neurotic Iraqi wife
October 15, 2004
Mr Sense....
I couldnt sleep well, I woke up every 2 hours in a cold sweat. I was sweating like a donkey while the damn AC was on full blast. I kept thinking about that explosion in the Green Zone Cafe. When I wrote my previous post I didnt know the details of what had happened. But then I read it on the net. I was in shock. It could have been HUBBY, God Forbid.
I dont know what to think, Im so relieved he wasnt there yet so damn angry that he could have been. The Green Zone Cafe was HUBBY's favourate hang out place. And at the time of the explosion, 12:40 pm(lunch time) would have been exactly the time where HUBBY would be there. Do you see what Im saying????HUBBY was saved. HUBBY was lucky. I didnt realise this until later, when I was in bed. The thoughts kept rushing through my mind. Thoughts of what if, what if, what if.
He called me this morning, his room mate packed and left. Yup, the room mate couldnt deal with all the stress, so last night, he booked a flight out of that hell hole, packed his stuff and left in the morning. GOOD FOR HIM. Im glad, that someone is using their mind. I asked HUBBY why the hell is he staying there, why put yourself in this position???Why dont you use your brains and get out while you can, then you can come back when things get better???His answer was, lets see what happens. For God's sake man, wake up. Those criminals wont stop, infact they are gonna do worse things this month, since Ramadan is a Holly month, and those idiotic"Jihadists" think that its the best month to die in...They are gonna scale up their acts of violence.....
I told HUBBY may god enlighten his mind, cuz I believe he is living in la la land....He doesnt know how worried and stressed out I am. Even my brother was worried big time yesterday. I got phonecalls from friends of mine who heard about the explosions to see if HUBBY is safe. Thats how bad it was. But HUBBY doesnt know it, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, I wish I can extend my arms and just grab him by the collar and get him outta there.
Last year, my brother in law, survived the UN bombings. It was his first time to go to Baghdad after 29 years living abroad. He works for a monetary organisation that was coordinating with the UN. The bombing happened on his first day of arriving in Baghdad. His office was next to de mello's. Do you know what saved him????A glass of Iraqi tea...Yup, him and his colleague were salvating for the typical sweet Iraqi tea, once they got their tea glasses, my brother in law, went back to get the saucer then BOOM. Bodies everywhere, blood everywhere. His colleague didnt make it, may his soul rest in peace. My brother in law was blessed to have survived. I will take a picture of the blazer he was wearing on that day. Its all spluttered with blood. People's blood. He kept it as a reminder of the sad events that took place. They immediately evacuated the area, and he was put on the first plane out to Amman. He came back to us, in a daze. He couldnt believe he was alive. WE couldnt believe he was alive. Many of the people he knew were killed that day. Im sure you can imagine the state that my sister was in when she found out that her husband was in the middle of that bombing. But ilhamdilla, thank God, he made it alive.
One of HUBBY's friends who I had met when we went to Florida, told me that it will take a close call for HUBBY to leave. I was shocked when she uttered those words but now I know exactly what she means, I know it sounds horrible but I guess thats the only way. Either that, or his company should realise how dangerous things are getting and should take the employees outside Iraq for the time being....What really kills me, is that he has the bloody chance to leave. He can do it any minute, any day, but he chooses not to. Thats whats killing me.
You might think that men in their 40's are mature enough to know whats right from wrong, but apparantely NOT. There's a 13 year gap between HUBBY and I. I never actually felt it, since he is so young at heart. I seem more serious than he is, he always takes things easily, while Im the one who worries and stress myself out. HUBBY on the other hand just sits back and smiles. I shoulda known. You know how in amuzement parks, when you go on a ride and a camera flashes at the scariest moment. Well, all the photos that were taken of us on the rollercoasters that we rode in summer, were like this: HUBBY in control and smiling big time, while MRS here, had her mouth sooooo damn open from screaming damn loud, that you can see my tunsils. Thats how black and white we are,lol.
He was telling me how his moves are now extremely limited. His company have told all employees to avoid going to cafes and that they should go immediately to their rooms/trailers after work. So basically its a prison now. Im hoping that maybe in a couple of days, he will say FUCK this Im leaving. Im gonna pray everyday for God to put some sense in that man's brains.
Mr Sense, please please, go visit HUBBY, I know you are busy visiting many others, but HUBBY is in need of you. Go see him, and force feed him from your yummy food, put some tobasco, and loads of salt, and maybe some fat on the side. That will make HUBBY devour you in no time. Cmon Mr Sense, dont be late, and while you are feeding him, whisper in his ears and tell him in your ever so slight voice: Get outta here son, go back to your WIFE, for she loves you and misses you, (Then suddenly SCREAM and tear his ear drums and say) "AND WANTS TO MAKE BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NOWWWWWWW"
I dont know what to think, Im so relieved he wasnt there yet so damn angry that he could have been. The Green Zone Cafe was HUBBY's favourate hang out place. And at the time of the explosion, 12:40 pm(lunch time) would have been exactly the time where HUBBY would be there. Do you see what Im saying????HUBBY was saved. HUBBY was lucky. I didnt realise this until later, when I was in bed. The thoughts kept rushing through my mind. Thoughts of what if, what if, what if.
He called me this morning, his room mate packed and left. Yup, the room mate couldnt deal with all the stress, so last night, he booked a flight out of that hell hole, packed his stuff and left in the morning. GOOD FOR HIM. Im glad, that someone is using their mind. I asked HUBBY why the hell is he staying there, why put yourself in this position???Why dont you use your brains and get out while you can, then you can come back when things get better???His answer was, lets see what happens. For God's sake man, wake up. Those criminals wont stop, infact they are gonna do worse things this month, since Ramadan is a Holly month, and those idiotic"Jihadists" think that its the best month to die in...They are gonna scale up their acts of violence.....
I told HUBBY may god enlighten his mind, cuz I believe he is living in la la land....He doesnt know how worried and stressed out I am. Even my brother was worried big time yesterday. I got phonecalls from friends of mine who heard about the explosions to see if HUBBY is safe. Thats how bad it was. But HUBBY doesnt know it, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, I wish I can extend my arms and just grab him by the collar and get him outta there.
Last year, my brother in law, survived the UN bombings. It was his first time to go to Baghdad after 29 years living abroad. He works for a monetary organisation that was coordinating with the UN. The bombing happened on his first day of arriving in Baghdad. His office was next to de mello's. Do you know what saved him????A glass of Iraqi tea...Yup, him and his colleague were salvating for the typical sweet Iraqi tea, once they got their tea glasses, my brother in law, went back to get the saucer then BOOM. Bodies everywhere, blood everywhere. His colleague didnt make it, may his soul rest in peace. My brother in law was blessed to have survived. I will take a picture of the blazer he was wearing on that day. Its all spluttered with blood. People's blood. He kept it as a reminder of the sad events that took place. They immediately evacuated the area, and he was put on the first plane out to Amman. He came back to us, in a daze. He couldnt believe he was alive. WE couldnt believe he was alive. Many of the people he knew were killed that day. Im sure you can imagine the state that my sister was in when she found out that her husband was in the middle of that bombing. But ilhamdilla, thank God, he made it alive.
One of HUBBY's friends who I had met when we went to Florida, told me that it will take a close call for HUBBY to leave. I was shocked when she uttered those words but now I know exactly what she means, I know it sounds horrible but I guess thats the only way. Either that, or his company should realise how dangerous things are getting and should take the employees outside Iraq for the time being....What really kills me, is that he has the bloody chance to leave. He can do it any minute, any day, but he chooses not to. Thats whats killing me.
You might think that men in their 40's are mature enough to know whats right from wrong, but apparantely NOT. There's a 13 year gap between HUBBY and I. I never actually felt it, since he is so young at heart. I seem more serious than he is, he always takes things easily, while Im the one who worries and stress myself out. HUBBY on the other hand just sits back and smiles. I shoulda known. You know how in amuzement parks, when you go on a ride and a camera flashes at the scariest moment. Well, all the photos that were taken of us on the rollercoasters that we rode in summer, were like this: HUBBY in control and smiling big time, while MRS here, had her mouth sooooo damn open from screaming damn loud, that you can see my tunsils. Thats how black and white we are,lol.
He was telling me how his moves are now extremely limited. His company have told all employees to avoid going to cafes and that they should go immediately to their rooms/trailers after work. So basically its a prison now. Im hoping that maybe in a couple of days, he will say FUCK this Im leaving. Im gonna pray everyday for God to put some sense in that man's brains.
Mr Sense, please please, go visit HUBBY, I know you are busy visiting many others, but HUBBY is in need of you. Go see him, and force feed him from your yummy food, put some tobasco, and loads of salt, and maybe some fat on the side. That will make HUBBY devour you in no time. Cmon Mr Sense, dont be late, and while you are feeding him, whisper in his ears and tell him in your ever so slight voice: Get outta here son, go back to your WIFE, for she loves you and misses you, (Then suddenly SCREAM and tear his ear drums and say) "AND WANTS TO MAKE BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NOWWWWWWW"
12 Comments:
Salamat Neurotic Wife. God bless your husband and the rest of the people out there who are trying to do some good in Iraq. If only I wished I was one of them out there doing something for my people.
Your husband sounds like a great guy, one that does use his brain but is stubborn with what he wants to do. Just like a typical Iraqi really :) I have never yet met an Iraqi who's not a little bit stubborn for the least, it's just in our blood. When we want something, we go for it until it happens or we'll simply die trying to get it. It reminds me of what my mother is doing really..she's out there tapping her shoes, demanding and proving everyone that she deserves what she's supposed to get, and inshallah, by God's all will, it will happen.
Anyhow, this comment shouldn't be about me. It's about you and your wonderful husband which I happen to see from what you talk about him. You should be proud of him, even though he's not with you, risking his life for his country. But believe me, doing such a thing is done by people who care about the future of their home, especially at this time. I just believe your husband is doing this before it gets too late for him to do what he wants...before its too late when you two will make babies inshAllah :)
Ramadhan Mubarak
Insha Allah your husband is doing fine. Leave everything to HIM
I know if hubby was my husband I would feel the same as you. But I just want you to know I'm proud of him. We have sons, brothers and husbands in Iraq from the usa too. We want them home with us too, but for now they have to do what they feel in their hearts to do. It's not that they don't love their families, it's because they DO love their family and are thinking of their children and grandchildren. I pray God keeps your hubby and the people who love peace there safe. "SIS" from the usa
Hehehe AD whats that? :)
bil e-mail isa2leeeneee mooo gidam il 3alam...never know with the net... know what i mean... mareeed virusaaaaat.....
inshallah you will be happy soon, dont be stressed too much.... it doesn't help that where we live isnt that exciting so it gives us too much thinking time....
by the way il amreeekeyeen kulish eeee7ibooch....:)
lazim agool lil jala il 3raqiya 3ala hatha il mawthooo3...... just kidding... keep up the good work
NIW: Your words put a shock in my heart, that was close! It's a hell of a spot for you both to be in, I'd sure be applying pressure to have him take some time off soon. I'd want my hubby out too, however we know if everyone leaves, then this has all been for naught! Anyone worth it, is worth waiting for.
I am so glad your brother-in-law survived the bombing, my heart goes out to all who have fallen by these a**holes actions.
Hang-in for better times ahead. I'm planning a slogan T-shirt for you;
"My marriage survived the Iraqi terrorist elimination process".
Take care...
NIW,
Things will get better. They may get worse before they get better, but things will definitely improve. Look at Afghanistan - don't you think they've had their share of crazy extremists - hell, if they can survive the Taliban and participate in free elections, you Iraqis should have no problems doing the same.
They're starting the Big Crackdown on Fallujah and the other towns and that should lessen the number of attacks.
Just remember that Iraq isn't the only country to experience these things, but if the other nations like
El Salvador and Nicaragua can survive, so can you.
Sara, please dont say this blog is about me, you can talk about anything and everything. I know how u feel, when u say u wish u can be there, bes ihnaka ghaba, 9adgeenee. There are no laws its like you are living in a forrest filled with wild animals. When I spoke to HUBBY today, he asked me a question, and for the first time in my life I didnt know what to say. He asked me:So do you still wanna come and work here or have u changed ur mind?". I was quiet, usually I would be so sure of things and say YES I AM COMING, but now, after I spoke to those ppl from the ministry and after what Im seeing on TV, Im confused. after a couple of seconds I answered him with I dunno...BTW, whats ur mom doing??
I hope I aint prying but just curious....
Stephie, thanx, I tried to tell him to come earlier, but didnt wanna push my luck, so again when I was speaking to him today, he said that he feels strangled cuz now his movement is very limited and he feels lonely cuz his roommate left, I simply pinched myself and forced only encouragement out of my mouth. I told him to be patient and that in almost a month he is gonna be able to breathe again. I felt the urge of hugging him and telling him, like a child, that its gonna be all ok, you know what I mean???
Faisal, Ramadhan Kareem to you too bro, and inshallah it will bring with it peace....
SIS from the USA, very true, almost everyone out there is trying to do something good. I say almost cuz there are others who are just taking advantage of the situation. Just like HUBBY's superiors. They are there for the money and not the welfare of the Iraqis. But they are a minority. HUBBY tells me that almost all the Americans, his colleagues, especially his room mate that left, had their hearts purely for the good cause of the Iraqi people....Thank God for that...
Sami, lol, I didnt mean to afudh7ak, but CAN YOU TELL ME IF YOU ARE LIVING IN AD?? hehe....Just kidding. Oh and btw, shinoo ghayran min 3indee li2anhum i7uboonee????moot ib dammak,lol...hem kidding....
Leapfrog, great tshirt, even better than mine,lol. I just hope HUBBY appreciates all these ideas, oh and we can add a picture of a leaping frog, how about that???
Mr Ghost, wow this is exactly what HUBBY said to me today, things will get worse before it gets better. Hmmm, I dunno about that, cuz everyday I say nothing can be worse than today, then tomorrow comes and its BAD. I hope you and him are right, I really do, but in the process, I want my HUBBY and everyone's HUBBY, father, son, brother, mother, sister, wife, daughter be safe. Im fed up of living in a world filled with principles, cuz principles with such people, the ones who are killing the innocent, DOES NOT WORK.
Dear Neurotic Wife,
Thank you for your reply. The only reason I said this blog is about you and your husband is because if I think this blog is my territory as well, I'd end up complaining that I won't be able to stop what I'm doing. And trust me, you can count on me complaining for hours and hours about what I feel and think and become sad about. And I'm sure that's how it goes with you too, doesn't it?
Yes I would have replied in the same way if I was asked that question by anyone, if I wanted to go back to Iraq and start a whole new life there. I usually say yes but I do not think about it seriously because I know inside of me, I want to go back but I have these chills and thoughts of not to. Since my dad's mother passed away this week as well as his father passing away a year and 4months ago, he has been thinking of going to visit Iraq soon. He called his brother in Baghdad today and told him about it and for me to seriously think of that plan is freaking the hell out of me. 3ala 7atha itha ma lizmo...la sama7 allah. It's luck if the person going to Iraq next will be caught and kidnapped or not.
In reply to your question of my mother's occupation, my mother is an Ophthalmologist (eye doctor). She graduated from the University of Baghdad and got her Postgraduate in UK. She with the rest of this family came here to the south of this world and 10 years after now, she's still trying to attend exams in order to be allowed to work permanently in what ever job she wants. Mashallah 3alayha she still has confidence but also her ups and downs everyday, she's in her late 50s and knows all of the materials from the great work experience in different countries she has. I am always proud of her but I feel like crap knowing how they're treating her this way. But my dad is in a worse situation.
And so this is my rambling and complaining..see what I'm telling you Neurotic Wife? lol..It's ENDLESS! :-)
IDEA:
When your husband returns to you in a month, why don't you discuss your concerns about security and see if he will consent to taking some time off? Delaying a few months or a year to wait for security isn't the same as abandoning his mission. It's more like waiting for the weather to clear before taking action. There are also jobs that don't require physically being inside the country, for example, fundraising for media channels that broadcast from outside (Al Fayhaa, et cetera). Hopefully a compromise can be struck. If your husband has a primary responsibility to provide for (future) children, he should limit physical risks.
Kenjiro
Lol Umhakima, believe me sis, its a lost cause. Knowing HUBBY and from what I get about your HUBBY from your blog, I am sure that there wont be any deal, THEY ARE THERE TO STAYYYYYYYYY, Grrrrrrrrr. I know I shouldnt say this, especially this month, but Im only joking, what if we get toy boys as boyfriends, take pictures with them and pretend we have forgotten about our HUBBIES, I think they will come back to us with a speed of lightning,hehe....Just kidding wallah....
Sara, wowwww, your mom sounds great. I wish her all the best, and pray that she will get what she is working hard for.....ma3a il asaf hi hiya il 7ala ileee saddam wa9alna beeha.....Since I aint fasting today, and again I know I shouldnt curse, but I will say this, Allah yil3an kul 7akim 6aghee oo kafir illeee khala il balad malta kharaba. Hatha il 7a8eer howa wil zumra malta il criminals.....I hope they brun in hell, and I hope they will be tortured just like they tortured their own people......Oh and BTW, dont worry about blabbing on, welcome to the club, the NEUROTIC CLUB....lol
Scott, we all want the blood to stop, all of us, except those low life criminals.....
Kenjiro, Im hoping, that after the bombings in the green zone, and how strict the companies have become with the movement of their employees, HUBBY will get so home sick that he will forget about Iraq and come back to me. But then again, how can he feel home sick when he hasnt lived with me much ;-(
Dear NW, I am happy that Hubby is okay and I understand your fears. It is good to voice them on your blog rather than bottle it up inside. You are right in saying all want their loved ones to come home safely. Sometimes it is harder on those left behind because your mind imagines danger 24/7 while those there have periods when they feel comfortable and well protected. That feeling is changed at moments of terror strike and then return for them. The media doesn't help since they like to broadcast the very worst they can find. God bless you and Hubby during your holy month. We will have rough days ahead until US and then Iraq elections are over.
facinating t-shirts and custom t-shirts that are really cool.
Post a Comment
<< Home