Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape neurotic Iraqi wife: August 2004

neurotic Iraqi wife

August 31, 2004


Oh my god, I did it, I did it, I finally got rid of the virus and believe it or not with noooooooo help. I just sat down and pulled myself together, ran a couple of programs, deleted some weird looking sites and hey prestooooooooo, I can blog like normal people and I do not have annoying pop ups coming into my face every 2 mins, I guess all this comes down to one thing and that is confessing my love to HUBBY,lol. Wont be a habbit I swear...My mood was kinda down, especially after that horrible dream and to top it all off, when I did speak to HUBBY today and told him about it, he said Woooooow, I wish I can go to the moon, if I do get the opportunity I will definitely go for it.....GRRRRRRR.
No more I love you letters from now on, but I did forget to mention one thing and that will be the PS of my letter in my previous post...

PS: I love you HUBBY cuz although you left me for Iraq, you were willing to risk your life, your whole existence just to be with the people and help them get up on their feet, help them build a free loving country devoid of hatred and malice, a country that I love, you love and every single Iraqi loves....May god be with you and protect you and all the innocent Iraqies who just wanna live safely and happily ever after....

posted by neurotic_wife at 7:11 PM 6 comments


To my dearest and one and only HUBBY
I am writing this to you, and I know you will never get to see it, but I really am in need of telling you how much I really do Love you. Do you remember when you asked me, why I do love you and I answered you by saying that I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing so your head wont get too big, well here goes, you caught me on a very vulnerable day and I am willing to spill it all out.
I love you HUBBY cuz no matter how loud I shout and scream at you, you stll hug me and kiss me and tell me that you love me.
I love you HUBBY cuz even though the mulookhiya I attempted to cook was so unedible you stll ate it and said I was the best cook ever and you kissed me on my forehead.
I love you HUBBY cuz even though you knew you would end up feeling sick after the HULK rollercoaster You still rode with me and enjoyed it.
I love you HUBBY cuz you got really worried when you saw one of my moles looking strange and tried to get me to see a Dr.
I love you HUBBY cuz you bought me all kinds of coffee when you knew I was arriving and I know very well you had no clue whatsoever in the coffee department since you are a coke drinker.
I love you HUBBY cuz when thunder stroke and you know I have a real phobia from it, you took me in your arms and tried to protect me.
I love you HUBBY cuz I find it real cute that you store all your toiletries in different small plastic bags instead of having one big toiletry bag for all.
I love you HUBBY cuz you tried your uttermost best to feed me so I can gain weight knowing that you hated junk food and Ben & Jerry's icecream.
I love you HUBBY cuz the second I told you I wanted a digital cam, you went and bought me one.
I love you HUBBY cuz you helped me out with cleaning the house when you were really exhausted and knackered.
I love you HUBBY cuz your smile never leaves your face even though at times I can be so unbareable you could kill me.
I love you HUBBY cuz you finally wore the pants I got you knowing that you loathed fancy clothes that are in fashion.
I love you HUBBY cuz you never uttered a word when I told you I was travelling to attend a friend's wedding, actually all you said was, enjoy every second of it darling and have fun.
I love you HUBBY for all your untidiness and scruffiness. I love you with all my heart, If you only knew how much, you would never have left me suffer by myself.
I love you HUBBY for all the silly stories and jokes you tell me when I am in a foul mood.
I actually even love you HUBBY when you tease me and talk about Gina and all the other women.

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posted by neurotic_wife at 2:31 PM 3 comments

To The Moon???

God, today I woke up with tears in my eyes, literally tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart thumping like hell. I still can remember the dream, if there's anyone out there who knows interpreting dreams maybe you can help...
The dream was basically welcoming HUBBY back from Iraq, and as usual I prepared myslef for all the loving and hugging, when I have no clue who, announces that they need people to go to the moon. And guess who enlists, HUBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I begged and cried and was pulling him towards me, but he had already made his mind, and then for some weird reason, a strange guy pops up holding a bunch of huge and I mean huge yellow dates (which i think in arabic are called barhi) and he said this is what we found on our last trip on the moon....before HUBBY's departure I held his hand so tight and there was this other woman, who apparantely volunteered as well, and she held both of our hands and was crying as well. I woke up with a jolt and till now my heart is aching, for HUBBY left me yet again, and he chose to be on another planet away from me,away from his NEUROTIC WIFE...Even my dreams arent spared and I feel real low and down.
Yesterday I spent the whole day trying to figure the virus I had on my computer, I went to a forum and installed everything they asked me to, it took for ages, and still nothing worked. I stayed up till 3am, my back started aching and I just cried my eyes out, I guess its just the accumulation of everything around me, but I would really like to thank Ihath and Bushman for trying to help out, it kinda reminded me that the world still has people who care.

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posted by neurotic_wife at 2:02 PM 1 comments

August 30, 2004


Hmmm, as I have mentioned before, my little teeny weeny brain has been working over time in figuring out how to get HUBBY back to his senses and into my arms. I have been planning, scheduling and analysing every miniscule detail that I can rack my brain with, and reached to PLAN D..
Plan A:  was to Try every move and position no matter how painful it is
Verdict: Ended up with major muscle pain and plan failed miserably, must enrol in pilates soon
Plan B: was to Try and cook (or pretend to cook)every yummy food that HUBBY loves
Verdict: HUBBY spent most of the time in the bathroom,lol.
Plan C: was to Get a job in Baghdad
Verdict: Job is still pending..
Plan D: was to Stop calling HUBBY every 2 hours of the day and instead call just once
Verdict: IT BLOODY WORKED (for now that is)
I have been extremely occupied with fixing a huge problem that my IE (internet explorer) is having. I have no clue why, but I still cannot post like normal beings and every 2 seconds a pop up jumps into my face and every word I type gets linked to the most annoying search engine from hell, so I found a great excuse not to think or bother HUBBY, that does not mean that my brain cells havent been doing the work....
So just an hour ago, my phone rings and its HUBBY asking" Hi, do you still remember me, Im your HUBBY" OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, HUBBY is getting insecure, OH MY DEAR GOD, YES YES YES!!! I pretended to be as "normal" as can be which really in my case I have no clue what "normal" is but hey there's no harm in pretending is there??? And answered HUBBY with " hello, who is this?" LMAO...Then the converstaion steered into the whereabouts of Gina (the cute waitress that had eyes for HUBBY). Apparantely Gina moved to the chinese cafe, and is no longer working in my HUBBY's favourate place, aaaaaah how sad.
So after discussing Gina and her daily new routine shifts, HUBBY asked me why havent I called him all day? hmmm, I LOVE THIS PLAN, I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, not that D was intended to happen, it was a fluke a fluke that was a result of this ever so annoying pop ads and what have you. BUT IT WORKED!!! Yes sirrreeeee.

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posted by neurotic_wife at 7:09 PM 4 comments

August 29, 2004

Treat Them Mean Keep Them Keen (continuation)

Hey cool, Blogging from email worked for me, although I still am not sure about why I cant blog the normal way, in anycase back to my favourate subject HUBBY.....
So does treating men mean make them really keen? hmmm, I always wonder about that, in recent years I have analysed almost all the married couples around me, and to the disappointing discovery I reached a conclusion, If you are a mean, heartless, nagging ever so annoying wife the husband actually submits to every single demand and treats you like a queen, but if you are a nice, gentle, patient and ever so obeying, he does not even acknowledge your existence since he will take you for granted...sad but true most of the time...
Now HUBBY is neither, HUBBY lives in his own little world with his own small collection of STAR TREK (eeeeewwwwww). And that is why I cannot really suss HUBBY out. However I treat him, he is still nice, I scream my head off, HUBBY just smiles and puts his arms around me and tells me to CHILL OUT, I sulk for bloody 2 whole hours HUBBY just comes to me, gives me a hug and goes to his study to check his email GRRRRRRRRR ...I was reading the other day how the net dismantles marriages and somehow I am thankfull that HUBBY doesnt have a good deal of access to the net in Baghdad, or so he claims....
Actually darn, a great idea has just surpassed my ever so busy mind this very moment, I shoulda bought one of those spy cams and inserted it in the wedding ring I forced him to wear...talking of which, when I called HUBBY yesterday I demanded to speak to the person sitting on his left, he asked why I just told him to give the damn phone to whoever it is, a few hustlings and bustlings later an American guy says into my ears "howdy there this is so and so, who are ya?" hmm I managed not to burst out laughing and I said "Hiya im HUBBY'S WIFE". "Oh well helloooooooo there, Im your HUBBY'S room mate" well to cut the BS formalities out I just went to the point and asked the MR " can you do me a favour pls, can you see whats on my HUBBY's left hand?" I think the MR just was bewildered and gave me silence when he finally got his senses back he replied "Oh yeah I can see a wedding band ma'am" "Thanx MR, keep a good eye on HUBBY" I said. HUBBY took the phone back and asked what did I say to MR, I said nuthin. But I am pretty sure the MR dares never to meet me,hahahahhaahhaahah....I am absoluelty certain by now the adjective NEUROTIC is really an understatement...dont you think? 
As for HUBBY deciding to leave Iraq, I really think its a shortlived feeling cause HUBBY when asked why cant he live a normal life with his "normal" wife, the answer is always, "I cannot leave Iraq, I cannot leave my people, If you only take one look at them you will feel guilty and you really want to help out" hmmm, why cant he bloody feel guilty when he looks into MY innocent (not really) eyes and help me out of my misery????I know I know, I sound completely selfish but hey Im a newly married gal, if this conversation was taking place 5 years down the line I woulda understand, since maybe by that time, we both couldnt bare to sit with each other in one room, but 3 days, 3 bloody days after getting married, now thats abit wacko...

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posted by neurotic_wife at 11:29 PM 5 comments

Treat Them Mean Keep Them Keen???

I actually am having severe problems with my blog, I cant seem to compose nor edit anything, so I am using my last life line by posting through email, lets hope this If anyone can help pls I will appreciate it....
HUBBY called today, he was in this cafe that is known as Gina's for its attractive teenage waitress. HUBBY once mentioned that she used to eye him alot, hmmm, HUBBY really knows how to rub me the right way doesnt he, Bless him... Well he called while having his dinner which was basically Gus (shredded lamb) with extra lia (extra fat parts) YumYum, how healthy one can be, HUBBY was feeling DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, YIPPEEEEE its time for celebrations, god I'm sure he will kill me if he knew I was writing this, I know I sound mean, by celebrating but HUBBY wants to get out of IRAQ!!!!! yay yay yay yay, here I am singing to myself CONGRATULATIONS & CELEBRATIONS. Finally the man got his senses back, finally he will love me and cherish me and never let me go, hmmmm, too good to be true, but believe it or not, for the first time in a WHOLE week, HUBBY ended the conversation with and I really wanna quote here "bye sweetie, I love you". Did my poor little teeny weeny bloodless heart jump a beat??HELL YA, did it contnue dancing to rythm is a dancer HELL YA.
"Treat them mean, keep them keen" is this a unisex statement??? This post is to be continued once I know emailing it does actually work... 

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posted by neurotic_wife at 10:35 PM 0 comments

August 28, 2004

Does Anyone Have a Clue How To....

Hmm A question I really need to ask both women and men, does anyone have a clue how to get HUBBY glued to me? I mean I did it ALL, I know its kinda tabboo to talk about these issues in our culture but being desperate erases all tabboo subjects, and besides I havent told any of my friends or family about my blog so no one really knows who is this kookoo WIFE, hahhahahahha. I am sure if they did find out, they will definitely enrol me in the psychotic hospital.

Now back to that question, you see, when HUBBY told me about his R&R and that he has 10 days off, I ran to the shops and got my hands on every piece of se** lingerie I can find, I just thought maybe that will do it, maybe in one unsane moment he will confess his undying love and forget about going back. Here is what happened...

I get off the plane wearing really uncomfortable things (god the things we women do to please our men, if only they appreciate it)I see my HUBBY waiting for me at the arrivals gate, I run to him and hug him so hard, people turned around staring at us, I guess no one is used to public affection now a days...Anyways then we hop in the car and head home, I was sitting silently so i can concentrate on the plans I had to get HUBBY under my spell,(even the Quran mentions how women can be cunning: Inna kaydahunna atheem)

Without getting into the juicy details and cutting the story short, even those se** uncomfortable, horrible items of clothing I had to endure for the whole vacation DID NOT BLOODY WORK!!! So Plan A didnt work let me try plan B which is to get him addicted to my cooking, I cooked and cooked and I even attempted to cook mulookhiya for him, a kind of spinachy like broth, it was supposed to turn slimy, after 4 hours of boiling the darn thing still looked like small leaves swimming in water, but being the nice HUBBY that he is, or probably because he was starving he ate the whole thing, and I guess suffered later, oooops poor HUBBY. But never the less Plan B didnt work either, I guess its because he didnt mind eating Iraqi Kabab, masgoof and fashafeesh, every single day who wouldnt?

So HUBBY left me yet again, and here I am thinking about Plans C through to Z, I say to myself maybe, just maybe oneday one plan will work and I will get my HUBBY back, just for me, myself and I.

So does anyone have a clue how to????
posted by neurotic_wife at 3:31 PM 7 comments

Getting Better

Well, its been a week since I last saw HUBBY, he called me twice today, wowwwwwwww arent I lucky.....but the reason for calling was him to tease me even more about the "women" in the green zone. You see, as I was surfing the net and reading the ever so interesting blogs I came upon this one

So I had sent the link to HUBBY, bigo mistakoo, cause now he will tease the hell out of me as he did today. Why do we women always fall for that???? In normal neurosis times I would have exploded down the phone and boycott HUBBY for 3 days, but today surprisingly enough I was far more interested in completeing the dream that HUBBY interrupted at 8 in the morning...That reaction sent a shock down his spine and asked me if I was ok? I just said yes go have fun and let me go back to sleep. I think I am getting better at trying to play his game....Am I smart or am I smart?

Let me just say one thing, I was very politically involved about the going ons of my country, as all Iraqis have become, not a single outing you go to you dont end up in an arguement about who is right and who is wrong, but that all changed for me. I only talk politics with people who actually understand the statement "we should agree to disagree" cause in such difficult times there is no black or white, there is no right or wrong.

I am still patriotic, that will never change but at the same time I am very disappointed about the mishappenings especially the Najaf crisis. I really cannot fathom why cant they stop Muqtada and arrest him once and for all. Hasnt enough Iraqi blood been spilt? We have suffered 35 years under that SATANIC regime and now we have little satans popping out from everywhere. I really do not understand what the Americans are doing, nor can I understand what we as Iraqis are doing. Innocent people are dying everyday, children who were yet to see the light under the tunnel had their switches turned off before their time. You see that is why I stopped talking about politics, it depresses me and now I am concentrating on poor HUBBY.

HUBBY once said to me that I had the perfect marriage, cause I have no husband to nag me all the time, I guess what he meant to say was HE had the perfect marriage cause there is no WIFE to nag him and watch his every move.

One last thing, I just read and that really put a smile on my face, a smile that I kinda miss, thanx for making me smile.......
posted by neurotic_wife at 1:28 PM 0 comments

August 26, 2004

Impotent Food?

Apparantely the latest rumour is that the KBR food is injected with anti sex formula or so HUBBY says.... hmm, I wander if its just a ploy of his never ending teasing. You see, I have threatened him many times that I will be Mrs Bobbit if i suspect for one second his thoughts are being unfaithful to me. Yup, his thoughts, even those arent spared by me.

I met a guy yesterday who promised me a job in Iraq, I said great my HUBBY will be pleased NOT!So I go and send a long email to HUBBY telling him to be on guard cause WIFE is comin over, I guess the minute he saw that email he jolted and spilt his coke on the keyboard and rushed out to give me a call and ask some serious questions.

My phone rings early morning and its HUBBY asking whats this job you mentioned, me with my sleepy croaky voice I reply its top secret HUBBY but arent you glad you will see me earlier than we thought?silence then the enivitable question,HUBBY asks where will you sleep?I answer as long as I am in the same country I dont really give a damn...again silence. I told HUBBY I wanna go back to sleep and will talk to him later.Its the first time I go back to sleep with a smile on my face, Im finally gonna win the battle....

I forgot to mention that he actually called me last night to make me listen to some singing and dancing going on in the Green Zone cafe, did it upset me?god yeah, did I show it, god nooooo.

posted by neurotic_wife at 7:03 PM 4 comments

August 25, 2004

Hubby Arrived

Hubby arrived safely to Baghdad, but here I am sulking miserably. His R&R is over and I'll have to wait for another 3 months to see him again. Life really aint fair. I think I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and that is why I wanted to start blogging. Its a way to vent out my fears, anger and frustration on mere mortals like me.

The situation in Iraq is not getting better, infact its getting far worse especially with that lunatic Muqtada, hey maybe lunacy is after all contagious, can someone tell me the statistics of lunatic people in the world today? And if you do know a site, maybe I can add myself to the ever rising numbers.

I really am in need of help, I just got married last April and hubby decided to go to Iraq inorder to "rebuild the country", a phrase I am starting to hate. I was scared to ask the question which is important, me or the country since knowing that the inevitable answer will just break my heart.

Ofcourse I want my country to be peaceful again, ofcourse I want my people to live happily ever after but being human I am also selfish cause I too wanna live a happy married life, a life that is stable, a life that is devoid of phonecalls everyday making sure that hubby is safe and well and has survived the mortar attacks or the RPG's. Is that too much to ask? Am I being a bad human being for wanting to live with my husband and build a life and a family?I dont know anymore...

Help me.....
posted by neurotic_wife at 5:51 PM 4 comments