neurotic Iraqi wife

I finally have ADSL, yaaaaaaaaaaaay.....dial up was such a nightmare, it used to take me ages to open up one page, or to download pictures that HUBBY would send. God what a relief. Speaking of pictures, I guess you can see that I have posted one of me, lol. This one has a story behind it. Sorry for its unclarity, but after I snapped this one, I tried to do another one, sadly enough my logitech cam had uttered its last breathe and died on me. May God rest its memory in pieces,hehe....

This picture was taken 2 weeks ago, I was kinda upset with HUBBY(as I always am) and I took it and emailed it to him incase he forgot how I looked like, which I tend to do every now and then....I decided to post it here on my blog, to show you that Im real, and to say to you hellooooo, this is me, the neurotic iraqi wife. I know how annoying it is, when you interact with someone without having a picture that goes with the words, so Im giving your imagination a break by showing you the real MOI......

When I started writing this blog back in August 25th, I wanted to vent out all my anger and my sadness about HUBBY being not around, and I also wanted people to help me find ways to get him back. I was so desperate to find a solution, that I actually wrote to Iraq Blog Count and asked them to help me on ways of letting people to read my blog. And they sure did, I really wanna thank the team so so much for making my blog public, without them I wouldnt have gotten so many amazing readers....Second on my list is non other but A Star from Mosul, Najma is an amazing YOUNG LADY. She is sooo talented and smart, that she really is an inspiration to many people from all generations. Thanx Najma, for being a star...I would also like to thank Iraq the Model, for they also introduced my blog to their many avid readers, again Im so grateful. And ofcourse I would like to thank each and every one of you that reads my never ending complaints and ramblings....You sure are patient I must say.....

I stopped trying to find ways to getting HUBBY back, cuz I realised its a lost cause. There probably are only 2 options, one is if I die, and by then it will be too late(tho I can still nag him in his dreams and turn them into nightmares,hehe), and the second which can be arranged, is if I get a fatal illness, Hmmm, dunno which one is more difficult to attain, but I have racked my brain so much that these are the only 2 worse case scenarios I came up with. And frankly speaking, the first one, is only in God's hands, the second one, hmm, now Im sure I will be more useful doing what Im doing in my new job with a healthy mental state(dont count on it tho) so Im kinda leaving that possibility once Im really desperate.

Therefore I decided to use this blog like a diary, a diary which in many many years time I would love to show my kids(if we do get the chance to have any). I wanna show them how patient and such a sweetie I was in waiting for their dad to come to me in one piece, and how miserable it is being without him. I kinda am hoping for having girls only, since they can form a feminist movement and control all those stubborn MEN, yaaaaaaaaaay, and teach them a lesson they will never forget. Cant wait for that, seriously cant.

Today I finally deposited the cheques that HUBBY gave me 2 months ago. Thank god he didnt date them or else they would have ended in the bin. The down side to these cheques is the fact that they are in dollars and umm, the country Im in, is sooooooo advanced that it takes one whole month for the money to be cashed into the account, wowww, arent I lucky. I just am hoping that it will be there before we go on vacation. But hey I aint complaining atleast I actually deposited them, cuz knowing me, they probably would have stayed there in my bag for donkey more years. I swear where else can HUBBY find such an economical WIFE like me, I have no clue. He is one lucky man, I assure you. But I cant promise not to go shoe shopping soon. Thank god he gave me his credit card, yippeeeeeee.

Yesterday was the first day of Ramadan as you probably know by now. We had the whole familia for Iftar, which basically is when we break our fast. Our house was soooooooooo noisy, that I ended up having a headache. Kids shouting , adults trying to take over each other's conversations, its hilarious. One would be talking about one subject and the other would answer back regarding a completely different one,lol....

I havent started fasting yet, Im hoping tomorrow I will. But I did one good thing, and that was teaching my younger sister to pray. You see, one sect prays one way, the other sect prays in another way, and thats why my sister was so confused that she gave up on the idea. I too was the same, but I decided to go and buy a book to teach myself the right way. I didnt want to do it according to sects, I wanted to do it the way our prophet(pbuh) used to perform his prayers. Some people tend to complicate things, like how to place your feet while kneeling, and how to place your hands while standing, etc, others tend to simplify things so much, that the prayer ends in 2 minutes. So inorder not to feel guilty I had bought a book, and started praying accordingly. But I also believe that what counts is your real intentions and not how you pray. Its the intent of getting closer to God, its the intent of being a good person, thats really whats important and what really really counts.It was great teaching my sister how to pray, yet somehow difficult. But in the end she did it, and Im proud.

I was asking HUBBY if any of his colleagues are fasting, he said almost all the Iraqis are, except HIM. You see, HUBBY for the past 25 years of his life lived in the States, and didnt really live with his family. So infact he never experienced the "real" Ramadan ambience. I on the other hand lived in a Middle eastern country then moved to London, but I kept the habbit of fasting. So today I told HUBBY that he should start fasting. He gave me the excuse of cant cuz "Im a smoker". Hmmm well Im a damn smoker as well, but when push comes to shove, I will do it. So Im gonna nag him even more until he will. Yaaaaaaaaaaay more nagging. Geez I wander where he gets his patience from.....Thank God for that. If I was a guy and had a wife like me, I would probably have ended umm in Iraq as well,lol......Poor HUBBY.....

Im kinda hoping that HUBBY would learn some (some and not all mind you, cuz there are ones that are quite unbearable) of the traditions that he left behind when he left Iraq, but I doubt this will be the case, since in reality he aint living in the "real" Iraq. I dunno, I just want God to be merciful with us, to protect HUBBY and to protect all those innocent people who are out there.

I totally condemn the bombings of the churches that took place today. I was watching the news, and one church was utterly devastated. My mom was telling me, that Iraq has some of the oldest churches in the world. She was telling me how back in the good old days, in their neighbourhood, everyone lived peacefully with one another, muslims, christians and even jews. I swear I cannot fathom, how those criminals are still going on in full strength...Why cant they be stopped, why cant they be caught. Im a firm believer of God, but at times of weakness, I question him and ask"why?why do you allow this to happen?why do you allow innocent people to die so ruthlessly and allow those coldblooded creatures to live?". Forgive me God for asking and wandering, I never doubt your power nor your existence, but everyone is asking the same questions over and over again. People say its a test, a test for what? For perseverence???But those who are persevering aint surviving, so what are they being tested on???Again I seek forgivenees for questioning you......I just wish all this would stop and Iraq will become a wanderful place that everyone can visit without being fearful....

I always get my ideas when Im in the shower or when Im in bed, and I thought of a Master plan that would eliminate those barbarians. Yaaaaaaaay.... Umm, but am not sure if its feasible, and I know many people would laugh at it, but its better than bloodshed. I dunno if I should share it with the world but here goes, well, why dont we crush harmless sleeping pills, and place it in every food item and every drinking one, and we get the whole country to sleep except the national guard and the police. Then they can go to every household and get the criminals out, without bombing anyone nor killing anyone. And hey prestooooooooo you get a peaceful Iraq.....What do you think???I know its risky and it probably violates human rights, though it already has been violated with these heinous acts, but this is the most peaceful way. Cuz theres no way in hell that those low life creatures will negotiate, nor do they understand the meaning of the word.And Only THEN will I be able to carry HUBBY on a stretcher and get him outta there, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.....

Maybe we should start a fund, a fund to collect money to buy all the sleeping pills available and we can begin our mission. So Sleeping Pills anyone????