHEIK ZAAYID´S GREAT CONFIDENCE AS HE HAD ALSO BEEN THE GENERAL MANAGER OF THE BRITISH BANK OF THE MIDDLE EAST AT THE TIME ;NOW PART OF HSBC & THE LATE MR.ALEXANDER A LOVELY GREAT SCOT´SMAN HAD BEEN THE GENERAL MANAGER RUNNING THE CLUB DAILY & GREAT FRIENDS OF A LATE VERY WELL TO DO; CAMBRIDGE ENGINEER GRADUATE A MR.ZAYYAAD-AL-ASKARI WHO ALSO FREQUENTED OUR BRITISH OFFICER´S CLUB FOR A BEER OR TWO A SALAD & A STEAK;THOSE WERE THE DAYS WHEN I & MY SENIOR MAJOR WISE & DARLING PAULA USED TO MEET AT THE CLUB & DRIVING ALONG THE EAST CORNEESH RD. MEANT YOU HAD TO DRIVE OVER A GRAVELLY SANDY ROAD AS OPPOSED TO THE LOVELY PAVED TARMAC OF TODAY´S ABUDHABI & SHEIK HAMDAN & SHEIK ZAAYYID´S STREETS & ROADS LEADING TO AL-BUTTEEN HAD ALSO BEEN NOTHING BUT SANDY TRACKS AT THE TIME??!!! WE HAD TO BUILD THE "A.D.D:F."FROM BASE UP HHHHMMMM:)YES NEUROTICA ABU-DHABI IS WELL & FULLY ON IT´S WAY TO BEING COMPLETELY CONSTRUCTED SINCE THE GOOD OLD DAY & ALL THE LOVELY TIMES WE HAD GOOD O´L SWEET TIMES THAT HAD BEEN HHHHMMM MAYBE IF I STROLL ALONG THE BEACH STRECH AT THE "CLUB" I MAY YET COME ACCROSS LONG LOST SOULS OF THE SIXTIES & EARLY SEVENTIES??LOVELY READING YOUR PERSONAL EXPS. & THE JOURNEY BACK DARLING ALL THE BEST YOUR FRIENDS HERE AROUND THE GLOBE"WWW.bfbs.com"OLAFF CHEERS LUV (WHAT´S ALL THAT ABOUT YOUR HAIR & THE TORN JEANS?????!!!!!)
NIW,
You really needed that break and the time you had with your family! Despite the hair saga, it sounds like the time was very beneficial for you. Congratulations on discovering (at a younger age than I did) you can relax, not "bitch" about basically petty things, and actually be more content overall. One way to approach situations when you get the gut feeling to be offended, is to instead focus on not causing offense to others. It seems to diminish the original offense, and help to put things into a better perspective. Since we do eventually reap what we sow, you can never go wrong by sowing extraordinary kindness, patience, and mercy. I realize this is difficult when you really feel like slapping or shaking some sense into the person! But, there's no long term satisfaction in that attitude - just more of the same frustration.
I am sorry to hear your job is boring and you and Hubby are not able to live together on a daily basis in Iraq. Stimulation and challenge at your work place is important. Hugs from your partner in life are important everyday. Is there a goal you and Hubby want to reach in Iraq, before moving on to the next phase of your lives? If I was in your situation, staying out of depression would be tough, unless I had a point in the not too distant future when I knew my job and living conditions would change for the better.
Kind Regards,
Bamboo
NIW,
So what's next for you after Baghdad? Whatever you decide, I hope it fills your heart and mind. Children are great for that ;) I'm sure you got plenty of those comments from family!
Always,
Melanie
Hey Olaff, u talking abt the British club???If you are, wowwww, we used to be members in that place long long time ago when I was still a kid!!!AD has changed drastically, but I still love it as long as it doesnt reach Dubai's hectic state!!!
Bamboo, well Im really a happy person, but I guess with past experiences, you tend to become more cautious of people. Many put me down, and you know, I dont have the energy to sit and analyze anymore. I just say to hell with them. Not only that, but I think with age, we also become so set in our ways, and for me personally, I used to live in chaos, now, I seek perfection. As for a goal, I guess, Im waiting for HUBBY to complete the project he is working on, so we can live our lives. Thats his goal right now...
Oh yes Melanie, kids, thats exactly what we are thinking of. It will be the first thing we do when we leave here. And honestly, I just cant wait ;-)
NIW,
Rather than perfection, I think what you mean is that you're seeking excellence. I used to be a perfectionist in everything, and I thought that was a good thing, until I found out it's actually a personality disorder. I'm much happier now that I realize life can be really great, without feeling the need to achieve perfection on a daily basis. In fact, it's much better.
The concept of excellence is partially subjective. Each person has a slightly different definition. Make your own rules and strive for excellence as a person, and in what you do. That is achievable (perfection is not attainable) and far more rewarding.
I hope Hubby's goal is realized soon, and you can start your family in a safe place. Although children are a blessing at any age, they take a lot of energy. I hope Hubby doesn't use all of his up in Iraq!
Kind Regards,
Bamboo
Well, Bamboo, you may be right. But it was perfection I was after initially. Then I realized, that no matter how "perfect" you want things to be, it can never be enough. So yes, maybe excellence is the right word here..I do agree. And it is a disorder, a bad one too,lol...Ask me about it...
As for kids, we're not getting any younger, so yessssssss, I too like you, hope that HUBBY hasnt used up all his energy here ;-)
you know, I dont have the energy to sit and analyze anymore. I just say to hell with them.
Man, cliche city. I can't follow your advice. I did when I was younger. The compound you live in... You need to leave fictitious Hell and lead a lifestyle that is less self deprecating. You should admit there is no such thing as competition. Your inward feelings are for you and you are alone in their conception. Display your emotions effectively as to limit animosity. Your nadir suicidal nature sounds like nadir homicidal so you are an efficient nadir murderer. Just 2 Girls??? You could nadir guilt, confuse then outwardly forgive multiple nadir suspects in comparable Birthday Cake requiem...And still maintain Muslim girl Hell which is the only perfect place other then Hoodoo enthralled Black Klansmen from a dissolved Gulfatory gone transient plus Haywire if I could reflect on your oh so troubled hair combat with the breath of many Oceans beating at your piggies smoking doors. blah blah blah, Satan! and the Internet robots will talk back...yeah right...
HELLO NEUROTICA LUV LOL;-:)YES IT IS THE BRITISH-ENGLISH-CLUB"-WHERE (:MAJOR WISE & CO. ASSISTING TO BUILD THE THEN NON-EXISTANT ABU-DHABI-DEFENCE-FORCES":-A:D:D:F:")PAULA;& MYSELF USED TO SPEND MANY A JOLLY TIME AT THE BAR OR THE MESS & THERE HAD BEEN A WEEKLY FILM AT THE CLUB CINEMA ON OFFER THEN? A 60s PRODUCTION :)!!IF YOU LIKE THE WEB PAGE OF THE BRITISH -ENGLISH-CLUB IS"WWW.theclub.ae" ABU-DHABI I BELIEVE THE MANAGER IS A FINE BLOKE CALLED MIKE . THE CLUB IN ABU-DHABI IS SLIGHTLY AKIN TO THE ALWIYAH CLUB OF THE 30s & 40s-50s&60s IN BAGHDAD WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE ALWIYAH CLUB IS IT AT ALL STILL STANDING & INCORPERATING THE SWIMMING POOLS -BILLIARDS ROOM & LIBRARY & CINEMA ??ALL THE BEST NEUROTICA LUV & DO TELL ME IF YOU LIKE DATE PUDDING VERY HEAVY "H7ALLAWAT TAMMUR" www.bfbs.com"KINDEST REGARDS OLAFF
Oh my god, there's so much effective information above!
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