neurotic Iraqi wife
March 18, 2005
Reality of All My Aspirations.....
What a day yesterday was. I was sitting surfing the net when I get a phonecall from one of HUBBY's relatives who lives here. She seemed very excited and asked the where abouts of HUBBY. We havent really told his relatives that he works in Baghdad since we didnt want to jeopardise his safety and so I was reluctant in answering her. Then she said"I need to talk to him urgently, there's a job opening in the company and they want HIM to take it" OMG. I couldnt believe my ears, HUBBY is finally coming here. Yaaaaaaaaaay. So I gave her his number and waited for his phonecall.
Half an hour later, HUBBY calls and tells me "They're gonna call you from Baghdad, you got a JOB here". SAY WHAT???? I said who's gonna call me??? and what the hell are you on about??? He said they saw your CV and since you are into finance, they wanna make you an offer!!! OMG, this aint happening. I asked but what about your relative??? Did she talk to you? HUBBY said "yes she did but there's nothing for sure, you know how she is, she keeps saying there's a job opening and we dont hear anything from her later" I just didnt know what to say. I asked about the job in Baghdad, and why he never mentioned to me that he gave my CV in. He simply said didnt wanna put your hopes high until I know for sure you will be accepted. OMG.
I sat there staring at the screen.Im finally going to Baghdad, Im finally gonna be with HUBBY, Im finally gonna be part of this rebuilding process, but then the balloon of excitement just fizzled down when I realised that there's my parents to break the news to. The phone rings yet again, and this time its the HR person in Baghdad. Thats when it hit me, HUBBY wasnt joking. She asked about the citizenship I hold and what sort of salary Im looking at. Then she said that I might need to go to Wshington to undergo health checks and security clearance inorder to get the paperwork. I kept nodding my head as if she is gonna see me through my mobile. At the end of the conversation she said "Please, at any time you feel nervous, and you dont think you are ready for this, please call me or drop me an email, I will understand" She continued "Its not a joke being here, its extremely dangerous" I gulped, not from fear but from the sudden adrelanin rush I got.
Now the task of explaining to my parents that I got my dream job is gonna be real difficult. I know for sure that my mom is gonna freak out and give me hell. As for my dad, well, I need to approach him with the utter most calm and practicality. Wish me luck, for today I truely need it. Its gonna be a long fight, a really long one and am sure that my tears will be accompanying me cuz me going to Iraq is a lost cause with my family. I still dont understand the mechanisms of why should I still take permission from my parents to do anything since Im married now and I have hit the big 30. I mean, I know they fear for me, I know they love me and care for me, but this is the chance that I have been waiting for, this is my chance to help my country.
They know how much this means to me, they know how hard I have been trying to look for a job there. They shouldnt stand against my dreams. Im really dreading today, Im dreading the conversation, Im dreading the confrontation, and most of all Im dreading the outcome. If they say No, which Im sure they will, Im gonna be devastated, and Ill fall back into my depression yet again. Darn.......
These are the major developments, any suggestions on how to approach them??? Is the dream gonna continue??? Or is it gonna be reality, the Reality of All My Aspirations........
Half an hour later, HUBBY calls and tells me "They're gonna call you from Baghdad, you got a JOB here". SAY WHAT???? I said who's gonna call me??? and what the hell are you on about??? He said they saw your CV and since you are into finance, they wanna make you an offer!!! OMG, this aint happening. I asked but what about your relative??? Did she talk to you? HUBBY said "yes she did but there's nothing for sure, you know how she is, she keeps saying there's a job opening and we dont hear anything from her later" I just didnt know what to say. I asked about the job in Baghdad, and why he never mentioned to me that he gave my CV in. He simply said didnt wanna put your hopes high until I know for sure you will be accepted. OMG.
I sat there staring at the screen.Im finally going to Baghdad, Im finally gonna be with HUBBY, Im finally gonna be part of this rebuilding process, but then the balloon of excitement just fizzled down when I realised that there's my parents to break the news to. The phone rings yet again, and this time its the HR person in Baghdad. Thats when it hit me, HUBBY wasnt joking. She asked about the citizenship I hold and what sort of salary Im looking at. Then she said that I might need to go to Wshington to undergo health checks and security clearance inorder to get the paperwork. I kept nodding my head as if she is gonna see me through my mobile. At the end of the conversation she said "Please, at any time you feel nervous, and you dont think you are ready for this, please call me or drop me an email, I will understand" She continued "Its not a joke being here, its extremely dangerous" I gulped, not from fear but from the sudden adrelanin rush I got.
Now the task of explaining to my parents that I got my dream job is gonna be real difficult. I know for sure that my mom is gonna freak out and give me hell. As for my dad, well, I need to approach him with the utter most calm and practicality. Wish me luck, for today I truely need it. Its gonna be a long fight, a really long one and am sure that my tears will be accompanying me cuz me going to Iraq is a lost cause with my family. I still dont understand the mechanisms of why should I still take permission from my parents to do anything since Im married now and I have hit the big 30. I mean, I know they fear for me, I know they love me and care for me, but this is the chance that I have been waiting for, this is my chance to help my country.
They know how much this means to me, they know how hard I have been trying to look for a job there. They shouldnt stand against my dreams. Im really dreading today, Im dreading the conversation, Im dreading the confrontation, and most of all Im dreading the outcome. If they say No, which Im sure they will, Im gonna be devastated, and Ill fall back into my depression yet again. Darn.......
These are the major developments, any suggestions on how to approach them??? Is the dream gonna continue??? Or is it gonna be reality, the Reality of All My Aspirations........
13 Comments:
Hello hope all is fine. I ama simple neurotic with no husband. My family thoight I was nuts doing blog and after they found out about my blog they were sure I am.I somehow have sympathy for you. My blog is royaparsay.blogspot.com
I am hoping our turn comes to free Iran and we be able to vote without a mandatory veil. Please talk about Iranian women cause too since we are tired of forced,mandatory hijab. We cant have such blog as you do , I live in US and that is why I can talk.Tell me more about why women still wear hijab who are they? real neurotics? Love Roya
Good luck, and best wishes. I admire you for your decision.
Remind the folks that you can keep in touch via e-mail or even i-mail. If they're not internet savvy, be sure to get 'em up to speed before you depart so they can share the day-by-day adventures of their little girl in her brave new world.
Sissy Willis
sisu
Dear NIQ,
I hope you go for it. Your husband needs you; you need your husband; Iraq needs young committed people to build a democracy. And how often do you have a chance to take on your dream job? And a trip to Washington. Think how many people would love to be in your exciting shoes. So, you go for it.
As regards your parental units, well I think you have to give them the Worf Destiny speech from Star Trek. "If it is my time to die, I will surely die. There is no escape. No where to hide. Death tears at me in its hands. Today is a good day to die."
Okay I made that part up. But the thing is when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. You could be outside of your present location and get hit by a drunk driver or suffer an aneurysm and fall down your steps. There's no escaping whatever your destiny
is, no matter what the location, so Iraq could just as well be
Greenland.
All I can say is good luck with the parents issue, u'd have to be really lucky to get out of that ok. I mean I had a job where i had a really faint chance of going to baghdad and u should see the reaction i got (mainly mother-wise) and this was before things totally screwed up there.
Well, I'm both proud and frightened for you at the same time. I'm also very envious... what a wonderful purpose in life. To give time to such a noble cause.
Please be safe. I hope that we will hear from you while there.
boyintheworld
Congratulations on getting a job offer! It is always nice to feel needed and wanted.
Only you can weigh the risks versus rewards of moving to Baghdad.
You can always try it and see what it is like.
Original-Jeff
All Canada wishes you good luck!
Keep in touch with your admirers.
NIW 0_0 !
WOW! Congratulations!
How very exciting for you. :)
I agree with many of your other posters, you need to be with your husband. I feel that If he felt you would not be relatively safe, he would not encourage you to go. I think this is an amazing thing to do.
Do hope it goes well with your parents, although I understand they will have more than the average anxieties about this.
OMG! I'm dying to hear how it went with your parents. I know that my mother tended to treat me as a child for a long time even into adulthood and the only thing that stopped it was putting my foot down with her.
I realize that may not be possible but I agree with another poster who advised going to them and telling them that your duty is to your husband now and he wants you by his side.
When push comes to shove it is up to you and your husband. I'm hoping that another scenario is possible and it is this - your parents will give you their blessing with much love and support.
Good luck. Let us know.
Dear Neurotic Wife,
I know, more than most, what you are going through. I spent 18 months of the last 2 year in Iraq, and my parents were panicked!!! They don't want me to go back, no matter what, even though I felt
a) people liked me and I made a difference
b) I loved Iraq and Iraqis
c) nothing bad happened to me
d) death comes when God wills it
e) I loved my job
My mother is 71, but could live another 20 years. I cannot live my life to please her, or I will be old and gray, and have missed the best opportunities of my life. I told her this, and she does not like it, but she understands.
Oh, yes. I am also a daughter, not a son!
Do what your heart says you should.
Lolly
l_mcdonnell2001@yahoo.com
Neurotica, you are one helluva brave girl!
First tackling The Parents, then Iraq...
Go for it, girlfriend!
Love, Tilli (Mojave Desert)
I just bookmarked your blog. I will try to post often.
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Keep in touch :)
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