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neurotic Iraqi wife

September 14, 2010

Que sera sera...

There was always this nagging feeling deep within me that Im on this earth for a reason. God put me here to do something, to be someone. And no,Im not talking about fame, nor fortune. I had so many questions, asked him everynight. Why? Why am I here God? Why bring me into this foresaken world?Night after night for so many years I asked him. Yet he never replied. Or maybe he did and I never heard. Or maybe I heard but I didnt want to listen.

Today after all these years I stopped asking. I stopped asking not because I gave up but because I now know what the answer is. I finally got to listen. I finally managed to make sense of it all. Sense from all the non sense around me. I always thought that Id be a writer. A writer with a voice. A voice for the people. The Iraqi people. Unfortunately though, I failed. And failed miserably. Though my voice was loud, it wasnt loud enough. My words may have been strong but not strong enough. And just like I did, people may have heard me, they heard me but chose not to listen. Now my calling is beyond any love. Any love for one's country, beyond any love for one's people. Now my calling is more than Love. Its way way more than that. And my voice will be louder. Much louder than it ever was. Because this time, this time its about survival, survival of the closest being to my heart.

My journey as a wife has come to an end. Im still a wife, but more importantly I have begun a new life. A new life as a mother. A mother of 2 beautiful creatures. This time though, the journey will be long. Long and rough. It started already on board of a long haul flight. A long haul flight thats taking me to places Ive never seen. Places Ive never heard of.

And so my friends, I want to thank you. Thank you for all your words. Thank you for all the support Ive had throughout these years. I want to thank you for being there for me when HUBBY abandoned me for our country. I want to thank you for being there for me when I was bombarded by rockets. I want to thank you for sharing with me my dreams, my hopes, my sadness. Each and everyone that read and posted on my blog, be it good or bad you were and will always remain a part of that initial journey. A part of neurotic iraqi wife's life. A part of my past laughters and past cries. So thank you. Thank you for every word you have written to me...

Right now though I have landed to my first destination. Its a far far away place, but if you know me well enough, and still want to accompany me on this long haul turbulent flight, there is no doubt you will be able to find me. I will not publicize my new place/blog for I did that mistake before. So for now, this journey has come to an end. A Bitter Sweet end. And just like my dad used to always sing to us, Que sera sera whatever will be, will be...The Future is not ours to see. What will be will be...Que sera sera....

THE END...
posted by neurotic_wife at 8:45 AM 75 comments